I wasn't meant to be alive
I'm a ******* failure
The day my life deserved to end
Was three months before I was conceived
The day I was thought up
Ever since that day
One of these ******* gods
Needs to answer my prayer
******* End My Life Now!

I'd kiss you a million times
Hold you till I could remember
How your skin feels from a distance
I can't thank you enough
Baby I finally found what my poetic heart desires
You
Everything I found in you
A sense of peace and calm
Washed over me like the midnight tide
On the newly hatched sea-turtles
Not many made it far but I was the first
To be able to say
I beat the rest to mother safety
I can't thank you enough
I'm complete for the first time
Not wondering if tomorrow
Holds another bad day
Because everyday is a good day with you
Apart of tomorrow
Whether rain or shine
I'm finally holding onto
The greatest thing in this world
My poetic heart you managed to steal

Not many blunts can be found
In the pockets of my friends
Good thing though
I'm sick of that ****
Always lived by the code puff puff pass
Well I'm laughing laughing smiling
Because I found the girl for me
Gorgeous as can be
I think insanity is required
In this almost perfect scenario
I'm getting high off my ***
On the scent of her perfume
From a six maybe seven hour distance
I love the way she talks to me
Never a dull moment
She makes me feel like the animal I am
But the angel able to hold her
At a seconds notice
I'm not asking for fire place dinner
Late night walks on the beach
Or making love under the stars
I'm asking for a chance at her heart
Maybe a chance to steal her breath away
Let her suffocate on my speechlessness
No joke she's ******* amazing
Any man would **** just to look at her
I'm dying to stare in her eyes
I'm falling **** am I falling
Told you I wasn't going anywhere
Give it a week my ***
I'm giving it a week till you realize
Baby I'm hitting rock bottom pretty **** hard

My problem is I flirt too much
Every chick that walks into view
I'm bound to flirt with eventually
I'm not the best looking
Nor am I the sweetest
I'm the chocolate covered cupcake
You pass by everyday
On your way to and from work
Calling your name
With my delicious temptation
I taste sweet but another bite
BLAMM 32lbs you just gained
I'm good for all the wrong reasons
I'm the **** in disguise
So thank you for reminding me
Anything else you want to get off your chest?
You have my number
You know where I live
My work isn't far from you
So come on
Tell me how you really feel
I couldn't care less
It's just Charlie Browns mom
I'm hearing from you
I tuned you out the moment
We had our first fight

I lost a homie today
Caught in the chest twice
These ******* will pay
Yet once it's all over
I took who ever did this
Rip their life away
Both families finally stop crying
It'll be just another life society will forget
******* lives I've lived
Always seem to result in the taking of a life
So I'll say my condolences
Attend the funeral
The same way I attended his wedding
With a tear in my eye
And a bottle of Jacks in my hand
To drink to the good times
To forget the bad times

Popped six pills
Sipped on this bottle for an hour
It was dry in the first half
Opened some old wounds
Tried burying the hatch
From 17 years of torture
Found myself curled up
In the corner talking to myself
I know this is how it's always going to be
One more year
Still everything will be the same
Except one huge dramatic change
That might fill the air with a lighter shade of grey
I wont be there anymore
I'm not running
I'm escaping
Giving you all the bird
Saying hello to my baby
Let the sands on the beaches
Fill my *** crack
Let the water flutter over the rocks at my feet
While I'm holding her in my arms
So everything does get better
When you are gone
I'm going to make love to an angel
Make it a crime to look at her
Wondering how the **** I ended up in those eyes
Why I'm the one being blessed
To be captured in her memory
Knowing I loved her the way she truly deserves
IF I fail tell the world I ****** up
I'm not waiting for the next step to **** me
I'm waiting for the first time I get to say
Baby I'm home :)

I've just slapped you with a shoe
Squished you under my heel
I wonder if I'm going insane
I must be insane
I just tried reviving a roach
I like you'll live little buddy
Hope you don't
You're such a nuisance
I've seen you running around
Naked and crawling through my sheets
Sleeping with me
I might have ****** you too
I don't know
Every night I've been drunk
I gave you the boot finally
Hope you love being an insect
A pestering nuisance
Twitching on the floor
Begging for another chance at life
Well this second stomp should decide it
I must be insane
I compared you to a roach
I gave you chance after chance
Let you go
Just to be crawled on
When my back was turned
**** that
Baby I'm glad you finally died

