Maybe we were delusional
Everyone knows we were a little dumb
But, I'd do it all again
And I still wish you the best of luck
There's only one stipulation
Which I know that you won't mind
There will never be a final goodbye
At any time for you and I
You told me I'd see the coast
And I'm gonna hold you to it
Because I knew we both meant forever
But, the times just weren't right
Two different places and two different people
Found each other at the wrong place and the wrong time
But, it was the perfect time
A time to show hope and bring some smiles
Because we were both in dire need
And now I guess our time is done
But, it was sure fun while it lasted.

To think it could have been over
That's a nightmare I no longer fear
To think we would have lost it all
I'm so glad you're here.

7:45pm
That’s when I got the call
I dropped the phone
I couldn’t believe it
“We have your wife”
It was the hospital
Our life flashed before my eyes as I drove
Her hair, shimmering in the sunlight
Her big brown eyes smiling at me after a hard day
Those eyes
I lost myself in them
I was never happier
Now
All that is shattered
My foot on the gas
I speed down the highway
My knuckles white against the dark wheel
My face white against my dark hair
Slamming on the breaks
Running inside
I see her
And I see the doctor
I see the look in his eye
He says the words but I can’t hear
I walk towards her
Tears in my eyes
Laying there still
Deathly still
It’s my baby
My one and only
No more shine to her hair
No more sheen to her skin
I take her in my arms and weep
Her lifeless body stiff against mine
My cries turn to screams
How could this happen?
Why her?
Why not me?
They make me leave
I sign forms
Talk to people I don’t know
It’s all a blur
My life
My love
It’s all gone
I leave
The ride home
It’s raining
My mind is numb
Shock
Walking in
I shut the door
I walk to the bedroom
I see her
Her jewelry
Her clothes
She’s here
Why isn’t she here?
She isn’t here
And never will be again
The rage builds up
My tears begin to fall once more
I wake up the next morning
The mirrors broken
Clothes everywhere
My hand is broken
But, you still aren’t here.

5 days till my baby comes again
5 days till he sweeps me off my feet
Kisses me and takes all the pain away
5 days till I feel him next to me
5 days till I feel safe again
In his arms holding me so tight.

5 days to wait so patiently
5 days of anticipation
Waiting for my baby to come back home to me
5 days cannot go by fast enough
5 days It's like they're mocking me
Each one just longer than the last.

5 days that's all I have to wait
Until my baby comes again
5 days until he's home with me
5 days till I'm home with him
In his arms and his touch
Soon, I'll be home with him.

Laying in your arms at night
Feeling so safe
All worries out of sight
The smell of your skin
Collecting between us
The rhythm of your heart
A metronome timing my sleep
Your arm wrapped tight
Our legs mingling out of sight
Under the blankets
Where we lay
With the moon shining through the window
Only memories, though
And that's good enough for now.

Just when you think the monsters are gone
They come back with a vengeance
Like never before.

They dance in your mind when you're in bed at night
Prancing and frolicking
Waiting or their chance to strike.

When the dancing stops is when their fun begins
They turn on you with those black beady eyes
******* all light from deep within.

They hit so fast it's hard to defend
Scratching and biting
Until there's no way you can contend.

Because you're bleeding and hurting
From their tiny, sharp teeth
Then back to darkness you are reverting.

It's easier to feel when you aren't being eaten alive
From those tiny little things that haunt you on the inside.

It's at night
When the memories come alive
The taste of your lips
The feel of you skin on mine
The become so alive
It makes it hard to sleep
With you laying there next to me
Because you shouldn't be there
But, you are
And I'm scared.

Accidental happenings and spun intentions
Into something so evil
The devil dare speak the words
The anger in my soul
Making Aries burn green
Fists and kicks
None hurt worse than words
Those without meaning
When strewn with guilt
And misjudgment
Creating puzzles out of clarity
And chaos out of peace
Cacophonies of noise
Disrupting the minds of those
Who the words still held meaning
To measure into the abyss.

