I like to get dolled up with no place to go
Make myself look so pretty
Dressed in dreams of New York City
Walking the streets so chic
With you on my shoulder
Because you will always make the lights a bit brighter
And the sounds a little louder.

I like to get dolled up with no place to go
No friends around except the ones that I roll
Can't say that I don't miss it
Yet I can't say that I do
But right now I feel pretty
Dressed in these dreams of New York City.

The only thing holding us together
Is each other.

The hope that you'll be there when the day ends
To hold and to kiss until the world ends.

The hope that after the dreary school day
After the miserable work night
That we'll be there together at the end.

The world always seems better when  you aren't alone
Because then it isn't just you holding you together
The burden is split
And though, sometimes it may not seem like a lot
It really is the world
And it really is everything.

The only thing holding us together is each other.

With you                              Without you
Forever waiting                       Forever lonely
You’re my world                                  Do I have anything?
I made you everything                          Maybe I was wrong
It’s so hard                                         It’s so hard.
                                           Either way
                Tears will be shed
                 Pain is to come
                   Either way
                   It’s so hard.

Love or leave
Either way
You've made my life better.

Shallow, quick breaths
Cold sweat drips from the brow
The four walls are a cage
And I'm never let out.

I can run but, it always finds me
Hunts me down until I can't run anymore
Corners me in this room
It is predator
I am prey.

Haven't felt safe in years
Not outside forces but, within
Fear has grown and grown
Longing to feel comfort once again.

Days of smiles are long since gone
Tears seem here to stay
Hazy sadness and crazy days
When will it go away?

Ten page paper
Orchestral Excerpt Jury
Music History
Sight Singing exam
Practice piano
Piano final
Make revisions
Evaluate
Drink coffee
Cry
Get drunk
Try the ten page paper again
Take some advil to get through the jury
Try to wake up in time to get to 8am Music History
Hope to not get a sore throat for singing exam
Piano piano piano piano
What were we talking about in religion?
What am I doing my paper on?
When's it due?
Music. Music. Music. Music.
Cry.  
Cry some more.
Get **** done.

The words want to flow
But, so many poems in a row
I made a promise, not only to you
But, to myself
The subject matter at hand
I'll only say what I can
So that I can grow
The words cannot flow.

Yeah run that same game
It's always my fault
It's always me
When you'd talk me down
And I'd feel so small
You'd say it was my turn
But, I couldn't talk at all
You disgust me, too
You *******, you *****
But, I hope you're happy
Because hate isn't worth it
You'll be runnin that game
With the next girl you play
And I hope she sees it
Can look passed the game
Maybe you need a black chick
Maybe whats her name?
You played the victim the entire time
Now it's my time to shine
If I said I hope you die
I'd be lying
You don't deserve that much of my time
So hate me all you want
See if I care
But hate is more than I could stand to give you
I've done more in the passed day
Than I have in a month
And for that I thank you
For letting me go
So I could see how low we've become
But, I'm climbing again
And I'll say I'm much better
And if I see you around
I'll just smile and wave
Because to you, I am no longer bound.

Driving through the country side
Windows rolled down
Music blaring
This is the good life.

Like the moon sitting high in the sky
Your beauty does shine
Like the sun shining bringing a new day
Your warmth radiates through me
With every breath I take
And every move you make
I know you are mine

Like the moon and the tides
It’s like you and I
One without the other
Would make anyone shudder
Our hearts are intertwined
Our love aging like fine wine
Without a doubt I know you are mine

And the tides they will shift
But every day will still seem like a gift
And I know we will cry
But I’ll always be by your side
So here’s to love, my dear
Here’s to love without a fear
Without a fear, for you are mine

With you by my side
Anything could be mine
My love, can’t you see
Forever we will be
Here’s to love, my dear
Love without a fear
For you are forever mine

Something different
Something sudden
I was caught by surprise
By those, oh so stunning eyes
I said hi
You said hello.
My little kitty
Vowing to forever stand by me
As friend, maybe more
Kitty, thank you for caring about me
Maybe you can help me see
For the second first time
Help me pick up the pieces of my mind
As you so vowed to do
Because you know the hurt
And you could desert
But, I'm just guarded and scared
My heart is just tired
And it's me you want to admire
It's just such a crazy notion
That some of your beauty and style
Might notice little old me
With the pudge and the baggage
But, here you are patiently waiting
And helping me pick up the pieces of my life
Maybe one day I could call you my wife
One meeting could make a lifetime
Some things I can't help but take as a sign
But, only time will let us see
I was just so surprised
When you said hello
And I said hi.

