You found me out today,
Looked at me, staring blankly.
You told me nothing would change.
Everything would be the same.
Could it be you lied to me?
After what we've been through,
I trusted you.
I gave you my life,
In return you gave me disgust and hate.
I hope you don't sleep well tonight.
I hope you awake,
Regretting what you said.
Tomorrow will be a new day for you.
Tonight will be my last.
In the morning people will cry.
Someone will find my body and a note.
The note will read what I told you,
What I showed you.
It'll tell of how I was hurting,
How I was in pain.
My family will cry,
When they hear,
Friends will too.
My body will lie,
Stiff and cold on my bedroom floor.
The carpet will turn a scarlet,
Stained with blood.
My makeup down my face,
Hair a mess,
Clothes and room untidy.
Here I sit,
Upon the floor,
I make a cut.
First my right,
Then my left.
I think of how slowly this will happen.
I drown in my thoughts.
My hands flicker as I do it twice more.
I wont shed a single tear.
I'll drift away,
Into a carefree sleep,
My mind is almost blank,
The thought of you is all that is left.
You crushed my hopes,
Killed me inside,
And broke my heart.
Just as the sun begins to rise,
My heart will beat one last time,
I whisper goodbye

Pacing pacing shifting left and right in a flurry.
Run to the bath to dry heave, which does nothing.
Lop it off and hide it away with a smirk.
Calmly walk up the steps and toward him.

We touch and the rush feels me but not us.  
You've been here before oh so many times.
Open up with a straight right to your face.
You dance away and hint at a smile.
You think that's all I've got.

This is our first go and I want to make you remember.
I eat fist after fist fear of the knockout lessens but doesn't go away.
Your fists don't hold the strength to maim.
Your heart holds a fear in it tightly, and then you hesitate.

My steps toward you leaves the fear in your heart and spreads to your face.
I saw lighting from one but not again,you realize this.
Three left hooks to my head I trade for one to your gut.
You know I mean to hurt and you slow down.
Not stopping but thinking just enough to **** your reflexes.

You found yourself in the corner and saw me smile.
You block the overhand left and squirm away.

The bell rings

I drop my hands and can't pick them up.
Completely exhausted, I find a nice little bliss.
I get out of the ring and just hope I helped you a little bit.
I am not the prodigy it is you with the speed and endurance.
Now show the world we're not people to mess with.

Why are you running?
Here, you say. You need to leave here.

What are you running from?
Things, things that you need to put behind you.

What do you mean?*
Your past, you say. You need it to go away.

I am your past.
Am I your past?
Don't run from me.
Run with me.

truly convienent
to be able to tell your boss
im just taking a break
right back to it when i finish this poem
****
you can hang dry wall
AND
write something to make someone
smile
cry
point a finger in your direction

yeah
about that
there isnt anything special
in my portfolio
just stuff i scribble on bar napkins
next to the doodles of you
maps too
in the small spaces that are left
i write those down
i mostly leave them for the barkeep
but not always

sometimes i bring them back to work
here into the room with
the tarps on the floor
cans full of paint
and joint compound
to reread them

and if i werent lieing
about smoking all these cigarettes
i would tell you
that im going to my car to write
just ONE more
before i send you those TPS reports

if only i could upload
all the doodles attached to them
people would know
that im PROBABLY better off
sticking to writing

His charm was venom,
Fangs, and bite
Strong drinks and no fight
An easy prey
A breezy day,
Turned sour night
Taught me what isn't right.

Just venom
Makes me an untouchable ghost.
My death is what I loved the most.