You was not just only our Mother. You was our provider and our queen.
And God gave you the biggest heart this world has ever seen.

There's always been one word I could not figure. Why do we use that vile word ******. We've been called that word since we go off the boat. And now we think that word fits us as if it were a coat. It rolls off our tongue so very smooth. It's as if we don't know another word to use. It's become a part of our culture and a part of our life. Men say it to there children and even to their wife. But when white people say it we pull out a knife. I hear Mexicans say it and Puerto Ricans too. But when they say it, it's ok with you. That's one foul word and sometimes I use it to. I'm trying not to, and so should you. There's nothing good in that word. Not one little letter.  We are not stupid people. We need to get better. That's one six letter word we don't need anymore. That's one six letter word we should kick out the door. Because when we use that word every single day. That one little word will never go away. R.Mendoza

Sometimes we don't realize how truly blessed we are. We've been killing ourselves for years and it hasn't left a scar. We still wakeup every morning with another chance to live. Yet will still refuse to acknowledge the blessings that only God can give. How many blessings are left? How many chances still remain? As long as we do wrong the results are still the same. We always make life more difficult than it really has to be. We continue to walk around blind when we know that we can see. At some point during our life it seems we've lost our way. We've been living during the night for so long we forgot there was a day. One day we may realize that enough just is enough. And at the same time we may realize that we really ain't that tough. All the people who tell us they love us have go to be tired as hell. They have to be tired of hoping that one day we'll get well. We are not stupid people. God gave us all a brain. Even though some of the things we did made it seem like we're insane. One day we may wake up and surrender our life to God. Then maybe we will realize that his way isn't that hard. R.Mendoza

Sometimes people don't like to hear what has already been said. But some of us have died, we just don't realize that we're dead. We've been walking around dead refusing to lay down. We have'nt smiled in years. Our face wears a permanent frown. Happiness and joy is no longer a part of our life. And because we walk around dead we live in misery and strife. How can someone walk around dead? Is a very good question to ask. They are very easy to spot because they're the ones wearing a mask. They wear a mask trying to hide what they have done. But when you walking around dead you can not hide you can not run. You can not run because the dying has already started. All the people you hurt during your life. You have left them broken hearted. We never see the damage because dead people can not see. We don't see that we're not the same person. The person we use to be. There once was a time in our life when we were alive not dead. Then God gave us the chance to choose and we chose death instead. So God decide to let us die because he truly is our friend. So now all we need is his blessing and we can be born again. So if your walking around dying or your already dead. When you start to think about the choices you make. Maybe you'll choose life instead.

We should meet God in the morning and go with him through the day And in the stillness of the night, before our sleep comes we should pray. We should pray that God will take over all the problems we couldn't solve. And  that in the peacefulness of our sleep. Our problems will be resolved. We should pray that when we open our eyes to greet another day. We will find ourselves renewed in strength, because Gods grace has come our way. We should pray that whatever seemed impossible for us to solve alone. That once again we'll be assured by God that we are never on our own. Because if we try to stand alone. We are weak and we will fall. But God is always with us when we feel hopeless lost and small. So no day is unmeetable if we wake up with this thought. We should think to thank God for all the blessings that his loving care has brought. We can never be a failure. Even if we're hopeless unsaved sinners. Because God is the only one who can loser's into winners. So we should meet God in the morning and go with him through the day. And thank him for his guidance each morning when we pray. If we follow faithfully. This daily way to pray. We will never in our lifetime face another hopeless day.               c. R. Mendoza

