The new motto for our generation
Puff Puff pass
So if you decide to keep
The beloved joint I just rolled
Prepare to get your *** kicked
It's not the addiction of marijuana
That keeps the freshly rolled joint
In between my lips
It's the fact that I can ******* do it
One puff Two puff
Here you go
I'll share with you
Because I don't care about anything
I'm getting high
So maybe when it wears off
I'll crash from the height
Skydive with no parachute
And kiss the ground just before I die
One puff Two puff
The reason the joint is here
Is because I want to be like my mother
Pops always said "You're just like your mother"
Lucky it isn't a needle

Every line a perfect metaphor
Every stanza a perfect simile
You're the poem I wish I wrote
Because you are perfect
The muse to every poem I write
I love you
I wish I could read you
Day in and day out
You're the poem I wish I wrote
But you're the poem I fell in love with
And get to read as long as you're with me

(225)-244-0791
Just in case of an emergency
Here is my number
Call me anytime I'll pick up for you
I'll be the suicide hotline
Family problems hotline
Anything hotline for you
Just call me
I'll be your 911
I don't want to lose you
I love you too much
So just in case
You have my number

Rejected from the loving embrace
****** from the hatred brewing
I don't know what monster you are
But show your true colors to me
Let me stare down into the eyes
Of my ****** reject reflection

Your moonlight shines
Quite brighter than the sun
I love how you love me
I just want you to know
You're my chance at something better
I love you
Forever
I will be in your shadow
Eternity
I will love you undeniably
You are the star that accompanies me in the sky
You shine so bright in my eyes
I fell in love at first sight
I love you more than Adam loved Eve
You bring me hope and happiness
I love you
Forever isn't enough
Together
Eternity sounds better
Our love is as infinite as the stars
My heart burns for you
Like the mountains of crimson light
Burning, radiating their existence
In the galaxies so far away
My love
Forever is oh so short
Let it be accompanied with Eternity
Because that is what you are
My Forever & Eternity
I will never stop loving you
Even if Father Times heart gives out
Or if Mother Earth began to cave in around us
Our love is truly infinite
I can't walk away from you
My heart fused to the very ground
Your feet have come to call home
Our love has shackled me freely
Still calling me free but finding home
Looking through the barred windows of your heart
Knowing I will die in your heart
Making going to war and dying
A very ugly thought
I know a beautiful death will come
By being your Forever & Eternity
I know I have asked you to marry me
But I don't want you to marry me
I want to marry you
So will you allow me to marry you
And be your Forever & Eternity
Till death of all things living and unexplained

August 12, 1993

This is the third diary I have written in
This diary must be famous
So maybe oneday
Someone will hear or at least read my story
By the way my name is Sarrah
Weird spelling right?

August 13, 1993

Just heard some bad news...
I'm pregnant
I can't believe it
16 years old and pregnant!
The "father" is a dead beat
Ran after I said I might be
I can't keep the child
I don't know what to do

August 15, 1993

I wrote my first poem
One of my friends said it would help
Didn't really
I just wrote and wrote
I almost wrote a book
I wonder what I'm going to do with this child
Aborting it would be painful
Giving it up is almost impossible
Having it is unlikely
I have so much going for me

April 20, 1993

Found out one of my friends loves me
He knows I'm pregnant
He said he would help me
He always has a plan
Maybe I can be happy with him
I don't know
I don't want to bring him down
Diary...what should I do?

April 23, 1993

Still no reply?
I forgot I'm asking an inanimate object
To answer a question
I was forced to ask because of my stupidity
I have poor taste in men
I'm now called distastefully
Sarah the 16 year old pregnant *****
My boyfriend is really annoyed with it
I hope I can love him as much as he loves me

April 30, 1993

I cut myself
The girls at school keep harrassing me
I can't take this
I forgot how many weeks I am now
I just want this baby out
I don't want it
It's causing to much stress
Diary...help me please

September 18, 1993

I lost you for a while
Can't believe you were right here
Underneath my bed covered by my favorite shirt
That now I can't wear anymore
I look like a cow
School is horrid
I almost beat one of my teachers with a textbook
He called me "Sahcow"

September 21, 1993

I just got dumped by the man I love
He said I didn't love him enough
That I was wieghing him down
I can't believe this
I haven't stopped crying since 12 last night
Why does everything have to go wrong with me?
Am I that broken?
That big of a **** up?