All the Burning truths
All the burning lies
Which ones do you hide behind?

Oh darling,
Your love I could not doubt
Gleaming eye and tender touch
Gentle kiss and loving voice
Knowing I am yours
That is what's nice.

Loving someone is grand
But, knowing you love me back
You love me like no one else can
Though miles apart
By your love I am still touched
That is what's grand.

With every word he speaks
Taking my breath away
His embrace wrapping me with warmth
Keeping me safe
Protecting me from harm.

It's his love I've longed for
So long I've wandered searching
Waiting for a love like this
Not only loving
But, having love in return.

Oh darling,
Your love I could not doubt
Gleaming eye and tender touch
Gentle kiss and loving voice
Knowing I am yours
That is what's nice.

Loving someone is grand
But, knowing you love me back
You love me like no one else can
Though miles apart
By your love I am still touched
That is what's grand.

With every word he speaks
Taking my breath away
His embrace wrapping me with warmth
Keeping me safe
Protecting me from harm.

It's his love I've longed for
So long I've wandered searching
Waiting for a love like this
Not only loving
But, having love in return.

Home
There’s no place like home
What is home?
The place you grew up
A building filled with memories
Is home a town?
Or is it just simply a noun?
Home is neither town nor place
Home is a feeling
Home is that special feeling in your heart
That feeling of comfort
A warm safe place like that of a child in a mother’s arms
A lover’s embrace ending with a kiss that says it all
No, home is not a place
Home is where you are and where I will always be
Home is by the sea
The feeling of waves against pale skin
The sun licking the face with its warm gentle rays
With wind-blown hair
That is home
Curled up in bed with a warm blanket and a good book
Listening to soft music in the dim candlelight
That is home
Home is excitement riddled with comfort
Home is happiness
Home is love
Home is music
Home is yours
Home is theirs
Home is that one person that knows you better than you know yourself
Home is having a shoulder to cry on
A warm meal at the end of a long day
What is home?
Home just is.

If I could travel through time
Like a melody lost in the wind
I would travel the world
Seeing the sights that most only dream of
I would see it all
But, it'd be nothing
Without you.

If I could travel through time
Like a melody lost in the wind
I would find my way back home...
Back home to you
Back home where my heart resides
Safe in yours.

If I could travel through time
Like a melody lost in the wind
I would set my sights to happiness
And fly to you, love
If I could...I would.

Not ideally planned
But under the circumstances
You’re with me and I am with you

And the life we thought we knew
Is slowly changing, too
Is it what we’re dreaming of?

You and I
We’re together
Me and you
Yeah its forever
Through the thick and the thin the young and the old
I’ll be with you through it all
Through the sickness and health I’ll be with you through it all

Day after day I just cannot wait
To see you
This feeling grows and it grows until it explodes
Inside my heart
Day after day I just sit here and wait to see you
Now tell me, darling
Is what we’re dreaming of?

You and I
We’re together
Me and you
Yeah its forever
Through the thick and the thin the young and the old
I’ll be with you through it all
Through the sickness and health I’ll be with you through it all

I’ll be loving you until the night is through
Inside your head
You make me feel a way I’ve never felt before
I’ve never felt you before
You’re the one I’m dreamin of
The only one I’m thinking of

I’m thinkin about
You and I
Together
Me and you
Yeah, forever

You and I
We’re together
Me and you
Yeah its forever
Through the thick and the thin the young and the old
I’ll be with you through it all
Through the sickness and health I’ll be with you through it all
I’ll be with you through it all

There was so many words not spoken
Between you and me
Before you left it could have been
You said you’d be back
But that’s not to be
I know my thoughts are getting to you
Some way or another, I know they are
There’s still that one connection
The little thread between dream and reality
I can feel it
If only I could see you one last time
To tell you those three words that mean the most
The only three we haven’t said
I wish I could feel your arms around me one last time
I know that can’t be
I just wish that you knew
That I love you

this is the first outing since you

Since "we" became and "you" and "I"

And I was terrified

But, it went alright.

