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renay esquivel Nov 2016
i love how i felt w him, i loved how he kissed me and i loved his smile
i loved the way he would roll his eyes at me when i was messing around and the stupid little bed time stories he would tell me so i could fall asleep
his voice. my god his voice. and the way his body was because i felt comfortable w him.
i love his eyes and looking into them and i swear to god mine were brighter when with him. and i smiled a little bigger and laughed so hard.
i love the way he could make me laugh and made me feel comfortable.
comfortable to be myself and accept me for who i am .
but i hate that it was so easy to fall for him. i hate that it only took two months and that thats all our relationship lasted.
i hate that i was the one to mess it up. i hate that all it took was one time for me not to know how to help him when he needed me .
but most of all i hate that i love him.
renay esquivel Jul 2015
pulling up , i couldnt breathe.
whenever he is around its like my body shuts down
and i dont know what to do..

i hugged him and suddenly remembered all the times i used to feel his arms around me wrapped to lovingly.

she was standing behind him . too close for my liking . but i still smiled like everything was okay
but im never okay
renay esquivel Oct 2014
so did you mean it? when you said you cared?
did you mean it when you said you loved me? or that you'll always be there?
you were my best friend.. the greatest part of me.
but you lied. the whole time it was all just a big lie.
you never cared.
i was just a toy to you. something to keep you occupied for a while.
i was starting to rust so you threw me away
and set out for the shiny new toy.
renay esquivel Jul 2015
i had to stop trying bc i found my one, i just wasn't his.
renay esquivel Dec 2015
i was dancing with the devil
swirling round and round

then you kissed my lips
and my heart was yours.

and i started to fall for you.
deeper and deeper

you took my hand and said  
"ill never let you go"
but it was all a lie because
you did let me go

and i didnt have a choice
but to accept your wishes

so i let you leave and
you took my heart

now im sitting here
with an empty chest..

you said i was too good for you
and that you are a bad boy

well Mr. Bad Boy,
you knew i fell for you

you didnt think
to even catch me

as i went down
i hit the ground .

now my whole body is shattered
renay esquivel Apr 2016
i didnt even like you that way
i was only being nice
but then you went and made it into something
and i was trapped.. and i tried to leave but it felt wrong
so i gave you a chance but even that felt wrong
i knew i would hurt you but i was being selfish, taking you back for my own benefit
i knew it was fake but what did i care as long as i had someone there
we were two different people and i knew it would end
you had to be the one to do it this time
so i acted different and you saw
you say i dont care but i do
just needed a way to break you
i loved him, it was never going to be you
but he is gone and so i used you
but as the days went on i wanted him more..
im sorry for treating you the way i did
im sorry that it wasnt you
im sorry that it had to be that way
renay esquivel Nov 2015
I fell for you
and you knew
a hard fall too
but then you left me
and it hurt for a while
until i met someone new
and now youre back ,
having me thinking
"what do i do ?"
You
renay esquivel Dec 2015
You
But do you feel the way that i do?
Do you mean it when you say i love you?
Cuz X's and O's on a paper could be fake ,
and baby i hope i didn't make a mistake.

— The End —