the papers torn out,
secrets i can't reveal,
there's so much i can write,
and i write what i feel.
People,
Love,
Anger,
And fear.
What these papers hold are dear,
Close to me,
And more than just words,
The things I write is my world between lines.

pictures only tell one story;
lies
you can fake a smile on camera,
and nobody would know.

i build myself,
into a newer version of me,
except sometimes it's not a good change.

like dawn,
i rise my head up,
and remember my values most,
then comes sunset,
and i feel down again.

some days, i feel as if i'm not worth being loved,
as if today will be my worst day ever,
as if anything and everything could go wrong,
and other days, i feel as if i can rule the world,
and i remember the people that love me
and the people i love.

i love rhythm,
whether it's music,
poetry,
or simple spoken words.

there's too many things people say,
and if i can't pick which one i like,
i'll just listen to myself.

some lies,
some truth,
and some are an escape from your world,
the life that stories hold,
sometimes better than our own.

the joy of alone,
my solitude gives me space,
it helps me think,
sometimes i just need to be around nobody but myself.

sometimes it's hard to tell
whether somebody's love is unconditional,
and it makes me think of people differently.

my weaknesses,
they hold me down.
I try to get up,
but there's no way how.
I try to escape it,
and try to be strong,
but they'll be here forever,
and i won't last long.

i paint my canvas everyday,
i enlarge the painting,
so i can display,
the colors of me,
and the colors of my feelings,
i'll give myself
a moment for healing.

i'm not going to live your lies,
i'm going to live my truth,
whether you like it or not.

if destiny is fate,
can i change it?

i feel like i can't do much
with being me,
when all i want to do
is help others feel appreciated.

i live in the prison,
of the fear of being judged.
It's like hell,
but even worse.
Every day, i spend being somebody i'm not,
even when i'm tired of it.
I'm an inmate in my own mind,
and i just can't get out.

dear future,
don't hide things from me,
let me be sad,
and anger take over me.
i know i can't decide things,
but don't make it perfect,
i want the ups and downs,
i want it to be worth it.

dear future,
please take care of me,
whatever you have in store,
just let it come to me,
i don't want to rush things,
or make things bad,
but i just want my future to be mine,
not anyone to have.

thank you future,
for hearing me out,
i'd like it if you'd answer,
i don't want to scream and shout.
It may not be worth it,
but it works just right for me,
please keep me happy,
and take care of us please.

everyone's a liar,
we lie about ourselves,
we put ourselves through something,
and never tell someone else.
We want to keep us secret,
so we say that we're okay,
so that we don't get attention,
and the world keeps working anyway.

you take a piece of me,
and i fall,
cuz there's no support,
nothing to help me in a world so small.
I can't live without a piece of me,
can you build it up
and tower me please?

she's smiling,
but is she really joyful?
she needs some time to be her,
not smile when she's feeling awful.
She finds herself being too gloomy again,
so she tries to be fake,
and hides her feelings from her friends,
if that's what it takes.
She's going through her own struggles,
but doesn't want to show,
that she's not happy at all,
and that her feelings are to grow.

everyone has something,
that gives them a feeling of inner power,
for me, it's the art i create.
I'm not only making this for others,
i'm making it for myself.
Art is the one thing
that others shouldn't have an opinion on,
because what i portray in my art,
is what's going through my mind.

six feet under,
there lies the bodies of the dead,
the ones who sacrificed their lives,
and those killed themselves instead.
There lies the fate,
of the ones that were to die,
some couldn't help themselves,
and others just wanted to fly.

silence is so loud.
it's louder than the thunderstorms,
louder than hell,
silence is louder than actual words,
only because you kept it that way.

is it the moon that's calling?
or the reflection of the sun,
that asks for light?

it's not easy being with you,
but it's not easy leaving you either

not every sky is blue,
and not all the grass is green,
not every prince is charming,
and neither is the queen.
things aren't always the same,
and sometimes will never be,
so let go of cliche,
and let changes come to me.

