Life flows fast and deep beneath these streets
Through sewer pipes and broken thoughts
Of women faking smiles on the train these
Traffic lights changing sirens wailing
All neon letters and lit cigarettes
Light up the sky and
Tonight is for fairy tales and
Raindrops and ***** and dreams
That never come true

It’s a rough world, tough girls fight
Just to hang on to nothing
Nail scratching, teeth gnashing,
Struggling for spoons of soup
And a place to call home
And all the time asking
Who’s to blame because
Someone took all these people and
Shone them through a prism but
Instead of rainbows and sun they
Got all separated out into
Rich and poor and mine and yours
And careful who you mix together
Because everyone knows that
Orange and green don’t match

And somehow fate gave me the ladle
And you the bowl and why it’s not
The other way around ma’am,
I really can’t say because the
People I see here are more real than
All the money and silk and china in the world
More alive than I could ever hope to be
And all I can offer you is soup
Even though we both know it’s
Never enough

I wish I was thinner,
and I wish I ate dinner.
I wish that it didn’t smell
like peanut butter in here.

I wish she’d stop talking.
Or at least stop stalking
outside of my door.
I’m so sick of her voice.

I wish I could sleep.
And I wish he would creep
in my bed and lay with me.
But he won’t.

I wish he would call
Or acknowledge me at all.
I wish I didn’t care.
Cuz he’s not that cute.

I wish I didn’t blame myself
for things that I can’t help.
Like not being thin,
and the loud girl outside my door.

And the fact that he doesn’t like me...

Head to the body
Swallow hot toddy

A dash of narcissism

To make the throat burn
Make my insides churn

A dollop of ego

And I'm getting drunk
On your self-absorbed funk

All mixed in hot

I do it recreationally
Unconnected emotionally

We pretend we care for one another

I see through that deathly daze of yours,
I see regret, opportunity, and gratefulness,
You told me that you weren't sure,
If you're happy because you're here,
Or glum because you're not at deaths door.
And that forever breaks my heart,
So I left the demonic devices behind,
And went to my car.
Sparked a cigarette, put it to my lips, and take a drag,
Here's to the worst night I've ever had.