I am angry also that I have composed symphonies for someone who has turned out deaf

when you're his favorite version of the word "******"
translates more towards "greedy"
and you **** him when you're hungry
tonight I'm starving
and there's nothing graceful about our touching
I'm just desperate for that next hit

you still make appearances in my dreams
but only to taunt me with the parts of you I can never have
and I wake up tasting blood on my lips instead of you
and my chest feels tight
and ****
do I need you

fire hungry
ate up all the gasoline

our spark died fast(er than you'd believe)

CHILDHOOD ON MY TONGUE

looks so much like
-red cargo shorts and
-slit wrists long before 13

she, my white girl, smells just like
-bourbon
-and we figured out why everyone calls me MIckey
-cigarette smoke
-and drenching my house in gasoline

actually
I think ******* might be kind of bitter
or you are
it's kind of hard to tell when you kiss me after every line

I do know this
I love you both

and it's killing me

I miss you

like my dad's drinking habit
and how he only says he cares after he's punched me in the face

I miss you

like my mom crying in the hallway
because she can't stand to watch me **** myself anymore

I miss you

and how we fought
and ****** and ******
and fought
and never once did you say "I love you"

I miss you

like..
well,
I guess my point is

I don't.

heart beat. no air. empty lungs. breathe slow. don't move. heart beat. blue lips. heart beat. dial tone. pick up. pick up. sirens. no air. dial tone. voices. empty lungs. no pulse. pick up. pick up. 911. over and over. again. again. again. "I'm sorry". heart beat. needles. short breaths. come on.

teenagers run when they get scared.

he's just a boy. heavy pulse. blue lips. why.

why why why why why

sirens. "I love you". sirens. "I'm sorry". sirens. "I'm leaving now". sirens.

he's gone.
knock knock. "open up". "police".