Forever wondering
Was it right or was it wrong?

Choices
There is always a choice

Yes
No
Maybe
Kinda
Later
Now
Black
White
Square
He
She
Ri­ght
Wrong

Right....



Wrong....

Is it?

The end is drawing near
Can't you feel it, too, my dear?


Slow the breathing, my love
Soon...soon, it will be gone





Leave us, heathen
Leave us to live in peace

Slow the breathing, my demon
Soon my pain will be gone



You've served your purpose
What little that might have been
Now go on and cease
Can you leave us feeling proud?

Grasp your last days of life
Love your one true love
The bottle you always hold dear
Never the ones that are near

Ignorant you are to the pain
But, that is fine
Sweet salvation is near
So, slow your breathing, my dear.

Your life will fade away
As will our pain
I will never forget
How can I forgive?

You don't deserve
You can't have us
Our pain will fade


So, slow your breathing, my dear
The end is drawing near.

I'm happy now
I didn't think
Without you
I could be
Happy.

Now I smile
A real smile
I wonder
Did you do that to me?

Our life we planned
Was never meant
Our fairy tale
Come to an end

So dry your tears
And make believe
Because all that we ever were
Just a dream.

So rest your head
Dream again
Because that's all I ever was
Just a dream.

The droning bass
the big piano swells
Like the swells of my heart
Growing
GROWing
GROWING
Like my affection for you once did....

Flitting of keys
High and piercing
Sweet dissonance
Minor seconds...the major sevenths
Coming together in sweet cacophony
Just as our bodies once did....

The warmth of the chords
Sending sweet chills through me
Making me close my eyes to enjoy
The music entirely
My body surrendered to music
Just as it once did to you....

Now it's just my music
The swells
The dissonance
The warmth
That is what love is
So I shall make love to music
I shall make it mine
I shall love and be loved
Just as it once was us...

I never thought this day would come
The day I write something like this about you
The day the words creep into my head
It’s over
Is it over?

We used to be so perfect
Despite everything, it was perfection
But, nothing is every perfect…
That’s what I’m finding out

I never thought the happiness would fade
I guess I was wrong
You say you’re happy but…
How could you be happy?

I wish I knew what to do
About me and you

I thought we were indestructible
We’ve been through so much
And we’d be through so much more
Through it all we’d triumph and love
Through it all…

I love you, do not forget that
The tears that fall from my eyes are yours
I wish you could see….

It isn’t a matter of love anymore
It’s the situation
Two perfectly imperfect people thrown together
Under a very imperfect situation
A situation that…I can’t

I can’t…
I….

Is it over?

With you                              Without you
Forever waiting                       Forever lonely
You’re my world                                  Do I have anything?
I made you everything                          Maybe I was wrong
It’s so hard                                         It’s so hard.
                                           Either way
                Tears will be shed
                 Pain is to come
                   Either way
                   It’s so hard.

It's the holiday season
Christmas eve to be exact
I'm sitting at home with a cat in my lap
The television is on
A Christmas special
What else is on?

**, **, **!
Says the santa on TV
Trying to spread joy and cheer
I smile a little then look over at you
Eyes glazed over, nursing a beer
Tears begin to well
I turn away
Who knows how you'd act if you saw my face.

I look out the window at all the snow I see
Wondering what is exactly out there for me
Standing up, I grab my coat
"Where you goin?" he slurs, a hiccup in his throat
With no response I go
Right out the door

It's a little bit chilly
But, I do not mind
Walking down the New York streets
On Christmas Eve night
The street lamps are on and I can see all around
The houses lit up
They truly are homes

The family cozied up
All around the tree
Ornaments and lights
Tinsel and beads
I stop and I stare
If they saw me, I wouldn't care
The family inside
Oh, how nice it would be

I keep walking, my head held down
Thinking about the joy of the families around
I can't help thinking
Somehow....I missed out.

I walk down the street
Down to the local park
It's where we first met
But, things are different now
Sitting on a bench, I take in the scene
Freshly laid snow, not tainted by feet.

A couple comes by and I close my eyes
They're just like we were
Walking so late at night
Hand in hand
Kisses galore
Giggles and laughs
It brings them back

We used to have that
A love so true
Now I'm wondering what happened to you
I never thought this is the way it'd be
Afraid to come home
Afraid of what you might do to me

It's time to go home
How nice it'd be to walk the other way
My feet move reluctantly against my will
Leading my home
Leading me back to you

I walk in the door
You're nowhere to be found
I see a note on the couch
It reads "You're better alone"
I hear you upstairs as I walk in the room
"I thought you'd be longer"
You're there, packing a bag
Both of us look down, tears in our eyes
How can we salvage all of these lies?

You come to me and I flinch for a second
Until you look at me, soft and warm
A tear runs down and you wipe it away
I can't look at you, I just wish you'd get out of my face
"I know things have changed"
You're getting choked up now
I've never seen you cry
It's about **** time

You sit on the bed
Your head in your hands
"I want to change back
Please give me another chance
I'm getting some help
Please take me back"
You're in tears now
Pleading in your eyes
I know you had prepared to say our last goodbye

You're eyes
They don't lie
I know you're genuine inside
I walk to you, cradling your head to my chest
"My darling, it's Christmas Eve night"
You look up at me, sadness in your eyes
I say "This night can be salvaged, break open the wine".