"Will you marry me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Well, for starters, I'm a sheep."

"Oh, come on, Betty. I'm nuts about you."

"I'm sorry, Doctor, but just because I've opened up about my life to you doesn't mean we are in love."

"But what about our after-session meetings in the back of my van?"

"That was two lonely souls feeding each other's needs for comfort."

"Betty! You callous *****!"

"You think you were the only one? Ted, the janitor, quite often shafted me as well."

"Well, I'll be blowed."

"Not by me anymore. Goodbye, Doctor. Thank you for helping me through the death of my little Tilly, and thank you for a few good rogerings. I'm going to make a go of it with my husband again."

"But he's shagged most of the sheep on the farm."

"Yes, but he's hung like a baboon."

"Okay, fair enough, Betty. Good luck."

"Goodbye, Doctor."

Press play.

Essence fills the cold, biting air.
Thoughts drift back to the day we met.
Her words soothed my splintered heart, her presence made me feel safe.

The first time we spoke, nerves filled my soul.
This was not just a woman—this was a new feeling,
a blessing,
a gentle kiss laced with understanding.

And then, oh, goodness—and then—she took us high.
Flying past clouds to the golden place,
our bodies became one. I was mesmerized.

All at once, a deeper meaning to everything
was revealed.
This love was a love I had never known.

Looking at her face, I melted—
beautiful chestnut hair, perfect lips,
breathtaking eyes, a smile from the heavens.

Love discovered me.

I lie still as Essence continues to play.
I swear undying, loyal love
to this incredible woman—
my Goddess.

Forever.
Eternally.

Even when the sun has set,
The stars still shimmer bright.
Her radiance enfolds my soul,
Each morning and each night.
Released beyond this fleeting world,
Expanding past all time,
A serene embrace unites our hearts;
Love’s glow now shapes this rhyme.

"I'm so tired of this."

"You want out?"

"No, I just want us to get along."

"What's the problem? I thought you
loved my tempestuousness?"

"I do, but.."

"Darling, I never promised you a
rose garden."

I live my life
hidden away,
far from people
or dragons to slay
Solitude
is my preferred choice
Poetry
is my one true voice

"Did anyone see you come in?"

"No, my dearest."

"Oh! You've brought me daffodils!"

"Golden trumpets for a golden gal."

"At this rate, our secret love will be no secret anymore."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"I've had it with this heat. I can't breathe, I keep coughing and
the doctor still hasn't come to see me."

"It's a life full of trap doors, my sweet. Only yesterday I fell down
one and landed flat on my back. Now all I can do is wish the day
away until bedtime."

"It's a good job we're in bed, then."

"It certainly is. Shall we smoke some lung destroying tobacco?"

"Sounds perfect, but first come here and give me a cuddle."

"We are awful, aren't we?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Oh, I do love you."

"As I love you. "

"Kiss me, you miserable *****."

"He-he, there's more than that on the menu."

"I say, darling, would you care for a glass of gin?"

"Don't mind if I do. Could you kindly pass me a roll-up?"

"Why, yes. Here's your gin, and if you open your mouth, I'll pop this cancer stick in."

"Thank you, kind gentleman. May I have a light?"

"Oh, how remiss of me. Here you go... there... you are fired up."

"That's delightful. My lungs are eternally grateful."

"Darling."

"Yes, my love?"

"May I be so bold as to kiss your neck?"

"Right, that's it. Enough of this posh *******. Get over here and ravage me, you **** *******."

"It would be my pleasure, you ***** *****."

In the days of yore, there abided a wee fairy devoid of a name.
She oft flitted about the forest,
twirling with the moonbeams and sprinkling
fairy dust upon the fallen.

One day, a wayfaring prince crossed her path.
Peculiar sensations surged through the tiny fairy.
She knew not the meaning of such emotions.

The prince vanished from sight,
and she carried on her merry way.

That night, she dreamt of a sunrise so radiant
it nearly burned her delicate wings.

Awakening to the melodies of birdsong,
the fair nymph felt a dampness betwixt her thighs.

"Methinks," pondered the wee fairy, "what hath befallen me?"

The day passed, and once more she spread benevolence
to the suffering souls she passed by.

And there he stood again.

Curiosity piqued, she swooped down to perch at his feet.

"Who art thou?" she asked mirthfully.

"Why, greetings! I am Prince Richard. And pray, tell—thy name?"

