Ruby Nemo

Ruby Nemo Jan 2019

he lets her win every fight
with a smile like bribery
she knows she's unsafe
he seems to think so
they're hopeless,
they know they will
end up laying it all on the table someday
walk away, if she wants to be free

each secret like a surgery
each one cuts a little deeper
each one raises uncertainty
but he knows they'll come out the other side
they'll be stronger than they were
becoming vulnerable to her
unveil the darkest side of each other
and she'll fall a little deeper
for each small discovery
pulls her closer to you

12-29-18

Ruby Nemo Jan 2019

went insane

it's this addiction that's hurting me
when I know what I want
and I can't even stop myself from
succumbing to my own twisted reality.

I'm looking for a savior
to pull me out of this eternal tunnel
and they'll say that I'm settling
and they'll say I can do better
there must be something wrong with me,
a cloud that partially blinds me,
because I just don't see it that way.

maybe I don't want a soulmate
someone I'll wear to the bone
with false promises of devotion.

maybe I'm looking for a slave
someone who will never leave me
with the hopeless desires I hold captive.

this addiction destroys all comfort
all sense of security
and removes any conscious thoughts
that I believed I still possessed.

12-21-18

Ruby Nemo Jan 2019

dark passion

and if you begin
to hold me each day
God bless your delusional self
I couldn't bear another way
this game that we're playing
seems more like a sin
undeniably bitter when they're
watching us play
I'm not selfish, just confident
in the wavering certainty
and someday we'll come clean
confess every lie
unless time slips away, and this
connection starts to die
no one ever suspected
no one had a clue
and now they'll never hear
the sweet story of me and you.

12-21-18

Ruby Nemo Jan 2019

Until I Dream of You

and I'll stay asleep until I dream of you
or until you decide to
speak to me like you used to
I don't want to lose you
so I'll stay asleep until reality bends
and we'll make amends
among the clouds

I'll blame myself repeatedly
until you show me how to be
more like you
I'd like to be more like you

I'll hate myself for things I've done
but baby, believe me
you are the only one
the only one

I'll force myself to sleep all day
until the pain goes away
the sun and the moon interchange
not really, for me, it's all the same
everyday, everything's all the same
you made me complete
I tore us apart
I'll slip into darkness to fight my heart.

12-30-18

Ruby Nemo Jan 2019

As Long As We Stay

someday we will be able to uncover all the hopeless needs of our deeper selves, as one... together, we fall into a sea of curiosity. I don't know for sure what lies underneath, but as long as our hands are intertwined and thoughts aligned, I'll trust. we're living a double life, as innocent and sacred behavior masks the reprehensible scandals. but as long as we stay, keep secrets far away, take this one day by day, together we will pray we can last as long as time.

12-25-18

Ruby Nemo Jan 2019

poem

coming up with ways
for us to be close
finding little moments for us
to be alone
your nurturing care saves me early
you don't know my habits
I want to learn all your thoughts
that you won't leave me lonely
or drunken or cold
savoring happiness like we know
days like these don't last
and feelings like these
don't stand a chance.

12-28-18

Ruby Nemo Dec 2018

Red Lip Personality

slyly understating
affections for secrets kept
behind darkened doors

mask the inevitable
to increase the heartbeat of a girl
souls unsweetened
it gives me a rush, I'm unable to lie
and one feeling crushes her doubt

don't pour out her generous ways
to fill her with aspirations
the filthy kind
that beg for darkness

she'll deduce and uncover
much to your dismay
a need to discover another mistake

she helps those in need
by helping herself

angelic expressions
hide brutal intentions.

12-15-18