A top at maximum power
too fast to be seen
yet the sting so real
when it finally hits

a busted up supercomputer
the circuits connecting
even after being fixed
with only electrical tape

The pursuit of happiness
a hard but possible thing
it happens at some point
like climbing a mountain

the sweat and tears I spilled
fills the inside of a cave
but that's all in the past
a mirage, only an illusion

my body shakes vigorously
filled with all the energy
to get every task done

I know I can do this
I have no limits
my mistakes forgiven
like I have repentance

This is my time
and I will take it
I will find my happiness
I promise that to myself

When I see silent weeping
I see the young boy
standing on his bed
staring three stories down
a sea of masks below
nails in the eye of each

I see the young boy's eyes
filled with red minefields
countless hours worked
countless hours abused
treated like an old computer

When I feel emotions fly
eyes like a vinyl record
I see the girl and boy
her words flying outward
a scourge of hornets
stinging the boy everywhere

I see the girl and her jar
with sorrows of others
used for baiting with lies
the tears inside for herself
to imitate crying and invoke pity

I too have a jar of tears
a jar of my own tears
from nights spent alone
living through abuse again
making the memory smaller
like it was a lanced boil

My tears become medicine
mixed hope and obstinacy
given freely from me
to provide comfort

For those once alone

I sit in my room
lights all dimmed
like a wounded man
waiting for the enemy

I hide under my bed
deep inside its lair
the boogeyman's home
provoking it to come

I hold my pillow tight
like it's a bomb code
telling myself to relax
to chill my reactor cores

As I sit, a door opens
my whole body clenches
like I have the flu

knocks at my door
rapid like a pistol
precise and unfeeling

The door swings open
wide like an elevator
and blackness comes in
filling me like a syringe

Screaming out of a dream
tears drying on my face
screaming at a brick wall
that was once a bomb shelter

The gunfire still in my ears
of words spoken months ago
empty shells on the ground
now no power left in them

Old paintings behind my bed
abandoned and yellowed memories
unchanging like food rations

I get out of my bed quickly
escaping from the visions
a reaching hand, saving me
from falling off a chair

I run to my door and grab
the handle being a lever
for the overflowing boiler

As I exit the room anxious
like an auditioning actor
I feel the sun greet me
that's when I know

Calm
my thought process free
a busy jammed highway
now free in the night

Calm
a sore headache of relief
the pain of release
the cooldown of a workout

Calm
a disgusting room
finally cleaned
the stale smell gone

Calm
the last day at a job
the relief felt of leaving
the great and awful exiting

Calm
a creaky old door
wind coming underneath
but finally welded shut
locking monsters away

Calm
a leaf after the storm
pounded but nourished
left only with silence

I am finally calm

Loneliness
an edge piece
of a giant puzzle
stuck under the couch

Loneliness
the sixteen year old cat,
too old for happiness,
that has to be put down

Loneliness
that one friend
always canceling
like a tornado drill
becoming a false alarm

Loneliness
a filled room
everyone busy
checking phones
like they're waiting
waitng for orders

Loneliness
craving attention
like it's lemon juice
too sweet in large doses

Loneliness
a flask filled
unknown substance inside
risking life with a sip
like a game of blackjack

Sun rays fill me
like a gas can
fueling my body
before the fumes catch fire

Seething scarlet spreads
venomous centipedes
tearing at my flesh
planting eggs in my back

At night the worms hatch
burrowing through tissue
like a rusty saw through bone
Spiders scratch
their legs like cheese graters
removing my skin

Finally the bugs leave
like the end of mass
leaving an ineffective husk
that can only be used

as a scarecrow