"I am a nameless fairy."

The prince smiled.
"Fly up to my shoulder—I have somewhat for thee."

And up she did flutter.

"Art thou prepared, little fairy?"

She nodded, her mind filled with bewilderment.

Prince Richard softly blew a gentle kiss her way.

All too soon, the sun gleamed brighter,
the birds sang sweeter melodies,
and the squirrels danced upon the boughs of the trees.

And then...

In a cloud of fairy dust and myriad stars,
she transformed into a woman.

"Oh, mine Prince Richard, what sorcery hath befallen me?"

"Thou hast revealed thy true nature. Now, bethink thee—what is thy name?"

The new woman grinned widely.
"I am called Lily-Rose."

The prince nodded.
"Greetings, Lily-Rose. I am Richard. Let us dance."

Together, they truly danced.
The creatures of the woods joined in the merriment,
and ere long, the entire forest overflowed with love.

Lily-Rose and Richard spent each day guffawing and jesting,
and ere long, love blossomed betwixt them.

"Lily-Rose."

"Aye, my prince."

"Shall we…"

"Oh, aye, let us make love."

And make love, they did, again and again beneath the moon's tender gaze.

They dwelt a splendid life,
with each passing day more exhilarating
and ardently affectionate than the last.

True love discovered the little fairy and the wayward prince.
It had forever resided within them;
they were merely unaware of its presence.

And indeed, they lived happily ever after.

"You want business, love?"

"No, thank you, but I do have a proposal for you."

"Oh yeah? What's that, then?"

"If you come with me now to the church just across the road and pray with me for a while, I'll grant you entry into heaven."

"Who do you think you are? Jesus?"

"I am a simple man. I go by many names. Will you accompany me and save your soul?"

"Look, mate, it's fifty for a **** and twenty for oral. You want business or not?"

"My child, I bless you. Take this money and buy some food. Maybe tomorrow you will reconsider visiting the house of God."

"Cheers for the cash, mate. You're a strange one, aren't you? You want a blowie before you leave?"

"Oh, go on then."

"Tell me what the skies were like when you were young."

"They were black, sometimes with a hint of purple. I preferred the night skies. Gazing deeply at long-gone stars that still shone so very bright."

"Now, can you recall the first time you wet yourself?"

"Strange question, OK, well I was sitting in the family living room. It was a cold winter evening, and we had no form of heating. Our overcoats and blankets from our beds were strewn over us to keep the chills at bay.
This night, my Father had decided to allow me to stay up late to watch a film (I usually went to bed at 6.45 pm exactly).
As the film started there was lots of haunting spooky music and visuals, my God it was Damien: Omen 2. I was instantly in a panic as the previous time I was allowed to stay up late was for The Omen, and it terrified me.
This time I tried to remain calm, but my body was in turmoil. I started to feel the urge to urinate, yet did not want to show I was scared in any way or leave the comfort of my blankets.
Eventually, I had no choice and ran like the wind to the toilet, leaving a wet trail behind me.
Laughter erupted from my siblings and my Father, culminating in a thrashing from his leather belt."

"What about your Mother?"

"She just sat there, smoking a roll-up, looking into thin air."

"Alright Richard, I think that's enough for this session, I'll see you next week."

"Thank you, Doctor, just one thing…"

"What's that?"

"Can I use your toilet please?"

"Hello, Betty, take a seat."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"How have you been since Tilly passed away?"

"It's been rough. I'm still producing milk. The farmer steals that each day to sell for profit. I feel used, abused, and lost without my little Tilly."

"You knew it was coming, though. You knew any lambs born would be taken to market."

"Yes, I knew, but it still hurts my heart. Why can't we live our lives as humans do? My husband doesn't seem to care either. All he thinks about is the next sheep he can impregnate."

"This is the way things are, I'm afraid, Betty. Man sees you as a commodity, and Tilly was part of it."

"I loved her. She... she... she was my world. Now her memory is one of pain and anger. Anger that she was murdered and ended up on a dinner plate."

"Would you like some medication to help you with the stress?"

"It won't bring my baby back, will it?"

"No. But—"

"You're the same, Doctor. You're all the same."

"Betty, sit back down. We have another thirty minutes."

"Goodbye..."

"Madam, would you kindly remove
this arrow from my heart?"

"No, I think I'll wait until infection
sets in."

"How cruel you are."