My tears stain the pages of my farewell
Ink smudges against my skin
I sign my name at the bottom
Besides a "Goodbye"
I read over my words
"I love you's" running across the lines.
"Please dont cry." smudged on the sides.
"I'm sorry." written everywhere.
And your name is placed carefully in between.
So this is my farewell.
I love you.
Please don't cry.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye.

You
Are
My
3 AM
Thoughts
When
I'm
Lying
In
Bed
Alone

Your mouth
could do
brutal
things
to my
heart
but you’re a
risk
I’m willing to
****
because I have a feeling
your hands
would do
beautiful
things
to my
thighs.

I hold a cold blade in my hand
As tears fall across my face
I hold it against my skin
And take a deep breath
"I'm sorry." I whisper
As I start to draw blood
These cuts form letters
The ones that spell out your name
I need to keep this a secret
So, I won't tell you
That your name has been engraved in my leg
Ever since the day I started to miss you

"Do me a favor?" I whisper, my voice harsh
"Anything." you look up at me, tears in your eyes.
"Catch me"
I lean off the slippery bridge rail
I can hear you scream my name
Far above me
I crash hard into the sea
The cold water engulfs my body
I try to breathe and the liquid invades my lungs
Weighing me down like chains
My body grows heavy as the icy waters numb my nerves
My consciousness slowly fades
And just as fast as I fell
I'm gone

I'm
craving
Adventure
Attention
And
You

my head is filled up
with clouds and rain
and there's no one around
to make the sun shine again

I'm always so tired
I never want to put effort into anything
I just want to lay in my room
Cuddled up in my blankets
Lay in silence
With clouded thoughts clogging my mind
My depression is eating me alive
And I just sit here and let it

Do you ever get that tingling feeling in your skin?
Where you need to take a blade to your skin to make it stop?
Does your head ever get cloudy?
To the point where you don't know what's right and what's wrong?
Do you ever want to take your own life?
By hanging by a leather belt?
By swallowing sleeping pills?
By slicing your wrists?
Do you ever just want to be gone?

I'm trying to accept
That you have moved on
That you just left me behind
For some beautiful girl
I really hate
That you don't love me any more
But there's one thing
That's really going to crush me
The second I see
You and her together
I will fall apart
And will not be able to be put back together
Tears will fall down my cheeks
And my muffled cries will be heard from afar
I will bleed on the floor
And pound on the walls
Just leave me alone
And let me die on the inside

I roll up your sleeve
And see your heart
Burned into your skin

You roll up mine
And see the scars
Left from year's past

We smile at each other
And kiss the other's flaws
Loving what makes us different

I want you to go away
I don't want to hear about your problems
I don't want you to say, "I'm sorry." a thousand times
I don't want to tell you anything that's going on
I'm sick of you
I'm tired of hearing the same old thing
I don't care
I  really don't want to talk to you
I don't
I don't
I don't

If tears could build a staircase
And memories a lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again

I asked if you still love me
And you just looked away and sighed
I asked you why you didnt love me
And you just said it was nothing
So all I want to know is why
But you don't have the guts to tell me anything

My greatest dream
And my worst nightmare is the same person
My last thoughts will be him
My last words, his name
Always on my lips
I whisper it
I scream it
Knowing once he answers
My world will be whole again
And  everything will be okay.
I hold on to his name like an amulet
But what if he doesnt answer me anymore ?

he sits in his room
alone in the dark
tears in his eyes
a silver blade in his sight
everyone's asleep
no one to hear him cry
his voice softly whispers
his own lullaby
"hush little child
don't go to bed
'cause then all the monsters
who live in your head
will only just hurt you
until you are dead."
his mind goes cloudy
as the metal touches his skin
he whispers to himself
"alright monsters, you win"
he carves deep and carves hard
his warm blood pouring out
he bites his lip hard
as he tries not to shout
he wraps himself up
after the bleeding has stopped
"it's final." he whispers
"i've just given up"
"i'll write down my note
and say my goodbye
i won't tell them my story
but i'll sing my lullaby."

I am a worthless, stupid girl
Who doesn't deserve to be loved
I am an ugly, ungrateful girl
Who cuts to take away pain
I am a disgusting, unwanted girl
Who needs help, but won't ask for it
I am an imperfect girl
Stuck in a perfect world
I am me
But I'm not proud

You cry to me about all of your problems
I try and help the only way I can
By telling the truth
Your problems aren't that bad
No one has died
So, a guy doesn't like you
Big deal
Trust me, I have bigger problems
So, now you're done?
Alright
Fine
I didn't need you anyway

Your skin is stained with scars of your own doing.
Your makeup runs down your flushed cheeks.
You've tried to escape from this world full of pain.
But each time, you've been saved.
By someone who wants you to stay.
Someone who loves you.
There's someone watching over you, someone I don't believe in.
Telling you that you need to carry on.
So stay strong and keep marching.
And I will be here to catch you, when you trip and fall.