Butterflies formed in my gut

But, not the kind you used to give

A different kind

A new kind

A kind that I could get used to.

I watched his face as he talked

I observed his mannerisms

And probably looked like a creep

But, for an instance, I could not recall yours.

We watched a movie and he laughed

A loud laugh that was contagious

A deep, full laugh

That was so different from what I've heard before.

I was awkward

And he was nice

We talked

And it was nice.

I apologized for being awkward

He said it was alright

He asked what I'm writing

I said "Nothing special"

I think I lied.

Not that I'm in love

But, now a bit less afraid

Like a weight lifted

Who knew fear weighed so much?

So what am I writing?

Just jotting down some thoughts

...Possibly

But...nothing special?

I might have lied.

What words can I make this poem say
When I just want to tell you I miss you
I've told you time and time again
And there's not much else to say
But, I'm still writing anyway
I miss your smile
I miss your eyes
I miss everything all the time
I miss your touch
I miss your kiss
With you, everything is bliss.

Have I mentioned that I miss you?
Because, baby, I really do
I miss the **** out of you.

Stillness in the air
Just the sound of your breath breathing next to mine
The soundtrack of the mind
In that moment...
In that moment, I knew we were infinite
In that dingy parking lot
City lights dimly lit
Sky clouded over with the haze we once had
Now clear and bright
In that moment, I knew we were infinite
In that moment, we kissed
In that kiss, lying just within
I knew we were infinite
Just then, not too long ago
I knew we were infinite
My ear to your beating heart
Like a sea shell...listening to my own heart
Beat by beat, as it were
In that moment, I knew we were infinite
Not just for that moment
Not just for tonight but, for life
In this moment...
In this moment, I know we are infinite.

You want me to...?
I guess I...
Maybe I....
Can I...
Really?
What if...
I don't know about this...
Maybe I'll think...
What if it does...
What if it doesn't...
Is it right?
What if it isn't...
What if it is...
I don't know...
Can you help...
I can't...
Maybe...
What if...
I think...
I don't think so...
You do it...
Can you...
Please...
I'm nervous...
Help...
I don't know...
Maybe...

You're holding the gun
And I'm pulling the trigger
I'll shoot us both

I never thought this day would come
The day I write something like this about you
The day the words creep into my head
It’s over
Is it over?

We used to be so perfect
Despite everything, it was perfection
But, nothing is every perfect…
That’s what I’m finding out

I never thought the happiness would fade
I guess I was wrong
You say you’re happy but…
How could you be happy?

I wish I knew what to do
About me and you

I thought we were indestructible
We’ve been through so much
And we’d be through so much more
Through it all we’d triumph and love
Through it all…

I love you, do not forget that
The tears that fall from my eyes are yours
I wish you could see….

It isn’t a matter of love anymore
It’s the situation
Two perfectly imperfect people thrown together
Under a very imperfect situation
A situation that…I can’t

I can’t…
I….

Is it over?