September 29, 1993

I have just successfully planned my suicide
The title of this diary says "Diary Of Broken Souls"
It should say "Diary Of Suicidal Souls"
I just read the other 402 other entries
That many people...dead...murdered...by cruelty
Might as well join them
My ******* is just about the same

October 8, 1993

Halloween is just around the corner
And with it comes my death
No more baby
No more mother *******
No more father crying at the sight of me
Well the tears will be for a different reason now
I'll write my last entry on Halloween

October 31, 1993

Today is the day
Finally coming to an end
I'll **** this baby first
Swallow a **** load of pain killers
Throw in a couple anti-depressants
Noose is tied just perfectly
I have it hanging over the school entry way
A little memorial for the girls at school
All the students actually
Who have called me names
Criticized me for this ****
Well good bye *******
Sorry Diary you didn't get to know me
I'll be memorialized in these pages
Somebody will know what it's like
To be 16, pregnant, and depressed from all of it

Is that what you called me?
A ******* Satanic?
I'm atheist for one
For two you must comprehend
The undeniable difference between
Insane and Satanic
Allow me to elaborate
Insanity comes from the constant
Redundant tolerance of *******
People like you propose
Satanism comes from the belief
That a super being with horns and wings
Can buy your soul and give you equality
I'm satanic?
Maybe I'll use you in my next ritual
Ask for the gift of sanity
So I can tolerate your ******* some more
Before you call me satanic
Learn how insane I am
Or I'll have to show you

You see the knife in my hand
The blood across my face
Drenching my clothes
The intestines spilled across the floor
I'm guilty officer
I'm the psychopath
Who ripped the stomach open
Bled the corpse dry
Bathed in its blood
I ran barbed-wire through its temple
I played the xylophone on its ribs
I'm guilty officer
Arrest me please
Wait you can't
You're hanging from the ceiling
Hooks running through your chest
Precise enough so you wont die quickly
I'm guilty officer
You can't do anything
Your poor wife died
You watched it unfold
The constant stabbing
The thrusting of my blade
Yes officer
It's her blood I'm drenched in
Your sons intestines
Your daughters temple now apart of my fence
I'm guilty officer
Nothing you can do to stop me
I am ******* death
Now bear witness to your own fate

I'm here now
Don't cry another tear
I don't want ****** tsunamis
Rushing the shores of your wrist
Please
No more tears
I don't want you to drown
I need you
I'm here now
Let me be your rock
Holding tight onto your anchor
Keeping you still
Let me be Posiedon
Hold your vessel afloat
Calm the raging waters
No more tears please
Cry onto my pillowed chest
Bury your burdens
Under the flesh of my shoulders
Your the treasure in my chest
All the gold and diamonds in the world
Couldn't compare to you
Yet here you are crying before me
And I'm reaching
Just not touching
I'm helpless to the crashing force
Of your meteor tears
Please no more tears
Let me hold you
Wipe the tears
And whisper some ******* cliche

Ole Faithful playing her tune
My fingers running through the strands
Of her long steel hair
Lullabies echo out of her belly
My left hand tight around her neck
Choking her neck
Music still plays
This horror film rhythm flows
Memories of the origins play back
Like a broken record stuck on a note
I'm choking Ole Faithful
Dust fills her lungs
Yet she still sings so beautifully
Why can't her melody die
Am I not squeezing hard enough
Her steel woven strings
Cutting deep into my fingertips
I'm the one bleeding
She's the one singing
**** it die already
Your lullaby haunts my nightmares
Like your mothers tears
Choking the neck of my guitar
Wanting nothing more
Than to forget why I started playing
This lullaby of forgotten memories
Serenade symphonies of pure hell now
This old guitar just won't die
I can't **** it
But its killing me
Every second I'm dreaming
Remembering the reason
I started choking it in the first place

Your beautiful brown eyes
Lay vacant six feet below
Where I now stand
I still remember that day
As if it just happened today
Your phone still holding my number
My phone on my bedroom floor
I stole my mothers car
Just to drive the six miles we were apart
You must of planned it perfectly
Your wrist already slit
I heard the gunshot
As I rushed into the house
Your bedroom door locked
I yelled "I'm coming"
Knowing I couldn't save you
I held you for an hour
Before the cops arrived
I felt your body go cold
The life leaving your fingertips
Yet through it all
Not one tear fell
I hate myself because of that
I loved you
You were the only perfect thing
Now here you are
Statue limbs growing colder
Eyes no longer brown
But white eggs rolling
Into the back of your head
What possessed you?
Was it the heartbreak of your former lover
That ****** bag didn't even come
To you tear parade funeral
Was it the loss of your father
And watching your mother
Fall into a deep depressed syringe of ******
Was it the lack of attention
I could barely give you
Due to my own familial problems
If I wouldn't trade places with you
I was stronger than you
But I can't take it anymore
I visited your grave last year
Last time I saw you
Last words I whispered in your dead ear
"I'll join you later, I'll live for you"
I upheld my promise
What possessed you?
To **** yourself
And waste the years we shared
I hope you're happy now
I wish I could of saved you

