Something different
Something sudden
I was caught by surprise
By those, oh so stunning eyes
I said hi
You said hello.
My little kitty
Vowing to forever stand by me
As friend, maybe more
Kitty, thank you for caring about me
Maybe you can help me see
For the second first time
Help me pick up the pieces of my mind
As you so vowed to do
Because you know the hurt
And you could desert
But, I'm just guarded and scared
My heart is just tired
And it's me you want to admire
It's just such a crazy notion
That some of your beauty and style
Might notice little old me
With the pudge and the baggage
But, here you are patiently waiting
And helping me pick up the pieces of my life
Maybe one day I could call you my wife
One meeting could make a lifetime
Some things I can't help but take as a sign
But, only time will let us see
I was just so surprised
When you said hello
And I said hi.

The words want to flow
But, so many poems in a row
I made a promise, not only to you
But, to myself
The subject matter at hand
I'll only say what I can
So that I can grow
The words cannot flow.

You're holding the gun
And I'm pulling the trigger
I'll shoot us both

The one thing that stings the most
Is the realization that I really was wrong
I made a mistake and now I'm paying the cost
The greatest words that were ever said
"Focus on Rosie and ***** all the rest"
That's what my Mama said before she left
And I know that she's right
I need nothing when I have me right by my side
No one here to let me curl up and hide
People say these are the best years of my life
I sure hope not cuz' all I want to do is curl up and die
But I won't trip
Because I'll keep a stiff upper lip
It just hurts that I was wrong
So I'll just keep singing my song
Time for my solo queue

In my head
In my bed
When I'm laying alone
Wondering if I'm in yours
And it hurts me to my core
The fact that I still miss you
And I still want to kiss you
But as time will pass
I'm sure this can't last
Right?
You're neither friend nor foe
I don't know what you are, though
I believe you are something
Ironically
Something not logical
And temperamental in nature
A ticking time bomb of sorts
Just waiting till the fuse burns
And everything bursts
At the seams of the heart
And everything will rip apart
Then come together with such synchrony
That it'll be a little bit scary
But, I don't fret
Because I know I'm better than that
When laying in my bed
Welcoming the feeling
But dreading the presence
Of the image of your face
That I once held so dear
But, I no longer fear
Because I am better than late night romps in your car
And trying to touch something that is so far
Away from me and through with me
But, you are not my enemy
These problems are beneath me
Because I deserve more than a lack of trust
And asking for a massage...was that too much?
I forgave you, yes
But, that doesn't change this mess
Now I'm sober and over
This mess that we left
I'm cleaning myself up and dusting myself off
Because I may have faltered
But, I will always get back up
And in time we'll both see
That you're wrong about me
No logic, only emotion
Well, you can't have a beach without an ocean
But, that's over now and I won't let myself settle for rejection
In this circumstance I won't be it's subjection
I'll only be it's objection
Because I won't stick around where I'm not wanted
And maybe soon I won't be haunted
By you in my head
And in my bed
And maybe soon I won't wonder if I'm in yours
Because soon I'll know that I'm in mine.

One of those moments
When writing just isn't happening
When all you can do is quote your favorite song
When you can't come up with your own
Trying to breathe and speak
But the words catch in your throat
Behind the tears falling from your eyes
Falling at the tempo of your music
In time to the beat of your weary heart
Thinking and wondering
When the worry gets too much
And you realize you're silly
Now get over it
So your heart can move on to another beat.

Did that just happen?
Or was it just a dream?
Maybe I'll just lead myself to believe
That it was all a dream
Including the scent of your skin
And the feel of your lips
Against mine in the pale moonlight
And your warmth swallowing me once again
I'll convince myself it was a dream
So I don't get burned again.

But, it felt so different
Like we were starting again
Two new people in two new lives
Two people with the tools to make it through
With the tools to start anew
Feeling the same would have been great
But, I would have had to politely depart
Because it would have been the same road
Just a different time
Same place
But, it felt so different.

I think it's safe to let myself believe
It was all just a dream
But, you know me
I was never one to be safe
But, I've turned a new leaf
So it'll remain a dream
For now...
Just let me know if I'm wrong
Let me know if it happened
Let me know if we really sang that song
Because I meant every word I said
When I said I was in it for the long haul
We may be a little bent
But, we can learn to love again
Oh...and there I go...

Saying the things we never said
How can this be the end?
Even if it was just a dream
It's one I hope to have again
And again and again
Well, you get the idea
So just let me know
There's no rush to the end
Though I'll always be there for you, friend
Even if it's only a dream
I'll be with you until the bitter end
Call me a hopeless romantic
For these love driven antics
But, since you've been gone things just got so clear
And, in all honesty, I have nothing to fear
Because even if it was a dream
My eyes will always gleam
Because you helped give me strength
A voice
You helped me find my own mind
And that isn't a dream.

Did that happen?
Yes, it did
Will it stay reality
Or will I have to believe it's a dream?
I don't know, my dear
You tell me.