I can’t wait until you realize
that nobody is ever going to love you
like I did and you have to cry over me
like I have over you for the past 8 years of my life.
I can’t wait to bring my significant other around you
while you pretend to ignore us as we kiss
and fool around under blankets.
I can’t wait to bring them to your house
and **** while you’re in the same room trying to sleep,
pretending to sleep, wishing you were dead.
I can’t wait until you lose your mind
and everyone looks at you like you’re crazy
as you explain how you love me and
you can’t do anything about it
even though I've told you that it’s never going to happen
because you aren't good enough.
I can’t wait to always look past you
as you do everything in your power to try and make me happy,
hook me up with your friends
and give me everything, but receive nothing.
I can’t wait until you beg me and I can be selfish
and make sure you’re giving me what I want,
neglecting your own needs, before I push you away
using “I’m tired” as an excuse.
I can’t wait until you are hurting yourself over me
and I have to tell you to stop, as if I give a ****,
while I continuously put you through pain.
I can’t wait until you drunkenly admit all of your feelings
and apologize for the mistakes of the past.
Even then, I’ll probably still love you, but I won’t give in.
You will never have me;
because the last time I lent you my heart, you ran with it.
I don’t think I’ll ever get it back.
And with no heart, I cannot forgive,
I can never be whole again.
I can’t wait for another chance in another life to break you, like you've broken me.
*k.d.