Pulled an all nighter
To fix my sleep
Early morning came as a surprise
Because I couldn't go to sleep

the two most frightening questions:

(a) what if I'm wrong?
(b) what if I can't right that wrong?

Shoulders are counter tops for your problems.
Heavy.
Burdens find their way to the left of your ear.
Heavier.
You can smell the turmoil.
Too Heavy.
Churning and churning, the output is despair.
Too Heavy to move.
A kitchen rag of hope does a quick sweep.
Freedom.
A whiff of happiness travels to existence.
Feather-light.
What a clean kitchen you have.

It's crazy how a love so pure and so sweet
can change in a split second to so dark and deep.

Thoughts unsaid.
Emotions not felt.

The tears that formed around my eyes
Were roughly wiped away
As I sat on the floor
In front of my bed,
Staring down the razor
That sat in front of me,
Taunting me,
I eagerly picked it up
And pressed the cool metal
To the underside of my left arm
And made four horizontal lines
I could barely feel anything, but I knew
As soon as the blood started pooling
That even for the shortest time,
I could feel again
Once the bleeding slowed
I put my sweater back on
Looks like it's gonna be long sleeves again this week

They say that humans
Spend one quarter of their lives
Waiting.

Simply waiting.
In lines,
For busses,
On elevators.

For water to boil,
And for the rain to just please,
Please!
Stop already.

For babies to be born,
For "the big day,"
And dreams to become a reality.

But as for me, you see,
All I do
Is wait.

From the early start to my day,
To the last restless thought at night
I am waiting.

Praying
And waiting
For things to please
Please!
Get better.

What they don't tell you,
Is that no matter how much you wait
It does not fix
Anything.

So why do I let myself spend
Four quarters waiting
On an impossibility?