You taught me to cry
He teaches me to love.

The gods take pity
For the world is burning
By our own causation
The fabric of our means
Disintegrating at our feet
Flames growing down in the depths
Consuming all and leaving none
Slowly but quickly
Awareness met with ignorance
As death of day brings life
Birth of the demons
Beckoning and calling
More, more, and more
Feeding the system
And feeding off the fear
Not knowing when or where
The fires source
No warmth, just ice
Leave a wasteland behind
In its path
Devoid of life
The gods
They cry
Because we know why.

I told you I was hurt
Bleeding on the inside
I told you I was lost
In the middle of my life
There's times I stayed alive for you
There's times I would have died for you
There's times it didn't matter at all

Will you help find the right way up
Or let me take the wrong way down
Will you straighten me out or make me take the long way around
I took the low road in
I'll take the high road out
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without

Standing in the dark
I can see your shadow
You're the only light
That's breaking through the window
There's times I stayed alive for you
There's times I would have died for you
There's times it didn't matter at all

Will you help find the right way up
Or let me take the wrong way down
Will you straighten me out or make me take the long way around
I took the low road in
I'll take the high road out
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without

Well I'm not gonna give it away
Not gonna let it go just to wake up someday
Gone, gone
The worst part is looking back and knowing that
I was wrong

Help me find the right way up
Or let me take the wrong way down
Will you straighten me out
Or make me take the long way around
I took the low road in
I'll take the high road out
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without
I'll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can't live without

The droning bass
the big piano swells
Like the swells of my heart
Growing
GROWing
GROWING
Like my affection for you once did....

Flitting of keys
High and piercing
Sweet dissonance
Minor seconds...the major sevenths
Coming together in sweet cacophony
Just as our bodies once did....

The warmth of the chords
Sending sweet chills through me
Making me close my eyes to enjoy
The music entirely
My body surrendered to music
Just as it once did to you....

Now it's just my music
The swells
The dissonance
The warmth
That is what love is
So I shall make love to music
I shall make it mine
I shall love and be loved
Just as it once was us...

The crazy comes
The crazy goes
When does it begin?
Nobody knows.

I'm sorry I'm crazy
I'm sorry I lose control
It's like a ticking time bomb
I never know when it's going to blow
Until it does and I cry
And I scream and you try to hide
I'm going to drive you away
It'll be my fault that we leave this place
And that makes me crazier
Because I don't know what to do
Because I'm trying to keep cool
I'm just so tired of dealing with it
Sometimes I wish I could die, too
Just to make it stop
No more tear filled days
No more fearful nights
No more wondering if today will be the day
Just make the pain go away
For everyone around me
I know they see
But, I can't help it
When it takes the best of me
Never knowing when or why
Until the last string is pulled
Then it's do or die
And sometimes I wish it were the latter
Because just when I think I can't get much sadder
I'm proven wrong
I feel the pain and guilt
I wish I had never been built
Because who wants this?

The crazy comes
The crazy goes
When it'll end
Nobody knows.

If only you dream
When you dream you think of me
Only a theory.

A love without logic
A dangerous thing
But, when done correctly
Beauty, it could bring.

When one ignores logic
Do they have a brain?
Forget about her
All she did was bring you pain.

The pain of the past
It makes us fear the rest
Some are different than those
Some will only give you the best.

She will if you let her
Give you all of her world
For she has little to live for
A new life, you unfurl.

She'll be the bullet to your gun
She'll be the sword to your shield
She'll give you everything and more
But, not when you yield...

Young and in love
Just all shaken up
What happened to love?
What happened to us?

I know your habits
I know your ways
I could map out your life
For days and days.

That's why I sit here
Watching our show
You know which one
Two shows right in a row.

The one from the one night
You know the one, right?
How could you forget
It was your favorite yet.

So I sit and I watch
Wondering if you are, too
It wasn't too long ago
But, things change...they do.

Are we laughing at the same jokes?
Watching the same show?
We could be and I hope
Now I laugh and sigh
Oh my...

My sadness is neither beautiful
Nor poetic
But, if I weave these words
Twist and turn them
Maybe I could fool
Not only you but, myself
Maybe these words will help me smile
When I am not feeling well
Because it is oh so hard to do so
Though few fully understand
Even those I love
They understand what they can
I can't blame them
I know that I can't
So, am I to blame myself?
I really don't think I can.

