I find it alone.


It is for me,
Only mine.

I find it inside.
Deep within my mind
as the night goes on.


Alone with my thoughts
as I lay in bed.
My piece of peace within myself.

I find it alone.
As I fall fast asleep.

Vision blurs
Mind goes blank
Knees weak
Hands are sweaty
What is it that I'm about to do?
Sell away my soul in this sad attempt
An attempt to make my life better
One must suffer to know happiness
Well I have suffered
Stomach churns
Mouth goes dry
What is it that I'm about to do?
What am I doing with my life?
Why must one live to die?

Hey you
Yeah you
The one that ran away
Did you know I was faking it
Every time I came?
Did you know your words meant nothing?
Did I know mine meant less?
Hey you
Yeah, you
Thank for being a man
Instead of telling me the truth
You just up and ran
Away from me and all my pain
Why the Hell did I help you with yours?
Did you know how much I hurt?
Did I know how much you didn’t care?
Hey you
You know who I’m talking to
There’s no need to point a finger
The blame is all on you.

Milky white
The skin of your *******
In the pale moonlight
Spilling across the satin sheets
Your dark hair in waves
My gaze is drawn
My breath is caught
Skin on skin
Yours so soft beneath my fingertips
A push and a pull
A breath and a moan
Eyes gleaming against the moon
Locking on to mine
The moment is quick
But, it is all that’s needed
To make you mine
And to call me yours.

A little girl so naïve
So young
She didn’t know what love was
She didn’t know anything
She did know trust
She trusted him and thought he would never do her wrong
He was older
Like a big brother in a sense
The next door neighbor
The one she could depend on to look out for her
They spend days fishing, nights laughing
Happiness was all she knew
He grew older
She did not
He knew what he wanted
She didn’t have a clue
He asked her to do it
She knew it was wrong
He said it wouldn’t hurt
She was too young
He touched her
She laid there
He touched her more
She was stiff as a board
He climbed on top
She felt the pain
His breath picked up
Hers seemed to stop
He was done and left
She stayed and cried
A year passed and things seemed alright
Nothing else happened
She thought it was over
She was naïve and young
She never understood what had happened
He came to her again
He threatened
She was afraid
He touched her
She looked away
He moaned and sighed
She was stiff
His muscles tense
Her mind forced numb
He got off
She just stayed there
“Get your clothes on”
That’s what he said
Before he left
Now she’s left broken
After what he’s done
The boy that she’d trusted
Well he broke it all in her
Now she can’t even speak his name
She’s got to learn it again
She’s got to regain her pride
And all the tears, she’ll hide
The last thing she wants is for him to see her cry
He may have stolen from her what she can’t get back
But now she’ll make it alright
She won’t look back

Going back to it
You'll never hear
All the wasted anger
All the wasted fear
Memory no more
Everything will be lost
Now I'm left by myself
To figure it all out

Ten page paper
Orchestral Excerpt Jury
Music History
Sight Singing exam
Practice piano
Piano final
Make revisions
Evaluate
Drink coffee
Cry
Get drunk
Try the ten page paper again
Take some advil to get through the jury
Try to wake up in time to get to 8am Music History
Hope to not get a sore throat for singing exam
Piano piano piano piano
What were we talking about in religion?
What am I doing my paper on?
When's it due?
Music. Music. Music. Music.
Cry.  
Cry some more.
Get **** done.