Innocent eyes search my face
Will she understand my plea?
Does she know how hard it is?
Can she teach what I can't yet see?

Little hands shooting up
Hoping for a "Job well done"
Eager to achieve and impress
Desperate to not be the foolish one

Innocent eyes search my face
Will she understand my plea?
Does she know how hard it is?
Can she learn what she can't yet see?

Little hands reaching up
Hoping to speak without speech
Eager to trust her to know what's best
Desperate for her to still teach

Overwhelmed by the eyes and hands
That trust so willingly
Overjoyed by the eyes and hands
That show me what I can be

I’m looking out the window,
Because after all that the most I can do
It’s the closest way to get outside
I see those doors that I walked in
And realize I will NEVER get out
(well someday (soon) I will)
Things are a little exaggerated here,
But at the same time they are dumbed down

There is no worry.  No worry.

I’m looking out the window,
And thinking that I would really like to be outside,
Just because I know I can’t.
I look at the doors, seeing the nurses come
In and out
They are so lucky because they have it figured out
I think.

I think and think and think.

I’m seeing those people outside
And they are wet because it’s raining.
It’s probably raining because I’m sitting here
If I were at home I would jump around
In the puddles with my little sister
I see myself doing that on that little broken patch of sidewalk
I know that my body has lifted itself
And flown outside the window

I’m am so far gone, gone.

March 4, 2012

Is it wrong to love when you are with her?
Am I in the wrong to say you I prefer?
If I am in the wrong then don't right me.
Just let me hold on to this fantasy.

I forgive you even after all the wrong you've done
My heartstrings you play,you pluck, and sometimes strum.
Creating a song within me, a song just for us
A song played to feed the romantic lust.

Don't leave my heart hanging on the line after dried
Pull it into the safety of your heart with pride
If I am in the wrong then don't right me
Just let me hold onto this fantasy.

Forever you have been the opposite side
of the coin that is us.
Brazen with life and love and anger
where I am alight with the same,
though in different measured amounts.
We don't finish each other's sentences,
and there exists no reason why we should.
But we do share the same content in our
bold paragraphs, the same feed in our blood.

Blood.

Blood was never a choice, but friendship is,
and you are unique in that we share both.
You are a brother, a confidant, a partner in crime,
a friend, a conspirator, a business partner,
and so much more.
People remark about the nature of our bond,
and admittedly they get it wrong often,
but they remark frequently.
Too close to be normal,
too extraordinary to be labeled.

Follow where I lead and I will
follow your lead.
Such is our nature.
We seem two circling wolves.
We seem to vie for dominance.
How is it then that we are both and neither?

Who could I trust more with my secrets?
Who could I trust more with my life?
Who could I trust more with my lies?

So we circle.
So we vie.
So we live.
So we die.

he would sit in his room
and draw space ships
that could only be described
as something from star wars
or star trek

and he'd do geometry on the floor
his school books scattered
and punk music
would be playing on his
boom box

game informers stacked high
in tens and twenties
all over his bookcase
cozy against star wars
and hardy boys

the wood frame bed
simple and pure
until tainted by a name
of his first love
scratched in with passion
and heartbreak

he lied quite often
and was a sore loser
his mood usually consisted of
being short fused
and even more short fused

and then he moved
left for good
not visiting for another three years
and then three more after that
each time
he gets older
and less of the thirteen year old
i had known
when he lived
at home

Brother how l've come to miss you
Been a while since we lay you to ground
I feel so lost but what can I do
Life was more when I had you around
I remember the time of our childhood
Now time has established control
We burned through our youth as fast as we could
Never realized life was digging the hole
Now I'm just drowned in this sadness
I miss your Witt and what you were inside
Sometimes I think we all dance in madness
Hope your with mother on the other side
If you see her tell her I miss her
I think soon I will be closing these eyes
And all that I am, and all that we were
Comes to nothing ,cause everything dies.        Hy

Oh Brother,
Where art thou sympathy?
I hate to admit the obvious
But all you've got is me
And what I create
Is ours
But don't sign your name
In greed
Despite our likeness
I have my own wretched creed
Paradise needs no shelter
And if you give me a house
I'll knock down the walls
An artist may need a rich wife
But squalor's gotten me this far
And what you hold in your hands
Was created under the stars
And maybe in another life
You'll step through the paint
Swim in the colors
And see how I see
But for now I recognize
Your fear is just skin-deep
You look into my eyes
But all you see are veins
The blood we share-
How could you not compare
And wonder if you share my madness?
It's quite alright
I may not sleep at night
But your shut eyes make up the difference
In time
I'll hold your hand
If you start to fade away
But I digress-
And have been for years
Fading into my own
Oblivion-
A shade of sanguine tears