robin

robin Sep 2019

The fair is dead
The voices are quiet
Here we stand opposite of another
Backs turned with broken hearts.

robin Sep 2019

I think part of me has excepted that I will be alone for awhile
And it's a heavy feeling
An isolating one, but I know somewhere deep down inside my damaged heart that I deserve happiness and I'm not finding it here
I don't feel love anymore
Just distance
Resistance like a rubber band
You pull it back far enough and it just hurts you in the end
.

Empty

robin Jul 2019

wander

kiss me soft. kiss me soft like midnight rain.
barely there
absent most of the time
actually
hardly there in the head
in your head
only in your head
could you exist perfectly
everywhere else you're a mess
let's face the facts the line ends exactly where it started
everything is just simply a beginning and an end

fix my mind
make me a happy child with a wildflower soul
fasten a sunflower mane around the nape of my neck with a safety pin
safe, keep me safe in the dark hours of the night
hold me while i cry out to yesterday
as i remember all the times that slipped through my fingers

break my spine in two, make music for us to dance to by the fire
and i will tell you the whispers of the world

hold me where your heart is, show me the way, into you.

robin Jun 2019

Mouse

smallest voice in the room
your words quiver as they leave your tongue
everyone is speaking louder then me
with such bravado it shakes the very ground you walk on
and you just want to go home and get away from it all
it feels like you have to put on a show just to interact with people
and you can feel the weight, because you always feel like you need to pretend that everything's okay and that you're happy.
you used to be so brave wearing your heart on your sleeve and speaking your feelings when you were upset and now you're stuck at home afraid about what things could be.
worries are your Wednesday's, your Thursday's and your Friday's.
You wake up at 6 am just to start a new day of stress and no one ever even sees it.
Your needs are last on the list, and not just your basic needs like taking a **** or fresh water, your dreams, your desires and not just today and not just tomorrow, for the next eighteen years.
Some days you will break down and cry because it's just too much and other days you won't feel anything at all. It's just a reaction to stress you tell yourself as if it was perfectly normal to continually feel that way.  You ignore the nagging feeling in your gut to get up and do something with your life when you see your friends in ivy league or having there honeymoon trip in Cancun
you put on a smile for family when they come over and see the baby tell them all excitedly about the new things he's doing even though they don't even know the half of it, and if you talk about it you know it will probably get taken the wrong way
Like you're not grateful to be a mother
Like it's not okay to be human sometimes and be upset or tired.

.        .       .    .      .       .     .    .     .          .      .    .  .  .

i am left with the dust bunnies under my bed
Trying to figure out how to talk to the voices in my head
To get them to stop screaming
how can you be so understanding and still so continually  misunderstood?
I am so exhausted trying to always explain myself to people who just dont get it
and giving to people who just take it for granted and never give back
I wish things were different, tangible, something broken I could mold with my hands and easily fix
But were lacking in essence, in basic need.. were struggling.
And I can't do anything but watch.
depression stirs awakening from its slumber
You get stressed you dont sleep and dont respond to messages for days
Shut off your phone
Isolate your family
Because even in a room full of people, you have never felt more alone.

robin Jun 2019

rosebud

my anger will not stop me from being a good person
everyday I wake up with a full heart and a list of good expectations
I don't know how often I have to stress this, but people grow.
you will not be the same person you were yesterday, tomorrow, or the same person you were last week, and its okay if not everyone understands that.
those people who knew you, once knew you but you are not defined by your mistakes or shortcomings
your objective on this planet is to grow, become a better person who makes better choices and not everyone will see that or choose to make better choices for themselves but it is your and only your responsibility to not lose sight of your purpose.
Be kind to others, we are all on a journey that no one knows anything about, no one of us is better then the other.
Fragility is not a weakness it is a different kind of strength
Knowing that things in life will and do hurt and embracing it at a healthy distance is a very real part of growth and acceptance of your small role in this world, compared to the greater scheme of things. I tire of our societies definition of strength and everyone's apathy towards people who are struggling. Working a nine to five like a robot does not make you strong, enduring the pain of life and letting it change or emotionallymcripple you will not make you the strongest person in the room either. It's the stuff no one ever talks about, If you want to know real strength not the kind everyone pretends they know everything about try Embracing your natural sensitive and empathic nature you will learn it is not a crutch like everyone wants you to beileve it is a different kind of awareness of the world it helps you challenge yourself and only in turn grow stronger.
We are inherently sensitive to our surroundings, and when we are watered with happiness and sensitivity
We blossom into something beautiful.

help other people become better humans so we can leave a better world for our children

#nomoretoxicity #emotionalfreedom #realstrength

robin May 2019

**** eater

write me a song
of mean words
to dance around my head at night
tell me i’m stupid
because i think differently from you
tell me to shut up when i say something you don’t like
tear me down when i don’t act like the person you want me to be
it’s a blind fist fight
but neither of us win
we just punch holes in the drywall
you just leave and slam the door
how can I grow in the places that I need too if you just cut me down.

#realtionship #lonely #sad #idontknowhowtofixitanymore

robin May 2019

fake <3

conditional love
leaves a sour taste on your tongue
when you were raised on candy
it comes as a surprise
but not everyone’s like you your mother will say
It’s hard excepting that some people will only love you based on what you give them.

#fuckedupfamily #fakelove #conditionallove #whyisitsohardtpbeagoodperson