In the midst of tragedy
I forget how to write
How to express myself
I become incomprehensible
I fall silent
And let tears speak for me

If these feelings are forbidden
Then why do I have them?
Am I sick?
Am I broken?
But I was born with this
It can not be controlled
It is not my choice
I cannot change
This sensation cannot be corrected
It is embedded in my soul
It's the way I see
The way think  
And touch
It is who I am

It's okay to be shy
It's okay to be confident
It's okay to be weak
It's okay to strong
It's okay to be who you are
It's okay to be flawed
And separate to society's standards
It's okay to be weird
To go against ritual
It's okay to have multiple definitions of yourself
And be the person you envision yourself to be

I have ideas to express
I mustn't abandon them
I have dreams to uphold
I mustn't fail them
I have miles to walk in my journey
I mustn't diminish them
I have the arts to explore
I mustn't ignore them
I have words to say
I mustn't trap them
My future is approaching
I mustn't dispute it

Our future is in the hands of the dreamers
The creators, the doers, the believers
The ones that see the glass half full
The ones that are willing to push and pull
And fight for a better tomorrow
The ones with enough genius to be borrowed
We need to stand up with them, and stay extant
And make that tomorrow our present

Snow flakes dance and cover the dead leaves
Bringing brightness on the night before Christmas Eve
The cold is severe
But the crowd is overwhelmed with cheer
Red and green decorate cities and houses
While husbands wear the sweaters bought by their spouses
Lights and ornaments hang on the trees
Illuminating the holiday festivities
Voices of glee fill the night air
And children roam the parks without a care
Songs of delight travel through the masses
Love is savored while hate passes
Nutcrackers occupy window stills and keep guard
While snowmen are perched in yards
Parents list off who has been naughty or nice
As friends become lovers and skate on the ice
Little kids make angels in the snow
Ending the night in a neat little bow
We wrap our gifts and covet the day
The jolly man with the white beard comes our way

Violence doesn't solve violence
We think it heals what has been done
But it doesn't, I promise you
Responding with violence will only worsen the situation
It will continue the cycle of war and terror
There is no honor in taking another human life
Innocent lives will be caught in the crossfire
And our homes will crumble
The world will become a wasteland of violence
We must retaliate with peace
If we want to see progress in humanity
It's imperative to hold love higher than hate

We spend the best years of our lives
Preparing for years we have no interest in yet
Wasting what time we have in boxed rooms
Learning information we have little interest for
Information that is hammered into us
Until our heads splinter open
And all we thought we knew comes trickling out
Onto the floor
Wasted
No advice on the present is given
Only on numbers and history
In return we receive a life time supply of stress and worry
But we will be prepared for the future they say
We don't know what we are doing now
So what are the chances we know what we'll be doing ten years from now?

I'm told to smile more
To hide my misery behind my teeth
To keep my troubles to myself
My reputation must stay intact
I have to be pleasant
Because that's the way I am perceived
I am told to show more but show less
Eat more but eat less
Work more but get paid less
I'm told not to worry because someday it'll be fine
I get trivialized because of my ***
Because I have to act accordingly
Be gracious and welcoming
I get judged before I even say a word
And checked into a lesser category
I agree to things as if they have power over me
But you only have power over yourself
I want things to change
But I'm told to smile more

We disregard life as if it is just trash in the street
We extinguish life as if it is poison to our air
No matter ***, age, race
We are unguarded from the hands of evil
From monsters who decide to play god
We are the hosts of butchery and sadism
Innocence has been taken from the young
And replaced by the wrath of the elders
We are bred to slaughter all that is different
We are bred to take pleasure in the genocide against humanity

The stars intervened and gave us a hero
An alien from Mars
A rebel of the norm
He introduced modern love
He taught us to dance
He was the man that changed the world
He was an oddity to our planet
Ashes to ashes
The man fell from Earth
Leaving behind golden years to remember

I want my voice to carry through the skylines of the earth
I want my voice to be fearless
To say words most are afraid to say
I want my voice to be digested by the masses
And admired by many
My voice will ring in their ears
Until long after I have passed
I want my voice to be strong
To be assured
I don't want my voice to be lost
Or regarded futile
I want to speak without doubt
I want my voice to be heard

