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89 · Apr 2018
The Mistress
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
Dark and senseless
It all seems endless
Where frozen memories abide
Entering the lives of the unborn
A patch of emotional stability
To keep her sane til night
She's clothed in white
Knowingly guilty but she tries to hide
Colored with doubt,
The memories play out
Not a single scene she remembers
88 · Apr 2019
Venus Return
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
Venus returns to my heart once again
Lovers before we had the chance to be friends
As the stars rip their holes in the open night sky
So you've ripped a hole in this poor faultless soul
I've heard of your hell, but I've lived in your heaven
Call me a breathing home for your poetic projections
Let me become your burden
Let me be all your songs
When you say that it's you
But I know that it's not
I'll nurture your being and await your return
03-27-19 A little poem for my wittle steve
87 · Oct 2020
canopies of insecurities
Ruby Nemo Oct 2020
we were strings of light, glittering and sparkling and blinding the eyes of the ones on the outside
strung up together, side by side
we were gusts of air, breathing the same breath
flying over every beautiful place we could see
we drew faces in the mud
I had so much fun
we were large strokes of blue paint,
swirling around each other until we touched, bleeding into the page as one
we were canopies of insecurities
covering each other and hiding embarrassment
i'm ashamed of what we have become
10-15-2020
87 · Mar 2019
Class Act
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
seven nights are gone
for a purpose insecure
tell me what you want
and honey, I'll provide
?
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
let's act like it's all okay
for I cannot thrive without you
although I am proud of who I am,
I'm sorry for not feeling the way I want to feel.

I'm sorry for not loving you anymore.

no one can fill this space you create
a cure for my loneliness
a distraction from pain
(so come back to me, come back to your girl)
I'll tell you how I feel if you provide what I need.

it's a shame you can't be perfect for me,
please just adore me like I've asked you to.
and my sobbing *** would kiss your face,
every time you muttered "goodbye."

I'll shiver with you against this cold

you laugh like you're mine, but it's just not our time
my mind has been betraying me.
my mind has a habit of betraying me.
and I still belong to you,
so teach me how to erase your memory
when I'm out of the loop on your life

and these drunken decisions haunt me in segments.

I'm hopeless for the future
and it's all because of you
deceit is a skill, and I'm willing to learn.

I'm surprised at my own indifference
when something so real becomes distant
my friends turning into strangers
my nights turning into days.

I long to dance in your world,
to feel the solemn comfort of your arms around me
but I can't seem to find the line between the good and the insane.

I've cried tears of pain in your absence
leaving me with no person to turn to

[ I've found a rebound, it feels like I'm dream-bound
a more painless route for my heart to depart
I can't bear the pain a second time around ]

hookup with a looker
I can't do it anymore
unfulfilled and out of time.
thinking meaningless things matter.
making time for purposeless friends.
I can't sleep 'cause this brain of mine is on overdrive

craving a smoke to forget you
hoping your heaven is full of debris
when I'm left to myself, that's when I'm free
and I'm star-kissed under the moon

I was in love, I was abandoned.

to be in love, to be abandoned.

to be consumed by a brand new best friend,
you've swept me off my feet, and I know you will never let go.
04-13-19.
87 · May 2019
Memo 002
Ruby Nemo May 2019
Today you slept in my bed for an hour.
When I tried to join you, you told me to leave you alone.
Ruby Nemo May 2019
getting higher than I wanted to
seeing spotlights when I look at you
Today isn't fair, it just isn't fair.
Burned to the bone like I'm working in Nassau
and I'm cold and alone,
dancing with all the lights off.
I'm sick and the day's delusions replay
and I can't remember the second half of today.
As I wander, I miss you - it's never been this bad -
even at sunset, no, it's never been this bad.
And what a privilege it is, to be lively and free,
[ where friends are falling like apples from a tree ]
where each complaint doesn't take them aback,
and a drunk rant makes the whole table laugh.
come to me, darling, for now I can speak!
a hello, I love you, we're sound off to sleep!
Please enter the night, together we'll become thieves.
We'll steal all the joy from this world,
and make our home where the bad people go.
Forever in misery, our eternity rest.
There's not a place in the world that can capture my heart so **** fast.
04-2019
87 · Oct 2020
the secret of you
Ruby Nemo Oct 2020
you don't know this
i've kept it a secret
but i'm still with you,
you just never knew it.
when i'm alone, i dream us together
eyes closed, hands on my face,
holding each other so dearly.
i wish you could hear the music we make
all the duets i've created
oh, how our voices blend together so seamlessly...
i've told you things i'd never reveal
if you were standing in front of me,
if my image of you were real.
i hope you're never lonely,
but if you begin to feel you are,
simply dream me up and hold my hand,
for i am never truly far.
10-15-2020
86 · Jan 2019
Permanent Crown
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
stillness in dark, floor cold to the touch
a ceremony of sadness.

