This gold chest
I hold near my breast
Reeks of the memories encased inside
Many days of blowing smoke,
passing pipes and getting high
Carefree days of
    You and I
Fingers intertwined
And after many shots
and glasses of wine
we would unwind with a dime
and let our hands do the talking
   This gold chest, I open every day
It wasn’t mine to take
because you didn’t give it to me
But you don’t care anyway
I longed for your memory
So with me, it will stay

December;
Biting cold
Stinging regrets
A year's entirety
Lost in the threads
Of space and time
One more year rubbed from your life-line

Less hearts to warm
Less gatherings to endure
Tinsel glistens in the draft
Prickly pine needles stab
Dry, calloused, aging hands
The tale of Bethlehem
does not explain who I am
or where I'm going
Is it easier, knowing?
Every question answered as the wind's blowing,
roads and trees groaning

The end of the beginning of the rest of your life
We embrace with lists of grandeur
Resolutions ****
From the root
An autumn fade,
A crack change
Like we found all the chilling answers
to our silent questions
in the dead December air

I’ve got chills; my face

is still, absorbing the flame

flickering black cherry

Long ******* day
Short night
They say there aren’t enough hours in a day
I don’t think they are right
Darkness can shroud me in its
suffocating void for many
blue moons and I would still loathe the light
For the day brings headaches,
annoyances, a disgust for humans,
and the familiar, which I wish to leave behind
The light is a blaring reminder of the opportunities
I have not seized, the automatons that drive the streets,
and in the grand scheme of things, this life
I am too frail and meek
The night provides peace from
the overwhelming sun-inspired activities
that I don’t have the strength to sustain
I feed from the void, tasting the insane,
satisfying nothing but a harrowed
mind with empty thoughts
I am hungry for the night

I’m so sorry for not doing what I should have done all those times
I wish I was a better daughter
I’ve been speaking my wishes to careless gods
Not one has come true
Maybe there really isn’t a god
But I can’t tell you that—then what would be your reason to continue?
I can’t lose you, not yet
I haven’t apologized for my ways
and expressed the ache in my heart
But it’s scary to be vulnerable
and I’m a coward
A self-hating coward
You would say I fear for I don’t believe
I would say you believe out of fear
Maybe I’ll confess to you at the end of this year
Or maybe I’ll keep it to myself again
and then something awful will happen and I’ll hate myself forever
It shouldn’t be this hard to tell someone what they mean to you
Why does it seem this will be the last thing I ever do?

In my sleep, we walked
along the dampened street
under the moon's influential glow
We stopped and stared, analyzing each
other's  features we used to know

I did not care where we went
I only wanted my time spent with you,
doing what we never had the chance to do

I could feel the warmth from your skin
even after my eyes had opened
The corners of my mouth were curved
When I realized it was only a dream,
I sighed only one word: Why?