It's time I mend my wings
And take flight
I turn my back against the strife
And ascend with buoyancy
I adjust my fate
So it fits my aim
I frolic in the clouds
And twirl as I glide over the hills
I breakthrough barriers with compelling force
I grow more powerful instead of totter
I'm the wind when it rises
Watch me soar

When I grow old
When I succeed
When I encounter true love
Time has past
Nothing has changed
I still wear the same face
My hands belong to the work of another man
And my heart is secured in a casket
Time has past
Nothing has changed
If I encounter true love
If I succeed
If I grow old

Dear boys
She doesn't have to say yes
She doesn't have to like you
She doesn't have to meet your needs
She is your equal
A human being
She has the right to look the way she wants
Smell the way she wants
Speak the way she wants
Your words don't validate her existence
Her mind and body doesn't belong to you
She does not need your harassment
Or your ***
She needs what she wants
She is your equal

Only on the still nights can you hear our screams
The strong winds and heavy rains might keep us at a whisper
But don't let that deceive you
The false love and resentment
It's all still there
Just buried temporarily
Our emotions are misdirected
And our arguments are redundant
Yet we continue this suffering
To spare another's tenderness
Instead we dissipate our words
And continue this distorted reality

Sometimes I can't sleep
Sometimes I feel lonely
Sometimes my anxiety causes panic attacks
Sometimes my anxiety forces me to fail
Sometimes my paranoia scratches at my brain until it bleeds
Sometimes my heart beats faster than lightening
Sometimes depression plows through my body
Sometimes my thoughts are too morose to share
But I keep finding reasons to breathe

My art is me
Every word, every letter
Every idea that goes on to paper
Comes from the blood that courses through my veins
Etched from my bone marrow
The words you read are lifted from skin
And exposed for all to absorb
Every word you read
You are reading me
As if I am under your microscope
You will learn more of me from my art
Than in a conversation between us
My art is me

We have to guess how to deal with our emotions
Before we catch our first glimpse of light
They are already making their presence known
They come out as a flood
Emotions then control us
Translate what is beneath us
But we never fully understand them
What to do when they reveal themselves
Eventually we learn to embrace them or suppress them
Accept our human quality
Or cloak it with false definitions
In ways erratic and harmful
Emotions can turn violent when crammed together
Fill us up with bemused rage
Resulting in tribulations

The landscape that surrounds me is changing
Folding and unfolding into a strange, new locale
My present drags heavy
As I await it's final alterations
Parts of me demand the familiar
As others desire undisclosed possibilities
My current living has grown tired
I scavenge for a feat worth declaring
I grow into my new surroundings
Until it fuses with my movements
With my thoughts
I grow until I am fully fulfilled

I should've cut my hair
So you could see my face
I should've quicken my stride
So I could keep up with you
I should've kept close
Now you are a star in different universe
My world has turn cold
The frost bites at my soul
I should have listened
Instead I filled my head with worry and angst
I should've acted before it was too late
And stares became glances
My passion for you grew after you left
After my time ran out
I should've realized
Now what I could've had
Remains an illustration in my mind

Neurotic thoughts enter me at dusk
Warning me my time alive is dwindling
And I have nothing to display for it
My heart hammers as the rest of me loses heft
My will is drained of power
The center of attention belongs to the forlorn thoughts within my headspace
My anticipation of the future has been poisoned
My self conviction has ceased to exist
These thoughts prevent me from rest
I try to keep busy but all of me has succumbed to these notions
All I can do is wait until they pass

I detest myself
My mind is always in conflict
With thoughts I don't wish to think
With someone I don't want to be
I want to be someone better
Someone good
But something good cannot exist in me
It will stifle and die at the hands of my  cynicism  
My isolation is meant to protect others
I dwell in the greyest areas of this world
Where I lust after pride and decency
I don't trust the words that leave my mouth
They deny my right to be genuine
My demeanor is built by fear and lies
And crumbles with every year that passes
This life I live is unremarkable
But what I feel isn't shame
Because I still try
I endure and grow
To fill myself up with pride

I push people away before I can object
I ask to be alone so I can decompose on my own
I allow loneliness to eat away at me
Deliberately
I drown in isolation
Why
Since company is a necessity to me?
I do not know
I let the routine continue
Until the mosaic it creates is finished
I interrupt on occasion
To let people in and enjoy amity