Posted on my castle temple walls
Signs you should of took the time to read
"Warning"
Monster untamed and vicious
"Danger"
Toxic tears will erode your soul
"Keep Out"
You will die slow and painfully
These walls hold secrets
Victims to my monstrous demented ways
Have become the white picket fence
Barbed-wire running through temples
Oozing out the toxicity of my love
You should of read the signs
They were warnings
Before you walked the yellow brick road
That is now painted red
With those who have tried
To make me something I was never meant to be
I'm no angel
I'm no saint kneeling at an altar
I'm the demonic statue
Crucified upon golden crosses
I'm the symbolic monster
Tormented by the whipping voices in my head
You should of read the signs
They were warnings
To the same fate that fell upon others

I wonder if you really love me
Or if your using me to have someone
To love you to no end
I can't tak this anymore
I'm wasting my time
Pulling my hair out
Worrying if you're ok
If I'm the person you fell for
Or the ghost you can play with
I'm sorry but it's over
I'm done wasting time
I need to focus on true friends
I was never anything to you
So today you become nothing to me

A black rose
Lain across thier coffin door
Pedals are withered
Thorns are dull
Leaves are gone
Blew away on the whispering breeze
In honor of the dead
I present this rose
Death and decay have kissed its beauty
Now even more beautiful
As it slowly falls apart
Like thier mothers and fathers
Crying tears of sorrow and relief
Knowing they are gone is devastating
Knowing they no longer
Have the cancer eating at your insides
Like pirahnas in your viens
Or having to fight a war
Waged for the most redundant reasons
In honor of the dead
I cry no tears
I simply salute them
My friend you are gone
Yet never shall they be forgotten
I present them this black rose
Red still dressing the outlines of satin pedals
Like blood on cotton sheets
In honor of the dead
I'll carve monuments with blank faces
Unknown men and women
Still missing after years of searching
So many have suffered
In honor of the dead
I'll carve my tears in the form of roses
On every headstone
In honor of the dead
I whisper lullabies in the moonlight
Sing songs of joy
Dance with thier ghost
As pedal tears fall from my eyes
In honor of the dead
I present this black rose
Red still dressing the outlines of satin pedals
Fortunate to be kissed by the lips of death
Blessed with the numbing of thier pain
Honored to rest weary bones

Somebody out there save me
I sent a message in a bottle
Poured all my emotions into it
And I think it sank to the depths
I just want somebody to help me
I can't stay on this deserted island
I'm no Robison Crusoe
I have no intention of being the depressed version of Gilligan
I'm tired of being an outcast
Shadowed by everyone
I want my own spotlight to stand in
I want to fight with the stars
So I can bath in the blessed moonlight
I can't fight the universe
But a poem a day
Keeps the pain away
Right?
S.O.S
I need some help
I can't find it
The water supply is running out
The timber on this land
Doesn't exist
I'm sinking into a ****** pool
That covers three quaters of the Earth
I need solid ground
Not cave-ins at the slightest touch
Please anybody out there
Help me
Save me

From me

The only tears I want to wipe away
Is my own
But they don't come without a price
I have lost so much already
Nothing really phases me
I could watch the world crumble
No remorse
I could strip life from innocence
And no tears shall fall
Is it because I have become oblivious
To what I have become
Due to the lust I have felt
Of not feeling anymore pain
Or is it the lust for a tear to fall
From desert eyes
I just need one
Whether it be blood
Or acid
One tear to fall from my vacant depressed eyes
Will make it easier for me to cope
With these bottled emotions
Because I can't throw them into the sea
I will be the only thing to drown

Three shots down the hatch
Burning as it goes down
I'm a dragon
Breathing fire upon your nasal cavity
Sweet whiskey stench on my breath
Still drunk from the previous night
Maybe I had to much
Salud
I'll take another one
Pass out
Finally get the sleep I need
Maybe this is just a dream
Because I don't taste
The sweet, sweet whiskey
On my lips

Jokes on you
I told you to hold tight
Onto this love I offered you
But you abandoned it
One month into it
Jokes on you
I'm not giving you a second chance
I will not give anyone a second chance
So I'm laughing at you
Because you're on your knees
Begging me for another chance
Sorry :)
I'm engaged
I'm not ******* this up
Because she accepts me for me
And hasn't given up on me

I surrender
I tap
I give up
I quit
All this *******
I need to rest
This fight I cannot take
My knuckles are bruised
My bones are creaking
My burdens are to heavy
Please I quit
I'm calling it quits on life
Bye. Adios. Chao. Au revoir.