Against all odds
I will fight for you, my dear
Against all odds
With all and nothing to fear
Just take some care
Because you're still holding my heart
And I don't think I can rip it apart
From the warmth of your grasp
But, I don't know how long that warmth will last
Feeling pathetic and worried
I just wish time would hurry
No longer on the ground
I guess that was a start
The first step in healing my wounded heart
It's hard for the stitches to hold tight
When the weight of my heart grows heavy every night
When I'm laying in bed
And it's you cradling my head
Unrequited love
The thing ancient poets have spoken of
The thing songs are made of
They make it sound so graceful
But, really, it can sometimes be hateful
When you heart gets so heavy it's sitting on the floor
No longer inside of you but, laying on the ground
For the world to see
Gathering dirt and debris
Too heavy to handle
Because it's you I'm still safe with
And that shouldn't be
You're the one who broke up with me
You should be last on my mind
But, it was you I called when I was in a bind
And I can't see that changing
Because I meant when I said
I would have said yes
Now I'm just heavy with fear
My heart, you will tear
And without even knowing
I'll bleed out right there.

The words just won't flow
Because no words could ever compare
To the beauty of your touch
And the music of your voice
In my head
In my bed
Laying next to me
Not speaking a word
But, you're all I hear
At night when we're asleep
And we're wandering in dreams
That's the way it seems
We're wandering in a dream
That happens to be reality
But, if it's a dream
Please don't wake me
Because I am so happy
To call you my best friend
To feel your comfort
To laugh when we're stupid
So hard I cry sometimes.

The words come and go
So many words and so many thoughts
It's hard to pick through them
But, my best, I will try for you
Because you deserve it
And so do I
You know what I deserve
And I know what you need
It's so crazy that I didn't believe
I never believed what I couldn't see
But, I see you
And that gives me enough belief
To renew this faith
A new lease on life
That's what we are
Happy alone
But, better together
That's what we are
And this will only get better.

Feeling the pull
With the force of gravity
On us all
But, especially on me
Pulling me towards you
Not knowing why
It's so strong
I can't deny.

Knowing each other for years
Why so suddenly now?
But, maybe I've always known
We could grow
But, I'm not ready yet
To open that door
That I know could so easily be opened
The door to our hearts
We've shared so much
And yet we know so little
Maybe one day we'll both meet in the middle.

Maybe I'm wrong
I've been known
To be wrong for so long
Before I realize what is right
But, this feeling inside
I don't know how long it'll hide.

Sick and down
But, you're there to help
Words cannot describe
This gratitude inside
It makes me want to cry
I'll never be sick alone again.

My head pounding
My palms sweating
But, you're there brushing my hair away
From my eyes so I can see
Even when I'm as sick as can be.

Half expected you to leave
While I rest and sleep
But, here you are
Calling me beautiful
Through the sweat and the bed head
Through the runny nose and the bad breath.

Take me to the doctor's
Not just handing me the keys
I'm not used to someone being good to me.

I could write an angry rant
I could sing a sad song
But, it wouldn't make any sense
Because there's nothing wrong
I've got the wind under my wings
And my salt to my pepper shakers
No more games
That ain't my name
This won't be my name
For long
Because I've long moved on
I've long been gone
Off to paradise
Where the birds are singing
And the sun never stops shining
So bright the light puts a gleam in my eye
I'm so high I bet I could touch the sky
High on life
Don't need any extracurricular activities
When I've got something life changing like theory of relativity
It makes life feel a sense of simplicity
Something I have never felt before
It's like I can soar
Through the sky and touch the stars
No longer confined to a jar
Of my own inhibition
It's time to start the ignition and say go
Leap without a care
All I'll be hitting is air
Now there's nothing wrong with me
I'm exactly where and who I'm supposed to be.

After the high leaves
There's always the crash and burn
Harder than ever.

A single tear falls
Just one
From someone who could have had it hall
A single tear is shed
Just one drop
From the eye of the woman
Who didn't come out on top
Just one tear from the eye
Of the guy who thinks he's too strong
Too strong to cry
Hide the weakness and dry your eye
He's afraid inside
Strip down the walls and bare your soul
Afraid of the world
You know its oh so cold
A tear that fell
What happened to the rest?
They're just bottled inside
Never laid to rest
Sadness festering
Turning to anger in your chest
Boiling and burning anger
Deep inside yourself
Never leaving you alone
Triggered
The hell begins
And you just bottle it up again
A single tear falls
Let it fall again
Let one turn to two
And two turn to three
You don't want to turn out like me.