You wrap your arms around me
And cuddle up close to me
Your voice whispers softly,
"I love you."
But there's something you're forgetting
One very important factor
You
Have
A
Girlfriend
You tell me you can't choose
You love us both the same
You can't hurt either of us
Indecisive little boy
Make
Up
Your
Mind

Blood staining your baby blanket
Your childhood washed down the drain
Tears streaking your flushed cheeks
You now hide in the dark
That you were afraid of not so long ago
You sit alone
Scared of what you've become
Your innocence gone
Along with your sanity
All of it is lost
Unable to be found
Hiding
Just like you

You know when people say
"You only get lucky once"
That's totally okay with me
Because I don't need to get lucky again
I already have you

Every time I see you
With another girl
Even just sitting
Or standing next to one
I get this huge rush
Of jealousy
Because you're still mine
Even though you aren't *mine

I know my writing makes me sound sad
Maybe even suicidal
But this is how I hold myself together
This is how I stop doing something bad
I'm sorry if this makes you upset
Or if it makes you hate me
I just don't know how to write happy things anymore
I'll stop if you want me to
I'm so sorry

The smile on her face
Has been replaced with a frown
The cheeriness in her eyes
Has been replaced with emptiness
The laughter in her voice
Has been filled with sorrow
The blush on her cheeks
Has been stained with tears
The old scars on her skin
Have been renewed with a blade
The recovery she was so proud of
Has been taken away

I scream your name
At the top of my lungs
But you never answer
Not even with the smallest whisper
I'm starting to realize
That you stopped caring
And that I need to just give up

She's an angel with broken wings
She's ready to jump, but she can't soar above the clouds
She's an angel with a halo as black as midnight
She spends her tired nights drawing crimson on her skin
She's an angel whos beauty I can't fathom into words
She's the love of my life
She's an angel who lights up my world
She's my best friend
She's an angel

With each deep mark
I make on my skin
You said that it kills you
On the inside

Well, honey
My insides died along time ago
And that's why the marks
No longer cause me sorrow

Though I don't like seeing
The way your eyes dim
When I tell you that the tally marks
Have increased in quantity

So maybe I'll stop
So I don't cause you pain
Or maybe I'll hide it from you
Like the way I do with everyone else

There's something about you
And I don't know what it is
You make me feel safe
You make me feel loved
I could talk to you for hours
Just talking about nothing
I could say the weirdest things
And you'd just go right along with it
There's something about you
And I don't know what it is
But I like it

You lean against the scratchy brick wall of the locally famous night club taking a pack of **** from your inside coat pocket.
You can feel the bass pumping through the wall, in perfect time with your racing heart.
You place the cancer stick between your lips with a shaking hand and light the poison.

You look around the empty street, trying to clear your mind.
You try to soak it all it, but you can't.
All you see is the gist of everything, never truly understanding how things work, how the world works.

You don't know why you came here tonight.
You don't know why you run away from your problems.
And you most certainly don't know why you ignore all the enormous problems, when you can barely get yourself to understand the minuscule ones.

You take a long drag on your gasper and breathe out the toxic chemicals that are slowly destroying your wheezing lungs and look around the deserted street once again.
No change
No nothing
You're alone
Living your life in Spark Notes and cigarettes

I hate the phrase
"Stay Strong"
Because I am not weak
When I am at a low point in life
I am not weak when I skip a meal
I am not weak when my fingers slip down my throat
I am not weak when I dig a blade into my skin
Because weak human beings
Don't have enough courage
To destroy themselves the way I do

Let's live our lives in major chords
And leave behind the thought
Of sour notes and key changes

Once upon a time
In a land close to here
There lived the most beautiful princess in all the land
She ruled the kingdom with a crystal tiara
On top of her head

It was the day that her tiara shattered
That she lost all hope to go on
She took the broken pieces
And tore away and her beautiful, pale skin
Staining herself with crimson

No matter how hard she tried
She couldn't fix her ruined crown
She couldn't put the pieces or her shattered kingdom
Back in place

Once upon a time
There was a prince
Who was the most mighty and the most kind
Prince in all the land

He heard of the princess' troubles
And rode in
On his metaphorical white horse
And carefully picked up the pieces
Of her shattered crown
and broken kingdom

He put them back together
In the most careful manner
And placed the crown back upon her head
Saving her from what she had done

But no matter how carefully the prince placed the tiara
It always hung
Just a little bit crooked