Hannah decided to have a heartwarming party
After all home is where the heart is
So she invited anyone with lungs that breathe
To come share the warming air

She typed up a flier that read:

I welcome you all to see
The moon meet the sun
Cover charge: one body handshake

The drug for this evening will be hugs
I've heard if you have too many or
Squeeze too hard you can
Overdose on love
But we will take our chances

Bring a friend or
Better yet an enemy

Show them that the
Night can dance with the day
It will dawn on them at dusk

This won't be one of those
BYOB affairs
More like bring your own everything
So we all can play emotional musical chairs

Smiles are free
Surrounded by such company
So be sure to RSVP
Even though walk ins are always accepted
It would make me so happy
To know you're coming! :)

I'm a lost sock
Longing to keep a foot from feeling cold
Even though I can't cover your entire body
Ill settle for an extremity
Because it's true that
Something really is better than nothing

I was dropped between the dryer and the washing machine
Forgotten about just like the paper clip and the thumbtack
My mirror matching partner
May have gone on to meet another
But either way I lie here in lint

I remember the comfort of being in a shoe
When the warmth flowed through me
I knew I was really getting somewhere
Always aware I was part of a pair
One of a two
Half of a couple that together made a team

Then again there was way back when
I was pressed and packaged and pristine and
Presented myself to people in a store
Who could care less to think twice or
Double take and have a second glance at me
I was as unique as all the rest
But I took my job very seriously

Now I crave to do anything
To help anyone and be of use anywhere
To maybe one day be rediscovered and
Perhaps reunite with my other or
Become a fine furniture duster or
A puppet upon the hand of a person Practicing how to be humble

It's a dream and a hope and
One of the few things left I'm free to have faith in
They can take my feet away but
They can't take everything

Somewhere out there is a bare paw
Chilled to the bone and shivering
Stinging exposed to the world
Wishing I was there

Come find me
Drop something worth picking up
So you notice that long lost missing sock
Reach and retrieve me and return me to reality

I've been waiting for this forever it seems
But through your eyes it's just a
Routine insignificant finding
Unknowing that it means the world to me and
My entire existence revolves around dependency

You talk about eggshells
I hear the crunch as I get closer to you
Thought it was glass breaking but it was too soft beneath my shoe
I can't stay out of your perimeter forever
When the diameter grows bigger and bigger
Pushing me farther away
I can still see soft silhouette

Your skin is so frail
Pale white made of the eggshells at your feet
You reach down time and again
When you're pierced by words
Cutting off oxygen
Penetrated by the carbon dioxide truth
You're not young anymore
Age is ageless numerals
You're not old

How many birds flew away from this pile of youth?
Each one once packaged like a gift
Leaving behind stacks of birth to sift through
You gathered them
Scattered them evenly around you
Put your appearance and self worth into them and
Waited for the crushing blow
Marching toward you from all sides
Your insecurities will swallow you and
The stomping will leave you angry and hollow

We are all hippy chickens
Making wishbones out of peace signs
Hoping for unity
Not realizing it's meant to be broken
A lopsided libra unbalanced
The powers that be
Expect you to follow obediently
Stand in line
You can't take just give
'Short people ain't got no reason to live'
Newman must have know
How difficult it is to create new men
One by one we attempt
To tip the scale in our favor
But the bigger Man
Can push it down with a finger
Like a toppling Pisa tower
A slow motion fall to the ground
A single direction agenda
The momentum gained
With each inch leaning

So stop clowning around
Sweep up your eggshells and
Go buy a dozen more grade A's and
Break them all at once
We don't have much time

I am Your tailor
To stitch strength into Your skin
I will clothe You in love
The color of crimson candles
I crochet scarves of courage
To cover Your soul
Sewing together festive fabric
Full of warmth and truth

I want to make my love into a suit
Or a dress and shoes to give to You
To wrap yourself in
When we are apart
A jacket you can have to heat
Your heart
A pair of gloves
To keep feeling in your fingertips
I want you to always be able
To write about Him

Imagine
We are forever hand in hand
Believe that together
We can do
Anything
Everything
Nothing that
Our loving lives cannot bring

I am Your carpenter
I will build Us from the ground up
Starting with a sound foundation
Groundwork will be made by Us
I am a handy man with working hands
I lay longevity in the floor
Wood for Us to walk upon
Strong enough for Us to
Stand the test of time

We will awaken walls to surround Us
A wondrous construction
Filled with adoration
Erected by emotion
A home of honesty and integrity
A house of comfort and family
Complete with a roof over Our heads
Two souls made one in Our bed

I love You Brittany
She is the moon above me
Her wholehearted love and devotion
Makes my burning bright sunlight
Swim through the seas

Step into the light
My flawless fairy
Take flight and
Take my hand
I will spend all of my life
Making you understand
My love for You ;
With me and You
There is not a single thing
We cannot do

I will be a man of all trades
For You
For Us
I will learn any skill and
Read every book
I will scour the earth
For any answer We need
I will climb all of the mountains and
Dive down into the ocean deep
To find for You and
Give to You
Me
A love and
Life and
Man
You can forever keep <3 :)

Do You accept
this proposition of We?
You and I
She and Him
Moon and Sun
Tree and Limb
Air and Lung
Mouth and Tongue
The woman I love with
The man who is loved

You can be replaced by nobody
Flawless fairy
Magnificent moon goddess
Cool commander of the seas
Calm and beautifully amazing lady
I made the word blush
When I called You pretty
You are so much more
Your breathtaking beauty is like folklore
Unbelievable yet real
When I see you I feel touched
By a spirit full of violet love

You are a divine being
Sent from above to be with me
I never really believed in angels before
But I've found You and
Now I question whether
My disbelief in heaven
Was a misconception
You are my celestial guardian
You are a holy dream saint
My darling

Remember always
I love You at all times
Never hesitate to call on me
Through thick and thin
Good and bad
Here I will be and
Here I will stay
It will be ok
You have my undivided everything

This modern world is just too much for me
Everywhere I look it's:
Fight or flight;
**** and flee
Pure and honest talent dehumanized by
Technology
Black and white;
Opressed and free
True and genuine love faked and flaunted and
Forgotten
Kiss and tell;
**** and flee
This modern world is just too much for me

When you interfere, I get an inner fear, that You should not be here
But You interject, and I recollect
The resolve You test, you know what's best
You insist, and I resist
To keep You at bay, in the same callous way
I won't let won't let you in, I can't let you win
To solidify my sin, the kind aside from religion, apart from illusion
Adultery of the Spirit

Chances are you've changed your plans again and
I'm betting I'm no longer a part of them

So I stand still and
You go steady
I guess you thought my friendship needed a vacancy
As if we could have too many
Reach a maximum occupancy
Exceed the optimum capacity

I have to say I'm not surprised
I've been told bigger lies
I often wonder why our pants aren't on fire
Isn't that what we used to say to each other?

