They'll ask me how I am and I'll say "oh, uh, alive"
(or something to that extent, a minor variation, we can talk about that later)
But Monday? Monday was good.
Mondays aren't supposed to be good, either - we've got to get up and function and actually do things and that's much harder than it sounds, but Monday was good. I gave compliments and recieved them in return and a pretty girl smiled at me.
I was told that I was loved.
For once, I wasn't anxious.

that feeling
the feeling of nothing
the way it takes over her body is like fire
she's staring down at her books
so much work to do
no motivation to do it
she gets yelled at for not working hard enough
for her grades slipping
even though
getting up in the morning is the most effort she puts in all day
the feeling worsens
she doesn't even want to listen to music
the thing that used to be her escape
is now pushed away
she sits in silence
for hours
her friends are messaging her
but there's no motivation to respond
she thinks about all the ways to make it go away
the numbness
it hurts
the yelling is getting harsh
she stays silent
she's looking down at her hands
the yelling doesn't effect her
because she doesn't feel anymore