The clock ticks away
as another sleepless night
breaks way for another
wasted day.

The ***** ran out hours ago.
I was left to wait out the clock
during that empty part of
the night when the
liquor stores close and
the street walking girls
walk their
final walk of the night.

Too wired to sleep,
mind too full of
memories to do
anything else but try
to **** them all away.
Sat on the toilet and
fixed myself a shot.
***** for breakfast,
two beers I'll call my lunch.
Dinner I'll spend 
with her
in a restaurant,
picking at my
plate while
tossing back the
wine.
Again disappointing
that girl who
still remembers
that guy I used to be.

This day I'll spend like
all the rest,
battling to be me.
The past recedes and
my need to stay numb
grows more with every
deed remembered.

These days don't change,
but most of the faces do.
There aren't too many who will
stick around and watch you
wait on death.

There are those who
remember you
and try there best to
guide you back.
If they could
only hear
the symphony
of screams
within my head.
Or the faces that
flash,dead enemy's
and dead friends.

If just a few of them
could experience
the empty in which I
live in.
Then maybe
they'd bring me a
bottle.
Christen my
voyage like a ******
ship to sea.

Wish me
well  then leave me be
and hold true to those
memories of  
the Who
I used to be..

Compass of steel and chain,
Around your neck you sit.
The points you show feign,
They never fit.

Lying so gently,
Laying so gently,
Benignly fading,
Mentally.

I can't fade the North I know,
Evident are the seeds she's sown.
If only if only
I weren't so lonely.

The Ocean
*exists.

Bleed* like me I *promise it will hurt.
That is how I flirt,
I run to sorrow,
I do not borrow...
I rob souls.

Do you accept this dark blessing?
I cannot guess...
but I will stress.
For I am heartless and artless.
There is an endless winter in my heart.