Liar liar

You're too busy and
I'm too guilty
Ultimately
I don't really want you to be this happy
That says less about you and more about me than
I love you
Ever did

I'm sorry you had to babysit
My infantile intake of insults
Never ceasing to receive the same results
I just wish you wouldn't insist it was only my fault

Be honest
It wasn't just me who crossed the line
I was never leaving lies behind
When you found out you just said
You'll be fine

Liar liar

Go get married and have two kids
A few years from now you can tell me how it is
I won't know how it feels to repeal vows
Wedding band wasteland
What wonderful self worth we might have

Ill hang out here near the exit
Loitering through life and
Longing for the opportunity to
No longer want to be loved
When the fire crashes down from above
I will look to the sky and whisper
"Best friends forever"
Aflame at last

Liar liar

Homicide bomber through trial and error
The epitaph moniker scours my name
A sacredot comes to abduct unseen felonies
But you and I will never ever be the same

We neglect the olive branch
We are poles apart

Catacomb undercroft, catacomb deposit box
The cabinet mourns for me
My stigma is lost

Big chill runs through our vertebrae
It can surely be precise
Don't contemplate but ruminate
Extinction will suffice

We respect the villain
We lock horns

Catacomb undercroft
Catacomb deposit box
The cabinet mourns for me
Our stigma is lost

Diuturnal explication
Evanescent predicament
Fabricated blade incision
It cannot be over yet
Diuturnal - explication
Evanescent - predicament
Fabricatedbladeincision
It cannot be over yet

Homicide bomber - trial and error
Epitaph moniker scours my name
Sacredot comes to abduct unseen felonies
You and I will never ever be the same

We neglect the olive branch
**We are poles apart

When I was younger my babysitter was my sister
I would call her my baby sister but she was older than me five and a half years
A mother figure figuring out what to do
Telling me when to boil the water
Or when to change the laundry and
Put it in the dryer and
Always still having time to beat the **** out of me when she was frustrated
But I get it it's ok
It's alright we had to fight
The battles within ourselves externally and verbally
I remember when I called you fat
I didn't really know what it meant
I didn't know it would hurt you like that and
I felt so bad
I remember when grandma died
When you cried and cried and cried and so did I
Only because you were
I know I was always an annoying little kid
I remember at fourteen you fled to grandpas house and
I would soon follow because the pain became too much
I faltered and fell away slowly at first
But eventually my clarity was few and far between and
You became mean
'We don't want you here leave'
So at eighteen I put on my shoes and walked away into the distance
No more armed resistance to your pleas for abandonment
If you would've told me what to say or who to tell it to maybe I would've told somebody
Now we bounce off each other like transferred energy
A steel ball see saw pendulum
But we get along

Dear Flawless Fairy,
I write to You with good and bad news
First of all, on a positive note,
You are the moon
I can't tell You how great it feels
To finally find You
My sunshine saunter
Was a worthless wander
Before Your cool caress
Graced my heart
-
Now for the negative,
I no longer feel sad and blue
I know this sounds like I didn't lose and
I didn't
But now I cannot write my frowns down
I only smile because You make everything worthwhile
I used to pen depression on paper
With sarcastic laughter pretending I enjoyed it
But I didn't
Though I wrote such heavy heartache
I couldn't wait for my clouds to break
Allowing me to shine on
Your beautiful face

So I regret to inform you all
I won't be pouring my tear filled soul out anymore
I know how much you enjoyed the pain
But I can't help but refrain from these failed feelings
I don't believe in them

I've been moonstruck at midnight
She once was crescent and
Now is full of my bright
I once was clouded and
Now She reflects my light
Back upon me
I'm so happy :)
She is my beautiful celestial body
She is my elegant flawless fairy <3

Take a deep breath
The kind that fills your chest
Puffs you up proud
You've always known your strong suit
That royal flush tuxedo you wear
Bearing the crest of failure and regret
You feel so formal sporting it
A fancy way of hiding your true shame
This isn't the poker game you wanted to play
But regardless it's Texas hold you down and
You're friends are the jokers wild
Time to show em whose best
Lay your cards down

Are you sure You're not a musician?
You've struck a chord within me
A tightening tension
A violin bow with fresh rosin
Drug across a string to sing
A welcoming friction
Note of pure joy

If I didn't know any better
I'd swear You were
A world renowned composer
You've made sweet music of my love  
It's penetrated my body and mind  

You've brought upon me
A kind of symphony
I never imagined I could find
Like it
Your every movement
Is a motion of Your majesty
Each phrase is a graceful melody

What I heard before was loneliness
I listened time and again
Over and over
Until You swept in and changed the key and
Played for me a masterpiece

It sounds great
When You arpeggiate
Your adulation for We
Every interval an integral
Part of Our pleasure
One by one
Each note an ode to Us
Ascending the scales of
Our hearts

We both intertwine
Like a divine hymn sung by angels
In a church built by fond feelings and
Free of devils

We will sing Our song
To the open sky
Letting all who hear know why
We were meant for each other

You are and
Will always be
My
Conductor of comfort

Once upon a time in spring
While red roses aroused in flowering
A seed was planted
A prime source for
A coming fount of love

What better time than now?
For Our roots to rise upward
As We become entangled
Twisting to break free from the ground
Hatching the stem to bring Us to light

We arise to the welcoming sun
Standing before the lake below
Our senses tingling in anticipation
Of the emotion before Us

