.

GOD,

Return my heart and mind
  To perfect love and truth.
I seek what is divine,
  The innocence of youth.
Remind me who I am,
  And teach me how to stand;
Teach me how to live,
  And show me that I can.

You're aching.
Don't tell me you aren't-
We've spent too much time together
For you to try to deceive me.

Just when you'd decided
To let me free,
You brought me back because
You couldn't let me go.

Yet,

I know it's her you're dying to see.
I know that the time we've spent together
Is nothing now that you remember
Her, and forget me.

How is it that I feel this way?
My once cold heart, now thawed-
I'm forever changed, and I've changed you.
But now? Your fickle heart betrays us both.

Just recently you told me
That you'd die for me gladly.
How I wish you would have said
You'd live for me instead.

I know you broke millions of hearts
Before you met me, and changed.
But you've thrown that in the dust-
My heart lies in fragments once more.

things will not be well
things will be awful
things will go bad
and things will
end

let this happen
be brave
enjoy what you can
and do not dwell
on anything

roll with the waves
sway with the wind
ignore the sun in your
eyes

plant your feet
and
keep growing

the sun will rise
tomorrow

Its a fragile balancing act, to stay on track, with all these attractions detracting from my distractions impact, on the blurring depictions of pictures burned in fictions past.

It's only 11:30 when I plug it in and go bed,
Screaming at myself, tears in my eyes
It had only been five days
and I didn't love her Monday,
I grew into it
and I thought she had too,
until those three words came from her tongue-


"I have someone"

my world shouldn't have shattered
I shouldn't have stayed up all night
screaming at myself and writhing in pain,
clutching my aching stomach.
I should have rolled over and gone to sleep
unsurprised.

I should be used to it
Used to spending nights like this
Used to being dissapointed
To having to turn the thermostat up to 75°
so I'm not cold at night.
To having to get on facebook and talk
so I don't fall asleep completely lonely.
To having to write so I can say
"I love you"
at the end of a poem
just to get those words out of my system.

.

I went from liking things to just clicking like on things.

I merged my reality to my online identity, but something was lost, not just in the translation, but inside of me.

Technology.

swagger in

wear your
pretty
shiny
******
tiny
fifty
cent
shoes

should you walk or strut?


flash that smile

you're that
****
hot
can
not
walk
out
girl

what's in the dark behind you?


rolled up sleeves

you are
soothing
lips
finger
tips
won't you
come and
play

hear the music all around?


seeing stars

i've been
feeling
ill
looks can
****
don't you
leave
now

are those gems dripping from your tongue?


this night's end

now i'm
swirling
round
up and
down
to the ground
dead

ashes, ashes, will you fall with me?


i can hear you

you rant
fighting stance
i can't
steal your glance
this dance
has second chance
written all over it

from your lilting lashes
to your strutting shoes

won't you come play?