How the hell can you go to rehab and leave there with a habit. You must have ate a bowl of trix because your one silly *** rabbit. You been in rehab for almost a year and you still gettin' high? You need to just go to the cemetery and lay your *** down and die. Just save your family and friends from anymore of your hurt. Go jump your *** into a grave. Someone else will throw on the dirt. We all know addiction can really be tough as hell. But you have only yourself to blame because only you can make you well. You are constantly playing with your life time and time again. And the one thing we all know about life. It does come to an end. The crazy thing about addiction is that other addicts know when your high. Because the one thing we all know about drugs. The effects do not lie. Stop letting the devil make you feel like you no longer have any worth. Don't give him the pleasure of being the one who helps you leave this earth. Whether or not you believe it. You are a child of God. And God gave us special powers. So we should make the devil's work hard. Your life is worth a whole lot more than any amount of gold. So give your family and friends the pleasure of watching you grow old. You can take the devil out of your life. You can make the devil leave. Just tell God you use to lack faith in him but that now you do believe. R. Mendoza

Dear Mommy come home. Daddy you to. I'm growing up now and I need both of you. I'm really doing good in school and I'm a good child. So please come back home and stay for awhile. Daddy I know you helped to bring me on this earth. But Mommy I know that your the one responsible for my birth. I know Mom and Dad, it's not something that I did. Whatever it is I forgive you. I'll always be your kid. I know I'm only a child but I can help you through this mess. All you have to do is hold me and let me lay upon your chest. Help me with my homework and one day you will see. That both of you Mom and Dad. Will be very proud of me. What ever it is your going through. I hope you find your way. I lay in my bed and pray each night that you'll be back one day. And when you come back it'll be alright. And then I'll be able to sleep at night. R. Mendoza

How do you count all the blessings that are sent from God.        
It becomes to difficult and it seems so hard.                                   You can never count all of his pain when one of us dies.            Or the amount of his tear drops every time he cries.                  You can never measure his smile when a child is born on earth. Or even come up with an amount of what his smile is worth. You can't measure the look on his face or see his scorn.            And we can't measure his hurt when his heart is torn.              We can't count how many times he has picked us up from the ground.                                                          ­                                              
Or all of the hugs he gives us whenever we're down.         There's no way of counting his love or his eternal grace.            Or even how many beautiful stars he has put into space. There's no need to count his blessings or measure his love.    
But it is really important to be grateful for the things that are sent from above.                                                           ­                          The bright green grass and the beautiful sunflowers.                 All the hot summer days and the cool sun showers.                   The subtle spring breeze and the cold winter snow.                  And the beautiful colored leaves when the Autumn winds blow. All the wonderful sounds when the little birds sing.                 And the twinkle in the sky that the night stars bring.             These blessings are endless and they go on and on.                These blessings have been with us since the day we were born. We can never count Gods blessings, but we should be grateful that their here.                                                            ­                     Because God gives us these blessings to show us that he cares. R. Mendoza

Although I met you long ago it seems like we just met. I remember it like it was yesterday. It's a day I'll never forget. But now your here back in my life and it seems just like a dream. But the one thing I always remembered about you were your eyes. They still have that gleam. So now it seems like time stood still so we could meet again. And now this feels just like the beginning of a love that will not end. So I often wonder about this feeling of love that I feel for you. And I often crave for that beautiful feeling of your love that feels so true. But there are days when reality hits and I realize that your not mine. And that maybe the love you had for me has suddenly run out of time. Because some days its not enough time it seems. For us to laugh  and joke and share our dreams. And there's not enough time for us to be. Just a man and a woman. Just you. Just me. And there's not enough time for us to kiss. Or for me to tell you things like this. So if I could. I'd find a way to stop all the clocks on earth today. And then maybe even that won't do. Because I need an eternity for loving you. But if I could love you just for today I think may be then I would be ok. And then when you kiss me I'll know it's right. Because our rekindled love will last all night. R. Mendoza

