You treat me so rough
when I beg you for delicate
You say that you love me
but you’re not really selling it

I remember the strength
I once held while celibate
I was a purified flower,
You were loving the smell of it..

But my thorns can be prickly
And I fear you won’t like that
So when you cause pain,
I try hard not to bite back

I love you unconditionally
and though I cannot fight that,
I wish you could see
how it hurts to fall off track

The pain in my foot
is the pain in your back
God sent you a mirror
And that mirror collapsed

If you look at what’s happening
You’ll see that I am you
So it’s not what you want to,
But maybe what you can do.

To reach outside yourself
to care for another
You could learn so much
From the love of a mother

This is what I offer
A new perspective
I know that you’ll see it
You’re very perceptive

I spin you in circles
And we finish our dance
I search for the conditions
They’re there; in your glance.

It’s both of our worst fear,
you won’t speak aloud.
I say all of my thoughts,
As they pass by like clouds.

Some are dark, some shiny, some gray
You only acknowledge them
Only every other day

Make me laugh and perspire,
Push my feelings away
The pain fades temporarily,
Yet the doubtfulness stays

“am I ungrateful”
Or
“Am I being punished”
I ask myself often,
As I sift through the dunnage

I unbury the fear
At the root of it all
I was rising in love,
But beginning to fall

You weren’t willing to catch me
Because you never saw
I tried to speak to you,
But did so, through a wall

Will you love me unconditionally
When you don’t like what you see?
Are you in love with an idea,
Or do you truly love ME.

She wanted to be loved, to be seen and heard.
She cried for help and was met with distaste.
She learned to stop asking for help.
She learned to rely only on herself.
She carried herself for many many years.
She waited patiently for something
to come along to lighten the load.
While she was carrying the weight of these things,
it began to rain.
The burdens became soaked,
which made them heavier.
She kept dragging on with a smile,
she knew that she couldn’t ask for help.
She knew that if she didn’t smile,
nobody would want her around.
So she suffered in silence.
Year after year, she put on a mask
as it became more and more difficult to hide
the strain in her face as her legs got weaker.
She was becoming exhausted and
couldn’t find any other path
to go down or a place to rest.
She just had to keep going.
She walked for 28 years
before she could no longer
handle the blisters on her feet.
She took her shoes off.
She left them somewhere
in case anybody else had to
walk this treacherous walk.
She walked into what seemed to be a dark tunnel.
She kept walking and waiting
for the light at the end, but it never came.
She walked right into her own demise.
A trap. Tunnels don’t always have
the promise of light at the end.
She never saw it coming.
28 years she walked only to find herself at a ledge.
She was tired. She stepped down.
She walked right into the void
and fell down a never ending hole.
She let go. She surrendered.
She waited for the thud,
but nothing came.
She just kept falling with all of her burdens in tow.
Everyone wondered where she went.
Where she ended up.
They never saw her again.
They found her shoes before the tunnel,
but nobody dare walk in them.
Nobody followed her path.
Nobody felt brave enough to enter the tunnel.
Nobody heard her story.
Nobody knew what she went through.
People would visit the spot where
her shoes remained and stare at them,
Puzzled.
Never understanding how she got so lost,
why she made such poor choices.
Nobody knew that the burdens
she was carrying all along
were whispering lies to her.
Bags full of snakes.
Bags full of painful memories
and harmful judgements.
Bags full of reminders of
everything lost along the way.
Bags full of taunts and torment.
Bags full of daggers she had to pull from her own back.
She was wounded.
Nobody saw because she wore a mask and a coat.
She bound herself to stop the bleeding,
so as not to alarm the masses.
Nobody ever asked.
They just envied her for her strength
and for having all of the things
that they assumed were trophies.
They  jus thought she was carrying
her winnings around to show off.
Nobody ever understood what was happening,
they just envied her smile.
Nobody ever once asked,
are you okay?
Where are you going?
What are you carrying?
Nobody cared enough to ask.
Nobody stopped her from entering the tunnel.
She wanted them to, but they never did.
She walked through the valley
of the shadow of death
and the shadow consumed her.
Alone is how she came into this town
and alone is how she left.