First glance my heart stopped
As my eyes lingered
My lungs began gasping for air
As my voice slurred out the words
Adreishka...I...l.love...y.you
You left me speechless
My love
You are the only thing
This world offered me
That was actually perfect
My heart plays rhythms for you to dance to
My soul sings songs for you to relax with
My body becomes your castle for you to be safe
My love
You left me speechless
Adreishka...I...l.love...y.you!!

Why are you broken
Gasping for air
Beating to a silent rhythm
Bruised from the constant pounding
My dear heart
Why are you at my feet
You belong in hands
Tender enough to care for you
Why is your speech so slurred
My dear heart
This letter is for you
I wish you had a better owner
I'm sorry doesn't cut it
But I'm sorry for the pain
I so blindly put you through
I'm sorry your lungs have failed
I wish we could of lived together
Peacefully and with one mind
My dear heart
Rest in Peace
I'll let your ghost read this
I'll place it in my chest
So you can haunt this body
And read this letter
I so know had to write you
To say I'm sorry

One cut
Two cut
Deeper and deeper
The blade almost disappears in my wrist
My depression has gotten worse
My suicidal tendencies increased
Wonder how fast the ambulance will take
If no one else is home
No one even close
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Your God doesn't even know I'm here
No wonder my prayers were ever answered
One reason why I'm an atheist
One swig
Two swig
Pain still isn't numbed
Why must I suffer
Why am I bleeding so slowly
I think I lost a lot
What a shame it is
I was beginning to think I was happy
Guess I was wrong
When am I ever right
One pill
Two pill
Maybe I should think about this
What am I leaving behind
What am I doing
**** it
Nobody ever saw my pain
I wore this mask for too long
It became a permant reflection
Why couldn't it have been transparent
Hello my name is "Suicidal"
I wish you could of gotten to know me
I'm sorry if this causes you pain
Call it selfish
Call it whatever you want
I'll call it "the solution to the problem I have become"
Goodbye my name is now "Dead"
Wish you the best of luck
Don't cry at my funeral
I don't want to drown in tears
Even in death
Might as well not show
The preacher man wont even be there
No one will come
News of my death
Will be music to a deaf society
My Obituary will just have my name, DOB, and DOD

You've ****** me too many times
You've never listened to me
So when you see
The dark shadow
Standing at the foot of your bed
Smell the sweet fragrance of decay
Taste the blood spilled from wrist due depression
Hear the deafening silence created by hate
Feel the cold bone chilling breeze
As murderous thoughts whisper
You've disregarded me too long
Now feel my 6 inch blade
Cold steel
Rip through your chest
Plunge into your lungs
Cut your wrist
Peel your flesh from weak muscles
Trying to scream
But it's already too late
I showed you what happens
When you refuse to love me
I want you to listen
Just listen
To murderous thoughts
That scream in my head

Call me insane now

You have tears of joy
Tears of sorrow
And tears of loss
Yet these snowflake shadow tears
Decay like rotting corpses
Age old victims
To tiresome eyes
Bags packed ready to board
Flights that will lift these burdens
Take away the heavy luggage
Lose it in transit
Forget it as decaying tears
Finally regain their life
As they crash into mountains
Of feathered pillows
Finally getting the rest they truly deserve

Promise me you will never leave
Promise me goodbye
Will never be a thought
On such tender lips as yours
Promise me goodbye
Will never be a part of our vocabulary
I never want to say goodbye
I only want to say
"I'll catch you later"
Or "I'll talk to you later"
I want to be sure
LATER is the only option
My love
Promise the moment will never come
When you say goodbye
I couldn't take the heartbreak
I'm afraid to say it
So I'll talk to you...Later
Because I will never leave
I love you

