She told my dad he was “kind of an *******”
the first time we had dinner with him,
at this place called The Pear Room
but she was disappointed that there were not only
no pear decorations, but that there was not a single dish
with a pear included. She ordered a dry martini
with three olives on a skewer,
but she never took one sip. She gulped.

She came at me like an avalanche in jean mini skirt.
I tried to run ahead of her, but she picked up speed
and tossed me right into her path with scratch marks
on my back to prove it. You’d never know it
by the way she twirls her hair into a bun at the top of her head
just to take her make-up off, how she laughs
instead of getting ******, or how she sometimes
orders her dessert before her meal, but she’s just a girl
who puts on her toughness in the morning like a slip.
She folds

her dollar bills into fourths before she puts them in her wallet,
and she strings herself like paper chains
against the sun every day as she drives to a job she hates.
She listens to Miles Davis on her record player,
asks me to dance at half past eleven on nights I need to sleep,
but I get up anyway. I pour us both a glass of Coke
and try to capture the reflection she doesn’t see of herself,
mirror it in my eyes, just so she knows that she
is not just another item on the menu.

Fire, smoke, scorched to dust
The fire we tended with care,
Has burned out with us

I forgive you,
For all you've done
Come back, baby...

Have you ever loved someone so very deeply,
And knew they were the completely wrong person?
You knew they were going to shatter your heart eventually
But you just didn't care.

You embraced everything about them.
How high they made you feel,
How low they drug you down
How they could be a complete disaster
And you'd still be around
worshiping them,
Putting them on a pedestal,
and bowing before it
Knowing full well their throne
Is built on a lie.

The worst part is when
You start to see right through them
When you've committed yourself
But you're too far along to quit
So you stay in the game
Asking yourself every day
"why'd you have to come my way,
With that deadly, ambiguous gaze.
I'm running through your maze,
Delirious, deranged
all the while expecting you to change."

You'll think that they're different,
That they're not the same,
You'll buy into the  illusions
That haunt photo frames
And you know that they'll  say
"I'm doing my best!"
But you can feel all their baggage
Weighing down on your chest,
And it becomes hard to breathe

Funny now, how the nausea replaces the butterflies

I lost myself in darkness
Trying to find your light

I want to rip my flesh open,
And tear out your influence by force.
I want to split my skull with a chisel,
Insert a hypodermic syringe into my frontal cortex,
And drain my memories of you into a bucket of wasted time.
I want to regurgitate the anxiety you left me with
Into a black and sloppy pile at the throne of your falsehood.
An offering to set me free from these chains,
So held down, hands bound by your instabilities,
Your insecurities, that ate us both alive.

I'm so sorry it had to end this way.

consciousness breeds a new life
to a dying mind, body and soul
it is in your concern
to develop love and knowledge
towards the beauty of cosmic energy
consciousness attains one’s mind
for constant elevation and meditation.
take countless of breaths
and contemplate on the newness of greatness
elevate your spirit and mind
through the art of letting go
take countless of breaths
and focus your attention on being free
let your soul sail in living waters
and your heart abide in complete sanctuary.