Sonder,
I wonder,
Of all the other people around me,
are their worlds as mine are to me,
Ups and downs, smiles and frowns,
I wonder,
Do they ponder things as I do?

an feeling ever darkly creeps over me,
It spills out onto the city streets,
As the night draws down upon the suns lovely glow
The familiar feeling, quick to come and quick to go
Paranoia and madness quickly begin to show,

One with the moon, dash through the night
So quick to move, always out of sight
I awaken, under the shadow of darkness
The teeth shoot from my gums,
I begin to hunt, It's soon over,
Though the games have just begun

I find myself staring through a window,
A lovely woman sits alone,
Quietly humble, stiller than the oldest stones,
Her eyes fixed upon the screen, her favorite show
Our eyes met, just for an instant,
A moment in time of no relevance,
But played into the hands of her fate a great deal

Through the roof I enter the dank apartment complex
Mildew and alcohol soked into the panels,
I hear staticy programs on various channels,
The smell of blood and hopelessness reeks from the floors and walls
Coursing through the veins of those whose will to live continues to fall
I can feel the sorrow of the places inhabitants
So mundane and drab..
She won't be missed at all,

I track the smell of my lovely prey,
I knock upon her chamber door,
She says "Enter, if you may"
She appeared to be a sickly *****,
Who hadn't seen the sun in days
Who are you and why are you here"
she says in a dry, crackly voice
I don't mean to scare you, there's no need to fear
I respond, careful of my word choice
There's no need to fear, for your end is near,
And when I'm done, draining your blood,
I'll then soon disappear

She's fallen under my influence,
Drunk on the pressure of the souls,
Of a thousand nameless victims,

I give her my best smile,
As I bear down upon her neck,
I'll make this worth while,
Find some meaning in her death

I carry the burden of so many souls
gone, forever from the world,
By my hand, and teeth,
I can never justify the souls that I eat...

Darkness surrounds you,
the sounds are now mute
A faded image of once was,
a collage scars and blood

You all are detastable,
I remain unphasable,
Mentally unstable,
I live above the labels
You place, on each other
you're filed into the wallets
Of the man that runs your bank account

Seventeen years on this earth,
but what's it all been worth?
I've lived through sadness, absurd
I've lived through happiness, for sure,
Expression through my words,
It's been a good life, I concur

Seventeen years, one thousand dreams
I'm simply busting at the seams,
With ideas, and beliefs,
That I want to share with the world.

It's just after midnight,
The bell has sung it's song
Gotta get to feeling right,
After so many days of trial

Let loose,
Let the alcohol take over,
Come through,
I need to cure this case of sober

It's a party, it's a party,
everybody's turning up,
Though it's just getting started,
I wonder if it'll be enough,
To take you away,
To take away the memories of my brightest days,
With you,
Intoxicate me...

The wanderer has seen many things,
In his many years of travel,
Many songs, he likes to sing,
While he lets his thoughts unravel

One foot in front of the other,
He looks at the clouds he's under,
He stops, to look,
And sit and wonder
What's become of his father and his mother

Still, he travels on,
Searching for the rights to his wrongs
He grows ever fond
Of the mountains he passes,
That stretch so long

He is the wanderer,
He is the wonderer

I want to write a poem,
But there's not much to write about
It's four in the morning,
My eyes droop heavily as I type,
I'm exhausted, and worn out
But that's on my own account,
stay up all night, sleep all day,
A teenagers sleep cycle,
I always fight to stay awake,
But it's a battle I rarely win

This is a poem, about a character I know,
Moving so silently, as if air were her toes
An orange flash in the corner of my eye,
Hear the bash of something falling,
In the middle of the night

She stalks the bugs that float past my waist
Jumping through the air, killing,
Leaving nothing to be traced
A little satisfaction, before she washes her face
But before she takes her nap, there's flies to be chased

I hold this girl close to my heart,
She keeps my company, when I write my poems
Sitting on my lap, in the darkest of the dark
If you havent figured out, who this poem is about,
The honor goes out, to my feline friend
The one, who sits at my feet, and calls again

Tick, tock, goes the clock,
Racking at my ******* brain
Tick, tock, goes the clock,
Waiting for the break of day

I'm being driven to madness,
By the tick, tock, of the clock
Diving downward into sadness,
Listen tick, tock, of the clock

The buzzing of my ceiling fan,
The hum of my computer
This is the mind of the ******
Insomnia, never came sooner

