******* for calling me perfect
when you're the one who knows best that I am not

Sorry I still have your t-shirts and pajama bottoms,
I'm sorry your pictures are still on my bulletin board.
I don't deserve to see you smile anymore, I know...
I'm sorry you say that I'm worth waiting for
because I promise you
I'm not
I'm not
I'm so far from worth it
I just wish you would hate me, it'd make this so much easier on you

I didn't even look you in the eye when I tore you apart
at least you had the decency to stare when you returned every part of me
MIGHT AS WELL HAVE THROWN ME IN THE TRASH
it felt like you did
and it feels like you wish you had burned me, too,
every time you look at me when we're five feet away, passing shoulders.

look at me, making you sound like the bad guy
when it has
always
been
me.

I am sorry that your eyes look lost right now
and that I made them that way
and that you will think of me with hate from time to time
and that everyone will tell you,
"**** her, you deserve better"
and you will be thinking,
"yes, **** her....**** her...I wish I could"
and I will say "****" before passing you in the hallway
because the pain I am putting you through
made me sob in the shower for an hour last night
(what waste of water)
(what waste of a girl)

I have broken your heart
and mine
and this is going to be hard to forget
and hard to get through
and hard to get over
but being tipsy might help

typing is getting harder
but thinking about other boys is so easy

and all I want to do is eat food and sleep and have *** with someone else
because my youth is running out and
my twin brother is calling all of his buddies saying how much he misses their company
and I am secretly wishing one will come over to make me less alone
I am tipsy
and trying
to make you like me
even though I'm a heart breaker.
(I don't want to be)
(we have more in common than you think)