Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
robin Nov 2017
Street lamps flicker like lightning bugs
low on juice
the light barely makes it out of the thick city smog alive
these blinking lanterns stretch for miles
in different directions
leading to new faces and different places and the taste of home on the tip of my tongue.
there is a whole universe beyond this highway
trees that poke holes in the clouds
And blanket the earth for hundreds of miles
they are hidden behind the fog
of the neon city lights and marketing billboards
with cheeseburgers and casinos and naked women plastered on every street corner
everyone is so distracted by the humdrum buzzing of the city
They swarm like bees to a hive  
Slaves to the machine
They are corralled into a certain way of thinking
so the elite that hide behind the curtain of sustainability and everyone else’s best interest can feed off of the ignorance the rest of us helplessly and unknowingly exude
These people are children, they are your parents maybe, your second cousin, your elderly neighbors who are blinded by there patriotism and there old habits that they can’t see reality transpiring right outside there window
people do not like to feel anything we don’t consider pleasantry
we want to ignore the bad feelings and expect instant gratification for everything we do
Forget about the cold outside and heat our houses
ignore the news because the consequences of our actions are too much to bare
so we blame it on someone else, something else far off in the distance
To distract ourselves from the fear that rattles profusely in our ribcage like a cornered snake
these people
are not educated on how to fight the system
they are taught to distract themselves with the new iPhone X
because the easiest thing to do is run when you’re in a corner into something that is soft, and warm and smells as sweet as your mother
something that absorbs the sharp blow of reality
so you don’t consciously have to.
However
there are a small few that have broken away from this way of thinking
we are told our virtues of minimalism and sustainability are unrealistic
We are labeled dreamers
laughed at
because we don’t dream in Hollywood lights
or corporate cubicles
we are the few that stare longingly into the trees past the city and dream of what’s more
to come then this mundane day to day
dragging our feet.
We are the wind, the momentum to break free
from the cold slab maze of brick wall thinking
that companies and capitalism has brainwashed us into
We must have strength
We must have courage
Even in the darkest of hours for the darkest of people  
to live by our virtues
and stand up for what we believe in
We must have discipline and live by what we say
We must lead by example
We must never stray from our purpose no matter what our parents tell us, no matter if we are told it is unrealistic or things will never work out for us in the end. They will.
We are already being forced against our will into a standardized way of thinking
Subjected to worse social punishment by the majority
it is social suicide to step out of the cultural conformities of the western civilization.
but we must.
the western mindset is a man eats world mentality
one percent of a pie
feeds off of the other 90 percent
economic canibalism
the one percent have bought there way to the top
Sold souls below them to the highest bidder
the other ninety percent of the pie
we will continue
chasing paper
like we’re chasing highs
to determine our self worth
we must break free from this toxic way of thinking
we must put an end to buying our selves clothes we don’t need and expensive foreign cars we don’t even know how to drive
Or else the cycle will continue
We will rack up mile long receipts over things we tell ourselves we need to live comfortably when we don’t
and they will win
If we keep quiet and sit still like we’ve been told to, and grow up the way it’s been modeled for us by the other cookie cutter members of society
that small slice of the pie will win  
and the rest of us
will pay for our tickets
to the end of the world.
The world has lied to you, get angry..
robin Sep 2017
i think maybe
its because i care too much
wear my heart on my sleeve
casted over in sheet metal
maybe ive just foolishly lead myself in a circle
like a dog chasing its tail
until it gets tired and falls over in a heap of confused exhaustion
i go out of my way, take time out of my day
for the wants and needs of others
and im left constantly looking for some sort of reciprocation
some sort of gratitude to make me feel accomplished with what ive done, who i am
i live on "hey thank you's" and "you did a good job" like paycheck to paycheck
only my wallet grows thinner and so does my patience as time ticks on
right now
im sitting here with my head in my hands wondering how ive lost so much to the hands of weak people with weak minds stealing my time and sanity that ive so blindly offered
i gave each and every one of them my heart when i saw they didn't have enough of their own  
opened up every doorway for them that i had closed for myself
i don't blame them though, ive always tried to never point fingers
how can i blame human nature? we are biologically designed to be selfish but for some emotionally based logical reason in my head
life is different
and the people are nice and always warm even if they are cold  
and the sun shines bright and children laugh and we don't smoke cigarettes.