Shall I take my life away
Strip the essence of disgust
From a beautiful aroma of life
Shall I envy no longer
The tears that seem foreign
To vacant hollow depths
Soulless windowpanes that echo
The pain of a thousand voices
Yet I seem to struggle
With these tornado winds
Ripping through my heart
Desecrating the holy lands
That once flourished with Love and Innocence
Now Godforsaken
Shot down in the middle of night
Crashing burning into hallowed grounds
Aerial assault bombarding
Leaving ruins and corpses
Thirsty for the spillage of my blood
Carving rivers into my wrist
Breaking dams in my veins
Letting the ****** tsunami rage
Drowning myself in its depth
Godforsaken
Now I shall die
Simply because I'm pathetic
Always thinking I can save the world
With six lines or outstretched arms
All I'm doing is setting it up
For its inevitable failure

We wish you a happy birthday
We wish you a happy birthday
I love you Adreishka
Now blow out the candles
Make a wish
One day it will come true
I'm glad you chose me
As your beloved
Now allow me to wish you
One hell of a birthday
Today is your day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
WE ALL WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TI AMO CON TUTTO IL MIO CUORE
Now **** today
Let the world know
Your 16 today

Is this who I am?
Is this what I am?
Anger rushing through my veins
Racing with the adrenaline
Hatred in close third
I laid my hands on you
I swore I never would
I asked you to run
So why didn't you?
Why did you stay?
You knew it was going to happen
I had no control
I saw nothing but red
Blood was all I tasted
Hungry for the violence
Patiently waiting for me to wreak havoc
Tearing clawing at my insides
Is this who I am?
Is this what I am?
The monster you now have nightmares of
Do I frighten you?
I showed my true colors
Is this who I really am?
A monster seeking nothing but destruction
Setting fire to the bridges
It took years to build
Why?
Why didn't you run?
I begged you
Pleaded with you
To run the moment
You saw my pulse racing
Eyes going blank
Why didn't you run?
I showed my true colors
And you're now terrified to look at me
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
I know I'm a monster
But I never intended for you to get hurt

Home is just a wish
Orphans make every night
Upon the smallest shooting star
I have no home
Because I'll be abused and abandoned
Beaten to no identification of my remains
Bruised beyond comparison
Scarred for life
I have no home
It's simple to understand
Is it not?

You can hire me for whatever
I'll fix your broken heart
Repair the plumbing within its walls
Repair the wholes in it
I'll do it all for free
You can hire me to kiss you
To hold you
And I'll never charge you anything
As long as you tell me you love me
And I'm able to love you
With a love even a god himself
Cannot buy with anything
I'm your free handyman
I'll do whatever you want
Give you what you need
Even if I don't have the power to do that
I will try anyways
Ti amo con tutto il mio cuore

You have the audacity
To stroll by my house
Thinking your tough ****
Calling out to me that I'm the *****
You already met my fist
Once, twice before
So if you want
I shall reintroduce to you
My fist
Hey *****
And *******
Now that you're acquainted
Get the **** out of my neck of the woods
And learn your place
At the bottom of the dirt on my shoes
I wish you the best of luck
With the disfigurement of your face
But think again before
You want to have a rematch
You should of learned the first and second time
You can't and wont beat me
And please don't get your big brother
Because his 6 foot 209 lbs ***
Will be quickly hospitalized just like the last time
He made the same foolish decision you did
Plus it will just make you look just that much more
Of the pathetic **** faced ***** that you are
So please leave me alone
I really don't have the time
To play these childish games with you
Hey *****...*******
The names of my fist that
Have left their mark on your face

Why I love the moon
Why the eerie lullaby
Lures me to sleep
Why I am terrified of my dreams
The hollow glares of ruby eyes
Carved into my very eyelids
Why am I so afraid of me
These hands of desolate crimes
Blood stained from her tears
I wonder...
Why I am the villain in this
No happy ending fairy tale
Why don't I get a happy ending
I wonder...
Will you cleanse my soul
If I lived life on my knees
Clasped my hands together
Every night at my bedside
Giving you a round of applause
As I talk to you
As if you exist
Begging with you
Pleading for a perfect ending
I wonder...
What do I have to do
For a happily ever after

Shadows on walls
Voices with no mouths
Faces that don't exist
Yet I can see them clear as day
I want to go out
Party the night away
Get drunk on laughter
Get high on the friendships
But where are they
These fake friends I have
Hallucinations in the night sky
Illusions I conjured up
While playing with Tonka toys
Ripping poor Barbies head off
I need friends
I need people willing to listen
I'm tired of wiping
Tears from the eyes of shadows
I want my tears to flow now
I want real friends
I never will though
Because these shadow knives
Hurt like hell
When plunged deep into my back
Guess it's time to move on
Rid my mind of fake friends
And play with guns and blades
Plunge my own knife
Into the pulsating demon
That lays deep in this echoing cavern
I'm tired of dealing with lies
And fake ******* drama
I need real friends
Willing to carry me through my struggles
Quick to dial 911
When I cut a little too deep
Or when foam starts bubbling at my mouth
Because I didn't mind the warning label
That clearly stated "Don't drink alcoholic beverages with medication"
Fake *** friends
**** them
Hi I'm Robert
Anybody want to be my friend?