To find love We must begin
To take the plunge
So take my hand
We'll jump the cliff and
Wake the water and
Submerse Ourselves in each other

Now lust has commenced and
We've birthed Our commitment
With each rejuvenating gesture
As companions We climb closer
To the surface of Our desire

Soon summer sighs
As We lock eyes laying in the grass
A vibrance of color surrounds
A resounding chorus of nature and laughter all around

The sun can hide behind the clouds
Because Your smile shines
Eventually the heat will break that shroud
But not now

We have saved the daylight
Sealing each moment with Our lips
We are the finest development
Of what it feels to find perfection

Or so We both thought
With Our bodies in a bind
Our future is what We had and fought for
We are beauty prior to decline

The breeze is blowing through Our sentiment
A crisp bite of a coming closing cold
We still held on tight to it

But we sank and resurfaced and
Burned Our adoration unknown
Of the fast fall

Autumn sets in
Bringing an aura that hangs
As the harvest yields nothing for Us

Our hearts remain aligned
But restlessness runs through the back of Our minds
We couldn't foresee Our experience would have consequence
We moved too quick while jumping to conclusions

When We're in need
The speed of living only happens at one pace
With a chance meeting
We are now reaping what We've sown

If We could have seen the repercussions
That would inevitably sprout from that seed
Would We return to our lonely buried discussions?
Be sure to never allow results like these again

Instead Our memories cling to the trees
With each leaf falling one by one
Every kiss and embrace suffocating the earth
The temperature spirals steadily downward

The first winter frost befalls Us
The flakes descending to
Freeze Our feelings in time

We follow fate
We decline

Drifting away
Drowning in Our decay
Of snow and ice that
Finally took the life and
Left Us alone again

Our dreary adversity was over
In cold inertia
We are still in the night

Spring showers fed budding love
Summer gave time to grow
But in autumn it seemed appropriate We'd fall and
Hit a weeping winter wall

These patterns repeat
Maybe We rushed and
Shouldn't have hurried

We dove so deep into We
It worked well periodically
But We were suffocating

Our eyes began wandering
Our questions and thoughts
Recurring

Was it worth it?
A yearlong parallel of the weather
We parted ways in frigid fashion
But there's always another new coming season

So as the sky now sprinkles it's mist
The scent of soil rises to replenish
I carve a bed into this ground once more and
Wait for the next shower
To bring me a mate with whom I can share this flower

How fragile we are
To be finite beings
In infinite wonder and
Wandering

How frail we are
To block out the life giving sun
With the shade of technology and
The shroud of mass media
While still somehow managing to
Shelter ourselves from reality

Take a step back and
Take a look up
Everyone would benefit from this
But to ask it of all
Would be an order too tall

Some of us can
See straight through the clouds
To the truth beyond and
We know there is a burning answer

But don't let that fool you
Because let's face it:

Not every question
Has the right response
Not every problem
Was meant to be resolved
Everything happens for a reason
I'm told
But the hardest part
Is figuring out if it's good or bad

It's called life
Because you have to be there
To live it and
Prove that you're alive

It's called laughter
Because you have to lean back and
Let go and
Just let it happen

It's called love
Because you have to really try and
Learn from each other
To make it legitimate and
Lasting and
Real

So I don't mean to discourage any of you
Because everything is going to be quite alright
Just don't forget when your time comes
To be fearless and ready to fight

If life is a building
With infinite floors
We are on the same level
Behind the same door

If love is a book
With every single name
We are right beside each other
On the same page

We are corresponding wavelengths Synchronized swimmers
Through the sea of dreams

We were radio static in a storm
Until we turned each other's dials and
Tuned in to one another

Beneath Us We will plant Our seeds
Letting roots flow together from Our feet
Above Us there is room to grow
Our limbs will stretch for all to know
We are one, and
We have won

We will lay bricks
As stable foundation
Become masters of masonry
Without building a wall between
Us

You will no longer ache
With anger in Your bones
You will not feel so weak
Or scared and alone
We will not let these monsters
Rest inside You
Only to escape and
Paint Your face red with streaks

If We are crying
It's because We are overcome by happiness and
It's overwhelming and
We are overjoyed and
Other positive 'over' words
We will always be each other's
Shoulders to soak

We are a simultaneous song
Sung by sirens
To draw Us into one another
Chanting and charming Our souls

Thank the temptress
For showing me a goddess
I was a sinking ship
Waving flags of distress
Until I was brought to
The beauty of You

Your heavenly body
Heart beating beside me
My majestic marvelous moon

Love,
The Sun

I feel like I'm the grass and You're the rain, because the only time I grow is when skies are gray
We both know this is true, that I'm brightest when I'm drenched in You and
Now the sun shines and brings the rays, and Your water dries up and the flames will blaze
I need to be soaked in You, to stay alive, or else I'll start dying at the roots, I won't survive
Could have guessed the wind was all it would take, to turn thick to thin and fog to mist and rid me of my haziness
You left too fast and all I ask is give me back my overcast, I get comfort in shade
The heat is beating down and random spots are turning brown
I'm warm on a summers day but that's never been enough to make me ok
I'm dehydrating, with each moment passing, it seems this might be everlasting
We used to have the best front yard on the street, then You left, now it's filled with sticks and leaves, and dirt
I'm weak and withered You know **** well it hurts and
The weeks will pass and the months will turn from the day you let that fire burn
In springtime I hope You'll return with a downpour that will quench my thirst

Fresh from the lathe
Your bedpost pillar stands
In support of the canopy above

A quarter of the strength needed to Elevate You upwards from the
Floor below

A wooden column polished and
Created to collect
Hurt souls in notches

A monumental mast to be
Molded by martyred men
Out of love for You
-•-

So it begins
It's first nick comes as
A scar that dents the fine finish
An eyesore incision

The same as trash to treasure
One mans pain becomes
Your pleasure portrayed as
A slash across the room

Etched so deeply
The engraving as an epitaph for
A damaged embrace of failed love

With chisel in hand
You prepare Yourself to
Chop and hack Your way
Through honest men's lives

Consuming all in a
Sculpting effort to find what
You are truly looking for

Unknowing Your actions are a
Mere aimless diversion from
Living and existing as
Your own shallow self
-•-

This is just the start
As more come and go
Loving hearts are carved in
One by one and staked down to
Your ground

Chipping and scratching away
Bits of wooden passion
Fall in flakes and splinters that
Gather to cover the carpet

With good looks and a shiny smile
The gaps in Your picket post grow
Gashes that grind down and
Gnaw away with sharp selfish teeth

These grooves are reflective of
Your own emotion
But You refuse to let Yourself
Slow the pace until
You have reduced this
Upright support to a skinny stick

Your bedstead now an homage to Constantly diminishing attempts to
Shape Your life in love
-•-

When will You be satisfied that
It's finally been cut down to size?