Sometimes I can't explain the way I feel in my heart. Because the words are sometimes hard to find and I don't know where to start. But none of that seemed to matter as the two of us spoke the other day. It was like I always knew you and I knew everything to say. You have this natural essence about you that in most people is hard to find. And everything about you says you have a heart that's kind. During the time that we were talking I knew we would meet again. Because it seemed like both of us wanted for that talk to never end. So as I sit here and write to you, The words just seem to flow.  And although we just met there's no need to take things slow. This feels like the start of something special. its been a wonderful way to begin. And my heart tells me that this feels right because I just met a new wonderful friend. True friends are sometimes hard to find so when I met you it seemed surreal. But the true essence of your spirit told me that you were real. So I hope we'll let time determine whether or not we were meant to be. But whatever happens at the end of it all you will still be a friend to me. R. Mendoza

I walked through Harlem just the other day. The Harlem I knew as a child has totally gone away. I use to play hooky from school and I ran those streets at night  But now you can't even find a decent street fight. We use have soul food joints all over the place. But now Harlem New York has a different face. Don't get me wrong. I think change is ok. But now there's other people livin' where I use to lay. 125th street just don't look the same. Now all the stores have a different name. There use to be A.J. Lester's and the Record shack. Now all the stores have names that are whack. Now I see an Old Navy store and a Chucky cheese. Can someone tell me where Harlem went please. What happened to the movie theater between 7th and 8th?  Now it sits there just an empty old place. But the Apollo theater still looks good. It's always been the crown jewel of our neighborhood. But I remember when Harlem World was open night and day. Now even that spot is a **** Conway.  Don't get me wrong. It does look nice and pretty. But Harlem use to be its very own city. You knew you were in Harlem when you walked down the street. Because Harlem use to have its own heart beat. But now we can't even afford the rents that they charge. Because everyone knows our pockets ain't that large. I'm afraid I'll go to sleep one night. And when I wake up Harlem will be all white.         c. R. Mendoza

I'm that used ****** under the bed that your girlfriend found.                                                                                                          I'm that last breath you take before you drown.                           I'm that raised manhole cover that give you blowouts.              I'm that pothole in the hood that the City knows about.         THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm the safety on that nine that determines life or death.                                                                                                                 I'm that asthma attack you had when you couldn't catch your breath.                                                                                                          I'm that last surviving egg about to go head on with that *****.                                                                                                         I'm that ***** next door that gave your wife that ****** up perm.                                                                                                        THEY CALL DRAMA.                                                                                I'm that wooden baton when you get your *** beat by the cop.   I'm that SUV the kids jumped out of when they robbed the **** spot.                                                                                                               I'm that sweat tricklin' down your cheek like someone shot ya. 
I'm that quarter pound of **** under your seat when the cops stop ya.                                                                                                   THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm that Breathalyzer test that test alcoholics.                                I'm that ******* that comes back after you flush the toilet. I'm that **** you took before you realized you ran out of tissue. 
I'm that *** stain left on blouses by government officials. 
THEY CALL DRAMA.                                                                               I'm that cold turkey when you got dope dependency.                       I'm that bottle of pills when you got suicidal tendencies.            I'm that bet your ******* made when you knew you didn't have no money.                                                           ­                                I'm that roach crawlin' cross your T.V. every time you got company.                                                                                                THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm that hole in your socks when you try on new sneakers.     I'm that ****** up sound that comes out when you got busted speakers.                                                        ­                                               I'm that slippery lane when girls think they're to cute to bowl. I'm that telephone pole when young car thieves lose control.       THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                             I was that dingy *** collar infested with Jeri curl juice.                  I was that crack addiction you had when you noticed your pants were too loose.                                                                  ­                 I was that closet your friend came out of when he said that he was gay.                                                                                                           I was that red spot on those blue jeans when your little girl forgot it was the 28th day.                                                                  THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                          I'm that **** you take after the 3rd day of being burnt.               I'm those dingy thongs when women wear those short *** skirts.                                                                                                           I'm that government cheese that didn't melt in your baked macaroni.                                                                                                   I'm that 10year bid you did all because you didn't rat on your *****.                                                                                                          I'm that long Island ice tea that got you that DWI charge.                                                          ­                                              I'm that slippin' transmission in bank robbers getaway cars.    THEY CALL ME DRAMA.                                                                         I'm that seven you rolled every time you played craps.             I'm that burnin' sensation your girl gave you.                          
**** it. Just call me the clap.                                                            ­                                                 I'm that 300lb. Freak talkin' about "let me get on top boo'.                                                            ­                                                      I was that DNA the cops found that pointed straight to you.    I was that broken crack pipe when you had just brought an 8ball of crack.                                                                                                I was that ******* coke you brought that wouldn't come back.    I was that peanut butter and jelly sandwich after school      when there wasn't **** else to eat.                                                             ­                                                       I was that smell between your toes when you had stink feet.                                                            ­                                                       I was those socks on your hands when you couldn't afford gloves. I'm those bubbles that float up your back every time you **** in the tub. THEY CALL ME DRAMA.  c. R. Mendoza