My loneliness and my sadness
My tears and my screams
Do not think them more beautiful
Than the nighttime sea
Nor think them more poetic
Than the most famous poetry
Because as much as I can weave these words
It doesn't change what they really are
I can twist and turn but, I can't deter
These feelings, forever to occur.

Looking out the window pane
The sky crying, "it's all the same"
Tears of life
Showing you're alive
Tap at the window, the tears of the sky
Crying for you and I
Sky sees all and does not like
The pain and the misery cause by all
It cries and cries hoping to see
Some kind of difference, waiting futilely
Hoping to wash away
The pains of yesterday
The ignorance of today
Instead it seems
Tears are to spread around
What is meant to be gone
"Look up and see my pain for you"
The sky pleads day after day
Left on deaf ears
The sky cries more
The sky sees all
The killing and the pain
The wrongdoings and the cheating
"Look up and see, for killing there is no need"
Blind eyes can't see
Falls on deaf ears, the sky's desperate pleas.

The rush of air
And the glimpse of gold
Shimmering light
In stories of old...
Not here, not there
But, everywhere
The sounds the sights
All rushing in air
With the sound of the music
Be careful, don't lose it...
Just let it settle in
Relax
Now breathe in and begin
In and out of time
Swaying with the melody
You are not you
We are not us
I am not me
I am one with the sound
I am the air in the atmosphere
Clouding and shimmering
How much do I dare?
Push and pull
But, always settle...
Tell the tales of old
The shimmering lights of gold
In the eyes of the people
In the eyes of the world
Show them the sights
And open their eyes
Show them how bright the starry nights can shine
With mystical, whimsical lines and rhymes and chimes
Listen to the wind...
Carry the sound and let the sound carry you
Because you are not you
You are the sound.

Like the sun and the moon
With stars that kiss the surface
Never touching
But, always admiring
Living to see the other rise each day
But, never getting close enough
To kiss the moonlight with the rays
Never letting the moonlight bathe
Live for the mere existence
Never touching and always looking
Settling for the starlight that shines
But, even that doesn't touch
While I have darkness
You have blue skies
But, even that just doesn't feel so right
Because blue skies mean nothing without your baby
And the dark serenity doesn't mean a thing without my love
But, every once in a while on a cloudy day
While the clouds pour and rain
You may come to bask me in your rays
I may steal a kiss or more
But, only until the clouds go away
Then it's back to yesterday
And we'll settle for blue skies and starlight.

I saw the end
No light in sight
Then you did the unthinkable
You kissed me and held me tight.

I knew things were wrong
I wanted to make them right
You saw in my eyes
My worries and fright.

I've tested the strength
Never again shall I question
The love that we share
Or how much you care.

I thought you were gone
When I told you the truth
I knew you would hate it
I thought you would run.

Far away
without looking back
Forgetting my name
But you stayed.

I saw the end
No light in sight
Then you did the unthinkable
You kissed me and held me tight.

I'm sorry I'm a little bit upset
In my heart I have kept
All this worry and this pain
'Cause when I tell you
All you make me feel
Is guilt and hurt
Like I can't tell you
My heart and my soul
Without words to be told
At me
I tell you how I feel
You tell me it's wrong
That's why I'm writing this song
Because you tell me to cry
And by God, do I try
To you I am melancholy
"If you're gonna be that way
you won't see me"
You want me to show emotion
But then you say that
Through text nonetheless
I can't see you're jokin
Be careful with words
Some don't understand
I am the one
Sometimes I don't understand
I'm so confused
When you tell me these things
I'm leaving tomorrow
I'm sorry I'm blue
I just can't stand the fact
I won't be seeing you
You make me smile that smile
And cry a good cry
You make me so happy
It's hard to change
I can be happy alone
But, why should I when I have you?
It's a lot on your shoulders
But, I got a lot, too.

The moonlight dances on your skin
And I melt within
The beauty that radiates
It must be a sin
From the top of your head
To the tips of your toes
This beauty that no one knows.

Laying naked in my bed
There are no words that can be said
To accurately catch your beauty
From the tips of your toes
To the top of your head.

Long flowing hair cascades in waves
Across the pillows, tickling my face
Your porcelain skin glowing with the moon
Your moonlit kissed eyes glowing and seeing right through me
Into the darkest corners of my mind
And loving every corner.

Those perfect pink lips
That so many times have kissed mine
Soft and supple
Leaving me breathless every time
Along with those big brown eyes
That see through me every time.