They look me in the eyes,
My demons,
They leave me feeling paralyzed,
I'm dreaming,
No
This is far beyond a dream,
Oh, far beyond what it seems
A place of inner reflection,
Battling all my fears,
Head on, with no protection,
Except the strength I've gained.
Throughout the years

When I look in the mirror,
I see in my own eyes that,
The monsters are growing bigger
Thrashing, crashing in my head,
Leave me hopeless, sweating,
Keeping me awake in my own bed
The monsters fill me with dread,
Thrashing, crashing, inside my head
They **** me inside, leave me thinking that I'm dead
I've listened to the words they have said
When they're thrashing, crashing, inside my head

Tonight every cricket chirps,
His soft little sounds booming in my ears,
Along with the sizzle of a midnight Marlboro
It is here and now I feel fully alive

Nothing but myself and my thoughts
Running through my head, of love, of loss,
Laying in my bed, thinking of the cost,
Of life, and happiness

Is this how it's supposed to be?
What am I  supposed to see?
The world revolving in conflict. and violence.
I'm told to sit, and revel in global silence
While everyone won't accept my guidance
Or learn to treat each other with love and kindness
A veil of violence, causing global blindness

I'm a gentle man in a violent world
I do what I can, then maybe a little more
Everyone is so fixated on settling scores
If only we could find the kindness in humanities core
And before we fight, we think about what we're fighting for
Then we won't have to face karmas vengeful scorn

Happy days, lonely nights,
Burdens weigh, upon my mind
People come, then they leave
But these memories stay with me,
Stare out into a crystal sea
And your secrets, I will keep

I may start, begin anew
But my heart still says with you
But please know, though it's the end
I will always be your friend
It's been years, and you've moved on
At least I still have you on my songs

I am the lion, you are the lamb.
You're just a follower,
Comply with the man
Who makes you taste of the apple with a sour core
Once you fall in the line, You're stuck forevermore
Nevermore, will I be stuck again down at the job core
Won't be a statistic, another cubicle tyrant
Customer service "Hi, how can I help you?"
**** that, I stand defiant

We walk around our lives, blind to the corruption
that's being taught in our schools, you can't get away from it
So I've come down to the deduction, that we need to over throw our government
Cover it, it's all they ever do
Nobody see's all the lies in the news
but I do, and I may be killed for sayin' this
But Obamas got an agenda, open your eyes and be convinced
He stays on some shady ****, hiding everything
But he's tapping our phones? Where's that birth certificate?
Oh that's right, he can't declassify
All the information that we need but just pass by
Sandy Hook was a set up, I'll carry that till the day I die
Pushing gun legislation, to further his advances
Are we so blind as a nation, we can't see all the questionable answers?
We need to take our freedom back, one day at a time
We need a newfound leader that'll stand his own and hold the line

He stalks, he walks,
Underneath a cold street light,
He kills, he wills,
Her body into the river at night
He remembers, when he saw her,
The first sight,

It's ten o'clock in the evening,
When he sets out to prowl
His knifes blade is glistening,
As he listens to the hoots of the owls
he prowls, along the boardwalk of a bustling city
Prostitutes running in and out of cars, for every fifty

He picks one out, a tall blonde, in red heels
She struts down the street, safe she feels,
Little does she know, a murderer is on her trail
Lost in thought of blood spatter and entrails

She turns down an alley, heading towards home
He knows her name is sally, what she's called by other hoes
She turns, looks, and sees nothing, but deep down she knows
She turns back around, gets stabbed in the throat, blood pouring from her nose

Falling crippled to the sidewalk, She prays to God,
Asking for forgiveness, for the path she walked
Now, forever, in the ground she rots,
food for the maggots and by demons she's stalked
Just as she was in life, she is in death
Just another *****, lying in the Devil's bed.

