a momentary reflection of a rainbow on the wall -
I'll get high in the morning -
[ as the night hides under daylight ]
and the stars fall (down) to earth
- filling the eyes of the helpless
- making their home in the eyes of the helpless
as the city awakens for another day

body above the clouds
I'm just passing you by
and my life is a collection of memories -
wander with me through these lifeless streets
the myth of tomorrow beckons us.
if only the roads never ended
and the music went on forever
only then can we say we're in love,
only then can we be sure.
I won't let this brain rot
and fill it with mindless thoughts -
is it too much to ask for everything you've got?

help, this man is oppressing me!
reducing me to a liver-lobe!
love me, a lobe,
like you've loved your own home.
and retract all your selfish impulses!

oh, hopeless irritation,
comfort the soles of these long-burdened feet
and ****** me in the way of a grown!

mind of an eagle, heart of a rat
confine me and wreck me in the midst of your wrath!
one early bird morning, I lightened the load
I gravitate to the older, the bold...

men ripened with time,
stole the youth from his eyes,
allow me to bring you back down...

all bruised up but I love how it looks
reminds me! rebukes me!
a shattered childhood home that consumed me!

and all along I was searching
for a dampened fantasy,
a boy you cannot dream up -
I'm clenching inside 'cause of arrogant eyes!
I'm surprised, oh,
I am so pleasantly surprised.

how would you feel,
if I brought a girl home,
a talented, young, and beautiful lady
with vicious departments and plain suffocation?
she plays the fiddle,
the fiddle plays her,
cries of discomfort muffled by dreams.

the thing that carries the children through days -
are these deadbeat and techno lovey dance tunes,
they fill painful hours of deprecating division!

help a woman!
help a needer!
fend off the crazy,
come to save the block!

I'll prepare for destruction
a semi-mutual destruction
a love worth a dollar, but that's more than I have!

alternative controls, let's delete this black hole.
let's consider confinement in this earth that we stole.

and firetrucks keep passing us,
eager to fade
fade into danger! I will keep you warm.
warm like a fire,

a blazing house fire.

he pointed out my shortcomings
saying he could sense the darkness inside of me
a woman whose life was full of shine and warm welcomes
with a family of noticeable care and support
her mind was preoccupied with dreams and desires
of creating something, something lasting and true
like a family of four
or a cozy home with a wrap-around porch
of a man with stable goals and concrete intentions
maybe she was too blind to achieve it.
he told me he knew me at heart
but I was afraid of being too open and honest
hoping to shield the world from my confusing observations and unjustified beliefs
she was the pretty girl, the one who everyone loved
and then the dreams darkened their colors
my brain got polluted with grueling ideas

gutting old women and feeding the homeless
stepping in flies to feel the disgust
scalping a man and without second thought,
she devoured his skin and with the money she bought
a considerable amount of paint to be used
on her town, to cover the crimes and abuse

and her family all left her, and life was a slate
my body was opened and laid on display
I began to sense the darkness inside me
and I pushed it to the bottom of the bowl
underneath the self-centered behaviors and opinions I know are not true
but I don't know what I believe, and I have no desire
to dig deeper, to find myself, to know my real wants or reasons for trying
she sits on the surface and underplays individuality
overplaying romance and romanticizing pain
don't let the darkness seep through your pale skin
don't let the hurt soak into your blood because it will taint your beloved purity
he loved the deeper parts of her small broken soul
he gave her the future, the house and the home
I don't know
who I need to be
to fulfill the ache that consumes me
to give him all that he needs
in a lover, a friend, a tempting woman with complicated reflections
on daily things that happen to me.
I'm here for free, but she's taking over me,
designing habits that I never could foresee
...

I have an urge to let tears soak into my face
I have this strange feeling
Within my weak bones
I'm loved, but somehow
The world pushes against me
I'll fall asleep early,        Forget You.

I have an urge to throw up, post-dinner face
Alone, not a bathroom
Your Hollywood ransom

My connection to the world below
Is less than slightly sufficient

Oh, the things I would do not to feel!

The lengths I would go to release
The weight on my heels
Unveil your pretty glow . . .