bones thin, wither, wear
where she used to call home,
a murderous affair.

her reflection impure, burn a hole in the wall

in her blood-stained white gown
she suffers, she bleeds
under her permanent crown.
01-17-19
86 · Nov 2018
See You.
Ruby Nemo Nov 2018
sweet caressing baby, so gently we arrive
like a doll your steps all align
freedom comes with age but us, dear... my rage...
binds me to this haunted home
no knowledge and no hopes to confront
an alibi, but too common to take names
disbelief riddles my head and tangles my tongue
burning spark that is growing inside
I upheld you from the beginning of our time
now sleep, and wake not
for the day is lonely as I am alone
instinct takes over and
makes a warm heart cold
11-05-18
86 · May 2019
Memo 001
Ruby Nemo May 2019
I heard you call me your princess when you thought I was sound asleep.
86 · Dec 2019
Nothing but my sins
Ruby Nemo Dec 2019
Remain what you are.
I'm tangled in your thoughts,
but I'd rather be alive.

I'm functioning on a new level now,
Just look at me now!
I'm never sober anymore,
because sobriety feels like a high.

I am nothing but my sins,
I am nothing but my sins.
12-02-19
85 · Apr 2019
Never Past Posted
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
can we stay while I articulate
and sleep under the sun
a brand new house to start again
ashamed and full of dread
I'm counting down the days

wishing my life away
?
85 · Sep 2020
the stables
Ruby Nemo Sep 2020
that night, we smelled of cigarettes and incense
comfortable in last night's clothes
tied around each other like twine
9-26-20
85 · Jan 2019
jungle rainbows
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
pulling the most extremist parts of me
to the surface for personal use
I'll shake, I'll force a frown
but being under this control
tends to take a toll
on all the worst ideas I hold dear
I'm sick of this factory after 17 years

get high with me, you can boast
about how experienced you are when compared
to a little Catholic girl like me.

**** all the poems about feelings
waste away in your own delusion
and get into fights for the thrill of it.

and if by some strange blessing
your cigarette is too stubborn to light
toss that ***** aside, and slip
through the brilliance of jungle rainbows
and sleep in the hollows

presented through a dream.
Dream Poem 01-03-19
84 · Mar 2018
Meaningless
Ruby Nemo Mar 2018
all around, they surround
tossing their ballots at my face
read mine, look at me, this way...
stiffening up, I can't stay close
turn away towards myself
only one person worthy of trust
what would you think if you knew?
83 · Apr 2020
capricorn angels
Ruby Nemo Apr 2020
i can't express in words
what i feel when the sun wakes me up
and i am left in silence, to weep, to be real
i can't think of a good way to say
how i long for an end to each day
to lie in the grass,
cup hot in my hand,
and love far on a whim out at bay
be real to me, darling
i want nothing more
than to sing, to move slowly, to dance in the leaves
something more than a star-glittered floor
and water to bathe in, just warm
i want nothing more than this feeling down deep
in a spot where we keep
the mind-kids, the memories, and every thought lost
secrets leak
4-6-2020
82 · Mar 2019
Nervous Wreck
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
I've soon come to wonder
why the wind feels so cold
so I'll hold my head under
while the water rises full.