Does anybody know where I can buy one?
I heard ebay might have them
I also heard death makes things better
Guess I will try them both

One slap from a dead cat
Dissected for an experiment
I'm not crazy
I promise I'm not
I just had to slap her
The old lady deserved it
She slapped me and beat me with her cane
I slap her once maybe twice
Ok three times I slapped her
With the ******
Guts dangling cat
I found already dead
In the back alleys of these graveyard streets
I'm not crazy
But I'm the one
Thrown in an uncomfortable position
I hate myself
So why strap me in this I-Love-Me jacket
Toss me in the darkest corner
Of asylum white walls
Close the door
Lock it
And seal me away
To a room where shadows
Possess your mind
Voices become insane
And nobody even knows you're there
I promise I'm not insane
I just felt cornered
Insulted by her actions
And the voices where laughing
Joker grins dancing on my eye lids
I had to slap her with the cat
So throw me in the asylum
Let me go in the next three months
I'm not insane I promise

I can resolve conflicts
With fist of pure rage
I can look you in the eyes
Whether I win or lose
And say I can respect you
I have violence in my veins
It flows like venom from a snake bite
Violence is the answer
When your intentions are not led astray

Ehi, ti amo
Non ti ** mai detto che ** fatto
Forse **
Mi hai sentito quando l'** detto?
Adreishka ... ti amo con tutto il mio cuore
Non voglio mai lasciarti andare
Voglio che nostro figlio sia perfetto
Lei è perfetta
Io non ti merito
Mi voglio sposare
Quindi, mi vuoi sposare?
Adreishka So che hai già detto sì
Ma dico sul serio
Voglio farti felice al di là di confronto


Translation for the people.


Hey I love you
I never told you that did I
Maybe I have
Did you hear me when I said it?
Adreishka...I love you with all of my heart
I never want to let you go
I want our son to be perfect
You are perfect
I don't deserve you
I want to marry you
So will you marry me?
Adreishka I know you already said yes
But I really mean it
I want to make you happy beyond comparison

He lied to me when he said I love you
He said he would never hurt me
Yet the first thing within the three months we have been together
Is cheat on me with my best friend
How could he do that to me?
I have my best friend/brother Robert
He beat him up but I gave him a ***** look when he came back
I love Robert
Adreishka thank you for making him let me vent
I know I haven't said much but I hate his guts
And You letting me sleep with Robert was very comforting
I needed to feel loved and safe
He told me how to spell your name
He really likes you
I just can't believe the guy who took my virginity
Cheated on me and then lied to me
The whole time we were together
**** I HATE HIS GUTS!!!!!!

Sincerely Amanda :)

All alone
Thousand tear soaked pillow casing
One sided perfectly made up bed
Alarm clock still set for 4:30 am
Clothes set out for church on Sunday
Phone in hand waiting for a call
To hear the words
"Honey I'm just leaving work can you start dinner?"
But she will never hear those words
"Honey I'm home"
As keys drop onto marble counter tops
Boots tracking mud
From the puddle outside
Due to the harsh storm
She lost her love
He was a veteran
Two purple hearts
A medal of honor
Three times he went to war
For a country that gave him nothing
He still had to work
Medical bills from his daughter
Diagnosed with cancer
Given three years to live
How much suffering does she have to endure
Before she drowns in her tears
And chokes on her sorrow weeps
Of constant coffin nailed grief
He lost his life
In the most profound way
He was robbing a bank
He couldn't get the cash
The money needed for his daughter's treatment
Yet when bullets created craters
Deep into his chest
And "Fire!" stopped echoing
This widow knew
She lost everything in her life
The bottles of whiskey
The overdosing medicine
The knife to wrist
The gun to her head
Still she couldn't find enough strength
To take another swig
To take another pill
To push a little harder
To squeeze the trigger
Emotionally drained
Taking its toll physically
Aged all to much
For her 29 year old frame
Dressed in black
Waiting for it to be her turn
For the coroner to nail the coffin shut
For the preacher to say
"We lay her down to rest after enduring such traumatic events."
A widow's tale is all but familiar
Yet the tragic events unfold
All too quickly
They seem all too alien

