I hate having to
Sneak those glances.
  But I guess I'll have to
Live like this forever.

Sneaky glances and
     Unspoken feelings.

                                      Oh and            Just so you know,
                            You look really
                      handsome
                 From a
       Sideways view, dear.

I want to know what colour your eyes are
But every time I look at you,
You're already looking at me.

i know i am young,
i know i am only seventeen,
but when i think of him
and his incandescent smile,
my heart swells and beats in time
with the cadence of his alluring words

his mind is like no other,
filled with such deep
and captivating thoughts
that flutter from place to place
like a moth, and like a moth
i am drawn to his brilliance

i long to hold his face in my hands
and trace his lips with my fingertips
and when i close my eyes
all i see is the way he looks at me,
as if i’m the one who paints
the summer evening sky

i know i am young,
i know i am only seventeen,
but i think i could spend
the rest of my life searching
and never find anything
nearly as beautiful as
the way he loves me

My heart is desperate
for something;
for someone
I want to feel love,
be in it;
bask in it
But once I have a hold of it,
I let go
It's too much
or not enough.


**m.s.

i want to write about you
and how i wish i could unravel your dense mind
make your complicated countenance simple
to yell at you about how i passionately love
how easily your words flow to and through me
and echo when you're gone
how i feel as if you're the only one i have left
and how desperately i wish i could hide you
in my lungs and breath you
so that you couldn't move
and couldn't leave me
alone

i'm pretending i didn't hear you tell me
that you had to leave

i
no longer have a claim to humanity
i
have lost it to insanity

i
no longer have a mind
i
have lost it and also become blind

i
no longer hate these highs and lows
i
have lost the ability to speak in prose

i
no longer hate these  babbles that rhyme
i
have lost the ability to keep track of the time

i
no longer want to breathe
i
have lost the ability to ‘childishly’ believe

i
no longer want to wait for you
i
have lost the ability to tell what is true

i
no longer desire to be ‘accidentally’ forgotten
i
have lost any care i had about becoming rotten

i
no longer desire the love of another person
i
have lost any care i had about seeing myself worsen