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100 · Oct 2018
Mood Ring Blues
Ruby Nemo Oct 2018
color shifting galaxy, and I'm ever confused
going against the grain to prove
my mind can withstand the strain
trying new things while trusting this driver
awaited! too crowded for me!
feeling obnoxious and greedy and stuck . . .
but that's not what they tell me

they say I'm in love
that I overflow with passion
the little love bugs that dance around inside
but how can that be, when I can't feel my feet?
when my legs underneath
don't align with my mind?
and the sound of my voice comes from three levels deep?
I'll tag along one more selfish time
they're on to me - gonna figure me out
and all along I've stayed hidden
10-15-18
100 · May 2019
If It Were Us
Ruby Nemo May 2019
I gave up on comfort to be with you
you could say I just wanted
to be part of your world for a day
or a lifetime, if I'm honest
if it were us on that train,
would you look at me the same?
if it were me at that place,
would you still notice my tired face?
would you love me as much,
if I told you what I believe
about life, about death, and what's in between?
I think I'm asleep - think this day is a dream.
as long as I'm here, lucid and lifeless,
there are no burdens to bear
I have no soul to impress
and no one to lay my affections upon.
04-2019
100 · Sep 2019
When You Are Weary
Ruby Nemo Sep 2019
The slight rise in my heartbeat when I consider the possibility that there could be some form of hope, somewhere.

The littlest spark of excitement, for which I am grateful, even if only for a moment.

In hearing the calls from above me,

in the light bleeding through the gaps in full trees.

Although I cannot feel it around me,

there's hope in implicit harmonies.
september 2019
100 · Jun 2018
Fuzzy Pre-OP
Ruby Nemo Jun 2018
drowned at the hand of the earth
tangled in curls
stuck outside this world
and I'd like to go home
walking the beach
not stopping to think
of the impact she has on that boy
asleep so fast
I can't even hold back
confused by the black
of the night in his past
one morning, seven more
I don't think that I can take anymore
giving up seems so easy
so simple and quick
for the day to end, one small click
don't miss you, can't need you
another soul forgotten
leave it behind and
come suffer in this bunk
06-16-18
100 · Sep 2018
romantic suicide
Ruby Nemo Sep 2018
never believed them
when they told me to steer clear
of love in this atmosphere

until the pain washed over
and I was unresponsive to the pressure of others
to have me open my mind
my heart, a sacred part of me

I never expected to fall like this
self-control is a lesson I stole
it's hidden, I can't reach it anymore

and everything goes as it should
until one day you say
some words that make my brain fray
in the best way
I'm restraining, I'm refraining

but there's not a thing in this world I can do
to stop myself from falling for you
09-24-18
99 · Jan 2020
poem
Ruby Nemo Jan 2020
she said she likes me better
when my eyes aren't faded and red
lost in the numbness
always self-induced
a feeling I hold onto for security
and adoration
I love her like she could break
though I know that not to be
hot-head, I'm a sword with a double end
she often reminds me of me
January 2020
98 · Aug 2018
sad girl's creed
Ruby Nemo Aug 2018
leaving on a sunny morning
as the people arrive
I'm out of the drive

overwhelmed and under pressure
heels overlooking a fence on the border
behind an alibi

starting fresh for the thousandth time
how could this be life-changing?
continuing the search
mastering the art of restart
no one can hold you down
or let you fly,
better than I can, my lovely

just one! I promise I'll stop!
ruining lives one voice at a time
starving for a fun night
where did my mind go?
where did the sense go?
why did my love leave,
and now how can I show?

tip toes outside my door
sensing movement
a single breath, at best

I'll meet you on the other side
where the sun never rises
and the boys never cry
I'll be there at dusk to say
things you'll forget the next day

to a place where blue is the only color
and you're always ready for another
where drinks are spilled
and love is pills
Condemned to be Freaky. 08-04-18
98 · Mar 2019
Class Act
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
seven nights are gone
for a purpose insecure
tell me what you want
and honey, I'll provide
?
98 · May 2019
Memo 002
Ruby Nemo May 2019
Today you slept in my bed for an hour.
When I tried to join you, you told me to leave you alone.
97 · Dec 2019
Facing You
Ruby Nemo Dec 2019
fingerprints on copper tin
your petals peek way from within
your walls, and I'm alive to hear
about your day
and all the different dimensions
of the man with whom you chose to stay

like a little sunflower,
I'm facing you, and all
of your distractions, and the simple
loveliness that stems from your darkest depths,
I know something you don't
november 2019
96 · Apr 2019
People-Watching
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
The shade is making me cold,
I think a headache is coming on,
drinking since I got out of bed,
How can I ever live up?

