You told me that drunk words were sober thoughts
So naturally I believed you when you said you loved me
Even though I smelt liquor on your breath

My biggest mistake wasn't falling into that ocean with you
But was believing you could swim

See I knew from the first moment I'd drown if I ever went in
I thought you'd be better than me at saving yourself

I thought one of us would make it out alive
But I realize now you were dead all a long

You were a lifeless man sinking to the bottom of the never-ending ocean
And I was a girl, wide-eyed and ready, watching you fall

Wondering to myself, how the **** will I get out
If he's gone

When I was younger my mother told me
Don't let someone hurt you more than you can hurt them

Little did I know she'd be the first one to break that rule

She has broken my heart

1


2


57


One thousand times

And as I cry before her begging for nothing more than her love

Her face does not change

She does not feel


She does not love


I can't help but to wonder, was it always like this?

Or did she change?


Or



Did I change?

The worst part about this foggy disease
Is that I can't enjoy life
   Even in it's finest moments
   Even in it's most bright
I am still shrouded in the fog and dark

Sitting on a balcony
A few stories in the clouds
Beach wind in my hair
I don't look down in hopes
That I could stay here forever
In the sun and laughter

I wish only that,
  I were a few stories higher
  I were a few ounces braver
And I could jump down
Let darkness overtake me

I know it's a darkness that passes
A darkness that only feels
Eternal
In the moment that I am

I know that I will read
My somber words tomorrow
And wonder why I felt so low
So sick
So tired

The hardest part of this disease
Is not knowing when  
It will leave
When it will pass
Or if maybe one day..

I'll be stuck.

I'm sure you heard the story
Of the girl you met at that party two years back

And the most honest guy in the neighborhood
How they planned a hook up
And then she cried
But she was just crying to attention

Or maybe to cover up her promiscuity
Because you know
And everyone knows
That the most honest guy in the neighborhood

Would never hurt a girl
Especially not
An ugly one