The landscape of your body
Should be the eighth wonder of the world
For it's fluidity and wonder never cease to amaze
From the gentle ***** of your shoulders
Leading to your delicate but strong arms
To the ***** of your *******
Two hills of decadent perfection
The curve of your back
So soft and so sweet
With the curves of your hips
So tantalizing to me
Leading to your legs
Legs that go on for days
Your legs and your curves...
Enough to drive anyone crazy.

The beauty of your exterior
Seems terribly inferior
When compared to your inner
The beauty of your soul and your mind
So kind and so caring
But, also, just a little bit daring
And the darkest corners of your mind
They're much more beautiful than mine
And how someone like you could love someone like me
Well, it has to be destiny
How else could you explain it
Someone so perfect and beautiful
Loving someone so broken and a little dull
But, such is life
I'm just glad that you're here tonight.

When something so precious
Becomes so hard to find
It's amazing the things people will do
When pushed to the limit
Of needing the necessities
When there is not such thing as niceties.

Land that's barren and dry
No civilization for miles and miles
There are no such thing as smiles
Just brutality and killing and stealing
It seems there's no longer such thing as feeling.

In this land of crazy there's one who can help
They call him "The Warrior"
There's no doubt he's as crazy as the rest
But, maybe, just maybe he's a little different at best
He's done great things and helped the many
Maybe if we had more warriors
Maybe, just maybe, people could rest.

Money is tight and things don't feel right
But, I'm still grateful for what I have
No matter how little or tiny
The laptop I'm on
It's really my mom's
But, she gave it to me when mine went down
I'm grateful for her
What she does everyday
And the time I try to comfort her
She pushes away
Crying in the kitchen
I don't know what to say
I don't know how to let her know
That everything is going to be okay
This Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas
Though I have everything I want
I can't give the things to her
To stop the tears from coming
Just another day in this house
I wouldn't have it any other way
But, once this day is over
Will we look back and say, "hey"
Something is out of place
And we gotta put it back together
Fit the pieces inside
I don't know what else to say
So I'll end it this way
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night.

Open up
Face your fear
Lose it.

Lose yourself
Cherish someone
Lose the fear.

Trust yourself
Trust him
Trust her.

Be their's
Be your's
Be mine.

This feeling
This new feeling
What is it?

What is it about this
That puzzles me so
Intriguing





Intimacy.

Each day the distance seems greater
For I am here and you are there
I just wish you knew how much I cared
And how I wish I could be there
This love stuff is a fickle thing
Made even harder by the distance that it brings
Though it is hard, some things I know are true
I love your smile, I love your hair, and I love you
Those things will never change
My love for you will remain the same
Because without you, my world is dark
And I’m going home from a party with some guy named Mark
Then we have a one-night stand
And I know it’s only because I liked his band
Except, they weren’t that good, I was just drunk
Thank God it was him on top; he hit his head on the top bunk
The ***, it ******, he couldn’t get it up
He just passed out after he peed in a cup
He thought it was great so at least he was happy
I was left to pass out on the couch and feel rather ******
Then it’d be the morning after
And he’d be thinking “Why’d I nail her”
And I’d be thinking “I’m such a *****”
Then he’d walk out the door
And I’d be left here just wanting a hug
That’s when I’d wish I had a pug
Which I think is a rather cute dog
But, some people would rather look at a hog
Now look what I’ve done here
This poem was supposed to be real and now it’s just silly
And now I just lost my rhyme scheme
Looks like I’ve ruined it completely
I guess I could just start again
That would require me to pick up a pen
Even though I’m typing right now
I wish I could end this with a pow
So, I’ll go back to my original lines
I wish you could be mine
Because I care about you a lot
Without you I want not
These things will remain true
I love your smile, I love your hair, and I love you

Coming home,
I thought it'd be different this time
No more bedtime cries late at night
Lonely days be gone
I thought they were
Maybe its just that expectations are skewed.

You have your life
Do you know you have mine?
Without you, and numbed mind
I sit and I write
I sit and I cry
I sit and I stare at the walls until I die.

Boredom it is called
Ordinary form, it is not
Not with these memories on the walls
Intricate frames, look into the image
Watch as it plays scenes of the past
Each wall is covered
You'll be entertained for hours.

Hours and hours go by
Three months time
One question remains
Will I make it alive?