I know you are capable of harm
hand wrapped tight around my little arm
you'll have to remind me again
of all the fame you've collected, but
I know you're inclined to retract.
03-22-19
82 · Apr 2018
Has Been
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
There's something about your intent
That makes me question sincerity
If a grown man can fly,
Let the phantom roam freely.
It's not repeatedly beneficial
Exhaust empowers me like never before
A stain on your heart
A faithless testimony
Feet on the seat, head underwater
The future has an undeniable direction
Sympathetic stories to heal your root
Don't let me lie (to you)
The most beautiful still
Is the one the eye can't perceive
A dreary melody to relieve
04-01-18
82 · Dec 2019
I've Been Put To Sleep
Ruby Nemo Dec 2019
It's no surprise,
I liked life better with you,
But what can I wait for?
Let's get together,
We can form a chain.
To bind, to instrument-alize my eyes.
We can talk philosophy in dark caves,
    tinker ... tinkering ... tinkering away at my soul.
And still, I romanticize the darker moments.
What changed?
The freedom to hurt myself.
The freedom to fix myself.
And you don't know that you've reached that point,
Until you are there.
Seeing you.
Senses awakened, I found my way back home.
The only man who could ever impress me.
I'll get high and decide that this desolate life only breaks and forms bruises on innocent thighs,
Why am I in a wasteland?
Can't you hear the hummingbird's cry?
Show me all the wounds that you have acquired, every breath stolen from a throat wrapped in strong hands.
november 2019
82 · May 2019
Wrong All Along
Ruby Nemo May 2019
let's lay down in disgust
and temporarily comfort each other's doubts
you can play with my hair,
and I'll tell you of this week's misfortunes.
[we can forget the city outside
and hide behind darkened blinds]
as the dragging day turns to night -
masking our sins to shield us from suffering.
04-2019
Ruby Nemo Apr 2019
you've abandoned your brain for a good time

too sweet for me
you're the ache in my teeth

I always seem to go back to the same songs
I always fall asleep in someone else's bed
tell me something of substance
to make up for this meaning-stripped world
04-22-19
80 · Sep 2020
untitled; you'll know
Ruby Nemo Sep 2020
like a sudden flame
born of like ember wood
emerging from twin winds
something dead becomes alive again.
__________

I can feel your blood running through me when you get angry, wherever you may be

I think your eyes lie in my head
I think we may have morphed
melted together in heat
but I don't feel any different

do you?
9-24-20
Ruby Nemo May 2019
Together in sanity.

Perceived attraction.

There is no winner in the game of echoing disappointment.
04-2019
80 · Aug 2018
Make It Out
Ruby Nemo Aug 2018
staring at an unmoving object, my head makes it leap and bounces around
to lay on the ground I'd listen to you
don't speak with your mouth but I hear it from you
dishonest and brilliant
breaking rules all for fun and I'm scorched in the sun with a man on the run
letting your guard down
staring at a wall, unsure of it's position
perception and depth fly past my eyes and I'm waiting for you to be the one in disguise
don't tease, you won't get what you want
a juvenile, a standardized woman
with her arm 'round your neck
stopping the moment I hear the early bird call
calling for me, oh please, set me free
08-08-18
80 · Apr 2018
Unusual Please
Ruby Nemo Apr 2018
You're my annual breath of air
A staple piece framing the gallery
Where specks of past lives lay
You can be a ticket away
or leave it all for good.
You're my once in a lifetime disadvantage
The way my brain can't stay
in this world of make-pretend sympathies
You soiled my artistic incline
Until castle-high water
froze upon me
Ruby Nemo Jan 2024
reflections of street lamps on the water


the tangled seaweed below this wooden dock


I am comfortable with the distance...


but under the surface, I am lightly holding out for you
2023
78 · May 2019
Time Away
Ruby Nemo May 2019
she'll die without warning
withered violets in her hair
telling the story of tomorrow.

and she has been twirling eternity
for quite some time now
be aware of the eventual demise.