Each slice doesn't change the score
Every sliver shaved away leaves Your heart
Your will
Raw and sore

Trimming little by little
Allowing hearts to crumble
A work of art You've whittled in a
Destructive stumble through
Crushed people

The indentions You've made
Are what have disintegrated
Your shame

You've let them erode
Eat and wear away
Weaken and grind down
Your heart and souls true desire to
Devote Yourself to
Just one man who will stay

You thought You could never align
With a single indent for all time

Now do You would realize that
You should have waited to
Watch what You'd been
Creating all along?

The bed has collapsed
Your bedpost is now
A jewelry box
-•-

Kneeling in reverence
Apprehensively opening the lid to
Reveal its contents

You find nothing except emptiness
The same as the
Company of the room You're in

No more places to tally tick marks
No more hearts left to hurt
No more bodies remain to
Cut and burn

Let the leaning sleep and the
Loneliness serve as a
Reminder of Your reckless abandon

No ring will ever reside in Your box
Your finger will be bare forever

As punishment for Your
Torment and misery
Anguish and agony
Sadness and suffering in
Perpetual heartache

A box from a bedpost
                 </3

I will remember tomorrow what I found fruitful today
Like a sudden symptom come alive
A cavity
Decaying my roots
The trees I grew up climbing
Rhyming limb after limb

I broke my right leg twice
Once while jumping off the jungle gym
Holding Chip and Dale stuffed animals
With a beaming smile in my elementary hands
Back then it meant more

Another time broken again to
Remind myself this can still happen
It's always happened
The fracture
The departure
The flight from here or there and
Farther

Look it's like a crutch
Holding you up
Or holding you back
Remember breaking your arm
When you could've broken your back
For lack of a better word:
Dramatic
Fell from a fence
As dense as my youth and
Made as much sense as you or I do
But I tumbled head over feet
To have a meet and greet handshake with the grass that kicked my ***

The tears ran down my face as if
Disgrace had painted my way
I walked the long way around Because stopping to think or look behind me
Apparently wasn't an option

Still crying tears of embarrassment
I said they pushed me but they didn't
A full circle fall
Back to where I started
Uninjured and insured
Go to bed back to where I started again
In the morning my bruises will be fresh
As last night with the sunset
But now the orange juice brings it out best
And my army is broken
Acknowledged at last
Cast in blue
Singing my favorite colour
Thinking the authorities will
Swoop in and take my mother

But they had another thing coming

Me

Broken bleeding
Disorganized obsessively
Compulsive jealous
User taker
Bridge breaker

Me

It may be true that love does not make the world go 'round
But it is the warmth that makes my heartbeats pound
Its force the sun and I the earth turning as it burns
I've been told the bigger they come the harder they hit the ground
But I've found it's the size of your heart that determines to whom you are bound
The dimensions of our bodies serve only as suits to surround our souls
I know a heart that's breaking makes an awful sound
It's a mirror that's shattering and a thousand howling hounds, in mourning

Those wounds will heal, though the pain is profound, and another hearts heat will be coming around

Why would I ever venture to guess
That you would be willing to meet me halfway?
My empty attempts are wasted endeavors
I give it my best shot
In pursuit of mutual presence
A hesitant undertaking that
Solicits the same solidarity I strive to stifle
I know I'm a hindering burden that
Overloads you like a snow covered tree
Still clinging on to its leaves
Never letting them go until they're
Weighed down and overloaded
A strain crack break
Brings it down in a thunderous sound
To handshake the ground
I am a huge hassle that hugs his hostile self
Grabbing his own handful heart
Holding it in the air as a sign to declare
Sorry for the inconvenience
I've been rocked goodbye
The wind didn't blow
It was snow that broke me
The bow never budged
It was the entire tree that plummeted
A swift fall to bring my cradle and all
Crashing so you no longer have to sit

He is an open sore
Hopeless romantic
A blister that burns burgundy
A stalemate of statistics
Gathered blind in a
Swarming rage undercurrent

She is an inspiring
Inhale breath with
Intoxicated integrity
A baby bird at the bar
Waiting for her feathers
To be felt in between his fingertips

He buys her a drink
A liquor love potion that won't work
An ethanol elixir that will
Only serve to
Even out her inhibitions and
Cloud the memory of
His hands taking flight

She takes shots one after another
As he feeds her them like bullets
Drunken target practice
Waiting for the one where
He hits the mark
That spot right next to her heart

He knows it's only a matter of time
A recipe of patience and
A fresh paycheck
As he checks his watch
Wishing the time would tick
Faster and closer to two

Forcing them outside into the night
They fly
Leaving the bar behind
They fly

He takes her hand and
Puts her head against his chest
Cradling her
The baby bird
In his raven grasp
Taking off
Taking her
They fly

Since Your soul was sad and
Longed for me
My goal in life will forever be
To open Your eyes to
See Your beauty

Your wings will spread and
Take fairy flight
You are a perfect pixie in the night
You dance with the wind
As a butterfly kite and
Waltz with the moon
By his lunar light

Playful and impish
Your smile breaks the sorrow
We no longer must wish
For a happier tomorrow
We are together today

The magic in me comes from the
Power in She
Her supernatural spirit
Fills me with energy
A kind before I'd never conceived

She is a safe siren for me
That has intervened and
Showed me an entirely
Surreal state of being
So much so I question my sanity

