Sometimes I feel detached and don't belong
Hoping to find that place to call home
Be on my own without feeling I have to be someone I'm not
I remember what I loved others saw as crazy
Now I stopped they call me lazy
Those hypocrites no longer phase me
Back to doing what I love
Reading books and add my spin of ideas
Thinking of how I could've written things
Writing out my ideas I've stopped complaining and started doing something about it
Not holding on letting go if it's meant to be it wouldnt of walked out or I'd still have it
Praying things go right but not getting my hopes up

you said that i
can do better, and i
hope that by better,
you meant
you

Forget the old start a new I see others admire you when your attention is else where
Im glad everyone has that same im going to change attitude even if its for a day.
Everyone has a quest and journey sometimes other factors have a rush but stay focus.
Target those unfinished projects
Start those things on the back of your mind
Ive been good ive been better not settling for less
Turn all the what ifs into at least I tried
Every experience has good or bad you gain from just depends on how you use it.

I dont care for for ppl who lie
Dont say you like me but want to be with someone else
Dont tell me its over and keep going
Stop pretending to be my friend if you talk about me behind my back.
Dont make me look bad to make yourself look good.
So over all that ive cut ppl out of my life
Its lonely but not wasting my time with ppl who can't be trusted
Sick of being backstabbed my kindness mistaken as weakness
im open and honest why do you lie

i am asthmatic
i found out that i have hayfever
when i was around 10 years old
recently,
i discovered i have a deviated septum
sometimes,
i think i wasn't designed to breathe
but it is you
who takes my breath away
when i see your face
i feel a blow to my chest
the oxygen is flushed from my system
my lips turn blue
but all it takes
is a smile from you
to breathe life
back
into
me.

A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace

He didn't have the ***** to kiss me. His mouth was too busy asking for things I wasn't ready to give.
He didn't have the ***** to kiss me, but begged me to come into his house so he could **** me.
He didn't have the ***** to kiss me, but he had the ***** to ask if he could film it.
He didn't have the ***** to kiss me, but had the courage to grab my arm and try and drag me in.
(The bruises faded)
He didn't have the ***** to kiss me, but he confessed the only position he knew was doggy.
Ironic, because I was never a girlfriend to him. I was a set of *******. A pair of legs. Full lips, a tongue, and all he wanted was between my thighs.
Never a girlfriend, always an object. An animal. A toy.

I asked you over and I don't know why.
We were lying in my bed in the dark when my parents pulled in.
I put my dress back on and you ran down the stairs.
Sat on the couch, turned on late night TV, and pretended
that you had been there all along.

I sat up next to you with a blanket covering my legs.
You were so mad at me.
My parents didn't mind you were there though,
in fact they thought the scared look on your face was priceless
and they wished you'd come over again.
They don't ask questions anymore
if that's what you're worried about.
They know that even if they asked I wouldn't have an answer.
Because like I said I asked you over and I don't know why.

I told you it was because my grandpa was sick and I was lonely.
Which is true and I really was.
But mostly I just wanted someone who knew my body to hold me.
I just wanted a night where I didn't have to be by myself
contemplating all the time I don't have left and all the things
I've still left unsaid.
Maybe I'm just in love when you're here and you shouldn't be.
And maybe I love you all the time but I hate you enough to not say it.
That makes no sense.
Neither does this.

I'm just screaming at walls that won't listen.
About how I could want you stay so badly but I don't need you here.
Your love's really nothing.
It's just something I've gotten so used to having that I expect it to be there.
All the time.
Even when
it makes no sense
for you to be kissing me like that or for telling me you'd stay up until I fell asleep.
I asked you over and I don't know why.
I'll keep asking you over and you'll keep coming but
we'll never really know why.

But I'd like it if you'd keep your hand there and not care
about what I'll feel like tomorrow or what I'll ask you to do next week.
I don't make sense anymore
but truly, I love you
and neither does this.