And I can't tell if it's the rock of the boat
Or the whiskey that's making me stumble

Let the lines tell you a story,
I was out too long,
I've been gone for far too long,
people-watching from the same place,

Until someone resembles you.
04-25-19
96 · Dec 2019
TMFM
Ruby Nemo Dec 2019
don't feel bad.
they don't care about you.
half of them are drugged.
I won't give up on you.
we don't need anyone.
we have each other.
when you go home, feel no pressure.
just enjoy the air!
have fun!
they'll miss you.
this is all a part of detachment.
you don't want them to get used to you!
do what you want.
stay. leave. doesn't matter.
you're already going to hurt people.
try not to hurt yourself.
you're the only one who has the power not to hurt you!
isn't that amazing?
isn't that enough?
november 2019
96 · Apr 2019
Venus Return
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
Venus returns to my heart once again
Lovers before we had the chance to be friends
As the stars rip their holes in the open night sky
So you've ripped a hole in this poor faultless soul
I've heard of your hell, but I've lived in your heaven
Call me a breathing home for your poetic projections
Let me become your burden
Let me be all your songs
When you say that it's you
But I know that it's not
I'll nurture your being and await your return
03-27-19 A little poem for my wittle steve
96 · Jun 2018
dead wish
Ruby Nemo Jun 2018
sloppily picking apart
dreams at night from
sad real life
feelings aside
let me in for tonight
I'm sick
you're relentless
and we're only 17
06-17-18
96 · Apr 2018
Timeless Illusion
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
don't be fooled by a timeless illusion
it's possible that, in the absence of culture, there is enough time to change a perspective
these rhythms make my head spin
scattered confetti in place of tired eyes
as the road swerves, not the driver
desperately praying to remove all thoughts and replace them with song
In theory, it works, but it won't ever
take my body to a permanent venue
a flowing lake overtaken by drowning flocks
96 · Dec 2019
I've Been Put To Sleep
Ruby Nemo Dec 2019
It's no surprise,
I liked life better with you,
But what can I wait for?
Let's get together,
We can form a chain.
To bind, to instrument-alize my eyes.
We can talk philosophy in dark caves,
    tinker ... tinkering ... tinkering away at my soul.
And still, I romanticize the darker moments.
What changed?
The freedom to hurt myself.
The freedom to fix myself.
And you don't know that you've reached that point,
Until you are there.
Seeing you.
Senses awakened, I found my way back home.
The only man who could ever impress me.
I'll get high and decide that this desolate life only breaks and forms bruises on innocent thighs,
Why am I in a wasteland?
Can't you hear the hummingbird's cry?
Show me all the wounds that you have acquired, every breath stolen from a throat wrapped in strong hands.
november 2019
Ruby Nemo Sep 2018
skimming a surface with help from the fortunate
along the lines of doubt I walk
settling for something, unsure of the outcome
when all is said and done, we're one

read yourself into a mood
of glory and pain, it's all the same
closed off and solitarily occupied
by the mouth of a thief, hollow and daunting

arisen like a storm
weighted by the sound
of your keys hitting the ground
with the lonely I take refuge
09-11-18
96 · Dec 2019
Nothing but my sins
Ruby Nemo Dec 2019
Remain what you are.
I'm tangled in your thoughts,
but I'd rather be alive.

I'm functioning on a new level now,
Just look at me now!
I'm never sober anymore,
because sobriety feels like a high.