Seeping through the cracks
Of all the tragedies since passed
You will find me there
Not knowing when or where
Curled up beside myself
Reaching for that thing on the shelf
Of which I cannot remember
The mind is weak and tender
See your silhouette in shadow
My breathing quick and shallow
Seeping through the cracks you see
Oh this very broken me
Lying across the room so bare
Wishing I just wouldn't care
My body twisted, naked on the floor
Too bad you can't find the door
My eyes they wander towards you there
Not feeling anything but scared
I see the silhouette is gone
I fear my last breath I have drawn
But, then with such a deafening sound
I feel something hit the ground
My eyes grow small in the bright white light
And I can't believe the sight
You come to carry me away
Now I'll see the light of day
You pick me up and hold me tightly
Until my spirit begins to burn brightly
My feet are weak but, they carry me
With you by my side, now a we
Lifting me up with open arms
Making me smile with your charm
Seeping through the cracks you'll no longer find
The girl who was laying there blind

At times I feel so tiny
My 260 lbs, 5'11 frame feels so small
That I could fit into your pocket
Or possibly just the palm of your hand
For you to carry me around and hold me safe.

At times I feel so small and feeble
That with my next step I will trip and stumble
Under the weight of the air around me
Claustrophobic but, wanting nothing more
Than to be wrapped tightly in a blanket
With a comforting arm around me
To make me warm again
And maybe make me feel something other than the air around me.

Tiny like a fawn pitted against an 18 wheeler truck
Just standing there, wide-eyed, knowing what will happen
But, paralyzed with fear
Because that fawn has never seen anything so menacing
With bright white eyes piercing the dark and cold metal waiting to hit
But, still, too scared to make a move.

At times I feel so tiny
But, I'm so big.

In regards to happiness
To be or not to be
I choose the former
Rather than the latter.

So long happiness eluded
Now a ray of light, no longer secluded
From those with smiles
It's worth all my while.

With a smile on my face
No longer just a case
To remove in the privacy of home
No longer looking for somewhere to roam
When things get rough
Because I know I'm tough
And you give me the strength
The confidence to use my voice
The courage to no longer settle for less
To be happy and strive for the best
Because I lost it
And now we've found it.

To be or not to be
That is the question
In regards to happiness
It is not question at all
Because who would choose the latter?
Especially over the former?
With so many smiles and laughs
Against so many tears and cries
Sensibility, common sense
It leads me to believe about the latter
That there needs to be
But, it will never last
Because the former is that much nicer.

In regards to my happiness
To be or not to be...
Is not a question.

Too many front row seats at funerals
Too many tears shed over bodies
Too many cold hands help in hopes to feel warmth
Too many goodbyes that can't be helped.

It's a sad day when there are too many
When siblings realize
And kin begin to visualize
A day without their mother
A day without their brother
Too many, I say
Too many.

Too many sorrow and not enough joys
It seems, these days are numbered
Numbered and riddled with sadness
With the occasional laugh and smile
It seems, at least these days...
There are too many.

So much death
Not enough life
So many tears
Not enough smiles
The things they say happen for a reason
But, why? We've done no treason
Lately, not enough sun
To shine through the dark clouds
It's like everything is shrouded
By memories both good and bad
You can't help to feel sad
Because lately
There's been too much death
And not enough life.

You can try to change empty words
Into promises of other worlds
But, your efforts are futile.

Pangs of jealousy
Twinges of regret
Pulsing anger running red through my veins

The distant look in the eyes
The ache of the heart so heavy
It could sink out of one's chest

Like a punch in the gut
The news always is
The truth of the matter
What one never wants to hear...

It is not truth which sets us free
Handling the truth is key

When all those fairy tales go away
What else will there be left to say
No more lie wrought "I love you"'s
Just us two, left to sing the blues.

What happened to the old days
When the mere sight took your breath away
What I thought I'd never lose
Now a broken heart must be soothed.

If only we could have chosen
Two hearts remain unbroken
Now this bed is like a trap
Though so close, between us is a gap.

What we had was beautiful
How could we make it work, so dysfunctional
Now you've chosen
One heart remains unbroken.

The days grow long
The nights grow longer
Things get tough but,
When I look at you...

Tears I shed
One after another
Life gets hard
This gets even harder
But, when I look at you...

In bed I cry
Fight after fight
But, when I look at you...
If it wasn't for you...

Fast motion time
Slow motion life
So much to do
So little time
Stress after stress
So much to address
But, when I look at you...

