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I want to write a screen play
The story of a life
A journey to insanity
The weary inner strife
The endless days of torture
Night's of intense mental pain
The wishing you where dead
Yet clinging to life's vein
When sparks of love afforded
To be snatched away in game
Each tearing a little deeper
Your sanity deranged
Their victory proclaimed
Like chess played with neurons
On a a board that has no squares
A three dimensional prison
That exists inside your head
No solace reached in morning
Their tirade begins again
Retreating deeper inward
You worsen every day
Finally a knife edge
Stay or walk away
Berated for your failure
Each and every day
Survival is all that matters
Clinging to your life
Thoughts are so intransient
You smile as you cry
A hug could simply **** you
Your humanity's been lost
Others did not see it
Nor how you paid the cost
So if I wrote a screenplay
The story of a life
How would I begin or end
What words would I write
Would you see the meaning
And hold me close tonight?
Writing the inexplicable
An obituary to a victim of mental domestic violence
is what inspired this poem
      ...



wind

outer space

forward

backwards

strings

haunting sounds

expectance

waiting

...
and growing
and lifting
and SINGING
AND LIFTING
AND BREAKING

FALLING

DRIFTING









AND SWELLS

...
AND SWELLS




SWELLS



GROWING



BIGGER BRIGHTER LIGHTER


doesn't stop
swells
breaks
grows
stops
starts
turns



then
her voice



SWELLS



and

          ...inspires
I sat, staring
a raw paper, naked before me
it gawks at me, teases me, mocks me.
With a blank stare it intimidates me.
Ah, a pun!
Lost pun, without a home.
Perhaps I should file it
with so many other homeless puns?
They have no where to go.
Like a transient they stand
holding signs that read
"Will work for a storyline."
But they are not alone.
There are sentences, paragraphs,
poems and essays
with no end in sight.
"Come join us!" they cry.
"We will await the gods
imagination and inspiration!"

But as Christ delays his coming,
so do they.

But wait, and wait it shall.
Patient paper
Silent paper
The gods will come.
As thieves in the night.
In the dawns early light.
Ah yes!
You will not compel me to stare.
Taunting remnant of tree.

For the gods never come
while I watch.
We all have our vices, but you are not excused
Everything you've ever given me reeks of *****
I get it I guess, life is like a cage
But here you are, always caught up in rage
Promises for tomorrow are feeble excuses
When I know you think only on life's sweetest juices
It's okay though, continue letting me down
The funny part is I will never drown
Drag me across a road full of witches and thieves
But look at me, I have barely scrapped my knees
Toughness I see does not run in our blood
I face my problems like a sailboat in a flood
One thing I've learned since you've called me your baby:
Life is much better when you stop believing in maybe
The future before me is so big and so bright
Therefore I thank you for showing me the darkness of night
I hope that one day you learn to be brave,
And face your demons before your grave
Although my heart now will never beat quite right
I love you forever, without hate and no spite
-1-
You give me butterflies
And this scares me
But I like it
Come be near me

Can I tell you
Whats within me
This confusion
It's amazing

I trust you
But I'm scared
Because I know
When there is no more
When you leave me
When I can't see you
Where will I be
                              Lost eternally

You are my best friend
You are my man
All I need is
For you to hold my hand
Even if it's only once
I need to feel your touch
'Cuz your mind is beautiful
Your voice is appealing
And here I stand
Waiting to take your hand

So your hands are big?
Ok, I feel safe
Just don't let me go
Because I'll never know
What to do with myself

And so if you go
You can blindfold me
Or just take away my sight
I know I will adjust
But only so much
I know I'll understand
The beauty around me
But I'll never be able to appreciate
Everything that surrounds me

But enough of you leaving me
The thought is too depressing
And let me tell you
I'm so grateful to meet you
That I think of you
Before I go to bed
That to the Lord
I humbly bow my head
That I thank Him
For putting you in my life
And I thank you
For giving me butterflies
 Apr 2013 Rosemarie Caruso
cyrus
stick a nickel in your mouth because you like money
melt it down and let it coat your tongue like honey
and you still can't taste food two days later
because you've got a solid metal tongue that can't taste flavor
coin tongue click your teeth for Charon to deliver
and cut your tongue out to pay him to cross the river
when you burned your last nickel in the furnace
it dissolved like the sun as it churned and spit
solar flares lick your eyes because they love you
fire only wants to kiss you like doves do
doves do burn too, feathers like ashes like carbon monoxide
they were plastic so you passed out when they fried
a little molten rubber with a little bubble
and a prize inside, pop it because it's trouble
and supple, with evaporated eyes
no doves just trinkets and magpies
a little bit of gold is the same as mass hypnosis
dove or chicken nuggets or gold nuggets for strong doses
of oxytocin and candy corn, serve them together on halloween to children
because they need thick skin and ritalin
in them to keep them quiet, and so everyone's got a little disquiet
in their stomachs, because we're all high
on coins coins and brightly lit rooms
and when we have to turn the lights off at least turn on the nickel moon
 Apr 2013 Rosemarie Caruso
cyrus
his bulbous eyes stared and clamored.
they bulged like cartoon animals do when
a fist throttles them. we hurried past him
because he told us something about nineteen eighty-five
and what if he has a knife in his coat?
the blue and yellow neon lights bathed his face
in commercial light and illuminated
his anguish. he didn't have any money, probably
because those men stole it from him when he was sleeping.
you know the ones he talks about - their suits are always
clean. we hurried past him, and his caffeine eyes
finally went to sleep even though his addled brain
prayed for consciousness. the suits would come to him in the night
and fill him with drugs again.
He swept through Eden