I miss the way things used to be
The way things were
Between you and me
Things have just gotten harder
And I just can't see
Is it you
Or is it me?
So down I've been
Feeling so hurt and sore
I've come to you for comfort
Like I always have
But you pin it back on me
Making me feel worse
"That doesn't sound like him"
My good friend has said
I agree
It sounds like someone else instead.
I can't see
Is it you or is it me?
"I give up" you said
That phrase hasn't left my head
Since you've said it
A part of me gave up as well
If you truly mean it
I can't believe it.
Is it you or is it me?
Perhaps it is both
A reaction to an action
Just over and over
Reacting and reacting
A volatile reaction
Only made worst by time
If you'd only react differently
Say a different word
If I'd only do differently
Then surely we could be
Is it you or is it me?
So afraid I'll drive you away
I can't keep on crying alone
Night after night
Fight after fight
It takes it's toll.
What happened to the rest?
What happened to the words we said?
Always talking love
Always talking passion
Have we forgotten?
Some say passion must die
To replace it with the mundane
I refuse.
Until our dying day my love will be passionate
And I will fight with passion
Without passion it just doesn't seem worth it
Where did our passion go?
Where did the words of our beauty go?
Where did the words of our undying love disappear to?
No longer is there late night talks
Of our future and love
Few and far between are the looks of longing
Look into each others' eyes and peer deep
See the person you fell in love with
And fall in love with them all over again
Remember the love
And remember that it's still there.
I miss the way things were
And I know you do, too
Between you and me.

Its leaving time
Time to walk into those four walls
Strip down and climb into bed
I wonder
Is this what you do?

Lay in bed and turn to my side
Staring at the wall
But, all I see is you
Your eyes staring back at me
Smiling
Reminding me that you're near.

Hugging my pillow
But, all I feel is you
The warmth from your skin
The rise and fall of your chest
Our legs intertwined
Comfort redefined.

I hear the fan blowing
Over the sound of your breathing
Who would have thought I'd come to like the sound
Of snoring so loud?

I can't help but to wonder
Is this what you do?
The helpless longing for my love
Just to be here again.

Ever feel that feeling
Where you're at, you don't belong
But you're forced into calling it your home?

Ever feel that feeling
Every single move you make
It's being watched and everything you say
Is being used against you?

Ever feel that feeling
It's just the same thing over and over
Never getting any closer
To the solution at hand
And you just don't know about your plan?

Ever feel that feeling
Getting ******* at daily by your man
Telling you one thing
But not making you understand
Feeling lower and lower
Till one day you won't be able to stand?

Ever feel that feeling
It's never him, it's always you
Picked apart at the seems
Until he's making you bleed
"Is he really right
Or is he just manipulating me?"
All I know is that it's always me.

It's the holiday season
Christmas eve to be exact
I'm sitting at home with a cat in my lap
The television is on
A Christmas special
What else is on?

**, **, **!
Says the santa on TV
Trying to spread joy and cheer
I smile a little then look over at you
Eyes glazed over, nursing a beer
Tears begin to well
I turn away
Who knows how you'd act if you saw my face.

I look out the window at all the snow I see
Wondering what is exactly out there for me
Standing up, I grab my coat
"Where you goin?" he slurs, a hiccup in his throat
With no response I go
Right out the door

It's a little bit chilly
But, I do not mind
Walking down the New York streets
On Christmas Eve night
The street lamps are on and I can see all around
The houses lit up
They truly are homes

The family cozied up
All around the tree
Ornaments and lights
Tinsel and beads
I stop and I stare
If they saw me, I wouldn't care
The family inside
Oh, how nice it would be

I keep walking, my head held down
Thinking about the joy of the families around
I can't help thinking
Somehow....I missed out.

I walk down the street
Down to the local park
It's where we first met
But, things are different now
Sitting on a bench, I take in the scene
Freshly laid snow, not tainted by feet.

A couple comes by and I close my eyes
They're just like we were
Walking so late at night
Hand in hand
Kisses galore
Giggles and laughs
It brings them back

We used to have that
A love so true
Now I'm wondering what happened to you
I never thought this is the way it'd be
Afraid to come home
Afraid of what you might do to me

It's time to go home
How nice it'd be to walk the other way
My feet move reluctantly against my will
Leading my home
Leading me back to you

I walk in the door
You're nowhere to be found
I see a note on the couch
It reads "You're better alone"
I hear you upstairs as I walk in the room
"I thought you'd be longer"
You're there, packing a bag
Both of us look down, tears in our eyes
How can we salvage all of these lies?