im a woman of science, but  
ive always liked magic even as a kid
i was fascinated by
optical illusions and i fall for the same trick of the hand every time
because im almost nineteen and still stuck dwelling on what ifs
just a fly caught in a web trying to squiggle my way out of this mess i brought upon myself
i don't understand
give me enough time and i will though
kinda slow, i work at my own pace
but stamina wins the race
in the end
maybe,
i can crack it down to a science
if i have enough time
but i never have enough time
time beats in my chest and rots away like ash
my lungs are like molded swiss cheese
and oxygen whistles throughout the empty spaces between each of my ribs
as my lungs try there very best to oxygenate themselves
while im coughing down cigarette after cigarette
im trying to look inward
but all i see is the outward world of the faces of the people i love
and self destructive things to occupy my time with
maybe its time to stop making excuses
maybe its time to stop running
inner strength is so much more then the ability to handle ****** situations
its about finding a place in yourself where you feel at home in your own skin
its a constant journey of self discovery
robin Sep 2017
ive been trying
to build a boat that we cant sink out of broken bottles and moldy cigarettes
you think matching tattoos will fix it
you say "what about we get away for awhile"
but i dont think wed be running from the same thing
you said you're fast
but i have stamina
im trying to keep us both from running to the brink
that place you cant get back from
im trying to inject pins and needles into your bloodstream so the numbness of your heart is a distant memory
im trying to power a steam train that only goes in one direction
stop it
from going through the hole in the tracks
the bottomless pit  
moon crater holes in your skull where my words gracefully slip through
and sentences fall to their deaths into oblivion
id say we were doomed to fail but im not a pessimist
you and your swiss cheese heart
that reeks of neglect and bittersweet flesh;
what if we run into each other twenty years in the future
on a random sunny day and we both have kids
and we both say hi in the supermarket
and you laugh because my hair is long even though i always insisted on keeping it short
what if you shook my hand and we just melted into on another like clay
and
we cohered
that day in the supermarket
and we never came apart besides that day we did
and i left you for a beaten back bushy trail
that goes all the way to new mexico
because i never took the time to know myself before i got to know you
and you left me
because you insisted i left you for another man
what if i left you a note on your nightstand
what if i told you i built the boat
could we leave out pasts behind us? would we have that itching feeling to reminisce?
what if in another alternate dimension we weren't really us
what if we met on a different day where we experienced the chain of events that took place in a different order
would i even have a boat?
could i float
without
your hand
outstretched to
hold me
.
robin Aug 2017
J
im sorry that you feel like i blame everything on you
that i never cared, or put in enough effort
i'm sorry that i couldn't give you what you need
i couldn't give myself what i need
either
im sorry that you love me so much you can't put it into words
and that im your everything
im sorry that neither of us know what to say when we need to hear it.
im sorry that i can't be what we need right now
im just falling apart
and i feel like i'm doing it all alone
im sorry my *** isn't big enough
or my **** aren't perky enough
and that im not good enough
im sorry that i talk so much about my past
im sorry that i hurt
i'm sorry that you hurt too
im sorry that i don't approach things in the right way
im sorry that i don't know how to help
im sorry that we both drag each other down
im sorry that you think i care about money and things
im sorry i got uncomfortable around your friends
im sorry i drink too much
im sorry i get afraid of things
im sorry that you feel like i didn't accept you.
im sorry.
robin Jul 2017
six month silhouettes
living, breathing store mannequins
young & dumb
hands intertwined
barely visible through the morning light. iridescent.  
it's ninety degrees but its been raining
ever since February
and we just now addressed
the cloud hanging above your head.
darling take a moment to listen,
i wrote a book
for you.
it talks about conquering fears
i thought if i read it to you every night you'd no longer be afraid.