You exist in this life with the heavenly wow factor

Baby you shouldn't be walking
When alligators are around
You said you almost fell in with them
When I told you where I wanted
To place my lips on your heavenly figure
Your knees grew weak
With every Word I speak
So stray away from the alligators
No snakes, monkeys, or rhinoes
Nothing is allowed to have till I do
I want to call dibbs on those legs
I want kiss your exotic lips
Feel the rush of your wild skin
Close to mine in the comfort of our bed
Baby I like you
You like me
We've established this
And everyday is my birthday
When I'm thinking of you
You're the wallpaper on my phone
The first thing I see when I wake up
The last thing I'm touching in my dreams
Baby call this what you will
But I like making your knees weak
With every word I speak
So if you fall
Fall into my loving arms
In this bed of endless adventures
Here's those kissy faces you love so much
:****
****:

I've walked the beaten path
Sinned in the ways of every religion
But the only salvation I'm looking for
Is in the smiles I'm able to place on your face
So when you read my text
Listen to the way I'm telling you I like you
Listen to the message in the complex smiles
The kissy faces
That seem to be endless
You can't call this puppy love
This is the way you were meant to be loved
So baby let me make you happy
I'm not asking for the physicality of a relationship
I'm asking to put this band on your finger
Look in the mirror
See my complete reflection
Because this mirror is your eyes
Baby let me make happy
There's nothing I'd rather do
Honestly you're on my mind
I've only talked to you on occasion
I don't don't want to send coded messages
In the texts that make you smile and want me
I want to tell you straight up
Baby I like you
I'm not innocent
I'm not expecting you to be
I'm just asking you to be mine
Let me make you happy the only way I know
Let me be the sculptor
Plaster smiles on your frowning face
Strip the clothes from your mannequin figure
Let me make you happy
In and out of the bed
I'm only asking for a chance
Baby let me make you happy
I promise you'll never be alone
Even if I'm seventeen hours away
My heart is in the pillow you hold tight
My cologne is in the sheets you wrap yourself in
You can even wear my clothes
Go insane and let me walk in
On you making out with a pillow dressed like me
I'll smile and I promise
I'll love you the way that pillow never could
Let me make you happy
The way the other guys failed to
When they ******* up the chance you blessed them with
I promise baby
I'll never hurt you
My shoes are in the closet
They're not going anywhere
My suitcases are unpacked and laying in the dump
Three states away
The distance you wanted in the first place
Between me and my second love
You know I had a tendency of packing up
Leaving in the middle of the night
When your slumbering hand wandered on my side of the bed
Looking for the warmth of my skin
But Baby I promise my walking days are over
My running shoes are too old
They don't fit anymore
Let me make you happy the way you deserve
I understand if you don't want to do it
I'm not going to cliche it up
I'm not going to beg
I'm just going to tell you
I like you
Ask you for only one thing in this relationship
Let me make you happy
It's not much but let me make it my sole purpose in life
I don't need a god or gods and goddesses
All I need is the heart in your chest
To be my altar
To be where I tithe my sins away
To give praise to the heart that saved me
Let me make you happy
I'm not a complete ****** like the rest of them

Eyes as beautiful as the oceans
I can take a first class trip on a canoe
And still feel so alive
Swimming in these calm waters
Isn't just a blessing but a privilege
I can't help but want my toes to wrinkle
I love swimming in her eyes
It's the only time I feel like I'm not a monster
It's the only time I'm able to love her
Without holding anything back
Her eyes are my only tie to the beaches
The sunset never looked better
Then in the eyes of such angelic beauty

Gene grant me this one wish
Don't call me master
I'm the guy asking for your help
Calling on your powers for one wish
I don't want to end world hunger
**** the corruption in our politics
Forget world *******
I don't know if you can grant me this wish
But gene if I had one wish
It would be to hold her one more time
Kiss her while the world comes to a stop
Bring her back into my arms
Let me whisper into her ear
That I'll never let go
Till her body turns to ash
From the burning inferno of times
Decaying hands ticking at our flesh
Gene grant me this one wish
I wish I could be with her one more time
To do all the things I never had the chance to do