Take my life
Fall from the heavens
End this pain
Twinkle twinkle little star
I wished upon you
For this life to end
But you saw the pain
Gave me moonlight
Brighter than shining gold
More precious than oceans of silver
I wished upon a star
Your star
And you gave me a better life
Even though the pain is there
I still have her to love
And I thank you
You granted me a wish
I didn't wish

Father can you listen to me
Will you listen to me for a minute
I don't feel loved by you anymore
You were never home
Mom practically raised me
Everything I learned as a man
I learned by another man
Who took me under their wing
You didn't even talk to me about ***
I learned what I was doing as I kept on having it
I didn't know what an STD or *** was
I learned that in *** Ed
I had no idea on how to change the oil in a car
My boyscout leader taught me
Father we never spend anytime together
I wish we could play catch
I wish you could teach me how to ride a bike
But wait I forgot Rafial's dad did
You were always gone
No wonder I'm half a man
No wonder I'm emotionally distant
I have nothing to offer anybody
But half dead poetry
Based on killing myself
Because secretly I don't have a father
Even though he sits right next to me
I wish you would listen to me
But you're not here for me to tell you this
I hope you can forgive me
For resenting you all this time
I'm leaving in a year
And you still make no effort
In being here to see me off
Fine
I made it this far without you
I will make it farther without you
Hello father nice to see you
Goodbye father sorry you just got home
But I'm leaving

I'm your father
I want you to read this very carefully
I want you to understand something
I love you
I will always be proud of you
I'm 17 years old now
You are just a thought
You do not exist yet
But I want to tell you this now
Just in case I never come home again
I love you
I want you to know
I wish I could be there for your birthday
Wrap the presents on Christmas
Give you the keys to the car
When you're on your first date
I want to give you the money
So you can buy whatever you want
But if circumstances arise and conflict that
Know my dear son
I love you
I will be watching over you
You are a Guerrero
A warrior
So bear through the obstacles
Stay in school
Get good grades
Don't make the mistakes I have made
Love ever minute of your life
It's fragile and still young
I want to watch you get married
Become the man I never was
Son I love you
You have made me proud
And you haven't even been born yet
Nor have I even consummated with your mother
But I want you to know
I am a part of you
I want you know nothing of me
Just know I am your father
That I love you
That I am proud of you
Son you have a bright future
Just never let anybody say you are worthless
Don't fight with your mother
She loves you
She had to adjust to taking care of you
I wish you never have to read this
Because if you do
Then that means I am deceased and gone
But know I love you
I wish I could be there to give you the things
I was never blessed with
I want you to know
I have been through a lot
And my biggest mistake I will make
Is not being there for you
When you come out of your mother
I want to cry when I see you
I want to hold you
I want to tell you I love you
Look into your eyes
And say "You're a better man than I"
Son I  love you
Never stop moving
Go forward and turn the world upside down
You made me proud
Long before you were born
Because you are my son
And I know you will go farther than me
Because you know I love you
Son Ti amo
Ask your mom what that means
You're not alone
I'm in your veins
I'm every breath you take
I'm you because you are me
You're my son
So son, go far
When it feels like a dream
That's when it is real

                                                 Sincerely, Your Father,
                                                              Robert L. Guerrero

P.S. I love you
Good night
Sweet dreams
Tell your mom I love her
Tell her good night for me

Do you hear them?
There on the wind
Can you feel your blood curling?
Can you feel the chills crawl like spiders?
Can you taste the blood?
Can you taste the bitterness of horror?
Can you smell the decaying corpses?
Can you smell the fear present?
Shhhhhh...listen
The screams of horror
Mutilation of the weak
The cries of help
Desecration of purity
Listen to them
Answer them
Because they are your own
Coming deep from within

Send this life up in smoke
Let the ashes burn
Every wall shall crumble
Every soul shall fade
Every tear shall evaporate
Burn it down
Burn the castle walls
Of an empire
Burn down every building
These voices call home
Burn it all
Gasoline soaked pillows
Engulf this village of vacancy
With flames of black heat
Fill the lungs of badly burned bodies
With smoke poison
Burn it down
Set everything ablaze
Start from the inside
And work your way out

Dancing and taunting me
With evil grins under oak trees and pines
Calling unto me to finish the war
Show no mercy to these wrist
Show no mercy to these intestines
As razor blades and bottles
Disposed of quite quickly
One cut two cut
Three bottle four
All gone
I'm drunk
I'm bleeding
Oh well
Maybe tomorrow will never come
Kiss the sun for me
Say goodnight to the moon
For the later nights of the distant future
The shadows of the night
Beg me to join them
To fill and quench their thirst
With rivers of blood
Underneath this moons
Vacant shadow arrayed light
I'm sorry but I must finish what I started
This war will have to come to an end
And with five cut six cut
Seven bottle eight bottle
It is over...