You come to me and I flinch for a second
Until you look at me, soft and warm
A tear runs down and you wipe it away
I can't look at you, I just wish you'd get out of my face
"I know things have changed"
You're getting choked up now
I've never seen you cry
It's about **** time

You sit on the bed
Your head in your hands
"I want to change back
Please give me another chance
I'm getting some help
Please take me back"
You're in tears now
Pleading in your eyes
I know you had prepared to say our last goodbye

You're eyes
They don't lie
I know you're genuine inside
I walk to you, cradling your head to my chest
"My darling, it's Christmas Eve night"
You look up at me, sadness in your eyes
I say "This night can be salvaged, break open the wine".

It’s been five weeks since you’ve left me here
Stranded and bound by my own fear
Now, honey, I know you meant no harm
But, look at what you’ve done to me now

Oh, look at what you’ve done to me
I’m hurt and I’m cryin and I’m just tryin
To get back home to you
But, baby, it’s so hard when you push and I pull
We can’t seem to get anywhere, No
I can’t seem to get out of here

Cause I’m stuck in this place
Left without a trace of you
I’m locked inside my world
Can’t seem to find the key
Help me out
Someone please just help me out of here
…just help me out of here

My dear, I love you
But, I should have known
That our love was like an hourglass tipped on its side
Not flowing or growing or coming or going
Just there, and how boring is that
Baby, oh now I want more

I gave and I gave till I was breaking
It was always me, the one who was caving
And every time I cried you told me that it’d “be okay”
Well, it’s not okay

We were given one heart to find another
So take mine, dear, I can be your other
You can be mine, until the end of time
I'll be yours.

Don't hurt it now
Keep it safe in hand
Right next to yours, that's where it'll be forever more
Right next to me, that's where you'll be forever more.

I'm happy now
I didn't think
Without you
I could be
Happy.

Now I smile
A real smile
I wonder
Did you do that to me?

Our life we planned
Was never meant
Our fairy tale
Come to an end

So dry your tears
And make believe
Because all that we ever were
Just a dream.

So rest your head
Dream again
Because that's all I ever was
Just a dream.

Two naked bodies entwined,
getting lost in time.

Reflecting upon each other
Soaking up the warmth from their bodies
Warm and damp from their Love.

Breath slowing from the rapid pace,
Bodies relaxing from their tense state.

Like an animal after their prey we pounced.

Devouring each other.
Devouring until our hunger for one another was satiated
Our thirst for lust quenched.

Our hand roamed
Our bodies merged
Our voices rose

Becoming one in the throws of passion
Now becoming one reflecting on shared Love.

Now you lay me down to sleep
My soul, you will surely keep
Along with my heart right next to yours
You could never fathom ripping them apart
One in the same
Living side by side, day by day
Night by night
My, my, what a sight.

Now I lay you down to sleep
Your heart, I will forever keep
Next to mine as we lay
Now and forever
Until the end of days
Even after  your heart will stay
Forever with mine
This I will always pray.

Now we are laying down to sleep
All of our secrets we will keep
I tell you mine and you tell me yours
The darkest ones that I will always adore
And cherish until the bitter end
We will forever call each other friend
The very best, along with lover
And soon wife and husband
With so much more world to discover.

Now we dream our very sweet dreams
Of our future together, just you and me
Along with our friends and family
We will forever be as happy as can be
Because I have you and you have me
So, don't worry dear
The end is not near, nor does it exist
Troubles will come, but, do not fear
Together we'll plan and we'll make it through
To the whole world, we will prove
And show them the world
For they do not know
When they look at us
We'll always put on a show
Now rest your head down now
And sleep your sweet dreams
And in the morning you'll wake
And I'll be next to you and you'll be next to me.

Waking up the morning after
Not a Sunday
But, a Wednesday
Waking up the morning after
My baby leaves
Waking up with a hangover
From love
Take away the headaches
No getting sick
Add the tears
And add the sadness, dear
There's no pill to swallow
So, just sit and wallow
And try to get through
Cling to the memories
That have been shared over time
The wonderful memories
That bring tears to your eyes
Trying to function is less than easy
Trying to keep going knowing you're so far
It's less than easy

Dear Mother...


