we were strings of light, glittering and sparkling and blinding the eyes of the ones on the outside
strung up together, side by side
we were gusts of air, breathing the same breath
flying over every beautiful place we could see
we drew faces in the mud
I had so much fun
we were large strokes of blue paint,
swirling around each other until we touched, bleeding into the page as one
we were canopies of insecurities
covering each other and hiding embarrassment
i'm ashamed of what we have become

behind a roadblock standstill
no one I meet could ever fulfill
take your thoughts, your actions, your words
and lay to rest at the foot of God
the future is approaching slowly
I arrive with caution
a wary understanding
and a repeatedly broken heart
this time shall be the last
as ever to gasp for air
above and below, it's a circus show
and I am the center stage.
with eyes glossed over and a malicious intent
goodbye to all the years I've spent
in doubt, in service, in pride
I'll travel alone for this ride.

I am...
wasting away, frozen in the car
picking buzzwords from common conversations
hail clinks against the windshield
a dusty melody envelops her
leftover tears seep into soles
when I could be...
wasting away in the lively sun
throwing away responsibility
as the ocean waves splash against her back
an island aria entices her
the hot pavement beneath sandy soles
where I should be...

and if you begin
to hold me each day
God bless your delusional self
I couldn't bear another way
this game that we're playing
seems more like a sin
undeniably bitter when they're
watching us play
I'm not selfish, just confident
in the wavering certainty
and someday we'll come clean
confess every lie
unless time slips away, and this
connection starts to die
no one ever suspected
no one had a clue
and now they'll never hear
the sweet story of me and you.

sloppily picking apart
dreams at night from
sad real life
feelings aside
let me in for tonight
I'm sick
you're relentless
and we're only 17

Madness wrapped itself around me
Like twisted branches on a forest tree.
Wind whistles through leaves on a dark Halloween
as my mind falls through hollow bodies.
Hollow bodies are picking at bark -
Pricking their fingers -
Awakening hummers from gentle unrest.

Leave the madness to me,
And a sacrifice will be made,
To the woman who stayed, and
Death will bind you to me.

In the general I am abiding
Recording scenarios of importance
Scheming with the nobles
To hire a switching head
It’s unsafe to continue into tomorrow
Implode before you try
A trial worth a single coin
Flares can’t cause immense pain upon
A swath of amenities foregoing change
Bringing a forceful bond.
Sometime will be worthwhile
Though not today, another mile
Will do to aid in your indoctrination, darling
The experience of a lifetime
Hopeless admiration runs deeply
Seeping into uneducated minds
Representation becomes toxic and all I want is
To see you strive for one more nod
It’s unusual to not want you
But my mind weaves mysterious trails
Through the broken lifetime - reality…
Coding your brain to the desires of a higher party
Dominate the status and ride this new wave
I’ll be stuck in a cave, resolving a memory
You have no influence on me
Boredom overflows from the outside in
I’m sick, I’m disgusted, I am injured within
Let the girl sleep, she’s lost in her dreams
Taking the drive
One image at a time
Making an accidental stop
At the house of your mother
Uneasy like no other
Fighting to be free, run away with me
Or from me, depending on
Desperate grievances that conduct an old light
Of the movement, I am fond.
Tripping on feedback
Hesitant to paint your head black
So sick of the stacks
Piling up on the table, advances unable
Common brainchilds I may lack.
A swampy movie to preoccupy
Tearing everything down

no one heard that word
I said it so quietly
as to not disappoint myself
nor upset the room.

Awakening to a senseless breath,
a breeze takes over; a simple stroke
as yesterday's misfortunes fall back into focus

One fork in the road,
a choice, I suppose
And she reminds me without fail
to treat others with ease

Yet it seems quite unfair to me
Sunlight seeps into the sheets
Despite what's been done to me
She's always right there for me

A reminder of solitude
and grandeur and grace
A stable foundation for a lowly race
to keep me on my feet
to master the art of restart

I trip on her roots just to feel
a sense of belonging, she sings to me
Appreciate the chills, the message, the thrills...
Bringing me back to myself.