We were all saddened to hear of the death this week of one of our hardest working citizens. Someone else. When Someone else died it created a huge void in our community that will be difficult to fill. Someone else was with us for many years. Someone else always did far more than a normal persons share of the work. Whenever there was a job to do, overtime to pull or a meeting to attend, one name was always on everyone's lips. "Let Someone else do it". Whenever there was a need everyone just assumed that Someone else would volunteer. It was common knowledge that Someone else was the hardest worker in our neighborhood. Someone else was a wonderful person who often appeared superhuman. In all honesty, everyone expected to much of someone else. So now that Someone else is gone. What will happen to our schools, our children, our churches, our community? Someone else left us a marvelous example for us to follow. But now who is going to do the work Someone else did? Will it be you. Or will it be Someone else.  R. Mendoza

There once was this girl named Betsy who lived on my block. This ***** was so ugly she looked like a rock. She had two crooked *** ******* and a scar on her thigh. She had a big *** nose and only one eye. She use to mess around with this guy name Drew. And this ******* was ugly too. He wore thick *** glasses and had bad *** breath. He had a body odor that smelled like death. Late one night on November the third. Betsy was in her bathroom disposing of a ****. When there was a knock at her door that only she knew. You guessed it right it was that ugly *** Drew. He had a bag of **** and a bunch of crack. All bundled up in a brown paper sack. When she saw what he had she dropped her draws quick. But when Drew smelled her ***** he got really sick. The room got really funky and flies fell to the floor. He tried to make a run for it,
but he couldn't get to the door. When both of their odors hit the air there was a chemical reaction. The coroner said that both of their noses looked like Michael Jackson's. When Betsy and Drew took that breath it was their very last. The moral of this story is you got to wash your ***. R. Mendoza

You are not just only a Father. Your a provider and a king. And as your children we cherish all the blessings that you bring. You are always there for us to lean on and you work tireless to the very end. You are not just only a Father. You are also our closest friend. Your the one we can always count on to make us smile and make us feel glad. You are not just only a Father. You are a proud and gentle dad. We were blessed by God to have you as our dad when we were placed upon this earth. And we will always have your greatest gift. You helped to orchestrate our birth. Proud Father proud dad proud man is always written on your face. You are not just only a Father. You are a man who lives with grace. So today we ask God to bless you and to guide you with his hand. And to always keep you just as you are. A proud and gentle man. Proud Father proud dad proud man. May you walk gracefully throughout this life. And may God bless you with the strength you need to stay faithful to your wife. R. Mendoza

Dear Sister's,
                  I remember when you arrived on that very first day. You looked really sad and had nothing to say. The pain in your eyes told your story all to well. But I knew in my heart you still had a story to tell. When I looked at your face I could your pain. Because what you held inside could drive a sane man insane. You have seen and did a lot of things. Some of them bad. Some of what you did would make a happy person sad. But let me tell you this sister's. Do not despair. Now that your changing your life you are going somewhere. You have told your story and freed your soul. So put the bad things behind you because now they are old. Now you have pep in your step and your swagger is back. And in a matter of time there will be nothing you'll lack. You are beautiful human beings and you deserve the best. And so far lady's you have past the test. So keep pushin' my sister's. Don't stop tryin'. You already shed your tears. So now you can stop cryin'. By the grace of God you have gone through the fire. If someone tells you different they're a bold face liar. So from the bottom of my heart I know you'll recover. Sincerely yours. Your recovery brother.    c. R. Mendoza