Each morning awakened by Your face
A golden glow that fills my empty space
I will know I'm not crazy when I say
We were formed as corresponding shapes
Together as one We were carved from clay
[sorry Ben gibbard ;) <3]

Separated before but joined at last
Our future is now and
We forgive Our pasts
We will take it as lessons and shadows cast
Our presence together is infinite and vast

I am the sun and
You are the moon
In a constant chase
Keeping you on the move
If you slow the race and
Let me catch up with you
I promise to bring
Us something brand new

Do you believe and trust that it's true?
That I can Your super glue
Keep You from breaking apart when You're blue
Hold You together like
Wood and screws at
Your splitting seams

You are the rafters and
Beams above me
My comfort and
Structure resounding
A beautiful building of safety
Surrounding my love
Creating shelter and serenity

You are my sweetie
My darling
My baby
When You hear this my dear
I am hoping that maybe
You will open your arms and
Embrace these feelings
You are the aura
With which I want to be

Melanie heard a knock at the door
Unaccustomed to visitors
She apprehensively answered said knock

Melanie heard a crash on the floor
Behind her her dinner lay face down
Black cat lapping up the mess

She screamed the same kind as damsels in distress
She wouldn't have minded so much
If she wasn't so ******* poor

Phantom kitty hungry gesture feed me
The stranger stood by and
Knocked again once more

Melanie coulda swore she heard a second knock
Looked at the clock ticking midnight
She tore open the door to find nothing

Melanie felt emptiness
Melanie saw the moon
Melanie knew she would be dead soon

It's not so easy to see yourself
As a single second in a minute
A fleeting moment
A fraction of movement

It doesn't help that every minute
Is contained within an hour
Twenty four to bring you
An opening and closure

One hour in a day
Consists of sixty minute men
Marching silently
In the shelter of many more

A day drifts by title less
A chunk of driftwood in a
Tidal wave of insignificance
Though they culminate in months

They come in dozens
Empty egg cartons
Wishing we could all be bakers
To add another extra annual memory

A year in youth
Lasts longer than
Your favorite pair of shoes

A lifetime is lived
In the people we embrace and
Inside the presence we give

Our minds write with a pendulum
Rocking back and forth
With intangible wisdom

A seismograph epitaph
Incomplete heartbeat
Static electro pulse
Failing

My life looks like my handwriting
Sloppy
Messy
Barely legible

Your love for me is calligraphy
A fluid movement of the heart
A cursive caress
A swift swoop of your stylus

My anger is stenciled onto me
In big block letters
Up and down both arms burning
To a furious fire in my hands

Your laughter uplifts me
An entire alphabet sings within it
It's another language
Filled with well wished words of wisdom

My sadness speaks to me
It's become my best friend
Whispering softly in my ear
That something has gone terribly wrong here
What I've worried about all along has now arrived

Your beauty is deafening
It came at me yelling and screaming
In an uproar that made me feel ugly
An unparalleled audible pretty
Before the silence muted me
You said everything I could ever ask for in a muse

I believe you can help my hurt
By leading by example
Showing and teaching me
The hand gestures of a happy life
The signs to communicate love
A beautiful return of sounds
A loud anger and
Sadness barrier breaker
Taking them away

When I hear this song and
My nothing becomes something
Then I will talk and hear again

As You sleep soundly
I have a profound longing
To hear your voice
But I'll stay silent
Allowing You to have
Your beautiful violet dreams

It is the color of the power inside You
The fire that drives You
Your strength and stamina
Make Your spirit bleed
Radiant indigo ink
I need it to sink into my skin
With cleansing rejuvenation
I will be baptized by Your beauty and
Blessed by Your holy heart

You are my profound prophet
You sing me scripture
Every time You speak
You are my divine deity
I lay at Your feet
Praying I deserve to feel
Your loving heat

Your clairvoyance purifies me
With Your open oracle spirit
Spouting moonshine mysteries
In magical mountain memories
Dancing through Your mind and
Coming alive inside your eyes
For all to see the
Blessing of life free of disguise

Inside you is
The value of so much:
The heart I hold so dear.
The soul that stands beside me.
Destroying my fear and
As I watch it disappear
I thank the Earth for
Helping you find me

We both revolve around the same world
I am the sun shining in adoration
You are the magnificent moon
Making sure I am safe
I am the warmth to guide You home
While You roam nights alone
I hope You know
I'm always going to be here when day breaks

I worship Your grace
Because the kind lines of Your face
Have proven to me
You are worthy of it
Your being allows the ocean to move
So I want to crash into it
Burning out but covered in
Anything You have touched

Except I won't
Because I know You need me
An inferno aflame
For my full moon baby

I can remember growing up in my car
That year of not so sweet sixteen
As my line of sight aligned with my knuckles and
Further to the cyclops viewfinder windshield
That showed me the world through its
Cracks of heat expansion and cold contraction

I remember getting ice cream with a girl once and
Realizing that high school never was one of Baskin Robbins 32 flavors
Maybe that's why I never bought into it or liked the taste
Feeling it to be a waste of time

I remember driving by the school
Bright and early in morning
Deciding today was not my day and I'm not going
Because I was always too cool
Or more accurately too foolish to see the point of it all

I remember drug filled days passing by in a daze slowly but surely
But in my mind they drift by like a cigarette drag in my memory
Subsequently with each inhale and exhale

I remember the day I chose to walk the halls like a ghost and
Make as little impact as I possible
As far as I'm concerned I was fairly successful

I remember not knowing what it meant to be a sophomore
Only that as the pain progressed I was beginning to feel more and more soft

It's hard being the ****** in the vehicle
It's a vicious vessel to handle

Four grades in a classroom
Three years in my backseat
Two days in jail
One life to live

When I was sixteen
I wish this wasn't the future
Now it's my past

It's one of the saddest songs I've ever heard and
Even when I write words to try to change it
It crashes like a schizophrenic bird
Thinking this circle is magical
A twist coming round and round and back again
Then smashing into windows

A child was looking out of a window
It was bring your blank to work day
So he was clearly bored as ****
Mom typing rapid fire
Introducing him to people he could give a **** about

But then he saw a bird
What was it about this bird?
The airplane angle it had
The intent to take the structure down
Kid flipped the **** out and said
'Mom look!'