She wants to sing,
Pour her heart out,
To me,
feeling so lost and alone
She sings of love,
She sings of loss,
Of how she's turned,
And how she's tossed
And how she's been through this
More than enough

She looks to me for guidance,
I hold her through the night
She looks in my eyes, so,
Kiss her, I just might
A kiss that could bring us together,
From now til forever,
Or make her go back to him,
And leave my with my lonliness,
And my sins

I'm tired of writing about love,
I'm tired of writing about trust
Looking to the skies above,
Thinking about the memories of,
You and I,
Love is patient, love is blind
But why do I need, love,
When I can open my minds eye
And see a world never seen before
Envision a world of peace and no war
A world rid of the reasons our children are crying for
a world in which everyone is valued
Instead of thrown, like trash, to the floor

I'm tired of writing about change,
I'm tired of writing about space
Maybe instead of words on a screen
I can make these visions a reality
We can make the change, one person at a time
Curing the sick, healing the blind
When we all can work together,
We can achieve a global peace of mind

Change doesn't just happen,
It's caused by an event
Most often, catastrophic
But it doesn't leave a dent,
On the minds of those it didn't affect
We have ideals and values we want to protect
But we leave our kindness at war's doorstep

My dishonest nature pushes people away
I'm so immature, but I'd beg you to stay
But I guess, I'll leave, and head for the come what may
With nothing but old photographs and memories of yesterday

She tells me these things,
She's a tease,
Makes me feel like a king,
Baby please,

I want to hear you scream,
Like you mean it,
I want to hear you scream,
Like you need it

Your body twists in pleasure,
Dripping wet,
A perfect measure,
After the sun has set
You and I, all alone
disconnect the phone,
The only thing I wanna hear right now,
Is the way you moan,

Sitting in my computer room,
Staring at a monitor that laughs in my face,
My words spilling faster than my hands can will them
To be carved into my retina,

My thoughts return to her,
She's wonderful, assured
A person far away,
Maybe on foreign shores
And I will find her before,
I die

Overbearing sun,
Above the highest of clouds,
Illuminating

This anger flows through my veins,
It's blackened hands reaching for my throat,
Trying to bring me down,
Only memories of you can hurt me like this
the way we were,
So young and naive that it hurts
But I've come to realize that,
Yet to come is the worst
A double edges sword of love and hate,
Pierces my soul and mind,
Inner peace is something I'm to far gone to find,
I'm binded, blinded,
Yet you still run underneath my tightly shut eye lids

Years come to pass, before I open my eyes again
Silent sins plaguing me for many a day and night
Never to plague no more
As they wither we hither the steel swung
no shield for defense, immense broad my blade shall be
Love for eternity with the clash of the sword meant to heal..
Follow through with no urgency, blinded like a master
Flow severs only hate; and with the cut comes a rose
others hope to raise the broadblade we've raised within ourselves
but to no avail, weve made it far
serenity for infinity
Pulled from the stone, cut into positivity

No.
I won't do this anymore
I won't have my heart, bleeding, and feeling
And falling on the floor
Shake me to the core, I'm signing
I'll never love again!
But if I do, I'll die, just make sure that I go down swinging
Pitting, me against myself
That's all feelings have ever done
I always get my hopes up,
A never blooming rose bud
Yet the sword strikes me,
I begin pouring blood
Yet the feelings that I feel,
Will never be enough

I cant explain the change
The change in me
Once so happy and go lucky
Now downtrodden and smelling of melancholy

My heart beats for an empty purpose
My intentions growing darker
writhing like serpents
Speak from the heart, a sermon of empty words
I can't feel anything anymore
The deepest of cuts bleed but don't hurt

I'm looking through glass, through my own eyes
Through each day I lose more control of my life
I'm never going to win, so  why even try?
Empathy is demolished, my feelings run dry
I can't say I love myselfI can't say I love anyone else
I'll pull the bottle down from the shelf
And drink until I don't feel anything

I used to have a tree,
It's gnarled limbs reaching skyward
No matter how often I climbed that tree,
It only seemed to grow higher

The day the rains came,
and the lightning struck my tree
I fell yo my knees,
for the tree is a piece of me,
and the lightning struck me too

This tree still stands,
In the woods, tall and mighty
It's rough, calloused hands,
Still blow in the breeze, nightly
Nothing can bring down my tree,
My tree is tall and proud
The smoking tree still stands,
And lets my friends and I, sit around
In his shade,
The countless games we've played
That he bore witness too
He still reaches up, towards a sky of brighter blue

She passes me by,
A scent of flowers and perfume
She flashes those eyes,
As she struts across the room
And she still wonders why,
When I say,
I can't get over you

You want a rough guy,
Well that's just not me, baby
You want a man that'll waste your time
Instead of worry about your safety

I'm gentle, but I'm a wreck
You're always on my mind
I cant seem to satisfy
**** this poem, I'm to mad to even write
Thinking I'm gonna try and be someone I'm not for you.
LOL nope.