I am nothing but my sins,
I am nothing but my sins.
12-02-19
95 · Apr 2018
The Mistress
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
Dark and senseless
It all seems endless
Where frozen memories abide
Entering the lives of the unborn
A patch of emotional stability
To keep her sane til night
She's clothed in white
Knowingly guilty but she tries to hide
Colored with doubt,
The memories play out
Not a single scene she remembers
94 · Jan 2019
jungle rainbows
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
pulling the most extremist parts of me
to the surface for personal use
I'll shake, I'll force a frown
but being under this control
tends to take a toll
on all the worst ideas I hold dear
I'm sick of this factory after 17 years

get high with me, you can boast
about how experienced you are when compared
to a little Catholic girl like me.

**** all the poems about feelings
waste away in your own delusion
and get into fights for the thrill of it.

and if by some strange blessing
your cigarette is too stubborn to light
toss that ***** aside, and slip
through the brilliance of jungle rainbows
and sleep in the hollows

presented through a dream.
Dream Poem 01-03-19
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
let's act like it's all okay
for I cannot thrive without you
although I am proud of who I am,
I'm sorry for not feeling the way I want to feel.

I'm sorry for not loving you anymore.

no one can fill this space you create
a cure for my loneliness
a distraction from pain
(so come back to me, come back to your girl)
I'll tell you how I feel if you provide what I need.

it's a shame you can't be perfect for me,
please just adore me like I've asked you to.
and my sobbing *** would kiss your face,
every time you muttered "goodbye."

I'll shiver with you against this cold

you laugh like you're mine, but it's just not our time
my mind has been betraying me.
my mind has a habit of betraying me.
and I still belong to you,
so teach me how to erase your memory
when I'm out of the loop on your life

and these drunken decisions haunt me in segments.

I'm hopeless for the future
and it's all because of you
deceit is a skill, and I'm willing to learn.

I'm surprised at my own indifference
when something so real becomes distant
my friends turning into strangers
my nights turning into days.

I long to dance in your world,
to feel the solemn comfort of your arms around me
but I can't seem to find the line between the good and the insane.

I've cried tears of pain in your absence
leaving me with no person to turn to

[ I've found a rebound, it feels like I'm dream-bound
a more painless route for my heart to depart
I can't bear the pain a second time around ]

hookup with a looker
I can't do it anymore
unfulfilled and out of time.
thinking meaningless things matter.
making time for purposeless friends.
I can't sleep 'cause this brain of mine is on overdrive

craving a smoke to forget you
hoping your heaven is full of debris
when I'm left to myself, that's when I'm free
and I'm star-kissed under the moon

I was in love, I was abandoned.

to be in love, to be abandoned.

to be consumed by a brand new best friend,
you've swept me off my feet, and I know you will never let go.
04-13-19.
92 · Mar 2019
Nervous Wreck
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
I've soon come to wonder
why the wind feels so cold
so I'll hold my head under
while the water rises full.

I know you are capable of harm
hand wrapped tight around my little arm
you'll have to remind me again
of all the fame you've collected, but
I know you're inclined to retract.
03-22-19
92 · Mar 2018
Meaningless
Ruby Nemo Mar 2018
all around, they surround
tossing their ballots at my face
read mine, look at me, this way...
stiffening up, I can't stay close
turn away towards myself
only one person worthy of trust
what would you think if you knew?
91 · May 2019
Wrong All Along
Ruby Nemo May 2019
let's lay down in disgust
and temporarily comfort each other's doubts
you can play with my hair,
and I'll tell you of this week's misfortunes.
[we can forget the city outside
and hide behind darkened blinds]
as the dragging day turns to night -
masking our sins to shield us from suffering.
04-2019
91 · Nov 2024
Nostalgia Bombs 1000
Ruby Nemo Nov 2024
secret refrigerator passageways leading, through narrow crawls, into over-sized bedrooms for children.. with fluffy walls.

to think of an artful life never reaching its full potential.

in my youth, I reminisced about the life I led years prior.
now, I reminisce about my youth.

days pass. mind blurs. thresholds disappear and my hometown now feels like a distant dream.
2024
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
you've abandoned your brain for a good time

too sweet for me
you're the ache in my teeth

I always seem to go back to the same songs
I always fall asleep in someone else's bed
tell me something of substance
to make up for this meaning-stripped world
04-22-19
90 · Nov 2018
See You.
Ruby Nemo Nov 2018
sweet caressing baby, so gently we arrive
like a doll your steps all align
freedom comes with age but us, dear... my rage...
binds me to this haunted home
no knowledge and no hopes to confront
an alibi, but too common to take names
disbelief riddles my head and tangles my tongue
burning spark that is growing inside
I upheld you from the beginning of our time
now sleep, and wake not
for the day is lonely as I am alone
instinct takes over and
makes a warm heart cold
11-05-18
90 · Jan 2019
Permanent Crown
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
stillness in dark, floor cold to the touch
a ceremony of sadness.