As I'm staring into your hazel eyes
I'm thinking of all the possibilities
The endless amount of laughter
The massive smiles that cross
Your cherry lip gloss covered lips
The one I love to taste
Every time you shy away
And mumble you love me
Scared because you don't know
What it is that I'l do this time
I can't say it's impossible to love you
Just impossible for you to understand how much
But when I look at the stars
Through your eyes
I see the hope
The last bit of faith
Making everything you are to me
Even more important to fight for
I love you
Nothing will ever change that
So maybe before
I kiss you for the last time tonight
You can do me a favor
As I whisper three words
That will echo throughout your body
As you dream of what tomorrow holds for us

Smile real big and blush

I love you

I can't anymore
It's worth the time
The effort of making you smile
But how long do I have to love you
Just for you to realize
I'm not always going to be there
I'll leave your side eventually
Even if I don't want to
You've plagued my mind
With frowns and scars
Still leaking a velvet substance
Remember I told you I love you?
I'm sorry but my heart is dead
Murdered by the tyranny of my mind
Telling me I'm useless
That the love I have for you is meaningless
I can't fight wars that I'm too weak to battle
I can't go to war
Without the thought that I'm fighting for nothing
No chance is given
To love you for all eternity
I don't want to be the foundation
Of a vacant house
I want to be the utilities
Required to keep it alive
I want to be the fire in the chimney
The water used for your showers
The electricity for you to read my poems
The ones I wrote about you
But I guess loving you
Became so much of an obsession
I forgot why I loved you in the first place
Yet I'd rather just love you
Than know the reasons
My love shouldn't have a limit
But I'm limited every time
You don't pick up the phone
Or every time you don't pay the bill
I can't love somebody
Who doesn't want to give living another try
I've died twice because of you
I've lived a century for you
I can't do it any more
The beams in this supporting this housed flesh
Is growing weak
Though my fire still burns
Trying to keep you warm
I'll smolder in the past
As you walk away from this house
And find something better
Something of modern innocence
Remember I told you I love you?
I just seem to weak to that anymore

Life is like a puzzle
Scattered all over the floor
Tossed aside and dumped on
No puzzle piece falls the same way
Like snowflakes are never the same
Every puzzle just a little easier
When you understand the picture
Trying to be portrayed
But what if it was just a blank puzzle
Each piece painted after it was put together
My life puzzle isn't complex
Just not sure where the pieces go
Mother abandonment issues
Father hardly even one
Family quick to disown
Friends committing suicide
Everybody leaving me in different ways
**** what piece is next to be placed
Guess the puzzling chaptered pieces
Just fall the way they want to

Fat
Ugly
*******
Psychopathic
Demonic
Tormented
Angry
Hateful
Di­ck
*******
*****
*****
Insane
Emo
*****
****-for-brains
The list goes on
But I want to get to the point
The worse thing I've ever been called
Is your son
I don't look nothing like you
I have none of your traits
Your blood no longer runs through my veins
Your blood ran out
With the ***** I took
You belong in sewers
In rotting graves
On the vacated porches
Of hidden houses
Deep in the forests of emptiness
Just for the soul purpose of being lost
The same feeling I felt when I was able to comprehend
Exactly how pained I have became
Due to your abandonment

Dead



You cold hearted drug addicted *****
You left the only child that really needed you
I was 13 months old
You tried to weasel your way back in
But your lies gave you away
The scent of garbage
Decaying truth smells worse than death
Mother don't ever expect me to forgive you
Forgiveness is for those who offer mercy
I'm a cut throat psychopathic enraged demon
Only wanting to offer you the worst nightmares
And this mother is what I think of you
Hope you enjoy the thoughts of your "son"