I felt alive, as I took my final breath
Don't you cry, I've found redemption in my death
Home isn't where your heart is,
Or where you hang your enemies head
but wherever the beautiful woman is,
that I woke up, laying next to, in bed

My headstone shouldn't be grieved upon
I am just a poet, a scholar, and a man
It's always darkest before the dawn,
And the dawn now comes, again

I want to hear your voice,
I want you to be mine
I've got only one choice,
The waiver has been signed

I'll tell you how I feel,
When I build up the strength
But I'm afraid,
My world will come crashing down
Around me

Pain is an emotion,
It torments me nightly
I have the slightest notion
Of happy days that will never be

Drag me through the waters,
Into a shallow grave
Hang me from the rafters,
There's nothing left to save,
The way I have paved,
Is to sadness and sorrowful days
Pain, is here to stay

Dear Megan

I've loved, and I've lost
I've turned, and I've tossed,
You haunt me at night,
When I think you're gone from my heart

tears still come to my eyes,
Every once in a while
When I miss you most,
Is when I listen to all my old CD's

she wants to end her life,
She's miserable, and sad
At the end of the night,
She misses what they had

There's many other lovers,
That come in between
The the memories that haunt her,
Still lay dormant in her dreams
The life that she used to love,
Is falling apart at the seams

She talks to me at night,
I feel as if I'm loved
But I know that she's still crying,
And that I'll never, be enough

Out of luck, and out of time
The wealthy shake me down,
though I've commited no crime
I won't let you push me around
I aint taking what's yours, I'm just asking for whats mine!

I used to think the rich were okay
Selling me lies from their masquerades
leaving young men stranded on foreign shores
It doesn't matter now,
That's not what I stand for anymore!

Tears dropping in blue
In loving memory of you
Pictures and memories are the last to go
It seems I'm always the last to know
I wont just throw everything away

With this gun upon my head,
I'll meet you in the end, my friend.
I swear upon every tear
I've spent crying these past few years.
I'm no longer overcome with fear

Wake up in the same old bed.
The same old sheets, and torn threads.
Remembering all the words you ever said
Replaying over and over,
Inside my head.

With this gun upon my head,
I'll meet you in the end, my friend.
I swear upon every tear
I've spent crying these past few years.
I'm no longer overcome with fear

I said I would return for you, and I did.

I said I'd love you always,
You said you loved me too,
We loved with greater strength than love
We were one, instead of two

I said I thought of you always,
You said you thought of me too
but I was far gone, on desert highways
when he was lying next to you

I can see through ,
See past your veil
I thought I mattered to you
But we wrote an unfaithful tale
The feelings I still tried to feel have failed

I'll lay in bed, counting my days,
Thinking back to the happier times,
The days, that we spoke of "Always."

I saw your from across a crowded room
Our eyes connected and sparks flew
I slid in between the waves of humanity
Finding my way over the ocean to you

I made port in your eyes,
And stared into the bay
I'll stay overnight,
And be gone before mid-day

A maiden voyage love affair
Is all this ever was
this ship came rolling in
And stumbled out so fair
The vessel of myself
smelling of ***** and your hair

I think of you later,
When the seas give way to violent motion
You're the flavor that I savored,
Of salt and lover's oceans

I don't want to write about you,
But I have to,
It's the only way to get you off my mind
The only way to calm the voice inside,
To speak of you, your name, your eyes,
You make me feel fully alive,
I've so much left so say of you, doll,
But I'll say it in time,
Over dinner and a fine white wine
You're mine.

My hero stands,
Firmly against his enemy,
He assumes a fighters stance,
And he focuses his energy
A clashing, violent dance,
Erupts and the earth starts trembling

Combat is his purpose,
He's the master of his trade,
A happy man, on the surface,
But he's got a monster in a cage
He fights when he has to,
Always for greater good,
He taught me to forgive my foes,
Because I know that he would

His name is Son Goku,
And he lives in my soul
A hero, unspoken
Embodiment of light, as a whole

He'd come back from the dead,
To save us all again
We'd all be in his debt,
But it's no price to him

He's got a gentle heart,
But he's a fighter
Lost in lyrical art,
His words  strike her
He wants to find love,
But he thinks he may never find her

He's a dreamer,

Morning sun peeks through my shades
It's golden light bathing all in its path
Illumination that lights all nations,
We're all the same in it's astronomical wisdom

Love songs keep me going
but the worst part is knowing
That after everything we’ve been through
It’s him and not me now lying next to you