Grab my hand
Go on take it
Let me take you away from this place
Step away from the edge
Together we can dance under the moon
Dancing in the moonlight
Might take your mind off things
Relieve your teary eyes
Please come with me
And let's go dancing
The way old couples do
Just with a bit more romance
Take my hand
Grab it and never let go
Dance with me in the moonlight
I love you

My fiance Adreishka Moonlight
Loves this poem
'In Response To Your Question'
So if you can go read it
Go Like it Love it
Read It again
I want it to be my most famous piece
All for her
I want you to read it
I want to give her this gift
Because I love her
And with your help
We all can put a smile on her face!


Also her birthday is May 8th so send her a message and say Happy Birthday!!!

This is the guide to a perfect suicide
Step one:
Go to the roof top of the tallest building
Step two:
Go to the edge
Step three:
Look down
Step four:
Scream out to the world "*******!!"
Step four:
Go home
Step five:
Go to your room
Step six:
Lock your door
Step seven:
Grab a pen
Step eight:
Grab a piece of paper
Step nine:
Write 'This Is The Death Of Me'
Step ten:
Pour your heart out and write how you would end it
Step eleven:
Stop writing
Step twelve:
Read what you wrote
Step thirteen:
Continue writing
Step fourteen:
Cry and let them fall on the paper
Step fifteen:
Log onto Hello Poetry
Step sixteen:
Post it on your page
Step seventeen:
Add it to several collections
Step eighteen:
Go back and add a note stating 'I wanted to do this'
Step nineteen:
Watch the 'Don't do it, You will be missed' rack up
Step twenty:
Reply to them all 'Thank you'
Step twenty one:
Keep killing yourself within your poetry
Step twenty two:
If you ever find the time...**** yourself
Within your poetry
If you ever doubt yourself
Don't resort to anything but coming to me
Call me if you have to
I will always be there for you
Waiting to comfort you
Step twenty three:
Clear your mind
Step twenty four:
This is the final step-
READ SOME REALLY DARK POETRY
FROM SOME RANDOM DARK POET
AND REALIZE YOU ARE NOT ALONE
There will be a lot of people
Who want to **** themselves
They will read this just as you have
And they will listen to my advice
Because I can get away with every possible crime
It's only poetry and there is no law
There is no judge
There is no jury
You are only guilty of one thing
Not killing yourself sooner
WITHIN YOUR POETRY
And **** what any body else says
You spoke your mind
You opened yourself up
You did what they couldn't...

...you found peace and solitude

Silver bullets
Golden crosses
Gallons of gasoline
A stake I am tied to
Put on trial for ******
In every degree
******* judge did decree
I was guilty
Nailed like a false idol
Of worthless prayers
To this imprisoning fortress
Of ropes and tears
Crown not of thorns
But of pen tops and pencil lead
Ink flowing from every pore
This is what you have declared
War on a poet
For the idea of suicide
I will not bow
So burn me upon this stake
Like a Salem witch
**** me for all eternity
Like a plagued hobo
I am a god among you pathetic cowards
Free even in life
To my ideas and ideal scenarios of death
Joker grins surrounding me
As the flames lick at my chest
Crawling endlessly like spiders
Engulfing me with every flicker of greed
I am not dead
I live in the hearts of the disciples
Those unheard, undead poets
Wanting nothing more than to be heard
So give me a megaphone
Let me scream
FREEDOM TO ALL
Into the speaker
Because that is what we are
I will pay the price for them
I will be what unlocks the chains
The modern day Jesus
Burned at the stake for his righteousness
Burned by the suicidal voices
Echoing within the hollow corridors
Of every brain cell

Tiny white pill
Extravagant relief after pain
Burning sensation down my throat
Like I swallowed lava
Foam erupting from the pores on my tongue
Heart slowing
Tiny white pill
I knew you were powerful
Great relief you have brought me
In this death