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robin Apr 2018
Snake eating it’s own tail
Words and then periods
Beginnings and then nothing.
robin Mar 2018
Ready set go
You stall
Your legs sink into hardwood floor quicksand
Burning firewood and pictures
from a past life
Trying to forget
My heads swimming in alcohol
My lips are cracked
dry
like the Grand Canyon
Hands up
to your head
your surrendering to your subconscious
conscious now
but barely able to peddle through my thoughts
Which way? This way
That way or his way?
Am I breathing
Am I dreaming
Is this life
Does it get any better then this
it’s wicked hot
muggy in my jersey wool sweater
I think I’ll sit down for a while
maybe do some summer saults in the grass
Look at things upside down for a while
maybe look at the blue sky and convince myself it’s  green for awhile
Just until the sun sets
Just until the morning comes
Just until the truth becomes a little bit easier to accept
robin Mar 2018
you you are a man made of metal
me I am a
carpenter ant
you look at me in disgust
As if I am something less then natural
try to rub my guts into your creaky wood floors
with your muddy combat boots
why do I deserve life any less then you do?
self righteous man, not everything’s about you
not everyone’s made to serve you
we are not ants under your magnified flame
running to your every whim in every direction
we are your children, your mothers, your lovers, your wives
we are the earnest ones, the tender ones that you cover in bruises and black eyes
we are the ones who love you so deeply that we cry when you abuse and neglect us and then go **** your secretary because now that we’ve pushed out two of your kids we’re not “attractive” to you anymore  
why? Cause you can.
cause your a man
and your a Great Dane in a dog eat dog world
let me throw you a bone
while I take it
up the *** in my mouth every place you could imagine
and then you will buckle your pants with a smirk and get in your car
And drive to wherever you call home
because now that your satisfied that’s all that matters
doesn’t matter if you took from someone else
strip away your big boy talk tho and
your just a trembling little chihuahua

out in the rain
just a pup with a bark bigger then your bite
in a world full of empty dog food cans
robin Feb 2018
I have memories stitched into my sheets
Like a spider stitching its web
In the grey matter of my brain
Intricately
like how you weaved your fingers
into mine
Like our hands were two pieces to a puzzle
that you knew needed a place to fit.
My heart is swollen, my veins collapsed with beating red love for you.
My words they are not like other words.
they bleed.
They are ripped aching and fresh from my chest
And put in a box on the shelf for you to read later
My poetry is not just spoken in words, you can hear it in my silences, in my tears and in the way that I kiss your very lips.
It is my love I must share
The umbrella must reach the lengths of both of our shoulders.
We are the book I must write.
the future that is yet to be created.
robin Feb 2018
It’s safe to say I wasn’t the problem
Of every predicament you got yourself into.
you’re still pointing fingers at everyone else besides yourself
and me I’ve started a family.
I’ve started over.
I still write to you sometimes though
With titles such as dear first love
how foolish was I
how silly we were
we can chalk it all up to a big misunderstanding
I mistook love for anger
your fists were my kisses.
and
you mistook me
for someone weak in the knees
the play doh you could mold in your hands to make me the way you wanted me
I was young, and I was foolish but that is all I was.
I know now that you were wrong
All those things you said about me.
I know now that you never really knew me. Your words have lost there sting.
people looked on, like they always do
it was not nearly what others made it out to be
but
I suppose no one will understand but us
it will die
the memories
and over the ashes I will continue to make anew.
To be improved.
robin Nov 2017
Just a ghost that you say you loved the most, you didn’t love a hair on my head until the day I was pronounced dead.    

        
Depressed
pedal to the floor
going through life
I’m looking for the color grey paint?
something dull like my life.
I’m trying to paint a picture obvious enough for you to see that I’m not happy  
not trying to be sappy, I’m really quite Suicidal
Kurt Cobain my real life idol.
you thought it was getting better, boy I really had you fooled hate hides in my pillows eating away at my perfectly created facade I wish I could
just swallow the pain like the ground swallows rain drops
Endlessly
Maybe all of this would go away
maybe things would wake up okay
90% probability of it raining tomrrow though so you must prepare for the storm coming instead of running against the wind
inhale the truth of the matter into your lungs
and breathe it out like smoke
it will only sting if you cough
try to drink some *****, shake it off
**** yourself slowly because being extreme is looked down upon
even though the drugs are in your food already and the truths everywhere for them to find it
just **** your self while you can
Stop making wishes in the well and jump in
robin Nov 2017
I want you to return me to the ground with an apology letter
Because you’re not supposed to wake the dead
forget the rumbles we thought we had in our chest you make me want to break down
pull my hair out of my head and knot a noose with it
doesn’t matter how far I’ve gotten it’s about where I’m at now
at rock bottom and you can pretend that every time you took me there it was an accident
Just another one of those things I did to myself
but you slapped away my hand every time I cried out for you to hold it
every place I asked you to kiss you ignored
I’m not the only one who feels
lifeless
you tell me I make you want to put a loaded gun in your mouth because you never feel good enough
but don’t you see I am the one who is nothing
just a bag of bones
hollow on the inside
plastic on the outside
just a ******* toy melted together
with a ******* painted on smile
the type of worthless **** you’d get in a happy meal
only I’m not happy and i haven’t been for as long as I’ve been able to remember
I am just another toy that you tinker with and destroy
Only I am not a car
You can’t troubleshoot me
and fix the problem
I am just a sour putrid pit
that you will spit out and leave in the soil
and then that soil is torn open by cold metal shovels and then I am buried inside
alone
left to rot
in a dressed up coffin.
in a dressed up life, with a dressed up family.
in a dressed up world
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