Sometimes going off the edge isn't going crazy
Jumping off a building isn't always cowardice
Sometimes it's bravery, courage.

Knowing that something will catch you is security
It extracts the bravery and courage from the act
Leaving only a desire for speed
A lust for the adrenaline rush
A sudden need for attention

Falling with a safety net prevents loss
Loss doesn't always result in devastation
It can awaken you to new realizations and discoveries

Letting yourself fall without the knowledge or guarantee of being caught shows faith
Trust in the world around you
But that trust may be deceiving
Extracting all doubt from your mind
Leaving empty room to be filled by recklessness

A bored body has an active mind
The mind must compensate for the lack of work being done by the body
And a mind can conjure the world
Twisting it into a realm of one's dreams
That world can be made a reality
If only the body makes it so
The body now holds responsibility over creation, leaving the mind in the dark

The darkness is nothing to be afraid of
Unless you fear going off the edge

Everything changes
We're all so afraid of it
Change
Two becomes three and then four and then...
Sometimes we aren't expecting change
Most of the time, we don't welcome it
Personally, I am obsessed with change
I don't want to stay in one place and settle down
I want to see new places
Try new things
Hear new music
Eat new foods
Meet new people
Create new memories.
I want to come home to dinner with my parents and have new stories to tell
I want change.
Change is my best friend.
When change and I stop getting along, I'll settle down
Quite a change.
I want to finally sit down and watch everything else change while I stay in one spot
I'll let my face change from young to new.
I'll welcome old age with open arms.

Most people are afraid of old age.
The wrinkles, the sagging and the gray hair.
I refuse to age until I have accomplished my dreams
Once I have, I will sit and age.
I am not scared.
What's there to be scared about?
The wrinkles represent so much more than just age.
They represent all the years you have been breathing
All the times spent with your family watching TV on a Saturday night
The years spent running away from reality
The year you met your first love
The year they broke your heart
The year you cried every day
The year you forgot all your problems and saw the world
The year you found a job
The year you had to become an adult
The year you made a new friend
The year you and your friend spent every day together
The year you and your best friend got married
The years you spent together with your family
The years leading up to you, sitting on your porch staring at the same sky that you would stare at every night
That sky never changed.
But you will.
I will.
And I'm not afraid.

You get your picture taken
The person behind the camera says "Smile!"
So you do
They say that if you want a pretty picture you'll smile
So you do
You can show your picture to your friends and family
They'll say,
"Look at that beautiful smile!"
"You look so pretty!"
"You look so happy!"
But that's just it
You LOOK so happy
That's the thing with image
We strive to be beautiful
Thin
Graceful
****.
We think these things will bring us happiness
They don't.
They bring attention.
We are constantly under a microscope
A lens
And everything we do is picked apart piece by piece until our confidence is ripped to shreds and our eyes are raw from tears.
The expectations of the world around us are overwhelming
We are barraged on a daily basis with criticism
Ridicule
Judgement
Harassment
Ignorance
Many of us are capable of treading water until we feel it's safe to swim with the rest
But there are others who slip under the waves and no one stops to help them
No one acknowledges the struggles
The feelings
The pain
The starvation
The cuts.
Our problem is that we don't strive for happiness
Happiness for ourselves and for others
We only strive to appear happy
Many of us succeed
But few of us actually are.
Even fewer of us take the time to consider those who are pretending
Those who smile when they are told
But hurt when they close their bedroom door.

A smile is too beautiful a thing to be left empty.

Inspiration stems from connection
My connection is disconnected
Reaching towards different things and places...and people
My inspiration is cold when I'm warm
It is loneliness when all I have is company
It is comfort when I am uncomfortable
It takes me to far off places

When I drive I am liberated
My music blasts
Engulfing me
Immersed in the symphony
Speeding down a road where a million have before me
Searching helplessly
Staring into infinity
And drowning in the melody

Windows cracked
I feel the cool wind
All over me
Cold night and it comforts me
The moon is dead and I can barely see
Driving dazed and carelessly
Engine roaring ferociously
As the music flows inside of me

The wind rushes in
As if it were the water
Fighting to drown me
End me
I thrash uncontrollably
Gasping and gulping and trying to breathe
Reaching the surface finally
Coughing up inspiration violently

I am inspired by many things
But I translate my inspiration the same way every time
In the sun
In the moon
In the darkness
In the light
In black
And in white
In the sadness
And delight
In the comfort
And in the fright
In the day
And in the night

You see, I feel that contrast is beautiful
I find opposites to compliment each other so well that they belong together constantly
I feel both conflicting emotions at the same time
And they balance out
Balance is key
And I have found it within myself
Therefore I communicate as such
Balanced
Equal

When the sun goes down
all the monsters from
every shady corner
and dark alley
in my mind
close in

Sinking and sparkling // soothing
Beneath such a glinting eye
Pulling and falling with every crushing blunder
Under the thunder
Resisting // whispering
Seemingly screaming loudly in the silence
Does it make a noise if no one is there?
Carefully clashing while crestfallenly caressing
The limit // the highest and the lowest
The crest lulls // the crescent pulls
Pushing to the edge
Tug of war is an act of much more
When there's nowhere and everywhere to fall.