You started looking at my wrist
Asking me if I was cutting
You started to notice I wasn't wearing white
I always wore white around your father
He had a tendency of disliking dark colors
Thought it was emo and devilish
But I change that when he saw the cross you gave me
Around my neck
You'd try and pull my shirt off
When we were making out in your room
I leaped up and headed out the door
You knew right away I was hiding something
Pulled my shirt up and saw
The patterned scars on my chest
The crisscrossing of blade touched lines
Darkened and still bleeding
Burning from the incision
Irritated when you rubbed against it
This time it wasn't my wrist bleeding
It was something that still had the effect I craved
And the disgust you so intolerably loathed

Usually you'd hear me say my reflection
Perhaps even my heart
But this time it's something different
It's the dignity, pride, and charisma
Of a cool dude named Roger
He's homeless, motion sickened
From being a nomad for the last 5 years
He had it all
The money, the perfect wife
Kids that would greet him every morning
With the sound of their laughter
The smell of bacon and eggs
Covered in a light coat of cheese and hot sauce
He lived on the western coast
So every night would be perfect
To set the mood for a romantic evening
Which always led to the one thing he loved to do with her
Sit quietly and bask in each other's company
Yet when he walked  on the beach
With his kids in tow
Every sea shell crumbled under his weight
The cracking and popping
Scrapping against the rocks he stood on
Now looking back it all seemed just too dreamy
He won't tell me how he ended up this way
But he said "Son, the most broken thing I know is a shell"
I knew what he meant
He was a shell of the old him
Broken and beaten down by the tides
Washed ashore to crumble on the rocks
Stepped on by the passerby's
Of every sidewalk he found himself calling home for a night

If you tore the mask from my face
The only thing you'll find
Is another mask
I'm never going to be the person
Everybody wants me to be
I'll never have the perfection
Society deems desirable
I'm just the kid trying to make a name for himself
Even if it's temporarily written in the sands
Of the most gorgeous of beaches

This is the only thing came to mind
I wanted to capture your essence
But my system is flawed
I can't hold you
You're too far away
I can't kiss you
You're hiding the smile
That always beckoned me too
I guess the only thing that really matters
Is that you're on my mind
In my dreams that seem not to come
Daydreaming is the only way I can be with you
I love you
I hope you like this
Maybe one day we'll be happy together

I will not brown nose my way
Through this already ******* on life
I will not bow down to anything
Pretending your toes are the altar of god
I will not fight wars not meant to be started
Thinking I'll survive this eventually
I will not suffocate on the fumes of your corruption
Swimming on the hopes for one more breath
You think I'll live on my knees
But I'd rather die hanging from my neck
I will not justify your injustice
Cowarding under the glares of undignified politicians
I'd rather live fighting
Than die beaten
No it's said right
Because I'm not dying till I won

I'd like to die trying to make
Forever last forever

We all lose our minds looking to be sane right?

I know not many of you will like this poem
Due to the obscene language
Well **** that
I'm tired of our ******* parents
*******, yelling, fighting
With us or themselves
They must not see the pain
The torment, disgust it makes us feel
They abandon us for drugs
Alcohol, perhaps even ***
They beat us for no reason
Well what if we had the power
Beat you because you taught us
That yelling was the only way to communicate
That fighting was the way we showed love
That stick your husband on the couch
Was the only way to make up
Our ******* parents
Don't realize how much
We want to punch them in their faces
Break their necks for the constant headache
We cut ourselves
Drink ourselves to sleep
Even cry because they wont listen
We commit suicide
Hoping they'll listen
But they only hear their own tears
Hit the floor of our bedroom
Our ******* parents
Don't realize how a lot of times
We really do need to be left alone
We are what will make tomorrow move
So shut the **** up and **** yourself
We have rights too
Don't try to strip them from us
Or we might just strip your jaw
From your ******* face

It's a picture of you
Smiling toward a camera
That captured only your perfection
You asked me why I called it a poem
It's only because you're never ending
Like similes and metaphors
Your body a rhyme to nature
Hair so fluid it's rhythmical
Heart a gate way to alliterations
Covered in bouquets of assonance
You're my wallet poem
Always there when I'm paying
For the movie we just watched
And the dinner we are going to
Everyday I open my wallet
To find the picture worth a thousand words
Written to absolute beauty
Not a moment goes by
When you're not with me
I'm grateful my wallet holds
Such a magnificent well taken poem