but you still wake up in the middle of the night screaming
and you have every night since  
so I left the book out in the rain
and I left my disappointment chained to the front porch like a dumb old dog
figured there was no point
in letting him sleep in the bed tonight
sadness already sleeps at the bottom of the bed and hogs all of the covers
and there's is no waking up from this
at least I don't think
because i've tried more then once to help you but
you tell me its time to go
tell me its all my fault
and i'm trying to keep it all together
but i am just a soggy book
left out on a overcast february morning
fingertips stained in ink
im caressing your cold cheekbones
trying to wake you up
from this perpetual nightmare that is your life
hey. i love you. has anyone ever told you that.
did you forget me so soon?
the ink is
running all over the page
in messy
zigzags
like a frivolous dancer
tripping over her own limbs
dew drops form on the spine of the book
drip
d
r
   i
p
dripping
in un-dimensional direction
like the leaky faucet
in room 47
at 2am
you drive me off the wall
with your soft mouth talk
i cant stop thinking
about ways to show you that there's more out there then this pain that feeds under your skin
and festers like an open wound
just tell me where to touch to make it all better.
robin Jul 2017
this type of love happens in the unconscious
slowly awakening the subconscious
with arousing suspicions
that's why i sleep with my finger on the trigger cause you
never know what you think you know until you know that you know nothing at all
you must succumb to the great expansion of simplicity and complexity intertwined
for without one there would not be the other
your brain is pink fruit salad with marshmallow fluff
it is not this thing that you are lead to believe
we are not ants mindlessly trailing behind each other to the next pay check
we are termites consciously destroying for the next generation with the intent of building a home
we are knowingly lead in a circle with lies and we continue to chase our tails
i love you
but love is a chemical trap
intent on trapping us in each others bedrooms playing with each others hair with googly eyes the size of comets
you must run
you must hide you must grow
spiritually
multidimensionally  
and not with some religion who says you can not satiate that hunger that lies within you
there goal is to keep you dependent
on there food, there pennies, there system,
they are your skull but you are the pink ball of mush that lies within it you have the power to break free from everything you've ever known
These feelings
that you ride out like waves
they are just
neurotransmitters and you are just a ball of rotting flesh
hiding behind a porcelain mask of makeup and hairspray
you must realize this truth
you must see things past the lense of your own two eyes
there is this truth it is simple as can be
so simple it lies beneath you
it hides in plain sight
right under your nose
you must see it
with your own to eyes
you must nurture it
with your own two hands
and once it has grown
you must taste its bitter fruit  
you must rise above
these feelings and this hopelessness
you must become more
then what you've ever been told you can be.
limitless limitations mindless liberations
robin May 2017
the waters cold
the tips of my toes tell my brain
but today i am sad
and the sun is shining
so i show rationality the shore
and walk on the wild side with the waves
high tide sweeps me off my feet and onto my throne of seaweed
it draws me closer
deeper
sings me sweet songs of forever
as it opens up its blue mouth big and wide
i swim closer
through sharp rocks and wrecks and calloused coral
eyes wide
eardrums dancing to the hypnotizing music
i am neck deep in salt water now
open cuts litter my arms and legs
i ignore the sting of reality
nipping at my toes
like colorful reef fish
i open my arms wide to embrace the cold fully
and i no longer feel the chill
i have grown use to
it
i have grown tired
the sun is playing hide and seek now behind the clouds
it's color a dull yellow
like a blinking light bulb
slowly dying
the water around me is a dark red
the world around me growing dimmer
my eyes flutter close as i lose consciousness
i dream of the sun returning to kiss my skin with the same intensity of before
the cold keeps me company, cooing in my ear that everything will be alright. cradling my body like a mother would a child.
sharks circle below
a hungry frenzy
of teeth and scales
the shark creeps closer
it sinks its teeth into your calf but its numb from the cold so
you don't feel it at first
then
without warning
you're pulled under and completely submerged in coppery tasting salt water
it stings your nose and eyes
and all the gashes on your arms and legs
you reach your hand out
ask the cold for forgiveness
for assistance out of this mess that it's baited you into
but the cold laughs in your face
tells you, you were a fool for falling for it's manufactured kindness, it's imitation of warmth  
then the bite really hits you
that's when you feel the pain
it's a defective, decrepitude creature  
it doesn't understand.
it swims in these waters everyday it is use to the cold
and you are a stranger only knowing of the sun

**you must learn to swim
or
you must forgive yourself.
Next page