This world is beautiful once we realize
that time and expectation
provide no limitations
on the people's adaptation
and the mental emancipation
within the growing nations
of enlightened pro-creations.
See, I believe,
that when I find my destination
- there will be no hesitation -
for I have that dedication.
I want to spread my thoughts,
wander off, take a vacation.
For now I'm sitting patient;
just posted here, at my station,
counting the small money I'm making,
constantly wishing and waiting
for one marvelous day when
someone else hears what I'm saying.

                    
                    11/25
                    2013 © (KD)

I can’t wait until you realize
that nobody is ever going to love you
like I did and you have to cry over me
like I have over you for the past 8 years of my life.
I can’t wait to bring my significant other around you
while you pretend to ignore us as we kiss
and fool around under blankets.
I can’t wait to bring them to your house
and **** while you’re in the same room trying to sleep,
pretending to sleep, wishing you were dead.
I can’t wait until you lose your mind
and everyone looks at you like you’re crazy
as you explain how you love me and
you can’t do anything about it
even though I've told you that it’s never going to happen
because you aren't good enough.
I can’t wait to always look past you
as you do everything in your power to try and make me happy,
hook me up with your friends
and give me everything, but receive nothing.
I can’t wait until you beg me and I can be selfish
and make sure you’re giving me what I want,
neglecting your own needs, before I push you away
using “I’m tired” as an excuse.
I can’t wait until you are hurting yourself over me
and I have to tell you to stop, as if I give a ****,
while I continuously put you through pain.
I can’t wait until you drunkenly admit all of your feelings
and apologize for the mistakes of the past.
Even then, I’ll probably still love you, but I won’t give in.
You will never have me;
because the last time I lent you my heart, you ran with it.
I don’t think I’ll ever get it back.
And with no heart, I cannot forgive,
I can never be whole again.
I can’t wait for another chance in another life to break you, like you've broken me.

*k.d.

I told my Mom some things today,
I wish I'd said another way.
They eat me up inside,
these things I'm forced to hide.
I told her how he makes me feel;
I told her just "what's the big deal?".
She didn't seem to notice
so I came right out and told her.

She didn't seem too happy,
she just kept talking at me.
I cannot stand another day,
I shouldn't have to live this way.
She needed to know how I feel.
I came right out and told her.

My thoughts remain trapped here in my mind, like a box,
Pandora's Box.
We must be sure to never let them out.
They could ruin everything.
Can't you see them poisoning me?
Rotting my insides with doubt.

k.d.

It's like reaching out when there's nothing to clasp;
its like taking a breath that feels like your last.

Like leaping for something that's not really there,
or wanting to scream, when no one would care.

Like holding a hand that your eyes cannot see;
like being en-caged where they said you'd be free.

The sky is the limit, but I'm not that tall.
A confused little girl in this world feeling small.

No one to turn to, no where to stay;
My only way out seems so far away.

But I will get through this
And this too shall pass.
I tell myself this, then life spirals, I crash.

I'm just a girl, so your point I can't see.
Is it not possible;
that it's you not just me

-*kd