My mother, my ground, my home.

You're living in a part of this heart
like a cassette I can't record over
like a tattoo I cannot remove
I'm like new. Changed, gone...
and these eyes have caught another.

When your world is taken away
At the whim of another's desire
Rest easy, sleep during the day
Don't wither when people are watching

Mind glued to the memory
Letting it float
I'll let the memory float with my mind
While I'm nailed down in bed

I still wear your sweater
It doesn't remind me of you anymore

let me feel
such a troublesome devotion

live a life so pure
no need for regrets
when I am with you

skimming a surface with help from the fortunate
along the lines of doubt I walk
settling for something, unsure of the outcome
when all is said and done, we're one

read yourself into a mood
of glory and pain, it's all the same
closed off and solitarily occupied
by the mouth of a thief, hollow and daunting

arisen like a storm
weighted by the sound
of your keys hitting the ground
with the lonely I take refuge

not your choice, I'm stuck in the middle
is it perfect or is it going to ruin me?
a well known face without a clue
give me those puppy dog eyes, you do
singled out and high above
anyone else you're thinking of

I'm stolen, I am wrecked
under a sheet of electric slurs
one tap with two strokes
heart clenches and I'm at a loss
but I want nothing more than to be yours
bad place, hollow face, mind floating in another space??
too much for me to hold on to

opening one eye at a time
thinking it will all be a dream
but I see you, you're there
and everything is real

it's irreversible, I'm already roped in
recalling memories with a grin.
this could be my favorite delusion
convincing myself that we will work
when I know
we are destined
to fall.

promulgate my spoken justifications
misinterpreting the way of the world
don't force me

creating the shape of you
all along, you cry, you do
I'm in the few
right next to who?
aloud it sounds
you can't undo

another word from all their lips
another slip right off her hips
another dream I've yet to live
it's over. it's over with

missing a hand
missing a face
don't touch me, darling
I'll fall right back
with ease to you
I know I do
I'm in your view
the color blue
taking over you
lonely and sorry
I'm busy now
don't you worry
we'll figure out how.

a number             minuses a single! number
matrices in \
                                                          your first year
CRY
with me - in the - bathroom\

nobody asked but she told
t'w'o minutes above this charm, your CharM

a cycle that lasts 172 days

com-mit! you are im-mature!
citing your source among

smarty
                   smart
smart . . .

a shadow that faded to skylines of pink

flowering
came to life on the opposite side of discretion
the air as ashy as before
crawled into skin like a puppet with force
inhabit a mold, show how much you were told

The Eye of Horus taunts
I keep within my walls...
Upon his mistress, he calls
Gory bloodlust haunts.

Secretive sanctions underground
Disguised in white-
Hold me tight-
Every passing brake light...
Keeps her highness spellbound.

my face is covered in glitters of green
pinned all our problems on a promising poser, perhaps
somebody died but we don't know who
finding security in each other
a secret hideaway where we can waste away
surrounded by friends who are eager to see you fall

you're getting way too excited, you need to ******* chill.

forget what you know, forget what you were trained to think that you want.
maybe running away is too much for you, maybe walking with me will be better.
instead of your crying, just laugh off the pain, see the world through a lens that dilutes all misfortunes.
because you'll never be the saddest.
you won't ever know what it's like to feel suffering.
you'll never be the most victimized,
so take your blessings and take your advantage, take the privilege they tell you you carry, take the good with the bad and the bad with the good because one day, alone, as you stare at the backyard, you'll wonder where your life went, where all your strength now lies.
the inevitable decay that we try so hard to ignore,
the fantasy of immortality,
hits hard like a hurricane when you don't come prepared.
so take all the hardships and the lovers and strain, lay them down or raise them up,
because life's a gift, so unwilling to be put to shame.