Another bottle down, another lonely night
Drown the feeling I try so hard to keep inside
I can’t help that you’re always on my mind
I should have seen it coming, I should have seen the signs
I should’ve seen through the lies you told me each and every time

I can’t smoke you out,
I can’t drink you away
I still feel the pain
You left me with every day

You carry around my heart,
But I wear it on my sleeve
I loved you from the start,
But you don’t remember me

You had me is what she said
All that's on my mind
Laying all alone, in my bed
Is when I wish you were mine

I want to feel your arms,
Wrapped tightly around my waist
I want to feel your heart
And talk until the break of day

I've lost my chance,
This I have come to accept
I know I've lost my chance,
To speak all the words we've left unsaid

I'm all alone, once again
Pour my heart out with this pen
Remembering all the words you ever said
Replaying over and over, inside my head
I know how it feels to love,
But I'll never love again

You wanna talk about it?
I'm begging you to walk in my shoes any time
Watch the clock till you unwind
You wanna cry about it
It's making me consider that I've lost my mind
The way I see you must be blind

I gotta pick myself up, get away from here
Get away from the demons from all these years
gotta enjoy myself, get away from my fears
Gotta be smiling from ear to ear

Let’s bounce from my home, to the park and get ******
From my feet, to my dome, good times in my bones
Call my dude, get an oz,
Now I’m blowing thick smoke
Memories, fade away, after every single ****

She’s gone from my life, end this year long strife
She’s gone for the night, take a chance, roll the dice
But still, she lingers, somewhere in my mind
Another party every night, I’m sure to forget her this time

Take a chance, and run with me, to a land that’s far away
We can dance out, by the sea, till the break of the day
Now it’s just I, and as for you I cannott say
I don’t care anymore, I never mattered anyway

I picked up the pieces, now I’m heading for the setting sun
Maybe I’ll find some Jesus, maybe I was born to run
I’ll look to find the answers, that may well never come
I could find my piece of Heaven, then my journey is done

Early morning lights peeks through my window
The rise of smoke painted gold as I let my problems go
Positive vibes, as I **** upon the indo
Where this day will take me I'm afraid I do not know

But I will not fear destiny, I will accept things as they come
Negativity tries to get the best of me, but theirs songs to be sung
There's no harming me, I have my inner harmony
My positive disposition is guarding me

I can't let myself be beaten by hate and anger
Keep my head up, find faith, help a stranger
Got a great woman, she helps my find my center
She's my baby, and she's beautiful I couldn't live without her

I'll look into her eyes, and sit with the rising sun
Think of days gone by, you and me together in every one

I’ve been stressing, dare you to start testing
Not in the mood, talk to Smith and Wesson
Can’t help a man who gets hurt but never learns his lesson
Life is a question, multiple choice, guess who’s guessin?

Running from myself is no longer an option
Can’t blow my composure, everybody is watchin
Always pay the price despite what it was costin’

I’ve been through hell and back,
Would you agree with that?
Stab through my chest,
Crush my head with a bat
People walk all over me, place mat
Guess I gotta man up, and face facts

Paranoia sinks in, you start doubting everyone
Ketamine breaks skin, my trip has just begun
Take me to a place I aint never been before
New dimension, jumpin in, diving board
I’m yours

I look in my eyes and see a shell of myself
But what I’d really love to do
Is look through the eyes of everyone else
Do I look hopeful and happy?
Or sorrowful and melancholy?

I got no love for myself, no love for another
Growing up all alone, and hating all others
I’ve got some friends, and I love em like brothers
But this cloud of negativity follows me, a steady hover

Push me to where I’m stretched to thin
Now it’s far gone and I’m empty within
It became easy living with sin
Take baby steps forward on scissors and pins

First love,
It's been years,
It's been tough,
But I've made it through the tears
It's been rough,
But I still miss you, dear

I remember you,
I remember us,
You said I'd never kiss you,
but I decided to call your bluff

We laughed, and we loved
Staring at the skies above,
I remember your eyes,
A shade of brilliant blue
when I lie awake at night,
My thoughts still stay with you

You've moved on,
but I'm still here,
Writing songs,
About the past 3 years

Lovers come, then they leave
But girl, you'll always, stay with me..

She loves me,
She loves me not
Could it be,
the love I've sought
Wasn't meant to be
Anything,
But a stomach tied in knots

Coming of age,
A bitter taste
No longer a boy,
Becoming a man
Father, I know you're ashamed,
but I'm doing the best I can