A soul so pure, it was deceiving.

A cloud he was, supple and sated.

Flowing by, never the need to be commemorated.

Zeus his master he did obey

Whether to sprinkle droplets,

Or lead a storm astray.

.

She blinded thousands with her might

A warmth so strong, it left us seething.

A star she was, born to fill skies.

Her beauty not astounding, yet her fame would rise.

To the highest peak of the heavens she grew,

And was crowned the Sun,

The biggest star heaven knew.

.

When their voices spoke,

The winds blew.

When their eyes met,

The earth glittered.

When they touched,

Raindrops cried.

When he entered her,

The spectrum shone.

.

Their love was a miracle, the mortals exclaimed.

The SunCloud dance, a strange kind of romance.

Their love was an oracle, the gods smiled.

Forever it shall be, it birthed reveries.

.

He said he’d be there

by her side

Whenever she needed him

Whenever she cried.

So when her tears did fall

and she searched for him

to dry them all

He wasn’t there, no where in sight.

For, to his Calling, he had to abide

when Zeus called upon his role,

a blind eye was turned to all, back and fore.

.

In every saga, there lay a twist

In this oracle too, lived an abyss.

They say the Seven Sins are a mortal curse,

What do we do when the cards are reversed?

Original sin, that ****** apple.

Lay its seed in the guise of a third faction.

Led her astray, to the fray between lust and love

And she gave way,

away from the confines of the holy chapel

into the midst of that ****** apple.

.

Every 12 hours she played that game

Disappearing into the blackness of Satan’s dorm

Her tongue unraveled his devious form.

Over and under and over again,

Every 12 hours she played that game.

And thus a deal was made with this plight,

Dusk was when she would surrender

To the whims and whips of the forbidden wonder

At dawn the moans would cease to breathe,

She gasped, and she no longer was free.

.

She lost her power,

Her glow reached its end as soon as it begun.

Night was created:

The win of Satan over Sun.

.

The vengeance..:

.

She yearned to hear the voice,

The way he said her name,

Engulfing her in the deepest of flames,

Blinding herself to that fact:

it was all in retribution of the game played.

The game she played every night

a tryst with the blackness,

and she faded away,

ashamed, she stood.

This game, a part of that daily miracle.

A sacrilege of the Greater good.

.

He kissed upon Satan’s cheek,

and slated her the Sin.

A Sin he longed to trickle upon his skin.

He called her every name in the book,

Shattered her soul, the Creation shook:

from the highest tower, to the lowest seabed,

the birds wailed, and the flowers bled.

Her soul died

Till the seventh heaven, the angels cried.

.

Although she slipped,

Gave in to the hunger,

Her flame would always be a-yonder

As to Him it belonged, wherever he would wander.

.

They never realized the purity of it

For tainted was she, a sin she did commit

They never realized the sanctity of it

For mere mortals were they,

With a delusional sense of merit.

.

Through their tears, the angels had sworn

A love so chaste was unknown.

No smoke without fire,

They all say.

The smoke blinded:

A piercing ray,

Engulfing them without the blaze,

No fire this time,

But their light will prevail.

.

She waits for him by the sky,

Her eyes ablaze with the teary hope; the blame subsides.

Her cloud will forgive her, the angels pray.

Every night she plays the game,

Not to Satan’s dorm, but to the horizon she flees,

At the brink of the heavens, he feels her plea.

.

There is no end to this tale

Their love is eternal, a faithful veil.

The tears of the clouds graze the Sun’s face,

Time wiping her sins away

Their Love you feel each time it rains.
So, what’s this all about love?
Everyone talks about it
Like it’s some gift from above
I don’t know what it tastes like
The sight of it eludes me
But I hear it’s like a lightning strike.
Call me cynical but I have other stuff to do
Thing’s to write, arguments to make
A lot of different things to go through
I’m still hearing “why can’t guys be like you?”
Instead of something nice like
“I think I care about you”
But with all that’s happening here
I find the simple idea of love
Something impossible to bear
Because I’ve got suff to do
So I can’t be weighed down
By useless dances of two
Of course, I’m lying right now
I really do want to love,
I just don’t know how.
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