Mother takes a sip of water
Turns her attention to the world
To realize she's about to die
The crazy bird is a flight
Taking flight into a building
Reverse Legos

September eleventh was a minus sign
Doesn't only happen to us though

Blessed be the death of me
The one and only holy thing I will ever do
Grant me the grace to save face
I loved you all but it's just too much
I've never seen divinity in your trinity
There is a holy war being fought inside my heart
There are wicked angels
Wearing fire halos flying around my head
Threatening to crash and
Burn my mind and
Inside out from my chest
An unwelcome spiritual dissent
I have no faith in your god fearing fathers
I will humbly halve my heart
For the lack of all healing
None of us are righteous rebels
We all stab each other with our sins
With grins on our faces
Great gleaming deceptive teeth bite
Tears tear from my eyes like paper
Rip the pages out of your bibles and
Write a brand new blasphemy
Vile sacrilegious lies with sight glaring
Irreverent immoral makeshift innocence
Devout glory for the ignorant many
Forced fury for the unfaithful few
Hallowed be thy name
Messianic pure morality
Saint sacrosanct
I pray to the sun to extinguish
Or explode to end my anguish
The only thing I truly believe
Is blessed be the death of me

It took a lot for me to learn
To not speak in absolutes
Statements that climb ladders
But quickly fall in chutes
Sentences that build you up
Tall enough to fall flat on your face

Beggars become choosers
Quitters become losers
Nobody likes a quitter
Not with that attitude

I will never
I will never say never
I will never say never again

You've seen everything through my pulse, and
Yet I've lost sight in this empty cavity
A hole, hollow and holistic
Wholehearted and devoid of warmth
As if to thaw on a bed of roses
It feels graceful, tragic,

Reflective of Being
The bane of empathy
The sting of truth and honesty
Respective of living, living;

Eventually You will be replaced
In this heart shaped hole in my chest
Wholeheartedly

What greater gift could be given to me
Than that of a canvas staring blankly
Awaiting it's first brushstroke
In a flash a slash of color across its face

This potential has been placed before me
Like a puzzle piece from my memory
I will fill this void with my living energy
I will compose music for your eyes to see
I will write poetry for your heart to read visually

The power in my hands to put pigment upon paper
To portray a picture that depicts my inner nature
It's a purely creative endeavor

I pour myself into the paint
Each masterpiece contains part of me

In harmonious rhythm
I stain to stimulate
I dye to add drama
I shade to give grace

With an acrylic aesthetic
A cosmetic elegance
An oil overlay
A washing watercolor
The media is mine to design
Each line to represent my life

My gallery tells a story
Ever changing and growing
Forever framing and flowing
To draft love in a sensitive showing
Of my true self in painting

I thought my heart would explode if I saw You
But then I did, and I didn't even miss You
We caught a glance, and I barely recognized You and
For a moment, our romance was never true

You gave the look that You give to every passerby
I stood frozen feeling fear that I'd start asking why
We didn't last, didn't work, didn't work out
Instead that glimpse replenished me with promise, no doubt

In my mind and in my heart and in the now I know this
We're so much different when together and We didn't notice
We'd slowly surely grow apart from what We thought We wanted
We need no one to justify ourselves but always counted

On each other to provide the pieces that were missing
But truth be told, We were whole, and only reminiscing
On love that's passed, We moved too fast and ended in disaster
You poked and prodded, burned and bothered, You became my master

You kept me going but were slowing down my sense of safety
The wounds kept healing but the scars remain to tell the story
Of a boy and girl who fell in love and planned to marry
Through thick and thin they'd be together until they were buried

But sure enough You did your worst and I just couldn't take it
I packed my bags and left and moved ahead without a ticket
Didn't know where I was going but it didn't matter
Hoping that I had escaped before my heart had shattered

When things get bad and sometimes  worse I tend to think of You
Your mental image branded on me (and within me) but it isn't true
That calling You and running back will help, I doubt You've changed
I can't forgive You, though I want to, so it's here I'll stay

It's been so long, I'm moving on and since I've found another
It isn't perfect, doesn't need to be we have each other
We aren't like we were and we both agree that we'll have battles
But in the end we will be fine when all the dust has settled :)

Your rants and raves are really jokes
Not everything that happens is planned and hoaxed
You live your life in paranoid anxiety
'The government is out to get me!'
All events are viewed as conspiracy
Even in light of true tragedy

You put a spin on victims emotions
Insisting there must be more to the story
You thrive on scandals
They're like handles that drive you
Your rumors humor me

We watch the news as politicians falsify
Every word said is meant to forward their cons and lies
However this may be the deception you crave
Just go with the gossip
It's all crime
It's all fraud
It's all hearsay

They all have schemes
They all have scams
But will you allow their crimes
To cheat and swindle their way into your mind?

Of course you will
Buying into fake feelings
You fabricate your reality
We can't remove their ***** linen
So why don't we all commit
Treacherous treason?

By all means be aware and informed
But be fair warned
Our opinions play an insignificant role
In issues that go beyond our control

The Internet has proven itself a poisonous tool
I'm using it to show you that you are all fools
Myself included

Get a grip and
Lighten up
Lets make the most of it
Because apparently
It's all corrupt

In your slaughterhouse solitude
You've butchered rationale from your mind
It seems reason just doesn't want to rhyme with your life
You've hacked away at happiness
Left nothing for it to cling to

Now sinking into sadness
You're trying to find what that can bring you
It's depressing
The damage a meat cleaver can do to your head
Along with the other rattle brained cattle
Aligned and angry
A silent herd
Longing to be heard by anyone

The belt moves and
The blood thickens
The inevitable inches closer
A steel rod to bring you closure
Cut you off from this
Cold world exposure

But you can reverse this
Even though you've rehearsed this
In your heart of hearts you know
Your conscience speaks
Don't do this
Jump off and
Hit that emergency stop button
It's bright red you can't miss it
Put there as a lifeline to
Dismiss your pain
A backup escape so that you can convey
Your true desire to live