you're a window to the future
[you're the center of loneliness]
an imperfect depiction of a happy man
awaiting death like a match.
04-2019
78 · Feb 2020
You
Ruby Nemo Feb 2020
You
You are just another thing that I have to quit
77 · May 2019
The Day Beckons
Ruby Nemo May 2019
body above the clouds
I'm just passing you by
and my life is a collection of memories -
wander with me through these lifeless streets
the myth of tomorrow beckons us.
if only the roads never ended
and the music went on forever
only then can we say we're in love,
only then can we be sure.
I won't let this brain rot
and fill it with mindless thoughts -
is it too much to ask for everything you've got?
04-22-19
77 · Oct 2020
vampire's stranglehold
Ruby Nemo Oct 2020
angel of death, of deception, and time:
have you ever questioned your own mind?
have you rested in the gaps between your speech?
unwoven a ******* tangle of thoughts
to look for the special one
we seem to have forgotten?
10-03-20
76 · Oct 2020
down to the altar
Ruby Nemo Oct 2020
bring me to the water
drape your blanket over my shoulder
tell me how you love me
tell me how you're sure
bring me to the altar
light the candle of eternity for me
tell her how you're healing
tell her to be free
bring me to the coffin
lay next to me, in sinful remorse
tell me of your cruelties
tell me I'll be saved
10-15-2020
75 · Dec 2018
isn't it sweet?
Ruby Nemo Dec 2018
isn't it sweet living on your own feet
making your own decisions
and not having to answer to anyone?
except for the big man
when he asks of your income
and takes some away, as he pleases
but other than that, you're totally free!
isn't it great how the schools regulate
what you can and can't eat
because most other people
are addicted to sweets?
and in this all-inspiring jewel of a land
the less you have,
the more powerful you become
tracing our races all back to day one.
and the certainty of knowing
that you're living well-balanced
in a place where there are rules on the simplest of things.
it's a small price to pay for a life worth living,
and you'll never feel threatened
in this awing new world
no weapons, no lust, no verbal attacks
just you, and me, and the big man watching
in this utopia we succumbed to for personal gain
for AP Lit. 12-03-2018
75 · Mar 2019
Girl Trouble
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
Holy hallways and locked bedroom doors
Fallen into a smoke, an aroma of sin
Stand tall, wondrous teacher
Don't reveal us to God.

The temptations we succumb to
Would most under-impress.
Broken glass, I'm stuck in a mask
So desperate to breathe
So hopeful to leave
This damning place, I'm a sinner
Among pews filled with saints
A heart draped into dark seas
With no hopes of being restored

Who, then, is my Lord?
Who am I, at my core?
The trouble with angels. 03-15-19
75 · Jan 2020
poem
Ruby Nemo Jan 2020
she said she likes me better
when my eyes aren't faded and red
lost in the numbness
always self-induced
a feeling I hold onto for security
and adoration
I love her like she could break
though I know that not to be
hot-head, I'm a sword with a double end
she often reminds me of me
January 2020
74 · Feb 2018
You're Far
Ruby Nemo Feb 2018
encounter occurred too late
to make it count
speaking of different pastimes
until asking so simply
and his head fell back
he agreed and the space in between them . . .
c
l
  o
   s
    e
     r
journey at a halt
but they were just beginning
hours passed but minutes spoke loudly
connected by souls with glowing hands
that's all she needed, and her heart was his.

to her:
I wanted to move on, that's all
falling again was not part of the plan
he's everything I want
we can't make it work,
let's not attach ourselves
as soon as we grow closer, we will be ripped apart.
keep feelings inside, don't let them seep

to him:
its been a long while since my latest fall
I can remember this feeling
it is better this time,
than the last.
the hours don't matter
I'll occupy her heart, she will forever be in mine.

he asked her thoughts
she didn't have many
at a loss, but feelings so full they could overflow . . .
"I like you"
had to feel her, small touch
the faintest whisper, the gentlest rest.
ocean eyes, pulling her out into the vast scape
like a tide washing over her body

his voice was like the moment the sun sets,
the split second between light and darkness

her smile was intoxicating,
******* him in until he gasped for a simple breath

they shared their hearts
days, years even?
over too quickly to fully feel,
torn apart so viciously,
like a shattered lamp
the light went out,
and you were gone.