I don't even have to look at you
When I think about you...
It all goes away.

This is when the tears start to fall
When I've started giving it my all
**** it
I just want to say
That I love you anyway
But these problems we've made
Are they here to stay?
Both of us say no
Tell me it isn't so
Because now I'm in it to win it
And we're the prize
Lord knows that I'm trying
And now I can't think through the tears
It feels like I'm dying
Between the stress of this mess and home
This started out for you
But now I don't know who
I can't find the lines to read between
All the riddles and hiding
Even today, I was trying
To read the riddles and to pry the pain
Because, baby, things ain't the same
I may have hid but, now I'm back
Now you can't hide and expect me not to crack
I just want to move forward from this pain
Because, I'm tellin you, I ain't the same
No more upper-hand
My words are plain...
Lord help us if you forget my name...
And I can't think through these tears
Because I'm afraid
That now I've gone and laid everything out
Torn my heart out of my chest and gave it to you...
I can't think through these tears...
Because I love you.
I almost told you good bye
But, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't all a lie
Because I'd do anything to see you stop crying
I'd go to the edge of the earth to see you smile
I'd walk to you right now if I had time
But, we both know that just wouldn't be right
But, if I had my car, I would have been there last night
Because...though we both said that we'd get better
I can still see the end in sight
The end sounds so bitter and we both know it ain't right.
This is harder than I ever thought...
But, my heart, you have caught...
You can let it go whenever
Just give me some warning before you sever...
You say you're worried about me crushing you
But, it's you who can do the crushing, boo boo.
I can't think through these tears...
Each tear feels like acid going down my cheek
And maybe it's just me being weak
I just miss you so much
If we were together things would be better
And we wouldn't have to write these love letters
Because we'd look into each others' eyes
And that's where nothing can hide.
I don't know where I'm going with this
Now I'm just left longing for your kiss
Because then we would know
How much we could grow.

Hour long phone calls
Up late at night
Trying hard to find
An answer in sight
Seeking the warmth
Another to adore
But, never will try
For they will always have love
Together they'll try
The rules, they'll defy
Day by day
Waiting and waiting
For an end in sight
To all this craziness, right
Late night dreams
And day time tears
Ears to listen
Hands want to hold
But, not near enough
So the phone it does rest
Upon my chest
Hoping my heartbeat you'll hear
Though you aren't near
These hour long calls
I'm hearing you now
As I hold back the tears
Because we are not near

I try to hide my pain with humor
Cuz' I think the pain will end sooner
Rather than later but,
All the pain is doin is sittin and festerin
Cuz' the only person I'm fooling is myself
And even I'm not totally convinced
So just stop this ****.
Let it out and let it breathe
Because that's all you need
Don't be scared to be free
Of the pain and insanity
Of every day to day worry and fear
Those are what got you here.
So, let them go and live your life
Give it a second try
Because you have too much to give up now
Go ahead and make that vow
To get serious now
Because you're still young
But, youth doesn't last
Make the most of it before it's past.

Each night it creeps on
The yearning growing stronger
Until I'm not there.

These tears won't stop coming
It's been days and days
I'm drowning
My carpet is wet
The bed is soaked
My eyes are red
Not much can be said
For this sad state I'm in
And yes that's a pun
For I am very sad
Very sad, indeed.

I'm stranded alone
In this strange place I called home
No longer familiar
As still as a stone
But, I need to roam
To the place I feel at home
With you and the others
Not here by myself.

It's the hardships
That make us stronger
And make us appreciate
The times when you don't need to be strong
And all of those hardships...
Disappear
Like they never even happened at all
No memory at all
Of those things that made you so strong
But, those times when the front comes down
That facade drops
And it's just you
You and that person
The walls come down and you're real again
But, just at that point
Of comfort and happiness
That's when shots will be fired
And without walls how can you protect yourself?

When life gets tough
You have to get tougher.

With every new twist in the road
Comes a new wall built up
A wall trying to shield from the pain.

With every loss life gives
Comes a new smile
Not a real one
But, one to hide behind.

With every new wall built around you
A little piece of you dies
A little piece of you is hidden.

As you hide behind wall after wall
You become lost.

This is the problem.

Lost in yourself.

Hiding behind the smile of pain.

Wall.

After.

Wall.

How can I find myself hiding behind these walls?

Strapless and lace
That's what I thought it'd be
It wasn't just a dream
I really thought that was me
With the done up hair
With a bouquet of roses
I thought that was me.

