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 Feb 2014 Roni Shelley
Ann Beaver
Tragic toes split down the line
Fine tipped pens spit out the last time
I saw you sail by
Just pass through
Two hundred years of agony
In a single breath of air
Without the exhale
I search my scratches for one that might
remember your palm print
I loved you but didn't
She is the type of person
that no one will ever write about.

She's quiet
and the color of whatever wall
stands behind her.

There's something in her
downcast
watery eyes
that says quietly, “don't mind me.”

She makes herself small enough
to almost,
just almost,
disappear completely.

Her smile is hidden away,
in fact,
I've only seen it once or twice.

I may be the only one in the world
to ever look at her closely enough
to notice
the quiet light
behind her light blue eyes
but I know that if someone else had seen it
they wouldn't have cared.

No one will ever give a thought
to this puddle of a girl.
I'm not sure anyone even knows her name.

She's the type of girl
no one will ever write about,

but here I am
writing 32 lines
about a girl
who I will never meet.
Can I write you
a really articulate letter?

Will you write me one back?

Will you look at my word choice
and know that I didn't use a thesaurus,
but just the storage of words
I've collected?

Can you smile a little
when I scribble out
a terrible joke?

Will you fold up the torn-out
notebook paper
and put it in your pocket?

Please?
 Feb 2014 Roni Shelley
LET
I've concluded that I wanna tell you
everything
and something keeps telling me
you'll listen, you'll really listen
I don't know
I don't know who knows how late
I've been awake
and I don't want to sing into my
pillow so it muffles the sound
I think you're here to bring me back
and I wanna tell you everything
 Feb 2014 Roni Shelley
LET
shit
 Feb 2014 Roni Shelley
LET
thanks for the temporary pulse
and temporary thrill
i've never gotten a vibe quite like yours
i guess i never will
 Feb 2014 Roni Shelley
LET
I just got home from taking a really
long walk and it's cold out
almost too cold I had to wear my
hood because of the wind but I kept
it up because it was a reminder
you are alone
you are alone but you are worth it
I could barely move my chin but with
every muscle that I had I told myself
you are alone but you are worth
I kept walking and didn't keep
conscious with my legs
they knew how much i'd been
needing this
I give myself comforting thoughts
because no one else can and my
brain is always thinking I don't think
I'm never not thinking
you're tormenting me as I torment
myself
you are alone
really
you are alone but you're worth
something more than anything
you've ever gotten or felt or sensed
or decided or cried over useless ****
that won't evacuate any part of me
I took a walk longer than I should
have but I wanted to I couldn't stop
myself
walking around this place keeps a
warm on my shoulders
I need to be here
I am here but I am alone
I am alone but I am something far
from what's racing through my
bones
you mean something
maybe I want you to mean
something
you are alone
you will always be alone
I looked up more and saw more and
felt so lonely I was happy about it
 Feb 2014 Roni Shelley
LET
I guess I don't really know how to tell
you that I am truly capable of
loving you entirely
I'm a girl who loves people
and I want to love your person
and I've shown you things I've written
and no one else has seen the things I've written

I really can love you
all of you, even the dark parts
because I want to put your dark parts into my
heart and keep them away from you
so that you can feel a little better
all in all, I guess what I am saying is
that I'm a girl who loves people
and I want to love your person
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