The self entitlement that we possess will be the ruin of our generation
Or our theory that we know more than the person next to us
We then refuse to talk to individuals we think are inferior to us
Inferior to our knowledge and what we believe
Or we talk in a condescending manner
And what we are trying to convey is lost in our narcissism
We are indifferent towards our elders
For they are the ones who led us down this path
We are a generation that does nothing but blame
It is necessary that we are not indifferent to one another
We must build upon this crippled planet
So we don't continue the cycle
We are all lost
We are all confused
We all have troubles
We must bury our egos
And broadcast our intelligence to create a new phase in our history

It's my body
It belongs to me
No one else
I decide how it looks
It can be muscular
It can be fat
it does not have to meet your standards
It can be ******
It can be celibate
It's my choice
Imperfections are spread across my body
With them my body is perfect
My body is not your concern
It is not an object you can critique  
Or criticize
My body is mine
And it's the way I want it to be

My heart aches from lack of love
It has become a stone in my chest
My head throbs with thoughts of love
Love that isn't present
I've lost rhythm in my dance
And walk at a slower pace
I cry in silence
As I yearn for a love that will vitalize my body and soul
My nights are sleepless
As I wonder what could be
And what would be
If I were to romp with love
My love
I'm so in love
Words I wish to say
I dream
Of sharing a night with someone who brings me warmth
I dream of love as my heart aches

Fear is like a cancer, it will eat at you until you're nothing.
It will make you weak like a bird with a broken wing.
If you're having a good day, fear will  change that
Once it has ahold of you it will make you grovel in tears, that's a fact.
Fear won't stop until it has won.
Until the weight on your shoulders feels like a ton.
I've found the only way to face fear is to accept it.
You will never get rid of it
But the sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can live.
Not hide, not cower, but actually live

I cry because of hate
Because of all the bigotry that causes ******
I cry because this world is tearing itself to part
Because children suffer through our mistakes
I cry because of beauty  
Because glimmers of humanity still show among revulsion
I cry because hilarity can still be found in the bleakest of moments
Because children still find zeal and the joy of living
I cry because life is ugly but still worth living

Excitement keeps me awake readily
Fear ceases it's control
And allows a briefness of avidity
I look to the future
And for once see jubilation
An era of triumph awaits me
Hope squanders my worry
My thoughts for once work in my favor
Without trial
Is this suspense deceived?
Or will my expectations become my fortune?

It's in our nature to search for more
Because the world we live in now is such a bore
What we have is never enough
We always try to venture to the next level, even if it is tough
It's what gives us purpose, keeps us going
We want to be all knowing
This earth is too small for us, it's become a clod
Sooner or later we will leave it, in hopes to become gods

If it wasn't for you I'd be gone
I was going through life feeling like a pawn
But you gave me hope and direction
You gave me all of your affection
Even when your mind wasn't whole
You gave purpose for my soul
Lately my days have been filled with yawns
Ever since you've been gone

He was a good man
He was successful
He had the perfect career
And a nice car
He had fame and fortune
But was he happy?
That I do not know

As long as I breathe
I will have emotions to express
Dreams to interpret
Words to write
As long as I continue
I will indulge every moment
I will eat up the scenery until only crumbs are left
I will swim in the foods I consume
As long as I exist
I will dance in the shadow of the moon
I will test my fears until my roar is heard across the universe
As long as I live
I won't let life harm my purpose

I squeeze my eyes shut
Hoping it will purge my demons
I pinch my side
Hoping it will rid my pain
I hold my breath
Hoping it will end the panic
I hide from the noise
Hoping it won't notice me
I stay invisible
Hoping I never encounter anguish
I nurse my anxiety
Hoping it will someday leave

I am more than just a body
I am skin
I am bones and emotion
I am a heart
And a brain
I have a voice
I am more than just ***
I am oxygen
I am powerful
I am deserving of respect
I am not to be used
Or shamed
For I am a human just like you
I am a woman

My voice is lost before it's even heard
It gets twisted in the wind
What I mean to say is lost in a murmur
My words fade into the pollution that fills the air
Voices more penetrating than mine obscure what I mean to say
What is already a whisper turns even more dull
Quickly forgotten
My words become futile to the ears around me