White picket fences
Children in the yard
Cooking breakfast and dinner
For all of us, three
With that picture perfect life
I thought that was me.

But, forget about that
I remind you of the wedding dress
That I won't be able to wear
Because it has your name on it
The wedding dress
The engagement that could never be salvaged
Not that I want it...anymore
It's just a pity
That poor wedding dress
Will never be worn
Because it's meant for me
But, still has your name on it.

What do you do when the words won't come?
When all that seems to show are the tears?
The tears that come for absolutely nothing
But, feel like absolutely everything?
The tears that make you stay in bed
The tears that make you lose friends
Because you just can't do it.

What do you do when you can't see the reason?
Even when there are so many reasons to see.
Is it lack of comprehension or just lack of sight?
Blind to the reasons because of the dark
Frantically searching for a light to show the warmth
A light to dry the tears that come from nothing
To get me out of bed.

Just what do you do?
What do you do when life doesn't seem like a life?
What do you do when singing a sad song doesn't work?
When putting a smile on becomes such a chore?
When holding back tears through the day makes your throat sore?
What do you do when you don't want to do it anymore?

What do you take for granted?

The illiterate
Unable to read
Unable to write
Communication is dead

What do you take for granted?

The blind
Unable to see the world around
Seeing beauty inside
But, never out.

What do you take for granted?

The deaf
Music is gone
Voices are nothing
Never knowing sound

What do you take for granted?

The mute
A voice that is lost
No singing that song
Vocal expression...gone

What do you take for granted?

The roof over your head
Shelter from the rain
A place to lay your head
Shelter from the pain

What do you take for granted?

Loved ones
The ones there for you
Helping you through
Without...you are alone

What do you take for granted?

The beauty of life
Everything.

What do you take for granted?

The illiterate
Unable to read
Unable to write
Communication is dead

What do you take for granted?

The blind
Unable to see the world around
Seeing beauty inside
But, never out.

What do you take for granted?

The deaf
Music is gone
Voices are nothing
Never knowing sound

What do you take for granted?

The mute
A voice that is lost
No singing that song
Vocal expression...gone

What do you take for granted?

The roof over your head
Shelter from the rain
A place to lay your head
Shelter from the pain

What do you take for granted?

Loved ones
The ones there for you
Helping you through
Without...you are alone

What do you take for granted?

The beauty of life
Everything.

My morning goes as such:
I take a shower
I brush my teeth
I comb my hair
And have nothing to eat
I sit with a mirror and stare at my face
So many imperfections that I try to pluck away
I squeeze into jeans and look at my ****
I don’t like the way it looks but, I guess I’m out of luck
Now time for the hair which I dry and I brush
Then I **** it with my straight iron until it looks good
Then the make-up goes on until my face is away
I try not to look fake, I wonder what you’d say
My lashes get long and my face gets bronzed
Now I stand in the mirror and I ask myself “What went wrong?”
Why is this me?
My stomach sticks out
My thighs too big
Too much muscle, it’s like I’m a man
Standing in the mirror I move and I shift
To the right, to the left, Why is it like this?
Every day, every night, every time I see in a mirror
I see myself as this
The ugly one
The odd one
The one that’ll never fit
The one that’s too fat
She looks like a man
She tries to be pretty
Clearly she fails
So, I find myself, standing in the mirror
Tears in my eyes, my face bronzed
What went wrong?

Rekindled flame
Red embers burning bright
No longer stagnate
Red embers of soul
Burning through
Showing to those who couldn't see
Never again
Make the blind see when the mute speaks
Make the deaf hear
Make the ignorant learn the words the mute speaks
No longer silent screams waiting in futility to be heard
The blind shall see the embers of soul
Speak on deafened ears no more
The mute speaks
False hope no more
Following for happiness no more
The mute speaks
Ramblings
on..
on..
and on..
The day the mute speaks
Listen
For there is much to say
Much to hear
Much to see
The day the mute speaks
Is the day the deaf hear and the blind see
The embers of soul burning bright within
All thanks to rekindled flame
Speak, Mute
Speak

Where am I going?
How am I doing?
Two questions that have no definite answer
In my world of definites
The pain of not knowing
The indescribable uncertainty of future
And the painful truths of the past
And the undeniably unstable quakes of the present
Racked with uncertainty
Thought spinning and whirling
Around
Around
And around my mind
Making me dizzy
Sick with thought
Stricken by fear
Until there's nothing to do but fall down.