Searching for something
Anything to heal this hurt I’m feeling
Forever hiding within myself
To shield my mind from all of the pain
My devotion to you has continued
It has continued for far too long
When will I learn to fly on my own?
When will I learn to leave it all behind me?

Hiding behind this smile
Are the tears of a little girl looking
Looking for something to hold onto in her time of need
Searching for the love she so desperately needs
Behind the light that emanates
There is darkness so strong and so cold
Numbing to the bone
Threatening the soul it clings to

When will I fight the fear and find the courage?
How can I find the courage to leave something I’ve known
For so long I’ve known that I need to leave
Someone come steal me away from this dark
And help me find my light
Help me say good bye to this life
Good bye to this world of pain and show me something new
Something new so I can finally breathe

Swallowed up by this hate that I’m feeling
Cannot see beyond the red that clouds my eyes
Hearing my screams you look right towards me
Only to quickly look away
Can’t you hear me?
Can’t you see the pain I’m feeling?

Hiding behind this smile
Are the tears of a little girl looking and searching
Hiding behind the light that I shine
Is a darkness so strong and so cold
What doesn’t **** me is sure to make me stronger
Its pulling me under
Someone please save me from this world

Hiding behind this smile
The tears of a little girl flow free
A little girl looking for something to hold on to

Hey you
Yeah you
The one that ran away
Did you know I was faking it
Every time I came?
Did you know your words meant nothing?
Did I know mine meant less?
Hey you
Yeah, you
Thank for being a man
Instead of telling me the truth
You just up and ran
Away from me and all my pain
Why the Hell did I help you with yours?
Did you know how much I hurt?
Did I know how much you didn’t care?
Hey you
You know who I’m talking to
There’s no need to point a finger
The blame is all on you.

When he looks at me
I can see the change within his eyes
A tenderness that no one can deny
When he utters those words
I can hear it in his voice.

When he looks at me
Its like he sees my every move
And I know there's nothing I have to prove
When he kisses my lips
I can feel it in his kiss.

When he looks at me
Now this only sometimes
There's a hunger inside his eyes
That only I can satisfy
But, that's only sometimes.

I can see it in his eyes
When they light up at my sight
I can feel it in his kiss
So tender and so swift
I can hear it in his voice
When he utters those few words
"I love you, babe"
And that's when I know that it is true.

And, baby, I love you, too.

Writing these words down here on this paper
In fear that I might waste this
Blessing I've been given
How could I just betray him
And act so selfishly?
Forgive me please
I need you here right beside me
I'm so sorry that I lied
And broke your heart
Into pieces
Betrayed your trust
Please just look at me
I'm begging you
Look at me and see the truth
I mean these words
Seems this can't get any worse
I ****** up
Now you're hurt and I have tears on my shirt
I'm at your mercy and I'm just begging
Please
Please listen to me
When I say I won't
Never again
I mean these words
Never again
Please believe it's true
I never hurt again.

It's always there
Always waiting
Always creeping
Up on you
Not letting you rest peacefully
In fear that tomorrow
Will be just the same as yesterday was
And the day before that
And the day before that
What happens when you get
So sick and so tired?
This weight that is carried
Wish could get buried
Six feet below
No heaven, no hell
Just down in the ground
Free from the sound
Of the screams and the cries
Of the dying inside
Push and pull you down under
Louder than thunder
It tells you to smile and to sit
Just see what you get
Another day with this on your back
Always fading to black
Not letting the light
Shine through to your sight
Always just black
It covers you eyes
Takes away the vision
Leaving you with aimless decision
And tear stained cheeks
Forgetting for weeks
That there's a life that you have
Making you forget who you are
Trying to hide the scars
When finally you see
The blackness is gone
Oh but not for long
Left you with destruction
Pick up the pieces and wait
For it to happen again
You know that it will
Maybe this time it will ****.

With the flash of a smile
The sly, cunning smile
And just one spoken word
In that smooth baritone timbre
He'll have you at his knees
Waiting for you to wash his feet
The great betrayer
The liar of liars
But, the one so close
To whom he hides the most
Will never see the twisted side
Of the husband to be
Because under his spell
She is blind to it all
She sees the smiles and the words
Spoken only to her.