sleep is beauty,
i hold onto my dreams,
i rest my eyes,
and leave me at peace.

limits,
are just a way to show that we have control over something,

even though we end up crossing the limits.

i can smell the coffee beans,
in your breath all day,
the smell of your clothes,
when we met today,
you smelled of tulips,
and heavily of cologne,
i love the smell of freshness,
that you always seem to hold

i patiently wait for my demons
to take me to their home,
because i feel that i belong there,
and i know i'm not alone.

someone get me out of this fantasy,
it's too good to be true,
i could live here happily,
but it wouldn't be fair to you.

i'm in space,
but it's nothing like the movies.
it's empty,
like a black sheet of paper,
with white dots.
the view of earth,
makes me feel small.
the moon is gorgeous,
and the sun is not so near,
and i feel freedom, and solitude, with nobody here.

i may be fragile,
i may be lost,
but i love when i'm hurt,
no matter what it costs.
the pain is numbing,
and i feel no more,
so i let it stay,
just a minute more.

i'm living happily,
yet i've had enough,
i want to laugh,
but i cry too much.
i live by name,
and what i want to be,
except sometimes it's hard to be happy

what is beauty?
is it my eyes, my lips, my face?
what is beauty?
is it what others make of it?
what is beauty?
is it who i truly am as a person?
but what is it
if it isn't that?

maybe beauty is just what we make of it.

𝘢𝘮 𝘪 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦?
stop thinking about it, just go to sleep.
𝘢𝘮 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦?
don't think, just close your eyes.
𝘥𝘰 𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧?
stop.
𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦?


i don't know.

i never will.

just let me sleep

nothing is perfect,
so there is never a "forever"

5 minutes left.
i thought we were in this together?
4 minutes left.
i can't be with you
3 minutes left.
i've gotta run
2 minutes left.
this can't be true
1 minute left.              
i have nothing to say
10 seconds left.
goodbye, i loved you, but the end is today.

liar, liar
you said you were fine.
liar, liar
i believed you the whole time.
liar, liar
tell me why you didn't say?
that you were hurting
and that i made you feel that way?
you could've been honest,
and told me the truth,
but you went your own way,
you're not happy now, are you?

tell me which way
the river flows,
should i follow along it,
or jump down below?
tell me how
you want the river to be,
clear and blue,
or ***** and green?
it's your choice,
cuz you told me so,
but are you sure,
that the river even flows?

how do i measure life?
it's balanced by the people you love,
and the people that love you.
It's balanced by the people you hate,
and the ones that hate you.
It's balanced by how you love yourself,
and how you take care of yourself.
But sometimes, the scale gets unbalanced,
and you don't want to live anymore

the sun sets,
because she believes she's not good enough,
and the sun rises,
because she has faith in herself

i was walking the path my whole life,
too afraid for changes,
until i decided to steer to the right,
where i was happier than ever,
and i wasn't following a specific path,
except mine

i'm good at surviving, but not living

my lungs fill with fire,
and my heart bleeds the flames.
It's what i desire,
there's no need for shame,
i breathe out the hate,
and inhale what i need,
my problems aren't yours,
so let them be.
You're not here to love me,
so what're you here for?
My skin is now burnt,
there's nothing to live for,
you hated me,
and so did i,
now let me be,
so i can die

you say that love is unconditional,
but if you truly knew me,
you'd turn away

the dark holds more secrets,
than the light ever could,
i want to stay here,
and i know i should.
I'm not who i want to be,
except in the dark,
because the night holds me,
like my secrets in the dark

i was awake,
when the world was asleep,
it was like i was my primal self,
just me.
The moon was speaking,
and said what it had do,
the stars were peeking,
and watched me dance to,
the music of the silence,
when the world was asleep,
i was happy,
with me, and only me.

the bright night,
the sad smiles,
the deafening silence,
the living dead,
it never made sense,
but it was the way it was

sleep is a distraction and an alternative
for death,
it's simply an escape from life,
my problems,
so i don't have to deal with them for a while