I traced your body
The day I left you.

From your brows
To your hips
To just before your toes.

I felt the way
You move with me
And then I sent you home.

Oh how I torture
Myself.

Please don't let me
Let you go.

I have an obsession
With passionate people.

I told you from the start
Not to fall for me.
Because
I know what
My heart does.

Now look
What we've
Become.

Any movement
Of you
Is all I
Long for.

She wears his clothes now,
His shirt drapes down her shoulders.
Says she'll never change.

And as I take you in
With one deep breathe

This exhale screams of

help

I close my eyes
And allow myself
To dream

Of all the chances I had
To kiss you.

Baseball seats
And
Late night treats

And dancing till the credits were through

And every moment with you.

I need
Your movements
To match
With mine
Once more.

I cannot help
But to be selfish
In loving you

can't be
me me you her
we are falling
apart
she
is here
for you
for me
we
are nothing
more

And I fell so fast
It was so simple
And sweet.

How much harder it is
To lose a love like that
Than to simply
Let it go.

But nothing
Ever happened
With all of that
Desire.

It never came to light,
But it didn't sputter out.
It simply continued living.

Growing like a flower.
Spreading like a ****.

Lovely and beautiful
And absolutely pointless.
A bouquet of
Good-for-nothings.
A mental
Forget-me-not.

I dream of that day
That I rested in your arms.

My lips on the nape of your neck.
My fingertips on your collarbone.
My heart in your hands.

Sometimes moments
Don't need to last forever
In order to stay
For a lifetime.

You'll always be
A part of me.
And I you.

I'm the ******* that broke her heart
And that's all I'll ever be

To everyone
Including me.

I've been told before to look out for people who just want to **** the joy out of me. That there are humans out there that would use me to feel something and then make me feel like ****. Throw me out when they were done.
I was told this because I was sweet and kind, loving and forgiving, wholesome and good and light. I was a dream. And I knew it. I was proud of being a dream.
And then I met her, a year or so ago, and I saw that others had that light in them as well. She showed me that I could love from afar, and as closely as I could. A friend. A beauty. A passing affection. And then she was gone.
And I kept on feeling so good about myself. I cried tears of loss and I laughed uncontrollably. I poured myself into my emotions and that was fine because I was sweet and kind, loving and forgiving, wholesome and good and light. I put everything into those qualities and that was just fine.
And then I met her. Again, but in another form. In a form that loved me back unconditionally. I didn't have to love from afar because she brought it to my lips and she held on to my hips. And I thought, how lovely is this pure and beautiful thing. How absolutely stunning and breathtaking.
And it never crossed my mind to what I was doing. I fell for her entirely. It was real and it was true. And then something went off inside of me. I ever so slightly, calmly and quietly, turned off my light. And hurt her for the first time.
And a day or so went on and I saw all of her. And I found that she was everything I had, and she was more. And I was jealous. And I lost my sweetness and my kind, my wholesome and my good. I filled those spots with desire and lust and where there was love I felt a fight build up and where there was forgiveness I was confused.
So I fought. And I yelled. And I tore the qualities out of her heart that she was so willing to give and I tried to put them into me. But I wasn't even good anymore. And my body rejected them all.
I became angry and ashamed, embarrassed and cruel, hateful and spiteful and rude.
I left her with nothing and I told her to leave me, not because I hated her, because I hated what I'd done to her and I couldn't bare to look upon my work.
I became the humans that I was taught to avoid. I made her into a corpse of all she could be.
And now I am a nightmare.  Warn your daughters against me. I'm a selfish angry *******. That's what I've become. And to her that's all I ever deserve to be.

My mind is like a battlefield.
With loud,
And fight,
And anger.

Oh please do not disrupt me.
With fear,
You'll be
In danger.

I've learned so much from you.

I've learned that I can fall in love repeatedly.
With your eyes
With you lips
With your smile
With your laugh.
I can fall in love however I want.
Because this love
Is mine.

I'm running out of memories
Of you.

You make me more
Of who I want
To be.

You will always be
The most pure form of art
To me.

How is it
I always find myself
In this sort of
Sorry place.

Surprise I've
Messed up again.
Are we in shock?
Are we in awe?
The crowd goes wild with
'I told you so's.

I'll just keep this up.
And then one day
I'll be gone.

My body is craving
Someone to
Forget.

"A disappointment"
Is what my father called me
Tonight as I was leaving his house.

Please,
Don't forget
To write this on my headstone.

Don't let anyone forget
What I am.

But have you ever loved someone
So completely
That every time they left you
They took some of you with them?

Oh how terrible it is
When they do not love you back.
None of them is left to fill you
You're just empty
And you're broken
And you're entirely in love
And there's nothing left at all
To fill you up again.

you
you
you
you
you
really
mess me up
inside.

fall
it all
away

Let's
Resurrect
What we were.