A sin of God
One can only imagine
What one so deviant
Thinks of himself
What a silly notion
It might have remorse
Maybe a conscience underneath all the dirt
One would have to dig deep
Because no one has been there before
Some even wonder if it's there at all.

The feelings are there
The words won't come
It's like some kind of writers block.

Band-aids cover up the wounds
Like a smile hides the pain
Day to day we pray
That we won't need anymore band-aids
When we can smile and mean it
We can pray until that day
But until that day we will smile
In hope that they will be real
Because there isn't much to do
Besides struggle and fight
If we value our life
If we believe in the day
When we won't need anymore band-aids
And we can smile
But, until that day
I pray.

Bathroom floor
White tiles
Cold surface
Comfort in the strangest of places
In order to experience life
You must experience the bathroom tiles against your skin
As you tears fall onto the white surface
Until you view the bathroom lights from a different angle
You haven't experience life.

Until you've seen the inside of your toilet bowl
Because you've drank so much
Just to mask the feelings you don't want to feel
Until you can see your tears ripple the water
You haven't experienced life.

Until you've sat on the edge of your bathtub
Tapping your foot nervously on the floor
That cold white tile of your bathroom floor
Developing that friendship with your floor
Knowing the cold comfort it can give
As your tears fall to the floor
There is life.

One of those moments
When writing just isn't happening
When all you can do is quote your favorite song
When you can't come up with your own
Trying to breathe and speak
But the words catch in your throat
Behind the tears falling from your eyes
Falling at the tempo of your music
In time to the beat of your weary heart
Thinking and wondering
When the worry gets too much
And you realize you're silly
Now get over it
So your heart can move on to another beat.

When beauty is only skin deep
The beauty loses it's beauty
When you only see the outside
There is no beauty
There cannot be beauty
That is only skin deep
Being beautiful implies
Much more than meets the eye
More than that porcelain skin
And those blue eyes
Beauty is the soul
Beauty is not cold
Like some of those who are called
Beautiful.

It's another cheesy thing
There's been a lot of those
And all of them
They've been about you

I wonder if you still love me
Like I love you
Though it's different
I'm still trying to think it through

Do you think about me
As much as I think about you?
Day in and day out
I'm still trying to think it through

Best friends until the end
That, I know is true
Both of us said forever
And forever...I meant

Don't forget
The words I've said

Best friends until the end
You're stuck with me
And I'm stuck with you
I'm still trying to think it through

I know I'm not ready
I'm not ready for you to be out of my life
That...will never happen

Always on my mind
That's where you'll be
The one that got away
The one I can never have

I say with a smile on my face
Best friends until the end
That's what will be
I will love you always, my friend


My friend.

Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Ohh...

Talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
Can't find a better man
Can't find a better man
Yeah...

She loved him, yeah... she don't want to leave this way
She feeds him, yeah... that's why she'll be back again

Can't find a better man

Oh, little birdie, all dressed in white
Tap on my window tonight
For its your love I need
Come to my window, steal me away, I plead
This life is stale, what lies in store?
I feel desire burn down to my core
For more than this life, for more...

Little bird in white
Turning away from my window tonight.

I love this man
I want the whole world to know
About me and my man
About our love that has grown
Into something so sweet.
I love this man
And I ain't afraid to show it
Oh, yes, its true
I want everyone to know it
And I just wanna...aw ****
I guess the cat is outta the bag
I just love this man.

Oh, man, there's this girl
And ya know...she rocks my world
I hate to sound so cliche
But, its so true
I'm in love with you
...I mean her, man
Wanna spend as much time as I can
Just layin in her arms
I'm fallin for every charm
She's got her fingers
Wrapped right around my heart
And I love this girl.

I love this man.

I love this girl.

I love you.

I love you.

