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robin Nov 2016
its a push and a pull
a ricochet in the steady pool of time
an equal balance
demons run around
on their hands and knees
and angels dance in the clouds
and laugh at all of us
and the truth
its a distant memory
only the gods know.
only the stars can tell you.
but here in present tense, evil runs amuck
faces of
humans but not human entirely
they are of a plastic substance
silicone mimicking skin
they smile
with smiles so bright they can light cities but all they do is burn them down
they wreak irrevocable havoc
on the lost souls
the governments pawns
the ignorant children who live in the limbo of
unconscious consciousness
because it is a balance
you see,
your emotions blind you
and once you accept the human condition  for what it is you are free from your shackles
you see this realm of existence is bitter
the truth is bittersweet, hard to find and never satisfying for long
it stings your ears because its not what you want to hear
but it is what it is
and it is a game that you are programmed to lose,
a state of consciousness, awareness and acceptance.
it's all on a measure of what you can tolerate
and what your psyche determines is too much for you to handle.
cognitive dissonance so to speak.
if you let nothing affect you nothing ever will
good people
die
bad people thrive
and sometimes all you know to be true gets turned upside down
because it is a balance
a scale
never tilting too far to one side
before the universe resets it
there are casualties but they are a casual thing.
your life is how you choose to see the world, however jaded it may be
this place can be wonderful while simultaneously frightening at every turn in the road
but ultimately it is all a façade, an image of what you want it to be
this modern world is but a mere distraction, holding up mirrors to our many faces, telling us to strive for unattainable perfections to keep us from asking ourselves the real questions
to keep us entangled in its corporate web of cell phones and lies and miles away from finding out the truth until its too late
and we're too old to do anything about it
we watch and we wait
like children in an amusement park
anxiously awaiting our turn
biting our nails nervously
watching as the world around us falls into place
following our mind maps, our inner compass
awaiting the chemicals in our brains to determine where to go next
we are afraid
unescapably afraid
but we have our
feet at the edge of our seats, you see.
screaming with loud triumphant voices
incoherent words
echoing off empty walls. except no one hears you.
because ultimately you are alone, for now and forever
in the four walls of your head, it is safety, it is a maze, it is where you retreat at night back into yourself, you are your only solace
no one knows you as well as you know yourself and if you don't know yourself you don't know anything
this life is what you make it, to do evil or to do good
in the end
none of it matters except for what were doing in this very moment
the sun blows up
we all die
little bits of human confetti
floating in the great expanse of the universe
and everything we have ever done will be blown away and obliterated.
we are intelligent animals, with beautiful brains and plumage but we are only animals
sophisticated as we may be
and
to the government we are less then that
our lives are estimated to be worth only five million dollars
we are cardboard cut outs to the higher ups, mere window displays, it is a type of politically correct anarchy.
if you look at life through a logical lense, and keep your word small
you begin to understand
compared to the bigger spectrum of things we are minuscule, yes, your feelings, your memories, your deepest desires.
meaningless.
but in this very fleeting moment
they
mean
absolutely
everything.
ying and yang
robin Nov 2016
i've rationalized every rational explanation
told myself every side to every story i didn't want to hear
you see i've made myself immune
i've conditioned myself to the human condition
madness is a malevolent concept
but if you embrace it, it holds no ill power
this sickness i stole with ***** fingertips
this sickness is me
it rocks my world
but don't ever love a sick child
a sick child like me
its an empty love, like a ghost
someone who's hardly there
in the head
hanging on by a thinning thread
while pretending they have it all together
it's the human condition
the lies that drip from the roof of your mouth and form pools of saliva at the tip of your tongue
and im
looking for a sour truth to digest
something to wake up my senses
from this self preservation indoctrination
accepting the truth as fleeting as it may be
this sickness it controls me
has the wheel, it throws me
it's a certain uncertainty
a
deathtrap
an endless maze inside a maze
im a rotting cage
and i play sick games with myself
i like the feeling of not feeling a little too much
lifes a tetter totter
and your
getting thrown back and forth into extremes
and you are not a silly coping mechanism
you are not a doctors hand sanitizer hand outstretched with a pill
you are something malleable
you are something i could destroy
but i don't want to break you down into nothing
you see that isn't my intention here
please believe me
ive just hurt myself so much
im unsure ill be able to tell the difference.
I was almost convinced I felt something
robin Nov 2016
i like words.
but i don't like
giving those words to people
because when i do they lose their magic
and become mere tools
manipulated
for our communication.
but no one really listens
anymore
it's not about understanding
these days
people just listen and take what they want to hear.
throw a little bit of kindle in the fire
to keep the endless stream of small talk flowing.
no depth.
no real meaning.
recycled faces
trending personalities.
every interaction is just a chemical reaction
but once long ago we were our own. like grasshoppers we embraced our solidarity.
now addicted to the empty feeling of each other
rubbing together
we swarm like locust.
robin Nov 2016
just a child hidden in the tall grass
trying to grow tall enough to leave the safety of
my mothers den
i am young and dumb and all of those stupid things
but i want to be brave
just like you
show me how to breathe without your lungs
breathing for me
help me learn how to stand tall, on my own two feet
teach me how to grow in all the places they
*never thought i could.
don't abandon ship
robin Nov 2016
you loved me once
in a way not so readily understood
in a gut wrenchingly
passionately
mad
sort of way
in a riddle
hidden in between lips

like a secret
without a language, shared only
with saliva and in between silences
our tongues join together..
Like dandelion fuzz after a mornings mist.
in clumps we are intertwined
forever together
while destined
for opposite sides of the world.
we hold hands
as we walk through the fire
hands are cold dead
but your heart is beating strong in your chest
and your fingers feel warm and familiar running through my hair
like an old home, a nostalgic type of feeling.
your
skin it feels like December
you shiver
like a snake
I should’ve known
     I should’ve known.
how cold blooded you really were
but there is warmth all around us now
embers falling from the sky
refracted light
only it bounces off of you
and absorbs into me
im not gonna call you a monster
because  
I could have sworn you
were someone different
     when i looked up at the stars with you all those years ago
i want to believe that we never shared that tender moment
i want to forget
i want

the pain to seep out of my skin and into the soil around me
and grow flowers
i want to let my bones lay there in peace
as i slowly collect my
pride and dignity.

you loved me once in a unrequited not so easily understood
hand around your throat type of way
and I loved you with excuses to my friends and the nights filled with bonfires, kissing bottles to forget the pain.
I loved you with the sound of rain outside my window at 3am  
kissing the pavment
hard
smacking
passionate.
I loved you with tolerance and submission
kisses with fists
brusies blooming like spring blossoms
From every corner and inch of me
I was naive to ever think someone could be more then a stranger to you.
I am so angry for letting you hurt me
at you. but mostly myself
I am not sure if that part will ever go away.
but that tolerance I once had for the abuse I am learning for myself.
and
what we use to pretend was love
I will no longer.
robin Aug 2016
i still wish for your sloppy kisses
                    sometimes
on my
left
earlobe
softly
like rain
barely touching grass
so very gentle
youre uncertain if its even real.
robin Aug 2016
it's just a means to an end
all of it
so why
waste time with the complexities
of
what is right and what is wrong
they are simple conventions
that
simple people like yourself have made to shape
like minded minds
so tell me what is the point
in trying to juggle it all
or is there a point in having no point
in dancing a dance
like a bee
with so much math attached to it
every move calculated
cant we all just
dance in our own direction on
the wind
and see where life goes
let our feet
fall into the floor
but
with grace
and a smile on your face
because you're killing the world with kindness
before it gets a chance to **** you.
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