bones thin, wither, wear
where she used to call home,
a murderous affair.

her reflection impure, burn a hole in the wall

in her blood-stained white gown
she suffers, she bleeds
under her permanent crown.
01-17-19
90 · May 2019
Memo 001
Ruby Nemo May 2019
I heard you call me your princess when you thought I was sound asleep.
90 · Apr 2018
Has Been
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
There's something about your intent
That makes me question sincerity
If a grown man can fly,
Let the phantom roam freely.
It's not repeatedly beneficial
Exhaust empowers me like never before
A stain on your heart
A faithless testimony
Feet on the seat, head underwater
The future has an undeniable direction
Sympathetic stories to heal your root
Don't let me lie (to you)
The most beautiful still
Is the one the eye can't perceive
A dreary melody to relieve
04-01-18
88 · Jan 2020
Nursing your Evils
Ruby Nemo Jan 2020
let's forget about patching it up
I'd rather feel a l i v e
broken, and better than ever
as long as I burn
I'll feel close to the end, tangled,
tied to the bed
you with I would beg for something s w e e t
but instead, you don't want to expect that
I thrive in this fire, behind bars and in pain
are you too weak to set me back up on my feet?
I'm straight asking my ghost for a cup of black tea
to sleep with a stranger
share a joint in bad company
I'm starting to dig this transparency
did you ever seem to find your own sweet
release, the abuse you held onto, does it reveal itself in times inconvenient? when the real you is quiet until it's safe to breathe?
because these things I've adopted,
these interests are yours
and I can't keep nursing these evils
like they were ever my responsibilities
in the first place.
January 2020
88 · Apr 2019
Never Past Posted
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
can we stay while I articulate
and sleep under the sun
a brand new house to start again
ashamed and full of dread
I'm counting down the days

wishing my life away
?
87 · Aug 2018
Make It Out
Ruby Nemo Aug 2018
staring at an unmoving object, my head makes it leap and bounces around
to lay on the ground I'd listen to you
don't speak with your mouth but I hear it from you
dishonest and brilliant
breaking rules all for fun and I'm scorched in the sun with a man on the run
letting your guard down
staring at a wall, unsure of it's position
perception and depth fly past my eyes and I'm waiting for you to be the one in disguise
don't tease, you won't get what you want
a juvenile, a standardized woman
with her arm 'round your neck
stopping the moment I hear the early bird call
calling for me, oh please, set me free
08-08-18
86 · Mar 2019
Girl Trouble
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
Holy hallways and locked bedroom doors
Fallen into a smoke, an aroma of sin
Stand tall, wondrous teacher
Don't reveal us to God.

The temptations we succumb to
Would most under-impress.
Broken glass, I'm stuck in a mask
So desperate to breathe
So hopeful to leave
This damning place, I'm a sinner
Among pews filled with saints
A heart draped into dark seas
With no hopes of being restored

Who, then, is my Lord?
Who am I, at my core?
The trouble with angels. 03-15-19
86 · Apr 2018
Unusual Please
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
You're my annual breath of air
A staple piece framing the gallery
Where specks of past lives lay
You can be a ticket away
or leave it all for good.
You're my once in a lifetime disadvantage
The way my brain can't stay
in this world of make-pretend sympathies
You soiled my artistic incline
Until castle-high water
froze upon me
Ruby Nemo May 2019
Together in sanity.

Perceived attraction.