Dear Father...


Dear Husband...

Dear Friend...

These are the letters I'll never send.


My love, this is how I feel...
Why...?
How could you...?
This is the end...
Letters I'll never send.

Everyone has them
You know you do
The deepest thoughts
Vibrating deep within needing escape
These are letters never sent.

Erased
Ripped
Deleted
Never read again
Never sent.

Dear Mother...
Dear Father...
Dear Husband...
Dear Friend...





I just hit send.

As the sun sets

My body I lay to rest

After years of pain

I lay it all to rest

I rest the hatred and the demise

The jealousy and the pain

Rest now dears

Rest now so the sun can shine

And feed the gardens of my life

Let the sun set on the pain

So on my life, the sun can rise.

I fall in and out of reality
Every day could be a different dimension
Depending on my mind
And what it chooses to hide in illusion.

Life/Love is like a dream
Flying up high in the sky
Never to come down.

Notes on the page dance
Like tiny ballerinas
In their frilly skirts
Their posture so straight
Dancing and twirling
Not letting me catch them.

Forever spinning
From the top to the bottom
Of my mind and the page
Never settling to let me see
What music they're meant to be.

The man in the hat always stares
The man in the hat is always there
The man in the hat holds the key
Under his hat, no one can see
Everyone is looking at me
The man in the hat is there
Can't you see?

Here in a pinch and gone in a flash
How long are these supposed to last?
Who knew it was this late?
I always lose track when I hallucinate.

Am I crazy or are you?
Keep staring, it's nothing new
But, have you seen the man in the hat?

No one ever sees the man in the hat
But, on my bedside he sat
Plain as day, clear as crystal
He sat there by my side

They say a sickness and I say a blessing
Someone there is all I've needed
And now the man in the hat is here
I am well now, my dear.
Nothing left to fear
My man in the hat is here.

In my head
In my bed
When I'm laying alone
Wondering if I'm in yours
And it hurts me to my core
The fact that I still miss you
And I still want to kiss you
But as time will pass
I'm sure this can't last
Right?
You're neither friend nor foe
I don't know what you are, though
I believe you are something
Ironically
Something not logical
And temperamental in nature
A ticking time bomb of sorts
Just waiting till the fuse burns
And everything bursts
At the seams of the heart
And everything will rip apart
Then come together with such synchrony
That it'll be a little bit scary
But, I don't fret
Because I know I'm better than that
When laying in my bed
Welcoming the feeling
But dreading the presence
Of the image of your face
That I once held so dear
But, I no longer fear
Because I am better than late night romps in your car
And trying to touch something that is so far
Away from me and through with me
But, you are not my enemy
These problems are beneath me
Because I deserve more than a lack of trust
And asking for a massage...was that too much?
I forgave you, yes
But, that doesn't change this mess
Now I'm sober and over
This mess that we left
I'm cleaning myself up and dusting myself off
Because I may have faltered
But, I will always get back up
And in time we'll both see
That you're wrong about me
No logic, only emotion
Well, you can't have a beach without an ocean
But, that's over now and I won't let myself settle for rejection
In this circumstance I won't be it's subjection
I'll only be it's objection
Because I won't stick around where I'm not wanted
And maybe soon I won't be haunted
By you in my head
And in my bed
And maybe soon I won't wonder if I'm in yours
Because soon I'll know that I'm in mine.

The moments fleeting away
Opportunities sinking
Down to the bottom of life
Drinking the ruins of love
Into the gullet of luck
Pouring down the surface
Bubbling over the cracks
Given by so many in the past
Seeping into the skin of the reckless
Making peace if only for this instance
Bringing happiness to the endowed
If only for this moment
The world was truly round
Things were known in this world
Everything was found
Ignorance ceased
Higher truth the deeper it went
Never to forget
Deserving of another
Deserved of nothing
Forgotten truths and hidden lies
Seeing this moment for the first time
Molding the cracks of hurts since passed
Repairing the scratches of self destruction at last
The moments swirling in time
Opportunities forever more lay in hand
Giving peace to those who can

Little girl
So shy and scared
Why can't you see there's nothing there.