I was eight years old the day you left me
It was early in the morning, I didn’t know a thing
I remember the lights, oh so bright
They were flashing in my eyes as they came
They came and took you away

You were my best friend; I’ll say it till the end
Up until that day you were my life
We’d talk and laugh and we’d cry
Oh, I was young
And I never thought the day would come

I saw you in that hospital bed
Even though they say it was impossible
I swear you opened your eyes to look at me
But, I was so young, who knows?
It could have just been me

Life moved on after that
A lot was lost but, no one knew
Just how much was gone for me
I cried and I cried, I still do sometimes
There are some things that time won’t mend

Now I’m 18 years old, thinking back
I’ll never forget the times we’ve had
The good and the bad, it was all true
We were thick as thieves and still are
Because I know you’re still here with me

I struggle to hear your voice these days
I can’t remember how it sounds
It hurts like a knife in the heart
Though I can’t remember your words
It doesn’t change how much you mean to me

It’s been such a long time
And I’m not that eight year old girl anymore
Still I know when I’m sad and down
I’ll just look up into the clouds and see you smiling down
And I’ll smile back and know, for now, that it’s going to be okay

My stomach hasn't settled
Since that one day
Butterflies and knots
Riddling my stomach into decay
Like a virus
Eating from the inside out
Always hungry
Never full
Always eating
What's inside of me
Nothing hushes my aching stomach
What's wrong?
Maybe an ulcer
I guess it could be cancer
Of the stomach
Or liver
Maybe even the pancreas
It could even be my heart
But for now I'll just call them butterflies
Eating out my gut.

Going back to it
You'll never hear
All the wasted anger
All the wasted fear
Memory no more
Everything will be lost
Now I'm left by myself
To figure it all out

I can't remember the way we felt
And that feels so good
I can't remember the way we used to lay
And that makes me lay so peacefully
I can't remember the scent
And that makes the air more fresh
I can't remember anything
And that makes everything so much better.

This is one of those cheesy things
One of those things about love that people can’t stand
It starts with “I miss you” and ends with “I love you”
In the middle comes “I always knew you were the one”
Later on comes “We’ll be together forever”
And it ends with “I love you”
But, now we are at the start
I miss you
I miss you terribly so
There are times I cannot bear it
There are times I think it’d be easier if I were to end it
Then I think of the next
I always knew you were the one
From day one, it was only you
Through the ups and the downs, lord knows we’ve had them
It has always been you, faithful and true
We’ve been going strong and showing no signs of slowing
We’ll be together forever
That’s it, that’s the next part
Pieces start to come together
Our life begins to form
That’s when the ending ties it all in
I love you, my darling
I always have and I always will
From start to finish and life to death
Forever, my darling
I love you

Forever wondering
Was it right or was it wrong?

Choices
There is always a choice

Yes
No
Maybe
Kinda
Later
Now
Black
White
Square
He
She
Ri­ght
Wrong

Right....



Wrong....

Is it?

Walking through life
Knowing
The straight way
Ahead
Like a blade
Straight and sharp
Cutting down the path
Bumps may come
But overcame
Every bump I passed
Continue
The path I see
The end is clear
Until a foggy haze appeared
Now wandering I find
Myself
I don't know where to go
I walk and I walk
Going everywhere
And Seeing nothing
This foggy haze
It stays
Searching and searching
For a break
Then I get it
I'm staring down a cliff.

When I cry
I let my tears fall to the floor
The tears I used to dry
They aren't mine
But, alas, they are mine to dry.

The sleepless nights
They are countless and growing
Those nights are not mine
But, alas, I am the one awake
My body is the one begging for sleep.

I am mine
Because you never were
And I never was
I am mine and that is how it shall stay
I am mine forevermore
Until the end of time
I will be mine
Until my bones grow weak
And my skin grows cold
This heart will always be mine.

My heart
My heart is mine and will only beat for me
Because when  you let it beat for someone else
That's when the tears are not yours
And that's when the sleepless hours become nights and days
And there's no willing them away
My heart has beaten my skin to the punch
Seemingly cold and motionless
My heart sits in my chest
What once used to ache for you
Now beats for no one
And hurts for no one
An impenetrable fortress of cold, hard ice
That I hope, for your sake, never gets melted
Because that's when your tears will start
And the sleepless hours will become nights
And you will be as cold as I.

Any words I could write to make you stay
They'd be written on this page
To avoid my night terrors
Of your back walking away from me
Because the things I didn't do
For what I couldn't say
Don't you think there will come a day
When I won't regret
When I'll be okay.