There is no winner in the game of echoing disappointment.
04-2019
85 · May 2019
Time Away
Ruby Nemo May 2019
she'll die without warning
withered violets in her hair
telling the story of tomorrow.

and she has been twirling eternity
for quite some time now
be aware of the eventual demise.

you're a window to the future
[you're the center of loneliness]
an imperfect depiction of a happy man
awaiting death like a match.
04-2019
85 · Jan 2020
GLITTER'S DEAD END DREAMS
Ruby Nemo Jan 2020
I'm ready to put you to sleep,
to close the casket and send you far down.
I'm feeling the effects of a love deeply lost
and my body rejects it.
I'm over the sadness that binds me together
and holds my head underwater.
As vibrantly as my heart beats for you,
and as obvious as the message of the stars,
as hopeful as you made me in times of hurt,
and as heated as the tears you cried for me,
so is the love I let float.
I'm over the hill, in clothes of my own,
in a head occupied by nothing but selfishness -
the good kind -
the kind of selfishness that makes you eager to wake up and create, to experiment, to learn and to live.
The mirror beckons me, hiding the knife in my back, and the scars on my body, and the gleam in my eye that was so delicately placed by you.
It shows me a glimpse of who I could become.
More powerful than your hold.
More loving than a lie.
More impactful than the dead-end dreams that glittered my life before.
More motivated than the girl who spent months alone, barely sober, chained to a passerby -
Too lost to respect herself.
In a sea, she was a floating flower,
Too high to feel anything.
And the more I learn, the more afraid I become for that naive girl who fell victim to a fantasy.
The devil may fly with angelic wings, but he will never catch me.
January 18, 2020
84 · Jan 2020
5:59
Ruby Nemo Jan 2020
Did you call me to show a new
Side of you
I never knew
You're coming home again
Oh, love, please come home
January 2020
84 · May 2019
The Day Beckons
Ruby Nemo May 2019
body above the clouds
I'm just passing you by
and my life is a collection of memories -
wander with me through these lifeless streets
the myth of tomorrow beckons us.
if only the roads never ended
and the music went on forever
only then can we say we're in love,
only then can we be sure.
I won't let this brain rot
and fill it with mindless thoughts -
is it too much to ask for everything you've got?
04-22-19
83 · Dec 2018
isn't it sweet?
Ruby Nemo Dec 2018
isn't it sweet living on your own feet
making your own decisions
and not having to answer to anyone?
except for the big man
when he asks of your income
and takes some away, as he pleases
but other than that, you're totally free!
isn't it great how the schools regulate
what you can and can't eat
because most other people
are addicted to sweets?
and in this all-inspiring jewel of a land
the less you have,
the more powerful you become
tracing our races all back to day one.
and the certainty of knowing
that you're living well-balanced
in a place where there are rules on the simplest of things.
it's a small price to pay for a life worth living,
and you'll never feel threatened
in this awing new world
no weapons, no lust, no verbal attacks
just you, and me, and the big man watching
in this utopia we succumbed to for personal gain
for AP Lit. 12-03-2018
83 · Feb 2018
You're Far
Ruby Nemo Feb 2018
encounter occurred too late
to make it count
speaking of different pastimes
until asking so simply
and his head fell back
he agreed and the space in between them . . .
c
l
  o
   s
    e
     r
journey at a halt
but they were just beginning
hours passed but minutes spoke loudly
connected by souls with glowing hands
that's all she needed, and her heart was his.

to her:
I wanted to move on, that's all
falling again was not part of the plan
he's everything I want
we can't make it work,
let's not attach ourselves
as soon as we grow closer, we will be ripped apart.
keep feelings inside, don't let them seep

to him:
its been a long while since my latest fall
I can remember this feeling
it is better this time,
than the last.
the hours don't matter
I'll occupy her heart, she will forever be in mine.

he asked her thoughts
she didn't have many
at a loss, but feelings so full they could overflow . . .
"I like you"
had to feel her, small touch
the faintest whisper, the gentlest rest.
ocean eyes, pulling her out into the vast scape
like a tide washing over her body

his voice was like the moment the sun sets,
the split second between light and darkness

her smile was intoxicating,
******* him in until he gasped for a simple breath

they shared their hearts
days, years even?
over too quickly to fully feel,
torn apart so viciously,
like a shattered lamp
the light went out,
and you were gone.