I'm laying on this roof
Tattered from the storms
Beaten down upon by tree limbs
This roof reminds me of me
It's not everyday you get this feeling
But with open scars
Bleeding into the skies
The stars look more precious
Like blood diamonds
Wonder how many stars
Hold the blood of the lost
I love the silence tonight
The cool, soft breeze
Carrying the scent of more rain
I can't belive the moon is gone
I wonder where she went
Probably laying in the arms of another
Where she truly belongs
I'm just reaching into ****** skies
Hoping my open wrist arm
Can carry my hand high enough
To move the clouds
So I may glance upon her face
I'm tired of being a menace
Striking fear in the eyes of loved ones
Bringing pain into their arms
Burdening their shoulders with my sorrow
Maybe if I joined with the ****** skies
I'd rain my blood on the earth
Let them taste the pain they brough
Maybe your god will finally show mercy
To those just like me
I don't know
I really don't care
Finding out is worth a risk
A risk with only my benefit

It wasn't trumpets and pianos
I played your funeral song
With the air out my ***
Then came the background orchestra
Of me ******* on your grave
Had a weird tune
But the lyrics were magically short
Two words with a repetition
*******, *******, *******
I never thought taking a ****
Would ever feel as good
Yet when it's on your grave
It's like ******* butter
With a cool relaxing feeling
I played your funeral song "mommy"
Hope you liked it
Maybe in a couple of weeks
It will all soak into the ground
For your mouth to taste
This lovely little tune
I played at your funeral

We walked on boulevards
Covered by the filth of our dreams
Always wandering off
Straying from the beaten path
You were born one year and three months after me
I was born into a disfigured family
We met when your sister watched us
We would swim our little pool
Ride our bikes and race around the apartments we lived in
I would always win
But I let you win when you smiled at me
I fell in love with you
I was told it was just puppy love
But six years later
I still loved you
We would run away
When my parents were fighting
And yours were drunk
We would walk for hours on the beach alone
We watched the soapy green tide
Wash away the sand in between our toes
It was there I stole my first kiss
Your sister found us
Sitting on the beach in silence
You couldn't stop smiling
I had a slight blush in my face
We talked everyday
Played in the sand box at our preschool
Elementary was a blast
We would read to each other
Our favorite book was a picture book
Of a black puppy
Lost in the world trying to find his bone
Finding his way home was hard
But now that we're older
I want to tell you
Our home is with each other
But my home was destroyed
While yours in slowly crumbling
That story is the story of us
The ending unfortunately isn't happy
Because I never found my bone
And you found a new home in the arms
Of your heavenly father

She's calling my name
Louder and louder
Her cries become
I don't want to be found
I'm tired of facing my problems
I want to run and hide
But I'm only able to do one
She's reaching for me
I can feel the cold stillness on her fingertips
An icy wind blowing on my insides
I'm not ready for this
I'm still too young
Yet it feels so numb
I'm neither hot or cold
Sick or healthy
Rich or poor
I'm dead
What does it all matter
I'm finally free
From a world full of cliches

On the hills of mother America
Somewhere on the greatest of plains
Ten thousand jagged rocks cover my grave
You'll never see them
Only because they have an invisible weight
It is the weight of my insanity
The weight of the darkness in my soul
A weight that cannot be measured
So stone my grave
With your hate filled words
I'll know I'm still alive
Somewhere in the confines of your heart and mind

In the words of God
You fall victim again
Cast out of your mothers home
Rejected by your father
All because your preference in *** is different

In the words of God
You're deemed weak and evil
****** by society with jagged words
Whipped upon the altar of peasants feet
Because you steal bread to feed little mouths

In the words of God
We all have a code to abide by
I'm sorry but I don't live life by a book
I live it with the intention
That every second is my last

In the words of God
You're only allowed to worship him
Yet you idol a cross
When your daughter or son
Walk the beaten path of self righteousness

In the words of Me
We're all one being
I don't give a **** for your beliefs
Your traditions or your customs
Live your life your way
Don't judge man for the way Your God made them
And add that to your Bible