This day has come too soon
The death of a friend
I thought it’d never end
You’ve been there for me
Through thick and thin
The good and the bad
I knew it would end
But it’s too soon
Coming to this life’s end
Too soon
For the life of my friend
Words were not needed
For the love that we shared
You stuck by me
And I to you
Till the bittersweet end
I will remember you
For what you were
The friend to me
Covered in fur
Yes, you were a dog
But, no, that does not change
The love I had for you was strong
Stronger than any human being
Now it’s your time
Your time to say goodbye
And though I may cry
I know it’s for the best
That you close your eyes
And say goodbye
I see your weary and your pain
And it would be selfish of me
To ask you to stay
But, come too soon
This day has
For I am not ready to say good bye
Not just yet
I will never say good bye
This I know for sure
Because I am certain that we will meet
Meet surely once again

Dear me
This is my apology
For being who I am today
For being everything
I'm not meant to be

Dear you
I'm sorry that I can't fulfill
The shoes laid out for me to fill
They're just to big to fit my feet
At least for right now.

Dear me
Please hang on to me
Don't let me go just yet
There's still so much to do
Don't cry for me
I'm sorry.

Dear you
Just leave me alone
Can't you see I'm all alone
Its so hard traveling the world by your lonesome
Just let me live
Please have some mercy
Open your eyes and see the pain I'm in.

Dear me
Please stop the pain that I've been feeling
I can't handle
I'm not dealing
I'm not getting on so well these days.

Dear you
I know you try
I know you cry
But, look at me
You think I'm so naive
That's why I'm writhing in misery
That's why I stay silent
And cry.

Dear me
Salvation could be coming soon
So try and hold up your head
I know its easier said
But, try
For me.

Dear me
This is my apology
For being who I am today
For being everything
I'm not meant to be

Dear you
I'm sorry that I can't fulfill
The shoes laid out for me to fill
They're just to big to fit my feet
At least for right now.

Dear me
Please hang on to me
Don't let me go just yet
There's still so much to do
Don't cry for me
I'm sorry.

Dear you
Just leave me alone
Can't you see I'm all alone
Its so hard traveling the world by your lonesome
Just let me live
Please have some mercy
Open your eyes and see the pain I'm in.

Dear me
Please stop the pain that I've been feeling
I can't handle
I'm not dealing
I'm not getting on so well these days.

Dear you
I know you try
I know you cry
But, look at me
You think I'm so naive
That's why I'm writhing in misery
That's why I stay silent
And cry.

Dear me
Salvation could be coming soon
So try and hold up your head
I know its easier said
But, try
For me.

Can't breathe
Can't sleep
Can't dream
Can't eat
Dan't drink away my feelings
Till they hit the bottom of the bottle

Can't talk
Can't scream
Can't take the person staring at me
Because she just isn't good enough
For anyone, not even me.

Can't do anything but cry.

Dear cup of coffee,
You're all I need
In the morning
To get me through the day
Or at least until two
Then give me another
Another cup of coffee
To get me through
An ode you, coffee!
To me you have always been true!
Pick me up in the morning
Wind me down in the evening
This is an ode to you!
Always cherished and always loved
You're like a gift from above
When I indulge too much the previous night
I always wake up with a fright
But, there you are holding my hand
My dear coffee can
This is my ode to you
Forever shall we always be true!

Come dance with me
No, wait, you're gonna get burned
Get up off the ground
I'm just gonna sit you back down
Spinning words like a web
Venom in my words like a curse
You think you're free
Then you don't know me
Just try to breathe
I might let you free
I'm schoolin you like a teacher
And no, I ain't no preacher
I'm just telling you what I see.

Come dance if you're brave
But, once you're with me
No one can save
Whatever is left after I get a hold
Who knew words could be so cold
Feeling like ice
Try taking a roll of the dice
They're loaded in favor
Of the mistress you savor
Just come dance
I promise it won't be your last.

How's it feel to be someone's little chew toy
Oh, now don't try to play coy
Just dance with me baby
I want to see everything you can be
But, it won't be enough to play with me
Rolling with the big girls now
And you fall with a pow
Without a single touch
I didn't know I'd feel this much
Now come dance
I promise I'll make your last
With this fire in my eyes
And no more tears to cry.

You can try your hardest
To dance this dance
But I move so fast
And you fall to the ground
Get up and try again
Because it'll be worth it in the end

Trust me...

"Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone"
Oh how I used to hate that song
But, now rings with the sound of relief
No more fighting
No more crying
No more you
No more me
No more us
Now more we
With waves of grief I grieve
But, never regret or believe
That it was always me
The safest place was in your arms
I felt no harm
I trusted your word
And I was your sword
But my blade was dulled
And your shield grew weak
Now my heart, you no longer keep
I hope you buy the next one flowers
And I hope you hold her hand
I hope you never forget me
Because I never can
I will never forget the things you did
Both the good and the bad
So I don't repeat the past
It was a good run
But, we just couldn't finish the race
Now rest your weary bones
And I'll sharpen my blade
Until the next one comes again.

I hear every whisper you make
Every breath you take
Lying there in your bed
Miles away.
I hear every request you make
Every whisper that escapes your lips

I hear every sound
You don't hear me screaming
How is that possible?
You must be deaf.

What did we lose
When we chose long ago
What did we lose
Besides each other?
Did we really escape?
Or did we make a mistake?
But it was so hard to take
I can't will to relive those days
The crying and pain and the loneliness.

But, I can't help thinking about all that we were
Can't help thinking about how that life was
What did it take for us to lose?
What did it take for me to move?
And what did we gain from all of that pain?

We were so lonely inside
I can't help to cry
As I think about all of those lonely nights
Without you.
I can barely hold onto those feelings now
But, when I get in that mood and I'm feelin down

I can't help thinkin about all those late night talks
Sometimes it felt like you were there somehow
Was it worth all the pain of losing us?
Were we ready for the break, was it just?
I just can't help thinking...

Whatever happened to the music you wrote
Whatever happened to the words I'd write
Just when we thought we had lost
We showed us how
To keep it together, not fall apart
The road, it got tough
Thought we'd make it out together...

But, I wasn't strong
Was I in the wrong?

Sometimes I get to thinking
About you and me...
And sometimes I wonder
Was it meant to be?...

But, then I think about all the times I cried
Because you couldn't be by my side
And I know it sounds mean but, you know it, too
It just wasn't right for me and you
Circumstance is a *****
Situation's a *****
It was the hardest thing for me to walk out that door
Another time, another day
But, then I needed more.

So, what did we lose so long ago?
Inspiration, our muse, where did it go?
I don't know about you
But, I'm writing this now
You inspire me now...still somehow
My friend, you will always
Dear friend, you have always.

Sometimes I feel like the words aren't my own
Like I'm always singing someone else's song
Like the life that I'm living isn't for free
Like there's always some kind of fee
Now I'm not asking for a silver platter
I'm just asking to keep the things that matter
Like the one thing that makes me...well, me
My ability to be happy.

Now you have to stop doing this
Always hesitating
Never cooperating
Like you're so scared just to try to get far
Instead you just try to cover the scars
But, what is life when you're playing on defense
Too much of one thing just doesn't make any sense.

Just do it, you know you can
I wish it were as simple as that
When living life for so long
Always needing answers to prove you ain't wrong
And still no one believes you
So you feel like you still have something to prove
But proving gets old, it gets tired real fast
It was a matter of time until the last stone was cast
Making the foundation crumble and crack
Beneath the weight of the worries of everyone else's world
Just do it, you have the power, you can
It's not as simple as that.

They don't understand
But, wait a minute,....they do
Sometimes the words they have to say are the words that you need
But, words that you hear aren't what you believe
Because truth is a fickle thing
It can hurt and it can make you bleed
Make you hate whats looking back in the mirror and what you see
Is a person that you don't know anymore
You look in your own eyes and your throat gets sore
That's when you look down and try to think
What does everyone else see in me?

What does my man see when he looks in my eyes?
Does he see the little girl crying at night?
Does he see the cuts
The drugs
The *****
All the vices just leading me to lose?
Can he feel me crawling in my skin when he holds me?
Does he know that it's my own voice that haunts me?
Can he see the smile that is only truly his?
All of my secrets unlocked to him with a kiss
"You're so beautiful"
He says with that light in his eye
And inside I want to cry
Because I want to believe but, it's so hard
To think that I'm beautiful
When I feel I'm falling apart
I just beg he won't stop seeing
What I know he sees in me
Because one day, that, I will be
So, dear me
Reread
Rinse and repeat.