she still thinks about you
she still longs for your gentle rest.
although she hides it, you're the one

he still dreams of you dancing.
he remembers the nights under the sliver of the moon, holding each other until time ran out
although he has someone else, you're the one

a love that slipped through the cracks.
a life with you I'll never have.
a love that I can't fully grasp.
a family we will never experience.
but if he's happy, she will be happy, too
sometimes it's the wrong time.
or the wrong place.
maybe the stars weren't aligned.
maybe your hearts weren't pure.
maybe it's too far, too much of a stretch.
but it's most definitely a shame,
how an opportunity can be lost in the blink of an eye.
82 · May 2019
The City's Eyes
Ruby Nemo May 2019
a momentary reflection of a rainbow on the wall -
I'll get high in the morning -
[ as the night hides under daylight ]
and the stars fall (down) to earth
- filling the eyes of the helpless
- making their home in the eyes of the helpless
as the city awakens for another day
04-22-19
79 · Nov 2018
sour sweetheart
Ruby Nemo Nov 2018
hellish disease
uproar and unease
unleashed like a ghost, a goblin, a girl
her short tempered pleas
one last time left to tease
and obnoxious, insane answered calls
in shock and she's desperate
debt unpaid, prayers unanswered
heartbeat left in pain
transforms into power
the power to hold, to stand tall, to scold
allow me a moment, we'll bribe to change minds
he dumps inner struggles
on her innocent heart
creating a victim from the early start
regret claims a soul and impurifies
but somehow, so blinded, she's still mystified
take back the night, glorified life
in change, in pursuit
but all out of love
and drained of her light
11-09-2018
78 · Sep 2019
Mind to Mind
Ruby Nemo Sep 2019
Resist the shallowness that consumes you
I guess we never thought it could be you
The sky blankets gray, My Father
He is weary and distressed
I miss the sun and its selfless delight
I miss my home and the comfort of the night
I miss your arms around my little waist
I need your love, or mine will go to waste
09-04-19
78 · Oct 2018
trouble seeking babydoll
Ruby Nemo Oct 2018
the breath that transports you to places of amusement
a slim figure, with hooded eyes that seek
lying to me through his teeth, showing affection

an easy way to confuse
someone who leaves you feeling used
maybe I initiate for the sake of lost time
and the moments I'll cease to remember

I'd trade my world for another catch
of your eyes already on mine
reluctant but simultaneously obsessed with us
the more I study, the more is forgotten
the more I see you, the more the earth pushes

deadweight happiness under a sheath of promises
travel back, taste the magic of reality
that stings your tongue, symmetric with my ballad
sing softly, don't refuse
10-26-18
75 · Jan 2019
waiting for you
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
they can keep me away, but they can't keep me far
I love you so much. Hang in there.
75 · Jan 2019
went insane
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
it's this addiction that's hurting me
when I know what I want
and I can't even stop myself from
succumbing to my own twisted reality.

I'm looking for a savior
to pull me out of this eternal tunnel
and they'll say that I'm settling
and they'll say I can do better
there must be something wrong with me,
a cloud that partially blinds me,
because I just don't see it that way.

maybe I don't want a soulmate
someone I'll wear to the bone
with false promises of devotion.

maybe I'm looking for a slave
someone who will never leave me
with the hopeless desires I hold captive.

this addiction destroys all comfort
all sense of security
and removes any conscious thoughts
that I believed I still possessed.
12-21-18
75 · Jan 2019
You Have (1) New Message
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
alien on the wall
manipulate my brain
writing in encrypted code
until a stomach feels drained

numb my mouth
for no reason at all
I like the flavor, it shrinks my heart small

my love knows I'll watch
as he changes the sheets
not knowing there's an alien
so near to his feet

but I know! hell, I know
about the creature below
he's on my side
my love pays no mind.

heavy as a dead man
we'll drag you to shore
and pump your little stomach
to feed to a dolled up *****
01-08-19
74 · Mar 2019
What I Want
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
If I happen to die
Would you remember
the numbers written
On my wrist each night?
When you look at the sky,
do you see what you saw
Before me?

I'm no better
than the girls in the spotlight
Felt older, fell harder
Depicted demise
and I'm tired of listening
to the mindless small talk
With which I cannot engage
For the sake of my sanity.

I'm no less
than the women who pine
Drunk off of one small glass of red wine
When you look, do you see
What I want you to see?
03-22-19
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