Let's
Raise our love
From the dead.

Let's
Try it all
Again.

It was
Supposed to be
You and me
Against the world
Against the worst
Until the end
Until forever

Let's
Start
Again.

And it's all looking like home again.
Those broken pieces found their place
In line again
In time again
They found their way.
Through it all the things fighting against them
Playing on their sadness
They brought it back from nothing.
They remembered who they were
And who they could be.
Now they're falling down together
Now they're falling down forever
Now they're falling back in love
And it's all looking like home
Again.

for you fly
my love
my life
my heart

I love you more
                                                            ­                  
{In each and every way}

Than you could ever imagine
Or accept.

I still see you, you know.
When I close my eyes.

You're always in my head.
Over a year since I met you
Months since you've left.

But you're
Never
Really
Gone.

A love like you
Doesn't leave
A girl like me.

You live in my bones
With music
With color
With light.

You are beauty in every form
And every love I feel
Reminds me of you.

It's no longer fun
When it's
No longer mine.

Like a secret
That I
Didn't mean to tell.

It seems the time has come to tell you
To fill you in
To let you know
My little secret.

I've been keeping something from you
That perhaps you already know.
But now that you're leaving
And my heart is crumbling
I want to share my all with you.

I love you,
My dear.
But not only in the way
That you've learned
To love me back.

It's more than that.

I fell in love with you,
Like in the story books.
With the fluttering in my belly
And the inability to form
Logical, clever, conversation.

You thought it was cute
Said it was endearing
You gave me a kiss
And you set my heart reeling.

You changed my life my dear.
I've told you so before.
You opened my eyes to who I am
And despite my desperate trying,
I fell in love with you.

So I apologize for all of the kisses I stole
And for all of the playful looks you gave
That I didn't deserve.
I'm sorry I lead myself on.
And that I broke my own heart.
And I'm sorry that a part of me
Blames you for that.

I wish I could go back
And stop this before it happened,
But it was inevitable.
If it wasn't one thing,
It would have been another.

So I'm sorry.
That I fell in love
With more than just our friendship.
And I'm sorry, that I have to see you go.

But I wish you all the best in your
Endeavors.
And I pray that you forgive me
For all of this.

Goodbye.

I'm just
so
tired.

You want for me to come to you
Least that is what you said.

But if I were to go there
Then do tell me,
Would we wed?

For I won't give my heart away
To those who'll leave it dead.

So take a risk
And leave your home.
Come here to me instead.

Some thing
Never change
Old tricks
New dog

Switch-up

You kissed
The palm
Of my hand

And you curled
My fingers shut
Over the place
Where your lips
Had just been.

"A kiss to carry
With you
Wherever,
Forever,
Together."

And I press
That hand
Up to my cheek
And use it to
Hold my mouth shut.

And you moved on
And you moved out
And you moved away.

But I'll always have
A glimpse
A bit
A handful
Of your affection.
Wherever.
Forever.
Together.
A kiss.

I can't believe
The way I treated you.

You are calm
You are pure
You are sweet

I was vicious
I was rash
I was rude

How could anyone
Ever harm you
Yet here I am
Stabbing you in the back.

You are too soft
For what I did.

You draw me in
With your sweet smile
And catch my heart
With your coy eye.

I'm mesmerized
By the way you move,
And when he's standing
By your side.

The two of you
Bring me together
And trip me up
When you look at me.

I'm falling into
The way you speak
And when you play,
You set me free.

Your sound, his voice,
You need not fear,
For I know what
Your souls say.

You need not worry
If people hear,
For your words make
Their own way.

That look you give
When you see his face
I know it's for him,
But I skip a beat.

Because the love
That you two share
Is what I need
To feel complete.

Oh I'll just bite my lip
Until the realization of your leaving
Sets in and
Finally kills me.

I breathe you in
And hold my heart
As all of you
Consumes me.

I keep that breath,
I dare not breathe.
Because 'we' is what I
Should be.

for my love is leaving
i gift you my heart

I haven't been able
To love you long enough

To let you leave.

but then I met

you

and none of the
worries
or
words
from before
mattered at all

So sweet and pure
And nothing more
You'd never break
A heart.

I miss you.

What we had
Was so simple
So sweet
So innocent
And insecure.

I miss you.

Every day
I think about you
Always.
You were
Forever more
Than just a friend.

I miss you.

How was it so easy with you?
Even now that you know
All my deepest darkest secrets
That I wanted to keep from your
Kind, pure heart.
You know.
You know me.
And it's still so
Simple.
Sweet.
Innocent.
And insecure.

Beauty has found its way
Upon your face
In the form of freckles
All around.

It's not the same
Anymore.

And at one time that was good
But now I'm not so sure.