In this motionless state
Breathe
Don't think about me or
Anyone else
Only yourself
The hurt has halted and
You've hopped off that ****** train
You will not be slain from anguish
Instead allow the clarity to
Carve itself within you

My heart is a massive immaculate fallacy
if I may attempt to say so myself with a queer face
My heart is a subtle severe explosion
if I don't ride that lightening I will crash as it's thunder
My heart is a make believe fairytale friend
if I don't make it to the ending where do I begin?
My heart is a heavy slave ship anchor
if I don't row my boat then I will never find my dreams
My heart is a hostile emotional terrorist
if I don't express myself my chest will rip

My heart is synonymysterious
My heart is honesterical

My heart plays anxie-tee-ball
with future failing children
My heart knocks on the door of the nervous fear
My heart loves
or lack thereof

My heart is a bag of loose screws
someone drive these
My heart is the face in the firelight
someone ignite me
My heart tells me I'm young
drink up

I heard my life in mono before I met You
We became stereo
Me: channel left
You: panned right;
A cohesive strengthening of sound
A mutual clatter of turbulence, with such underlying beauty
Only we knew the clamor was best for Us, though no one believed
As the cacophony grew, Your speaker buzzed and squawked
I played unaware, loving the crescendo
-
Eventually, as stereos do, You
Shorted out
Grew weaker and weaker with each
Note; melodies were crumbling
I fiddled with the wires,
Hoping, wanting both sides of our discord to stay true
-
Then you were silent
Eerily and I kept screaming
Roaring with a clatter that could have blown my own side of this
Disquiet. You were muted, hushed
Now I hear but half of my life
The left remains;
The right, You, are not even
Static, and I pray for mono
Again

If and when I can't shed tears, and
It happens now and then,
Through the years
That clear and harmless way to feed
Your bitter sodium pain to the floor
Nothing shed but flows instead
Through this pen I bleed
The ink might as well be red, it is
Black,
As my suffering,
As the ducts in the corners of my
Eyes so dry
But meaningless letters scratched onto blank slates
Are formed into shapes crafted only because of You
My wounded soul seeps through this
Ball point knife I removed from my back
You did it again, as well I knew You would

I don't believe the people I see and the strangers I meet even enjoy the fact that I breathe, through their greedy eyes all they see is a worthless carbon dioxide expelling oxygen stealing machine that's wasting precious space they reserved for themselves or at least another somebody they feel is free, which can't be me because I'm sitting here absorbing their stares and soaking up their thoughts that I can actually hear audibly as a scream shouting 'Leave! Leave! Run! Flee!'
So I do, I take off in a sprint in the other direction where more eyes glare pair by pair flooding me with despair leaving me choking for air, the same air that blows my hair but belongs to them so I hold my breath for blue cheeks to make sure I'm being fair, I wouldn't want to presume upon them or assume they're willing to share because clearly they don't want me here, and they didn't want me there
'Leave! Leave! Run! Flee!'
It's ringing in my skull now, the words bouncing around like a basketball rebound, a round rubber reflection in motion thumping against my temple repeatedly, and I obey what they say because I think maybe this time I'll find a way out of here and arrive in the company of those that don't envy that which they can't see and will truly let me be calm and breathe.
'Leave! Leave! Run! Flee!'
With history repeating itself time and time again I'm gone and going and I keep performing the same actions expecting different results which I'm sure is the definition of insanity, but it's all I've ever known and it has worked a time or two for a couple of memories here or there, ultimately temporary just waiting for the next event that has me on my feet and running again.
'Leave! Leave! Run! Flee!'
Who's coming with me?

Nobody, always the same thing, so here goes nothing, maybe that will bring me something
'Leave! Leave! Run! Flee!'

The elderly skin on my heart
Is thin but will no longer stretch tight again
Like a baby girls innocent cheeks grin
My senior citizen love comes at no discount

It's free to anyone who wishes to
Count the wrinkles on my arms and legs
The scars of time
Face it
Age is not a number it's a place

The youth of my youngness short lived
Took a toll on my skeleton
Bare ***** attitude toward commitment
I give it away as skin cells turned to dust
Never would've guessed it would be
In my chest

I still have a certain amount of elegance
There's a smaller fire in my heart sight
Kept my cardiac eyes as peeled as I could

The fight fought genuinely
But never without naïveté
How can it be this shocking?
The overall life EKG

Oh I know I'm only twenty something
Don't think I'm trying to act mature
You've made it clear I'm another heart sore
But your words bounce around my skull and
In my chest

Age is ageless memories
Numbers are mathematics
My heart attack tactics
Have grown my heart love decrepit old
So if you hold my hearts hand
Stand for something
Please

If I hold your hand and
You flow through my heart
Understand I'm more than willing to
Start again from day one again

Just forgive the crevices in my sternum permeating my heart skin

The best dream I ever had went by far too fast
It had me lying in the grass looking up
Resting next to blades blowing
Inward as I inhaled

A swirl flowing up and outward
In all directions the wind whirled
A washing machine around me
Wailing and wanting me to get carried away

But I maintained a straight arrow
Stare at the stars and
Saw so many of them shooting
I swear they were
Cosmic passing cars
A traffic jam of celestial
Extraterrestrial vehicles

In this lucid moment
I had that same epiphany
That we all have had consciously
One time or another in the same
Seemingly safe serenity

We are sand

Watching pebbles fly far away
Some already lived their lives
But still wink their eyes at us

Others hit the brink and
Try to breach our safety
A questionable security

As I see through this
My eyes align with clarity
I open my arms and
Allow the spin cycle to to complete
It's cleansing

I realize I'm soaked to the bone
With the wind knocked out of me
Again looking skyward without cyclone

I heave to catch my breath
But I know it was never really thrown
Through each huff and puff
I feel at peace with the unknown

I start to wonder if in this dream
I have a handful of quarters
To start the dryer

