Keeps me locked to them
The paranoid, worrisome anxiety
Who jitters my body and makes me shake with every thought, making it a hassle to go through a day.
Adding noises into my ears, ones that
I swear to ******* god were never there before.
On the other side is the gloomy and sadden depression.
Who goes through my mind, making it a foggy and bleak mess.
Not letting me be able to think or see clearly.
Bring a curse upon me to hate my body and bring new scars upon the old ones.
The thin red string keeps them together and me held closely, almost like an unwanted comfort and not letting me break free.
I swear this red string will be the death of me.

Its Sunday
and I want to die
    cut till I bleed too much
take too many pills till I OD
    drink till I pass out

    Its Monday.
sweater helps cover the scars
    sunglasses help with the migraine
no one knows about the trip to the hospital
    and a fake smile on my lips
now i just wait till the next sunday
    so i can do it all again

How does one come to accept who they are?
Is it the pride flag that hangs in their room
Or how they boast about how gay they really are.
Maybe the acceptance is the small things
Holding a loved one's hand
And getting to see her beautiful body for who she truly is.
Until she's gone and you're stuck back lying to yourself
You can't like girls
You have to be straight
Make others happy
Not just yourself.
You fall in love again,
Or is this only a one sided relationship. He says that he loves you but
Tries to **** himself a week in.
He says he needs help with his transition
But you don't seem to good enough to help him.
He called you cute once.
And that gave you some hope
But then he stops talking to you for a week and you're lost in translation.
Did you do something wrong?
No one would know.
Your depression and paranoia gets worse
Each day you see him and have class with him
But soon you forget it
Go back to your somewhat self.
Learn he's dating someone new.
Go back to your boasting
And the laughing while everything seems normal to others, you're actually just crying on the inside.
Is this what acceptance means? Or did I miss something