Under your bed and in the closet
The monsters you say are there
The monsters that have you so scared.

Run and hide in your mind
The thing causing you this fear
For the monsters were never there.

The monsters of your mind
Nothing to fear you will find
To the corners of your mind the monster will be confined.

One day you'll know
The things the world has to show
The one day where you grow.

The monsters in your mind will always be easy to find
Monsters that take many forms and all kinds
Doubts and insecurities messing with your mind.

Monsters are never hard to find.

Music to me
Only comparable to
Oxygen for you
My love
My life
My every breath
Every thought could not exist
If not for my music
Hear it
See it
Feel it
Course through my body
Like blood through your veins
Let it take me away
To a far away place
Only music can
When my heart is racing
And I cannot breathe
It is Music who can save me
To Music, I thank thee
For everything you've done
For saving me
I'd be out on the streets
A lost cause
With nothing to believe
Drugs by day
******* by night
With  no hope in sight
To my Savior
My Salvation
I thank thee
For saving me.

I feel the need for the words to pour
Yesterday was rough
Today I'm sore
But, I live to see another day
Of my life.

You say this is a mistake
Yeah, it could be
But, it's mine to make
I make my own mistakes
In my life.

This time it's rough
And yeah, I may have ****** up
But, everyone does it now and again
It isn't the end of the world
I'm not ruining my life.

I'm already ******* myself
I punish myself when I mess up
What makes you think this is any different?
This isn't a walk in the park for me
I evaluate my life.

I may not have a plan
How can I when this is so unpredictable?
But, I'll try my hardest to make something of myself
If it takes getting a 9 to 5 job, so be it
I will make the most of my life with the resources given.

I have friends that love and care for me
I have a family that provides and loves me
I will have people there to pick me up when I fall
If I can't get up off the ground
I appreciate the people in my life.

This is my life.

Filled with love
Consumed by hate
This is why I can't think straight.

Milky white
The skin of your *******
In the pale moonlight
Spilling across the satin sheets
Your dark hair in waves
My gaze is drawn
My breath is caught
Skin on skin
Yours so soft beneath my fingertips
A push and a pull
A breath and a moan
Eyes gleaming against the moon
Locking on to mine
The moment is quick
But, it is all that’s needed
To make you mine
And to call me yours.

Do I just blame it on ***?
Why I'm feeling all this stress
Why these tears stain my eyes
Why I lay on my bed and cry
Or is it something more
Something deep down within my core
Something following me in my life
Causing me all this strife
Is the anxiety for nothing?
The things inside the dark of my room
Making me feel gloom and doom
Whispering in my ear
"Just come with us, dear."
Listen to them, I will not
With them, I will not rot
Seeing death night by night
Can give someone an awful fright
Should I remain in fear of these apparitions?
Or should I ignore the superstitions?
Are they only in my head?
Just monsters under my bed?
Imagination of a young child
Temperament meek and mild
Shadows becoming figures in my head
The tears begin to shed
Fear faces me in every room
Please tell me I'll be leaving soon.

No.
No.
No.
No.

That's what I said
But, you never listened.

No.
No.
No.
No.

Now just left feeling violated instead.

No.

Maybe next time you'll listen
But, there won't be a next time
Never again.

The days that you are near
I can't think of anything better
Laying in my bed
Two lovers, best friends we are
Dreaming of the day
When you never have to leave
Enjoying, living for the moment
Staring into your eyes
You say the only words needed to be said
"I love you"
Whispered in my ear
"I love you, too"
Whispered back to you
We can't help but smile
Those ***** smiles of those in love
Because we are
Hopelessly, madly in love
And we'd have it no other way
Touches, kisses, words, and looks
With every one, my breath you took
Heart to heart and mind to mind
If only it could be all the time
But, we love and we care
And I would have it no other way.