she still thinks about you
she still longs for your gentle rest.
although she hides it, you're the one

he still dreams of you dancing.
he remembers the nights under the sliver of the moon, holding each other until time ran out
although he has someone else, you're the one

a love that slipped through the cracks.
a life with you I'll never have.
a love that I can't fully grasp.
a family we will never experience.
but if he's happy, she will be happy, too
sometimes it's the wrong time.
or the wrong place.
maybe the stars weren't aligned.
maybe your hearts weren't pure.
maybe it's too far, too much of a stretch.
but it's most definitely a shame,
how an opportunity can be lost in the blink of an eye.
73 · Nov 2018
sour sweetheart
Ruby Nemo Nov 2018
hellish disease
uproar and unease
unleashed like a ghost, a goblin, a girl
her short tempered pleas
one last time left to tease
and obnoxious, insane answered calls
in shock and she's desperate
debt unpaid, prayers unanswered
heartbeat left in pain
transforms into power
the power to hold, to stand tall, to scold
allow me a moment, we'll bribe to change minds
he dumps inner struggles
on her innocent heart
creating a victim from the early start
regret claims a soul and impurifies
but somehow, so blinded, she's still mystified
take back the night, glorified life
in change, in pursuit
but all out of love
and drained of her light
11-09-2018
73 · Oct 2018
trouble seeking babydoll
Ruby Nemo Oct 2018
the breath that transports you to places of amusement
a slim figure, with hooded eyes that seek
lying to me through his teeth, showing affection

an easy way to confuse
someone who leaves you feeling used
maybe I initiate for the sake of lost time
and the moments I'll cease to remember

I'd trade my world for another catch
of your eyes already on mine
reluctant but simultaneously obsessed with us
the more I study, the more is forgotten
the more I see you, the more the earth pushes

deadweight happiness under a sheath of promises
travel back, taste the magic of reality
that stings your tongue, symmetric with my ballad
sing softly, don't refuse
10-26-18
72 · Jan 2019
You Have (1) New Message
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
alien on the wall
manipulate my brain
writing in encrypted code
until a stomach feels drained

numb my mouth
for no reason at all
I like the flavor, it shrinks my heart small

my love knows I'll watch
as he changes the sheets
not knowing there's an alien
so near to his feet

but I know! hell, I know
about the creature below
he's on my side
my love pays no mind.

heavy as a dead man
we'll drag you to shore
and pump your little stomach
to feed to a dolled up *****
01-08-19
71 · Jan 2019
purple vacation
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
I haven't felt a feeling too long
I often don't love too hard
a protective system put in place for a self-destruct personality
unravel my intuitions until they're laid to rest
rest on me, breathe on me
place your hands on me, it won't be for long

a man's gentle endeavors
to handle a fragile little lady

home is changing, a home without walls
the clock's ticking with no time left at all
there's an infinite life, an infinite time
for us to conform to each other's resiliency

an intimate friend too old to call lover
too dangerous to feel any bit safe
but tonight, as I live out my ambitions, with you in the back seat of the car I just stole, we'll drive and we'll run . . .
to another lonely town full of poisonous fun
go-kart catalysts and vulnerability
with freedom galore
and a lightning-shock sun

...
01-17-19
70 · May 2019
The City's Eyes
Ruby Nemo May 2019
a momentary reflection of a rainbow on the wall -
I'll get high in the morning -
[ as the night hides under daylight ]
and the stars fall (down) to earth
- filling the eyes of the helpless
- making their home in the eyes of the helpless
as the city awakens for another day
04-22-19
70 · Jan 2019
waiting for you
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
they can keep me away, but they can't keep me far
I love you so much. Hang in there.
Ruby Nemo Aug 2024
i will come back here for you
even if the sea disappears
i'll find you there in the dream-scape

he once said
in chair swivel dizzies
that this world was made for me
and that i wear it well

star-glittered floor
glitter-glimmers in setting cement
maintaining illusions
weighing the full commitment
current-whirling eyes
refrain. continue diffracting. sleep in soft beds. study. rescind.

