I blew up,
once.
I cried my eyes out for no reason.
It felt good.
I felt that the tears dissolved away my problem.
I felt happy.
I blew up once
That's no reason to treat me like a grenade.
Like I might burst any second.
I'm stronger than you think I am.
I'm stronger than I think I am.

She is my best friend
The one girl who has always loved me and never left me
My side kick in crime
We stalk the cold streets at night
She has held my hand she has wiped my tears and
She has kissed me on my cheek endless times
Showing up at her doorstep ****** and crying
Had another fight at the house
She never judged me
She is there for me an I am there for her
We know no different
From punk kids to young adults
We still howl at the moon
When were drunk and not giving a ****
She is my best friend
The one I can count on when things in life
When things in my life don't seem right
I am her best friend
I have held her hand I have wiped her tears and
I have kissed her on the cheek endless times
When she is feeling lost and hopeless
She gives me a call
I fly I run I transport
I'm there
We are best friends til death do us apart

This is what I have been patiently waiting for
Here is my second chance
I can not let it slip through my nervous hands
Not this time
I am going to do it right
I will not fall into temptation
I will not commit any crimes
I will do it right this time
She is the love of my life
I want to hold her hand
Kiss her beautiful soft lips and never say goodbye
She is the love of my life
I would be a liar if I said I was not scared
Scared to bare my soul
Scared to give her my all
But I am falling head first
Praying that she will break my fall

these words are not apologetic;
they don't believe in lying
since words are merely tools
to flavor our blatant insincerity

these pens are not for writing;
rather, they are used for dismantling
the nib from the tube of color
to be sliced up into confetti by knives—
where the ink spills like dark blood

these poems are not for reading;
but for recording your feelings in
riddles that no one else but you can
understand, and relate to—
words coded in more words,
or in between lines with the invisible
ink of the mind and memory

these paragraphs are not sarcastic;
more of subtle reminders to you that
perhaps you should have cared
about me a little bit more than the
dust collecting on the top shelves of
your forgotten library,
while your pocket empties itself
on new volumes of books with
repetitive story plots, my own
diminishing in the sea of your curiosity

- - -

Exams are round the corner but,
I can't stop thinking of you.
Of what we had.
Of what we will never have again.
I can't study.
Your face constantly pops up in my mind.
You already ruined my life once,
why are you back to haunt me again?
I saw you at the mall the other day.
I'll never be able to forget.
And that fact kills me.

Patience is a virtue
well, I'm not a virtuous girl
The seconds drag like hours
till you're back in my world
Sleepwalk my day through mundane things,
socks and locks and chicken wings

Want to set a plan in action
you're such a beautiful distraction

My mind races to future dreams
in my brain a movie streams
future times, undone crimes
unspoken signs and movie lines
Want to make the clock tick faster
not afraid of this disaster

Want to set a plan in action
you're such a beautiful distraction

An hour passes, then two more
my heart imagines whats in store
One day gone and then another
wonder if you'll like my mother?
My feet never touch the ground
I'm screaming but I make no sound

Want to set a plan in action
you're such a beautiful distraction

Heart open to all possibilities
only held back my abilities
to please you, tease you
hold you,  squeeze you
Hoping you'll return the favor
time with you is what I savor
thrill me, fill me
tempt me, **** me

Want to set this plan in action
Oh, you're such a beautiful distraction