But then again it dawns on me
Wet with wisdom is where I want to be

Eyes open awake shut
Them forever

I want to test the structural durability of my body
See the strength of my skin
Bite and break my bones
Shed and finger paint with my blood
At least then I could finally make a mess
My OCD clean up everything mentality
Thrown to the wind blowing and
Yet again bending backwards
With a cut throat slit neck decision
A split second mind numbing category
Of guess which allegory I'll use next
A fixed gear fear with one pedal
Driving the next one ahead of the other
Unable to feel the free wheel coast through life I desire
So I say I again
I need to know how strong I am

As You lay in slumber
I ask You to always remember
The man from December

The one who has written words for You for years
The one who has You scrawled across his heart
The shining sun searching for his moon
Chasing You

As You awake at dawn
I ask You to never forget We belong
To each other

The cracks in Our souls filled
The love in Our limbs finally allowed to live
The missing pieces of Our minds replaced and
Mended once again

As You go about Your day
I ask You to know that You are ok
You no longer need to be afraid ;
You never did

Beneath Your wings I am a gentle wind
Arms around You We are safe
Hands upon You with love to send
Heart within You devoid of hate

As dusk falls
I ask You to recall
The man whose soul You share

It was not stolen
It is not robbery
You are not a thief
I gladly give it to You
You have restored my belief
In everything

As the night creeps in
I ask You to begin again
Believing and trusting in me

Because the adoration You see
Is really Yourself
You are the wealth that I have won
You are the beauty and
The divine reason
Together anything can happen

You are the moon and
I am the sun
Joined at last
In unison

if there is any truth to
time healing all things
then how many years does it take to coagulate this pain and
dry it up with a scar there to remain so
I will have forgiven but
never forgotten
what it was that happened?

It's been hundreds of hours and
millions of minutes and
countless seconds since but
regardless it's still vivid

the colors are brighter
the sounds louder
the struggle longer and
the guilt greater

there were long stretches where
I completely forgot
I put a band aid over it that
matched my skin and
it blended in so well
until the edges start to
turn red from the
open wound beneath
that flows steadily and
it all comes flooding back to me
a plague upon my memory

maybe at one point
this sore was getting better but
like a little kid I picked at the scab and
any progress that was made
was all lost and
I'm right back where I started with ****** elbows and
scraped knees
just
remembering
remembering
remembering

so I can't wait for this
blister to birth me a scar
it will be a defect on my actions and
a blemish that drives my motions
flaws hurt but they show the world why sometimes beauty comes as a slash across your entire life and

I find it attractive

I flood the world
While water fills my eyes
But you survive
Because you've built an ark of lies
You've gathered two of every kind
For forty days and forty nights
The rain fell
The plan was divine in back of your mind
The walls around me
Have me drowning in a well
You forced the storm to come and
Swallow everyone

I wish I was Jonah
In a whale in the sea
Tucked away underneath everything
In a deep dark empty belly
Hungering for anything

I've tried to fight like David
Tackle my towering demons
Grab my Goliath guilt and
Get over my greedy jealous feelings

But instead I'm Daniel
Lost in a den of lions
The threat surrounds me
Closing in
But nothing ever happens

In mutual misery, we found it comforting we weren't completely alone
We were planning, preparing and speaking and sharing, there was much we had yet to be shown
We harnessed our sadness, and all of our madness, and blinded and beat down our angst
But beneath our belligerence there was a persistent longing for future and change

We both were pent up, and fully fed up, and said 'we'll get the hell out of this town'
If just for a short time, we'll hop in and start driving west with intentions unknown and
Probably, maybe, we'll find ourselves saving ourselves by just waiting it out
It seemed so far away when we'd all move together and be happy at home in our house

And
Then out of nowhere, but probably somewhere deep down inside you found fate
You didn't look further than right where you were for her and I must admit you look great and
I can't let jealousy take hold of the best of me, don't think I am trying to blame
I remember you saying that this didn't matter, but now I see it's not the same

In the middle of all this, I was slipping unconsciously under the weight of my thoughts
I knew you'd been set free, and wanted to help me, but I knew not what I sought
I turned down the volume, and in turn was consumed entirely with what I should do
I imagined you smiling, while making new memories, and wanted the same for me too

Your time is now spoken for, not like it was before when weekends were spent working out the kinks
You need her, I know this, I'm trying to show this, with each word and each kiss, I'm missing it all in a blink
I'm sure I'll be ok, I feel better these days, I've learned to let go of my stress
I know in due time I'll be getting what's mine and we both will be at our best

So long story short, I wrote this to report, to say that we will always be fine
Let's try to forget, but have no regrets, and make the most of each moment in time
But try to remember, I'm always around, and want to come down, to the places where you plan to be
We'll share time together, in life and forever, in harmony eternally :)

I am the emotional roller coaster
You no longer wish to ride
I am the operator
Pushing levers that leave
Devastation
Sadness
Lies
I lie to myself every time I say I'm
Not in love with you
True I've tried to shake it
But I'm not a wet dog
Though I look it
This wet tear soaked fear
Cannot be shaken off
I feel the scoff you make
At my heartbreak
You see the subtraction
I draw like a backwards mathematician
We will never work and
I'm aware of that being manual labor
I'm under construction
Or rather the pre build destruction
Precisely timed building demolition
Once I've leveled myself and my head
We can start from the ground up again

I bet you know how the winds of a story blow
You've felt them flow through your hair with ease
From a strong gust to a slight breeze

I'm sure you've seen what the words in the weather mean
The sky has spelled it out and spoken to you
Screaming storms or softly staying serene

I fear that you've felt the fire of the frost bite
A ferocious cold fever flowing through you
A frozen reminder of your failure

I hope you've heard the song of the blizzard
It's the same one that brought those teeth but
With a message in a melody sounding underneath

I think you've had a taste of ticking time
A bittersweet bite of moments
Some seconds savory
Some sour and stick around longer to form hours

I trust that you've learned the truth in fading youth
The progress of conviction and
The consistency protest

But now I ask you to live the love of life
Nothing else can bring existence justice
Catharsis

Inquest 
Is it better to have 
Loved and
Lost and
Learned the 
Lecture of 
Life; unavailing 

Or be it 
Simple and
Stay
Silent and
Survey the
Selfless shadow of solitary

I have
Yet to
Yield a
Yearning for
Yesterday; I am 
Young