I'm sorry
I didn't mean to
This wasn't suppose to happen
Can't you hear me
Please stop crying
Please I'm right here
Why are the cops here?
Who's in the body bag?
Who are they carrying away?
Why are you holding my picture?
Why are all my ex's here?
Why is everyone crying?
It was just a cut
A bottle of whiskey
A handful of pills
I just wanted to sleep
I'm alive, I'm right here
Can anybody hear me?
This funeral is boring
Why am I the only one not crying?
I want to know who's in the box
It's....it's....it's me
How did this happen?
I'm dead?
I thought it was a release
But look at the pain I caused
What the **** was I thinking?
Wait...they drove me to this point
It wasn't my own selfish act
It was theirs
They ignored me
This is the result of their selfishness
And my way of getting their attention
**** them all!
They treated me like I was a ghost
Before I was a corpse

Roses are red
Violets are blue
What do I do
When I'm lost without you

You brought color
Into my black and white world
Life flourished with smiles
Every time you walked by

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't feel dead
Everything is clear in my head

Fog swept in
You whisk it away with a kiss
You blew to me in the haze
That hit me with deadly accuracy

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I should be dead
But I'd rather live to love you

We call ourselves poets
We're not the best
Yet we gather together
Might disagree sometimes
But one poem later
Everything is alright
Welcome to Hello Poetry
Where friends are made
And Enemies are forgotten
Lost somewhere in the echo
Our words tend to **** them in

If I never smoked ****
If I never took a sip of sweet whiskey
If I never broke the law
If I never broke as many hearts
Due to the fear of being broken further
If I never loved so freely
Maybe I would be almost perfect

If I wasn't the man I am
If I was the man I dreamed of being
If I was her beloved blessing
If I wasn't such a ******* monster
If I wasn't so helpless
Maybe I would be almost perfect

I guess I'm always meant to be imperfect
Always wanting to be almost perfect
Running from the whatever I am

This young lady
I have no recollection of her name
So let's just call her Mystery Girl
She's having fun
Playing with my heart
Opening it up and reading it like a book
Seriously she's been reading nonstop
I think she's slightly insane
Has to be by now
Reading every poem from my heart
Anytime now I might have to start charging a fee
For every poem she reads
Lol
Thank you Mystery Girl
Hope you've had your fill
Come back again
When your hungry for something to do

I'm writing to you
I no longer know why
But I know I shouldn't
Only because I know
You don't love me anymore
So it has to be for all the wrong reasons
If I know you'll never see
The pile of poems and letters
Because you're leaving again

Haha jokes on you
I'll never miss the ones
Who so easily turned their back on me
Ran when everything was all too real?
You have to be ******* me golden logs
I'll miss you?
*******
Apparently you never knew me
I did tell you however
If you hurt me
I would be your worst enemy
I rather be your castle walls
Keeping you safe
But you abandoned that dream
For something you thought was better
Guess we all have something better
You're a downgrade from what I have already
Which happens to be nothing
So if you think I'll miss you
Think again...I just told you I wouldn't

If my skin was paper, could I cut myself more?

Placing this blade on my wrist
I don't plan on going deep
Just deep enough to reach
The not so beautiful treasure
I'm the Black Beard on these open wrist
Vast currents of blood
Flowing all too quickly
I'm going just a little deeper
To see what's all down there
Past the ruined shipwreck veins
Just a little deeper
D
  E
    E
      P
        E
          R
Deeper, still not deep enough
Curiosity dragging me even further under
I can't stop anymore
The ecstasy relief is better than a high
But how do I clean up the mess I made
I'm too weak
Lost too much blood
I still don't regret going
Just a little deeper

I procrastinate, I'm aware of that
I plan everything for tomorrow
Just in case tomorrow comes
You're fighting it
Hoping it doesn't come
I don't know about you
But I like to have something to do
I'm not sure if I have tomorrow
But I'm trading yesterday's agenda
For tomorrow's unknown future
I have tomorrow
So I'll plan for it
Just in case it decides to show up

I saved a "life" today
I didn't run it front of a bus
I didn't take a shot to the heart
I didn't catch a speeding bullet
I simply broke the mirror
Saved my reflections life
From looking into my death gripped eyes
After all who will I talk to
When I'm all alone
I'm almost a hero...
                               ...right?

