I've given up
given in
I'm done trying
I dont wanna win
I dont wanna win
there it is
I told you that im sorry but you wont forgive
Handcuffs
Straight Jacket
pills down my throat
shove a tube in my mouth
make sure it goes
pull off the blind fold
im in a white room
I told you i would **** myself and this is what you do
you put in me in a cage
kept my love contained
they said I have a vistitor
but i dont wanna see your face
broken
hopeless
tears on your face
you say that your sorry
it shouldnt end this way
you tell me you love me
that it will be ok
if it will be okay you would listen to me pleading to be saved
please
these handcuffs are to tight
I know im use to blood  on my wrist but this isnt right
i scream at you to help me
why wont you help me
why wont you help me
why wont you help me anymore
cant you hear my screams
I grab on  to your wrist
please
please
they haul me away
back to my cage
where i count my days
by the colors of my pills
I count my days
by the number of your calls i dont recieve
I count my days
by how many times I say sorry
for whatever sins put me in this prision
I count my days
by the shattered pieces of my heart
I count my days
by how many times i whisper your name
I count my days
I count my days
I count my days
I miss you
why did you have to send me away

Since you I've lost my grip
I threw in the towel
I gave in
Since you I've become week
broken
empty
Since you I've lost myself
My mind
nothings left
Since you  Im too broken
to weak to past his test
im to stuck in the past
selling my body for cash
you should be glad
you wished me hell and here i am
I'm free falling from ectasy
I have no where left to land
I would **** myself
but to bad i cant
since you I've lost myself
my mind
nothings left

i give a part of myself to the world and leave the rest to rot inside me
the best of me on the outside
while the worst eats away at my peace
i need to tell the truth
i need to tell them i'm a fake
but my tears fall fast
my breath can't catch up to my lashes
inner scars that break my voice up into pieces

this is who i am
learning how to hide behind a smile
holding hands with the self hate that makes my life worth while
i am broken
scared to look into the mirror and see the monster i've become
maybe i'm going crazy and there's no war to be won

if they knew the real me
they wouldn't give me a second look
all they know is that i'm talented and too loud for my own good

being good was never my intention
being strong was not my goal
all i want is for my apathetic nature
to turn me into something whole

A crush
when the thought of him takes your breathe away
when you keep imagining the way he says your name
A crush
Commonly mistaken for love
a crush is just an intense feeling of lust
you cant get enough of
A crush
they way your heart speeds up when you see him
your eyes scream kiss me
but he doesn't get the message
A crush is a seed for something more
hopefully you get the flower
and not the thorn
A crush
*My crush