They exist
They have to
They must
I know they do

I saw them
Clearly
I dug their bones out from underneath our feet
But they turned to dust
And now they feel the deserts

I swear they were real
They were as real to me as this paper and this pen
I think that statement destroys my credibility a bit
But I felt them

If I felt them once
Why don’t they come back?
Why don’t they exist anymore?
Why can’t I find them?

Some people say it’s because they never existed
I try not to believe what they say
But the days go on
And I become more susceptible to the heartless priest and vain churches
But I fight with all my soul

What if my soul doesn’t exist anymore either?
What if it never existed?
Could I stand that idea?
It still exists
I feel it that means something

Maybe they exist in me now
Because I feel them
Or remember them, at least

If I go deaf
And I scream
I wouldn’t hear it
But I would feel it

If I go blind
And I cry
I wouldn’t see the tears
But I would feel my moist cheeks

They are gone
I am numb

But at times
I feel them
Or I think I can feel them

And for me
That’s enough

It sits on the counter
Looking at me with a seductive grin
Dying to tell me the stories it holds

The romance that it was in the middle of
The secrets it held
And the lies it told

All for love
It sits here on my counter
With its dust wiped off

I don’t know what to do with it
It wont open any doors for me
As it did for those once young lovers

The young lovers
Torn apart from a nasty war
The only thing keeping their romance

Was this old skeleton key
To their secret hide away
Where they both lost themselves and became one

Years later I end up with this old key
That holds its secrets so tight
And wont unlock anything for me

It mocks my wondering curiosity
And laughs at my attempts to unlock
The secrets it holds

It sits on a string now
I wear it close to my heart
As the young girl once did

The key to the only thing
That made her life worth living
Until the deadly day they were separated forever

I feel their love
I feel the pain
I feel it all through this old metal key

She ‘s here with me, I feel her around me
She watches me cry
She watches me as I lose myself
She just stands there and watches

She knows I feel her, but she does nothing
She doesn’t wipe my tears
She doesn’t show me where I have gone
She just stand there and watches

She’s here in the room
She cannot speak
She cannot touch
She can only see

I look into her eyes
In that moment I regret my entire life
That agony in her eyes
That pain she feels, makes me want to die

I hate myself
I hate myself for wanting her to console me
She is the one in need
How could I be so selfish

I reach my hand out to her
To touch her face, to soothe her soul
To help her in some humanly way
For she looks no longer human

My hands pass through her
Her ghostly body still standing in front of me
I want to hug her
I want her to know things will be okay

She walks to the end of the room
Then back again, passing the dry empty room
She walks back to me, she is crying
She takes a mirror out of her pocket

She turns the mirror towards me,
The image is myself,
I am her
She is me.

your heart doesnt beat for me any longer
it sits there stagnate wanting nothing to do with me

it wants to be free of me
and ready to beat for another

you made love to me
your kiss touching every inch of my soul

your hands wrapped in mine
the words i love you spilling out

you broke my heart
time and again and left the pieces on the cold pavement

you left me used
and for someone else to repair

you were so in tune with me for awhile
until something interrupted it

Leaving only anger behind
anger for what we weren't

anger for something that we couldnt be
and im still here

standing here, naked with emotions
telling you what my heart wants

and you want none of it,
not my love

not my spirit
not my heart to call your own

nothing.

when our love was alive
i knew that i loved you
now that it has dissipated
i know how much i really loved you

i never meant to love you that much
i never meant to let my self get this vulnerable
i tried to somewhat protect my heart
i tried to not love you completely

its to late now
im already hurting day by day
as you continue life like it never happened
like im just another girl

like we never made love
like we never touched each other souls
like we never stared into each others eyes
like we never wanted to say i do

im trying to be like you
move on with someone new
but my heart wont be the same
it wont love anyone new yet

i stand there trying to block my mind
block from remembering you
block from telling me how i feel
block from letting the sickness enter my body again

my heart and head are against each other
and im lost in the middle
trying to figure everything out
guess this is heartache...

from the first time
your eyes and mine met
i saw something there

something i only knew i wanted to know more of
your smile that kept me guessing
that feeling in the pit of my stomach

my heart wanted yours
the only love at first sight i knew
the feelings flooding my head

your innocence of life
helped me feel whole again
brought me home from war

your laughter
rang in my ears
creating happiness

your arms around me
giving me strength to overcome
helped me feel safe

your voice
that calmed my nightmares
and brought me back to who i was

your touch
that penetrated my soul
made my heart race

your eyes
the way they saw me, so deeply into who i am
made me want to stare forever, and feel so at home

your heart
that was so kind to those you loved
that stole mine

I'm trying to put it into words
why i really love you
and there aren't words strong enough

aren't strong enough to convey
that i want you forever
i want us forever

I want this feeling forever
this feeling of our hearts being connected
our souls entwined

from the first moment
i knew there was something there
from the way my heart screamed at me

Forever you will have piece of my heart
forever i will love you
forever i will want to stare into your eyes and feel it all over again.

He was miles away but inches close.
He falls asleep when I awake.
I didn't understand this distance,
His mentality and mine matched.
Pixels created a love I'd never known.
I spent days dreaming of touching his face,
and nights feeling him on me,
my cotton sheets charaded.
It seemed so senseless to society, but I loved you.
The words disappeared, like your screen had broke.
Like you were dead.
Then alive.
Like you were dead again.
And alive again.
You swung, and I was waiting every time you came back.
Still, I wait beside my computer. Hoping today you'll be alive to me again.