you have really gone and done it, now.
is this not what you wanted?
am i not who you molded me into?
there i am, in the reflection of your bed frame.
there you are, sitting on your bed.
here we are, studying each other.
rescinding into our separate... rash follies.
our derangements match on a similar-but-different level.

cheers, together, we ruined lives
care if i take a seat?
i try so HARD to break from the HABITS THAT RUIN ME!
where do they go when i expel them?
into the air, to float up to space? do the aliens bite the insides of their cheeks, too?
or into the sea, so the critters & corals can get high, like I used to?
maybe they will crawl into the ears of my neighbors, so Tab can have "The Rug" stuck in her head all day, too.

well, well, well. here we are, in this space, together.
on the one hand, but oh... oh, on the other hand.
sign out. do me a favor, reversing your trail.
who am i to judge?
who am I to wonder.

fast asleep, you are, my love.
oh, how i wish i was sleeping next to you.
cradled in your bear's embrace.

i'll be here waiting when you fall down.
i'm watching Lost Season 3
69 · Sep 2019
Mind to Mind
Ruby Nemo Sep 2019
Resist the shallowness that consumes you
I guess we never thought it could be you
The sky blankets gray, My Father
He is weary and distressed
I miss the sun and its selfless delight
I miss my home and the comfort of the night
I miss your arms around my little waist
I need your love, or mine will go to waste
09-04-19
68 · Jun 2018
Ow, don't hurt me
Ruby Nemo Jun 2018
funny how it changes
how once, feet hurried past
minds thought no thoughts
about one another
and my sister would marvel and tell me about it
and all I saw
was the product of a stable past
and many girls I knew.
how, now, this face has been paired with a name for you
and the rumors you might have heard are true
and we know what it feels like to give
some loving attention to an otherwise dreary relationship.
as I sit outside in my chair in the sun
it's slightly funny how this thing was begun.
06-16-18
68 · Sep 2024
all my little life
Ruby Nemo Sep 2024
in this water, nothing flows.
around these parts, the shallow winds carry traces of me.

i don't want to stay behind. it's too cold back here, by myself.
i don't want to wait up. it's late and i am growing more tired by the passing minute.

behind these walls, boxes of memories i have hidden from you.
maybe i hid them from myself. either way, let's not look.

like a cup of coffee, still too hot to take a sip,
like a familiar song playing in an unfamiliar place,
like when they make an unexpected concession for you
just because they knew you'd be pleasantly surprised. full.  
it feels... well, you know.
09/11/2024
67 · Mar 2019
What I Want
Ruby Nemo Mar 2019
If I happen to die
Would you remember
the numbers written
On my wrist each night?
When you look at the sky,
do you see what you saw
Before me?

I'm no better
than the girls in the spotlight
Felt older, fell harder
Depicted demise
and I'm tired of listening
to the mindless small talk
With which I cannot engage
For the sake of my sanity.

I'm no less
than the women who pine
Drunk off of one small glass of red wine
When you look, do you see
What I want you to see?
03-22-19
65 · Jan 2019
went insane
Ruby Nemo Jan 2019
it's this addiction that's hurting me
when I know what I want
and I can't even stop myself from
succumbing to my own twisted reality.

I'm looking for a savior
to pull me out of this eternal tunnel
and they'll say that I'm settling
and they'll say I can do better
there must be something wrong with me,
a cloud that partially blinds me,
because I just don't see it that way.

maybe I don't want a soulmate
someone I'll wear to the bone
with false promises of devotion.

maybe I'm looking for a slave
someone who will never leave me
with the hopeless desires I hold captive.

this addiction destroys all comfort
all sense of security
and removes any conscious thoughts
that I believed I still possessed.
12-21-18
61 · Aug 2018
Sluts
Ruby Nemo Aug 2018
ashamed for an irritable disposition
your queen has her hand high
and you don't know what it's like
to be condemned
08-30-18
61 · Jan 2020
5:59
Ruby Nemo Jan 2020
Did you call me to show a new
Side of you
I never knew
You're coming home again
Oh, love, please come home
January 2020
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