Was it the ability to put words on lines?
Was it the ability to perceive the worlds **** clearly?
Was it the ability to rhyme?
What made us poets?
What made us the dying breed
Of well recognized literary professionals?
What the hell happened to the days of comedy
Perhaps a simple tragedy?
It seems love has grasped out hands
Forced us to write cliches
Not looking at the bigger picture

Nobody knows what made us poets

We weren't born this way
I'm nothing like Lady Gaga
What happened to us
That made us put pen or pencil to paper
And pour our emotions out
Trusting the world with our deepest secrets
Allowing them to peek behind closed doors
Allowing them a first hand look
At the scars that paper cuts gave us
What made us poets?
What made us all so insane
We are no longer classified as insane
But completely ******
For abilities almost unnatural

I'd take you to see the sunset on the Florida beaches
I'd make you happy beyond your wildest dreams
I'll never hurt you
I'm not like all the other guys
All I did was promise you lies
Look at where we are now
Hating each other
No longer looking in each others direction
And I can't keep those promises
Only because I no longer love you the same

It's been forever since the accident
That took you from me
I know this may be cruel
But in a way I'm glad you're not around
I would be ashamed to look in your eyes
To even be in your presence
I'd have to sacrifice thirteen lambs
I'm sorry doesn't cut it
You taught me that
Yet I find myself mumbling it
Hoping one day it will save me
I wish you could have seen the talent
I've been praised for
But that old owl statue you had
Is still staring deep into my soul
Telling me I failed you
I'm glad you can't see me now grandma
I'd be a disgrace and nothing more
I miss you
You taught me the art of wisdom
Always being one step ahead of my enemies
But I find myself running to catch up

I have been debating on a name
Worthy of your existence
A reflection on your sweet youth
But I fear every name that comes to mind
Would only degrade how beautiful you are
I may not ever be the father
Every child wishes they had
I might not even get the chance to be your father
But know that I loved you
Long before you were conceived
I loved you first
You will always be the angel
I wish I had the privilege of holding first
I wish I could watch as tears fell from your mothers eyes
I wish I could have been the father you deserved
But I wrote several letters to you
And not once have the words
Ever came out clear
To tell you in such a short message
That I love you
I still don't know your name
But one day I hope I get to know it
Watch you blossom from womb to woman
Every flower had it's beginning
I'm glad you started with a poem
Maybe one day I'll be the man
Walking you down the aisle
Taking you to your dance recitals
Or whatever it may be you're into when you're older
I just hope you don't become a poet like me
I'd like for you to make your mark on history
A hell of a lot more memorable than mine

                                                 Sincerely,  Your "one day" Father,
                                                         ­            Robert Guerrero

You told me I was downgrading
I was selling out
Well I'm sorry to disappoint
But sweetheart I'm buying in
No more petty love affair *******
No more cheating on your humanly form
With the ghostly frame of my emotions
No more trading stock for a piece of paper
I'm selling out to buy into something else
I'm going to another company
I'm not trying to waste it all on you
I'm tired of living in this caddyshack rental
Coming home to another heart break
I'm not selling out
Baby I'm buying in
Into something you could never invest in
You're only mad
Because I pulled my investment out of you
And put into these inhuman emotions
Well baby this is the life I live
I'm signing my name in blood

They said it was impossible
But they're not desperate enough
They're not me
Not even close
This darkness always engulfing me
It's time I build a flashlight
In this oblivion
And make my own light
At the end of this never ending tunnel
They said you can't manufacture happiness
Well meet my new company
Making happiness in the dark
Bringing back the dead
Breathing life into the suffocated
Finally replacing the mirror
To repair the broken reflection

I wrote about you
Memorializing you in every line
350+ poems and it still isn't enough?
This is a bad love affair
Between me and you
Nothing seems right
You've grown distant
Bipolar in every way
I loved you
I hated you
I cried because of you
I would have died for you
So this bad love affair
Between me and my emotions
Has to end...now