When down on the ground
Where is there to go but up?
Be content with the cold hard ground
Or rise up to your knees
Baby steps
The road to recovery
Gravity fights and tries to knock you back down
The floor starts to look a little better
It pulls you down
Temptations arise
They won't be the reason for my demise
Back on my feet is where I'll be
Give it time
Where will I be?
How will I be?
We'll have to wait and see.

Vision blurs
Mind goes blank
Knees weak
Hands are sweaty
What is it that I'm about to do?
Sell away my soul in this sad attempt
An attempt to make my life better
One must suffer to know happiness
Well I have suffered
Stomach churns
Mouth goes dry
What is it that I'm about to do?
What am I doing with my life?
Why must one live to die?

Why did I let you be the one
To ruin all of those love songs?

Why did I let myself
Fall so madly in love with you
When I knew things wouldn't be?

Why did I let it get this bad?
Now I can't listen to a single tune
Without getting sad.

Why did I let you be my passion?
Now it's struggling to live.

Why did I let you control me?
I lived my life around you.
Do you know that?

Why did I let you give me so much
When I knew it would just get taken away?

Why did I let you be the one?
Because I was in love with you.

Do you ever just wonder
Why you are the way you are
I wonder every day
Why I do what I do
Why I am what I am
Why I lack what I lack
Why I have what I have
One answer
Plain and clear
Why I am who I am
Is because
You are who you are.

What makes a weeping willow weep?
For it is beautiful
That is plain to see
So what makes the willow weep?
Luscious green leaves
Draping ever so carefully
Down to tickle the grass
Wind blowing through the branches
Like the longest hair
That would make Rapunzel green
So why does the willow weep?
The willow with cascading leaves
A waterfall of green
Creating a beautiful getaway
Behind its falling leaves
Why does the willow weep?
Creatures they scurry
To and from that green curtain
Frolicking and dancing among the green
Little children play little games
Hiding behind the leaves
A lovers first kiss
Hidden in the privacy of the willow tree
Why does the willow weep?
With beauty surpassing
And gratefulness overflowing
Why does the willow still weep?

When you write
Will you still think of me?

When you sing
Will you still think of me?

When I write
Will I still think of you?

When I struggle
Will I still think of you?

Have you found her?
Have I found him?

You won't think of me when you sing
And I won't think of you when I write
What once used to be one
Has become two.

Two for the better


Don't think of me when you sing
Just don't forget
As I won't.

You'll think of her
I'll think of him



He'll think of me.

Without you I just feel so alive
Now wait before you start jumping to conclusions
I'm not meaning to cause pollution
Between you and I
I just mean to thank you
I've felt more in a month that I have in a lifetime
This is too real for a rhyme
My eyes have been opened
Though nearly killing me my heart is here
And my voice along with it
Never to be silenced again
Never to be hidden again
Through the monsters of my own imagination
No longer through degradation
My spirit is free
From myself
All along I had the key
Without you I feel so alive
I hate the feelings
But I love being alive
A feeling I will never fear again
Because being alive is what I have in the end
When I'm down on my luck
The hope I have is here to stay
And the hope is real
One day again it will be "we"
I just need to be alive without you
So I can be alive with you
And I thank you
And I love you
For what you have given us
I feel so painfully, wonderfully alive.

I’m driving down the highway
After we said goodbye
My foot pushin on the gas
I’m tryin not to cry

I look up to the horizon
And see the setting sun
My thoughts all on you, dear
Because I’ll miss you so much

I’m drivin away from you today
I can’t look back or I’ll turn away
I never want to leave you
I want to be beside you
Forever holding you
But I gotta go
Yeah, I gotta go
But, you know
It won’t be for long

I’m tryin to hold it together
But its no use
I’m lookin at the cars through blurry eyes
Those eyes are seein nothing but you

The day turns to night and I’m still driving
Driving away from you

I’m drivin away from you today
I can’t look back or I’ll turn away
I never want to leave you
I wanna be beside you
Forever holding you
But I gotta go
Yeah, I gotta go
But, you know baby
It won’t be for long

I push on the gas
I’m here at last
But still without you

Walk in my house
But its not home
My home is where you are
And you aren’t here
But, you know baby
It won’t be for long
Soon you’ll be here
And I’ll be there
We’ll be together again
Forever at last
But, baby, just for now
It won’t be long