Faith and hope are two things that we need. That way failure can't overtake us if we're determined to succeed. Us being here is another chapter in our life. It's part of our trials and tribulations and part of our strife. So when we stop and think, we have to believe. We have to give back some of what we receive. We can't sit around with our dreams deferred. Sulking about things in our life that  have already occured. And we can't sit around idle thinking of the past. We have no time to waste. We need to move fast. So remember you can't feel what you have already felt. So don't let this be the last hand that your dealt. Give life a chance to deal you one more hand. And get a role flush if you possibly can. Because in life if you do what you should. Life will deal you the best hand that it could. So stop thinking about the time that you already spent. You can't get it back so forget where it went. Just think about today and forget about tomorrow. Because time is something we're getting to old to borrow. So if God gave you extra time what would you do? Would you also think of messing that time up to?                c. R. Mendoza

Although we are known as veterans we're still soldiers in our heart. And although the war still rages on, we still remain to do our part. We still remain to carry the burden and the tears of the soldiers who have died. And we still remain to see our wounded friends. That's their testament that they tried. And although we no longer fight on the ****** battle field of hell. We still remain behind for those who will listen to the stories that we tell. We tell of friendships that were forged like a precious diamond in time. And of the  love we have for soldiers that no one can ever define. Our war rages on inside of us for an eternity with no peace. Because as long as our comrades die the war for us does not cease. We still remain to fight our silent battle and to shed our silent tear. But we still remain to show our comrades that we're still soldiers who still care. There is nothing that can silence our battle cry and nothing can ease our pain. Because we will always be soldiers. We are the veterans who still remain. c. R. Mendoza

We all had to crawl before we could walk. And all of us mumbled before we could talk. And when our life first started the world was at our feet. There wasn't anything in life that we could not defeat. We all receive our blessings from the very same God. And with his blessings our life is easy. It isn't very hard. But we let the devil enter our life through the door that we left unguarded. But God gave us all the warnings. The same warnings we disregarded. We disregarded Gods warnings and we let the devil have his go. And ever since that fateful day he has been killing us nice and slow. But the good thing about our God. He doesn't forsake what he has made. Even though we didn't listen and we continually disobeyed. He continues to save our life even in our darkest hour. Because the good thing about our God is that no one can defeat his power. His power encompasses the world and his blessings never end. His love is everlasting and on his grace you can depend. When God created us as his children he had only two things in mind. He wanted us to be loving. And to each other we should be kind. So that if during our life we do only those two things. Whenever we enter the gates of heaven we should get our angel wings.  c.R. Mendoza

Thank you is not enough for all that you do.
Because you do so many things for us and you never think of you. No one can ever say thank you Mothers because thank you is not enough. And no man can ever do what you do because no man is that tough. Without you Mothers what would we do? We probably wouldn't survive. And if not for you dear Mothers we would not be alive. So on this day we bless you and thank you for your love. Because we know you were given to us by our thankful God above. God has blessed us with your presence and your eternal loving grace. And you always fill our hearts with joy when we see your endearing face. When we were young you held our hand and kept us safe from harm. And when things go bad we come to you because you always stay so calm. Throughout the years your wisdom has kept our lives on track. And we always knew we could depend on you because you never turn your back. So one day is not enough for you. You deserve a whole lot more. But for now our hearts say thank you. You are the one that we adore. So happy Mothers Day dear Mothers. May you have many more after this. And may we always be blessed with your beautiful smile and your wonderful Motherly kiss.   R. Mendoza